Every bloody army I play as 

I'm with Plaindave and Tawa - let me try it - I lose with it. My all time favorite army to lose with, however,  were Ral Partha elves back in the late 70's.

It's cheating a bit, but in the game 'Battleground: Fantasy Warfare', a miniatures game in a deck of cards (the units are printed in a top-down illustration on the cards), my Lizardmen could not win a single battle. Despite formidable abilities and combat stats, even when my opponent graciously allowed me a bonus they could not make a single Morale check and usually never even got to enter a fight...

It started with Space Marines followed by Sisters of Battle, Lizardmen, Space wolves, Imperial Guard, 101st Airbourne, German Fallschirmjager, Late war Germans, Rebel Alliance (X-Wing).

Most of you will think I am a bad General but it's all the fault of the dice......................honest 

I don't have losing armies.

My dice on the other hand...

Quote from: GrumpyOldMan on 25 May 2016, 07:34:20 AM
Hello FK

This is a hard question because I've always tended to Doomed armies and it's  hard to select a particular one. Memorable debacles include a Hun army that had a human avalanche and decided it would be better to be somewhere else - in turn 2!! Chinese cataphracts beaten by peasant archers taking the general and guard spears out . Hindu Indian army that was so unlucky it could get beaten up by the scenery. All disasters but giving me chuckles then and now

Cheers

GrumpyOldMan

Are you Big Alan from my club?! He has almost exactly the same story about exactly the same army, no possible way to lose, one lucky shot on one unlucky virtually unstoppable unit followed by a virtually impossible morale fail and the whole army cascaded off table...

For my own part it's Pharaohs Boys. Sweet jebus. The bloody Hittites duff him every time. What's worse is he's got a single overly competent sub commander (usually played by Sniper Al/Sniper Pixie if you know him) who can consistently shoot up, break up and counter charge the Hittite heavies EVERY BLOODY TIME and then looks incredibly smug as the other two thirds of the Egyptian army disintegrates around him. "It's not that hard, look, all you need to do is..."

Mind, in the one true scale I have Hittites and my club mate has Egyptians and she's narrowly lost every time to a combo of expendable screening Syrian javelinmen followed by the heavy mob. The Egyptian Royal Guard always punch above their numbers though, A class discipline with attached general mean they a/ end up somewhere really awkward for me, really easily, and b/ are tough as bloody nails.

Hello TP

Quote from: toxicpixie on 01 June 2016, 11:49:19 PM
Are you Big Alan from my club?! He has almost exactly the same story about exactly the same army, no possible way to lose, one lucky shot on one unlucky virtually unstoppable unit followed by a virtually impossible morale fail and the whole army cascaded off table...

I am not Big Alan but I feel his pain. In this regard we are all Big Alan .

Cheers

GrumpyOldMan

Can we get that made up on t-shirts?

"We are all Big Alan".

Then we could go beat up a Visigoth.

Quote from: toxicpixie on 01 June 2016, 11:49:19 PM
Are you Big Alan from my club?! He has almost exactly the same story about exactly the same army, no possible way to lose, one lucky shot on one unlucky virtually unstoppable unit followed by a virtually impossible morale fail and the whole army cascaded off table...

For my own part it's Pharaohs Boys. Sweet jebus. The bloody Hittites duff him every time. What's worse is he's got a single overly competent sub commander (usually played by Sniper Al/Sniper Pixie if you know him) who can consistently shoot up, break up and counter charge the Hittite heavies EVERY BLOODY TIME and then looks incredibly smug as the other two thirds of the Egyptian army disintegrates around him. "It's not that hard, look, all you need to do is..."

Mind, in the one true scale I have Hittites and my club mate has Egyptians and she's narrowly lost every time to a combo of expendable screening Syrian javelinmen followed by the heavy mob. The Egyptian Royal Guard always punch above their numbers though, A class discipline with attached general mean they a/ end up somewhere really awkward for me, really easily, and b/ are tough as bloody nails.

Hmm, my Egyptian Royal Guard squadron, led by the Pharoah, yesterday attacked the Assyrian heavy chariots and had a flanking ambush of Sea People auxiliaries support them; and they got wiped out. My little lady is still gloating about it today, which is quite cute, really.

Visigoths are a peaceful people.  Only a tiny minority get the rest a bad reputation.

Hello

Quote from: fsn on 02 June 2016, 07:00:54 AM
Can we get that made up on t-shirts?

"We are all Big Alan".

Then we could go beat up a Visigoth.

Good idea about the t-shirts. However to beat up the Visigoths, we'd have to use a different army from my Chinese if we wish any chance of success .

Cheers

GrumpyOldMan

Chinese and Visigoths (or even Ostrogoths, which would have made a bit less of a geographical headache) didn't spend much time in sword-reach of each other.

That's because the goths were too busy raving!
https://youtu.be/gwvzP2JcFtg

I love that video

And yes, at some point, we're ALL Big Al. And should probably get t-shirts done but no one would get the reference outside this thread so maybe not!

Although - http://www.warehouse23.com/products/goth-t-shirt

Quote from: toxicpixie on 01 June 2016, 11:49:19 PM
Are you Big Alan from my club?! He has almost exactly the same story about exactly the same army, no possible way to lose, one lucky shot on one unlucky virtually unstoppable unit followed by a virtually impossible morale fail and the whole army cascaded off table...

Aha! I know the real Big Alan and claim my prize!

It was him wot had the Easterner army that gave my poor, undeserving Goblins a right tonking. Get Goblins, he said, it'll be fun...

I might remind him of that next week, it'll guarantee a chuckle

My 1877 Russians in BBB. In most battles they are Tactically Inept, Passive and outgunned by the Ottomans. Leaving your starting points always takes a pint of vodka.

All my armies are invincible - until I start rolling  the dice

Quote from: fsn on 02 June 2016, 07:00:54 AM
Can we get that made up on t-shirts?

"We are all Big Alan".

Then we could go beat up a Visigoth.

It would certainly mean we could find each other at shows...... 

I'm Big Alan