Blimey! 

1. Partner. The pratt who decided we were beaten before we started and left seven batteries parked behind the centre doing nothing.

2. Opponent. The tosser who leaned on the join in the table and deposited all the figures on the deck in a heap.

3. Spectator. The dipstick who looked on with an indulgent smile as his four-year-old raked through a carefully staged demo game and left me to dissuade the little b*****d.

Can I change my opponent to someone who spends the first three turns of a game throwing a complete hissy fit (with all sorts of interesting language) about how useless his dice are; then, without swapping dice, proceeds to throw nothing but the dice he needs for the rest of the game, thrashing the pants off me, and still complaining about how useless his dice are!

Hmm, this 5 years ago was me, maybe I should be careful what I wish for...


Either that or someone who refuses to eat the 'to be shared by everyone' wine gums I provide for every game - dashed bad form!

Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 July 2011, 11:09:53 PM

Either that or someone who refuses to eat the 'to be shared by everyone' wine gums I provide for every game - dashed bad form!

You provide wine gums for everyone? I'm on my way! 

Something just occured to me regarding the start of this thread, why would you take a gun to a bridge game?

I konw our colonial cousins have an odd attitude concerning the "right to bear (beer? bare?) arms" but to go armed to a brdge game?! where was it, Tombstone?

New York, I think. I believe New Yorkers are at times driven to assert their membership of the great American tradition.

QuoteNew York

Pity, I rather liked the idea of it occuring in the old west, imagine Carry Grant, John Wayne, Alan Ladd and Clint Eastwood relaxing with a bottle of "red eye" and a game of bridge.

Interesting, actually. Gayspeak, big business, the old West, and bridge are the contexts where you're most likely to encounter the word "partner".
   Oscar Wilde, George Soros, Billy the Kid, and Ely Culbertson walk into a bar.... (Any ideas for a punchline?)

Quote from: FierceKitty on 06 August 2011, 12:14:41 AM
Interesting, actually. Gayspeak, big business, the old West, and bridge are the contexts where you're most likely to encounter the word "partner".
   Oscar Wilde, George Soros, Billy the Kid, and Ely Culbertson walk into a bar.... (Any ideas for a punchline?)

The barkeep says, "Howdy pardners, what'll it be?"

As one, they chorus, "Don't you fecking start"