Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Gentlemen, a thought exercise for you.

Leon has lent his second best motor cruiser, the SS Pendraken to Techno who has cheerfully invited forum members of long and good standing on a voyage around the Isle of Wight. As I waved you all off I couldn't help thinking that Techno shouldn't have turned to port instead of starboard.

Several weeks later, you are caught in a tropical storm somewhere in Micronesia. The SS Pendraken is going down. Fortunately the lifeboat is well supplied with dice, rulers, rulesets and enough Vallejo products to last for 12 years.

However, you have only enough to to grab 8 medium sized armies before the ship turns turtle. Which do you take?



I picked ... British armour 1944, German PzGren 1944, Union 1861, Confederate 1861, Anglo-Portuguese 1813, French 1813, Late Greek Hoplite, early Republican Roman

Define "medium sized"

Not big ... not small.

Whatever you think of as medium sized. For me, that means my British 1944 can't have Paratroopers or Commandos.

The British Peninsula force probably can't have all the Household cavalry and a proper amount of light cavalry.

So, medium sized ... the army of Shurrupak at 1:1 scale but not the army of Lagash, Ur or Agade to the same scale?

Meanwhile, the ship sinks further into the briny. 

.... gurgle .....

[btw: is the ship well-stocked?]

Oh yes.

Plenty of good Scottish beers.

Now you're distracting me!    :-\

[meanwhile, I bags one Williamite and one Jacobite 1690'ish army ... now .... what beers have we got .... gurgle ....]

Four Prussian 1870, four French 1870!

I've just had a horrible thought. What if we get washed ashore and find out that's where Fiercekitty lives?  :o

[meanwhile, I bags one Union 1862 and one Confederate 1862 army ..... gurgle ....]

[swimming madly to catch up]

wait! [sputter!]  I've got sun block........[pant!] .......and brushes!....I've got the brushes!!

[splash! splash! sputter!]

Did find an entire Elizabethan army floating in bubble wrap and a bunch of Aztecs! No - wait - what the hell are these things!?

Ok easy then:

1944 british armour, infantry and paras (that's 3)
1944 german armour and infantry (2 more)
my small soviet battlegroup  (1 more)
Union and confederate ACW armies (bringing the total to 8)

SYW Prussians, Austrians.
Republican Romans, Seleucids.
Renaissance French, Spanish.
17th century Poles, Muscovites.

I'd rescue

Sumerians x 2
Old Kingdom Egyptians
Amurru
Gutians/ Lullubi
Meluhhans
Elamites
Eblaites

Quote from: Ithoriel on 03 October 2016, 11:23:52 PM
I'd rescue

Sumerians x 2
Old Kingdom Egyptians
Amurru
Gutians/ Lullubi
Meluhhans
Elamites
Eblaites

You're making 'em up as you go along! Btw, how many of those could be proxied from existing ranges?

16th century Ottoman Turks, Persians and Venetians (3)
LoA French and Grand Alliance (2)
Early Italian Wars French, Spanish and an alliance of Italian states (3)

This may change  ;D

Cheers
Ian

Lifeboat ?

Do you really think I'd remember to have one of those on board ?

I probably shouldn't have let Westie have a go at 'driving' either.

Cheers - Phil

British '44 @ Germans '44
Prussians & Austrians SYW
Prussians & Austrians 1866
Parliament & Royalist ECW

All the Warband Armies plus sculpting tools so Phil can create new Armies from coconuts, avocados etc

Quote from: FierceKitty on 04 October 2016, 01:39:43 AM
You're making 'em up as you go along! Btw, how many of those could be proxied from existing ranges?

:)

Not many to be honest.

As to making them up ...
Sumerians and Old Kingdom Egyptians I'm pretty sure you know about!
Amurru - the biblical Amorites, known to the Sumerians as the MAR.TU. The Sand People.
Gutians/ Lullubi - The wild hill tribes from the foothills of the Zagros mountains
Meluhhans or Melukkans or even Meluhkhkans - the Sumerian name for the people of the Indus Valley Culture (with capital cities at Mohenjo-daro and Harrappa)
Elamites - the culture from what is now western and south-western Iran, it's most important city was Susa
Eblaites - from the eponymous city of Ebla in what is now Syria, a major player in the area ... when not being smacked flat by some passing invader or another.

French - Prussian 1870
French - Spanish early C16th
Belgian - German 1914
Late Roman - Sassanid

Quote from: Ithoriel on 04 October 2016, 07:00:42 AM
:)

Not many to be honest.

As to making them up ...
Sumerians and Old Kingdom Egyptians I'm pretty sure you know about!
Amurru - the biblical Amorites, known to the Sumerians as the MAR.TU. The Sand People.
Gutians/ Lullubi - The wild hill tribes from the foothills of the Zagros mountains
Meluhhans or Melukkans or even Meluhkhkans - the Sumerian name for the people of the Indus Valley Culture (with capital cities at Mohenjo-daro and Harrappa)
Elamites - the culture from what is now western and south-western Iran, it's most important city was Susa
Eblaites - from the eponymous city of Ebla in what is now Syria, a major player in the area ... when not being smacked flat by some passing invader or another.

I used to have a half-and-half Elamite-Babylonian alliance army to fight the Assyrians, back in 6mm days.

I'm impressed you're all going for opposing armies that match up!

You're obviously not real wargamers or you'd all have picked something out of period not just for your own selection, but somehow out of period for everyone elses :D Also, how come no ones managed to slip a scale or two, or argue about basing and rules yet? Surely that's much important than getting off the boar, after all we..

 :-\

Toxic', why are you on a boar?

Why does Leon even keep a boar on the SS Pendraken?

Is it alive, or stuffed?

You don't think I'm doing all the swimming to this island myself, do you? I have a robust figure to maintain and can't go spoiling it with muscle tone!

Being only one letter away from BOAT, BOARS are rather buoyant and make excellent platforms for escaping sinking ships.

Although as mine is not even properly undercoated, only 40mm long and made of lead I may have miscalculated...

For armies to rescue can I choose inflatable ones in 1 to 1 scale?! No sniggering at the back!

Are we limited to current Pendraken Ranges?

Quote from: DanJ on 04 October 2016, 08:58:41 AM
Are we limited to current Pendraken Ranges?

Most of our choices deviate from the O.P.'s specifications.

Quote from: DanJ on 04 October 2016, 08:58:41 AM
Are we limited to current Pendraken Ranges?

Nope. Any force, any time.

Could be an air force or a naval force. 

In that case, can I have the Jutland fleet, 1:1 scale, then we could all sail home.

If the SS Pendraken was a part of it it's no wonder it sunk :D

..... heh! ...... why did the water suddenly get warm there? ....... Nobby!   :-w


[meanwhile, I bags an American Continental/Militia AWI army and a British/Hessian AWI army]

Hang on! if we are quick with our decisions with 8 armies each  we should be able to take one medium sized army and an opponent from the entire range.#


But in the interests of this post

Italian wars French, Spanish, Italian states
Renaissance  Turkish
ACW Confederates and Union
Early WW2 Germans
Early WW2 British

If its a desert Island with lots of space and inhabited by only wargamers we could do WW2 western desert in 28mm on the beach.

Quote from: Westmarcher on 04 October 2016, 10:29:42 AM
..... heh! ...... why did the water suddenly get warm there? ....... Nobby!   :-w

Don't blame me! I didn't get invited on the jaunt!   >:(

And you can't have 1:1. Biggest available is 54mm.

Quote from: fsn on 04 October 2016, 10:36:03 AM
Don't blame me! I didn't get invited on the jaunt!   >:(

Heh! Wait a minute! This is getting very suspicious. If you weren't invited, why were you on the ship? And, if not, why would you grab "British armour 1944, German PzGren 1944, Union 1861, Confederate 1861, Anglo-Portuguese 1813, French 1813, Late Greek Hoplite, early Republican Roman" armies before it set sail?  :-\

Ha! Answer that, sirrah!   [-(

[meanwhile, I bags an 1813 French and an 1813 Russo/Prussian army]

btw: all my armies, so far, are in 10mm - seems to me, there's a lot of heresy going on above.

I wasn't on the ship. I would have taken those armies if I had been able.

I just placed the limpet mines.

Quote from: fsn on 04 October 2016, 11:46:14 AM
I wasn't on the ship. I would have taken those armies if I had been able.

I just placed the limpet mines.

I knew we would finally winkle the truth out if you

He's squids in on the insurance.

Quote from: fsn on 04 October 2016, 11:46:14 AM
I wasn't on the ship.

Damn! I could have sworn that figurehead at the prow with the long .. er ... thingy ..... was you.
[*voice from side* .. eh? ... what? .... that was the bowsprit? .... oh .... ] 
... and OK, the words, "As I waved you all off" was also a clue (damn! I'll never make detective!).

Quote from: fsn on 04 October 2016, 11:46:14 AM

I just placed the limpet mines.

I knew it! Storm indeed! I can see now that it was your and your cockleshell pals' nefarious scheme to get the rest of us out of the way so that it would be your opinion and yours alone that would dominate the Requests page! I can here the evil laughter now ..... (hee, hee, hee) (.... eh? Shouldn't that be a tad deeper and scarier?).

... but .... wait ... who ... if it wasn't you ... why, as we all swam to the lifeboat (or boar .... or goat), did the water suddenly get warm?  ..... Techno?!

[meanwhile, I bags a French 1870 and a German 1870 army] [and some more beer]

I think Nobby has clammed up

I don't know. Don't be surprised if he soon mussels in.


[meanwhile I bags an Austrian 1809 army] [and some more beer]

I now have a sort of Gilligan's Island image in my head. Think it will soon turn to a Lord of the Flies.

... or possiblely The Decameron?

One hopes not.

:-&

Any news on the boar?

Or do we not mention the boar  :ar!

If they make it to the island it's available for dinner. Given the strong, heroic outdoorsman quality of the Forumites it'll probably be roasted them on a stick, mind.

There is a line from a Noel Coward song (can't remember which one) which goes something like, "...and he took to pig sticking in QUITE the wrong way!"

I wonder what happened to him?
*trigger warning: may contain lyrics no longer acceptable*


Verse 1

The India that one read about
And may have been misled about
In one respect has kept itself intact.
Though 'Pukka Sahib' traditions may have cracked
And thinned
The good old Indian army's still a fact.
That famous monumental man
The Officer and Gentleman
Still lives and breathes and functions from Bombay to Katmandu
At any moment one can glimpse
Matured or embryonic 'Blimps'
Vivaciously speculating as to what became of who.
Though Eastern sounds may fascinate your ear
When West meets West you're always sure to hear-

Refrain 1

Whatever became of old Bagot?
I haven't seen him for a year.
Is it true that young Forbes had to marry that Faggot
He met in the Vale of Kashmir?
Have you had any news
Or that chap in the Blues?,
Was it Prosser or Pyecroft or Pym?
He was stationed in Simla, or was it Bengal?
I know he got tight at a ball in Nepal
And wrote several four-letter words on the wall.
I wonder what happened to him!

Refrain 2

Whatever became of old Shelley?
Is it true that young Briggs was cashiered
For riding quite nude on a push-bike through Delhi
The day the new Viceroy appeared?
Have you had any word
Of that bloke in the 'Third',
Was it Southerby, Sedgwick or Sim?
They had him thrown out of the club in Bombay
For, apart from his mess bill exceeding his pay,
He took to pig-sticking in quite the wrong way.
I wonder what happened to him!

Verse 2

One must admit that by and large
Upholders of the British Raj*
Don't shine in conversation as a breed.
Though Indian army officers can read
A bit
Their verbal wit-has rather run to seed.
Their splendid insularity
And roguish jocularity
Was echoing through India when Victoria was Queen.
In restaurants and dining-cars,
In messes, clubs and hotel bars
They try to maintain tradition in the way it's always been.
Though worlds may change and nations disappear
Above the shrieking chaos you will hear-

Refrain 3

Whatever became of old Tucker?
Have you heard any word of young Mills
Who ruptured himself at the end of a chukka
And had to be sent to the hills?
They say that young Lees
Had a dose of D.T.'s'
And his hopes of promotion are slim.
According to Stubbs, who's a bit of a louse,
The silly young blighter went out on a 'souse',
And took two old tarts into Government House.
I wonder what happened to him!

Refrain 4

Whatever became of old Keeling?
I hear that he got back from France
And frightened three nuns in a train in Darjeeling
By stripping and waving his lance!
D'you remember Munroe,
In the P.A.V.O?
He was tallish and mentally dim.
The talk of heredity can't be quite true,
He was dropped on his head by his ayah at two,
I presume that by now he'll have reached G.H.Q.
I'm sure that's what happened to him!

Refrain 5

Whatever became of old Archie?
I hear he departed this life
After rounding up ten sacred cows in Karachi
To welcome the Governor's wife.
D'you remember young Phipps
Who had very large hips
And whose waist was excessively slim?
Well, it seems that some doctor in Grosvenor Square
Gave him hormone injections for growing his hair
And he grew something here, and he grew something there.
I wonder what happened to her-him?

[Note: *In an early version the lack of conversational skills of the ?upholders of the British Raj? was replace by-]

Devote themselves to action and to deed.

Coward Jo shrinking violet when it came to barbed criticism of the Establishmet, was he?! He'd be on a Murdoch/BBC black list these days and confined to comedy panel shows :D

So, from a practical point of view, does anyone know if washing paintbrushes in salt water effects the bristles?

Oh, and does anyone mind if the 'hills' used for the games are quite hairy and brown in colour? And are a bit, well, coconutty??  

Still, those palm leaves will make for excellent gaming cloths.

Things are looking up.

Now, if only I could make it ashore!

I am still swimming also - with one arm! - since I've still got the brushes - and trying to keep them out of the salt water - which I believe will ruin them! (This may have no basis in fact but I believe to be true - just as I believe European men's fashion of the late 17th century has never been equaled before or since - although the Aztecs came close).

This is the second day of this and I not even sure I'm heading in the right direction - could someone set fire to a palm tree or something?

*release the sharks!*

*has image of FSN standing on the shore of the Island in his General Jumbo uniform and using his arm controller*

D__n! Now down to one arm while treading water,holding brushes in teeth and fending of
Sharks with a double aught brush! Clearly the ancient sea gods have not been propitiated!
Considering hurling the entire Elizabethan army at them - except the Demi-lancers of course - which have
to be conserved for the fertility ceremonies later.

This is the point you can gain 'Knowledge of Pendraken Lore' points and hurl 28mm Elizabethans at them for extra damage

Quote from: d_Guy on 05 October 2016, 08:25:05 PM
D__n! Now down to one arm while treading water,holding brushes in teeth and fending of
Sharks with a double aught brush!

Why don't you just get into the zodiac Westie's driving behind you?

Lore rating is barely a one - so 19 or 20 on a d20? If I had 28mm I would have downed already - that's why I switched to 10mm - the survivabilty factor!

Thinking of stripping and waving me lance!!

Wait! What!?  Westie behind me!!?

I see him! No...that's not a Zodiac!! And that's not Westie! WTF!!????

Ah! Captain Ahab and his first mate ... "call me Ithoriel".

Would like to get to the part "where he never went to sea again"!

"The many men, so beautiful!
And they all dead did lie:
And a thousand thousand slimy things
Lived on; and so did I."  ― Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Look, stop quoting the opium addict and tell us the real news, when will the dessert island arrive

And that which is not dead will eternal lie.

Why don't we just walk ashore?

We can all either walk on the water or the sea floor, right?

Or fly.

If not, we've all gone a bit wrong.

The desert island is just a few yards away ... if you go in the right direction. (D-guy!)

Quote from: mad lemmey on 05 October 2016, 10:22:02 PM
when will the dessert island arrive

I've got it in the boot* of my car. Anyone feel like a pudding?  :)

* trunk to you d-guy.

Hopefully the "keepers of the Holy Grail"  will have also been shipwrecked on the island as well

ZOOT: Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared
to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between
sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle on this island with no one to
protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing,
making exciting underwear....   :d

I'm not sure anyone feels hopeful during a shipwreck.

Unless its an insurance scam. Though its probably the (safely housed on dryland) boat owner who's the hopeful one, there. The captain is probably defecating himself, even if he is assured a cut of the money.

The technical term for that scam is "barratry". One of the few things my mummy has taught me in the last thirty years.

Quote from: fsn on 06 October 2016, 07:02:19 AM
The desert island is just a few yards away ... if you go in the right direction. (D-guy!)

There is none so blind that cannot see. (You are in a plain room - all walls are the same - Action:  turn West. turn Three times, Hop, take a Drink.

...And next I suppose, Westie, you'll tell me the engine compartment is under a bonnet - absurd!

Clearly Zoot needs a d--n good spanking!

Yeah, he's a naughty boy ... as are all at that castle on that island.

Quote from: d_Guy on 06 October 2016, 01:34:24 PM
...And next I suppose, Westie, you'll tell me the engine compartment is under a bonnet - absurd!

No one told me there was an engine.  =)

Cheers - Capt'n Techno.  :P

Quote from: FierceKitty on 06 October 2016, 12:53:53 PM
The technical term for that scam is "barratry". One of the few things my mummy has taught me in the last thirty years.

So the take away here is that the Island we are trying for is Barra?

the Isle of Barra. It has a sort-a good ring to the name.

Which of us is going to go ashore to try and communicate with the natives first?

there's a note in a bottle floating along beside me. I've opened it and its from some bloke wanting to sell me little blue pills.

wait, there's another note inside the bottle. this one is for a bank in some foreign country, or other.

bloody spam mail!

still, least I've now got two pieces of bog roll  :-bd

Barra? Excellent! I'm off to rent Crannag Beachside. Plenty of room for painting and gaming :).

I though Barratry was the process of making liquorice allsorts?

Or perhaps shooting people with large calibre not-sniper rifles?

Or where one keeps one's bats? (The trained ones not the wooden ones)

The slimy thing first thought to be Westie and his Zodiac has crawled by, its legs disturbing the slimy sea and lo I see a human form bobbing on the deep green ocean.

"Roy!", I cry, "Is that you, Roy!!?"

Quote from: d_Guy on 06 October 2016, 02:55:28 PM

"Roy!", I cry, "Is that you, Roy!!?"

You're only pretending to be his friend because he has the bog roll.  :Ph

Holding it above his head one hopes!

What happened to those armies? I presume they sank without trace, being lead.

The ones in bubble wrap have an even or better chance, I think  - assuming one isn't treading water and popping bubbles (a set up line).

"The slimy thing first thought to be Westie and his Zodiac has crawled by" ~ d_guy

"release the sharks" ~ fsn [note that these have since scarpered?]

" ... assuming one isn't treading water and popping bubbles." ~ d_guy

:-\

Wait! A hellish pattern seems to be emerging. Maybe its a mermaid?

Aaaargghh! It is! Swim for your lives! Its Bubbles Devere!

:o :o :o :-& :-& :-& X_X X_X X_X

Public Service Announcement
Due to a sense of propriety and responsibility to our younger readers, the intended video cannot be shown (boo, hiss). But if you wish to know more, please refer to 'Little Britain USA Bubbles Devere' on YouTube.

Good lord!! It is - and with water wings deployed!!  :o

Somethings can not be unseen!!!

Sorry chaps, I rolled up the bog roll and shoved them up my nose. One in each nostril is helping to keep out the sea water.
[I hope none of you were wanting to use the paper for drybrushing?]

I've currently got an army pack down the front of my Speedos. The bulkiness of the packaging is most flattering - If not making me look a little misshapen!
Best not go into detail as to why I was wearing Speedos on a sailing craft filled with other men  :-t =O

Oh, the army pack. 'Which is it?', I hear a cry coming from the shoreline. Err, Sci-Fi Zombies, but with no human survivors. Hope that helps  :-SS

*Views scenes of chaos and desolation. Lowers periscope, turns  cap the right way.*

My work here is done.

Well I have made it to the beach, only lost one army on the way in. But as I am now off to the castle with Zoot.......I may be some time  ;)

I'm on the beach, coconut daiquiri anyone?

I'm using the Captain's jet ski.

Anyone want a lift ?....Nobody ?.....(Probably a sensible choice with me driving.)

Cheers - Phil.

Techno, he of the golden fingers, urges his aquasteed forward across the wine dark sea, breakers foaming white just to his front...

"Bridge,Mast -  periscope - green 50, repeat, periscope - green 50.
"Weapons, Bridge  - designate contact 'Unicorn One' - prepare firing solution.
"Weapons Aye"

Nobby.

Stop sending Guy scripts to use.  ;)

Cheers - Phil

Regrettably for the overall sanity index of the planet, I haven't. It's all his own work.

I wonder if he's taking the same pills as you ?  ;)

Cheers - Phil

Quote from: Techno on 08 October 2016, 05:38:43 AM
I wonder if he's taking the same pills as you ?  ;)

Cheers - Phil

Na - Nobby has to take extra strength ones due to the ambient atmosphere in Runcorn and Widnes.

Actually, I just lick the walls nowadays.

Outside for a real hit.

Quote from: Techno on 06 October 2016, 02:06:01 PM
No one told me there was an engine.  =)

Cheers - Capt'n Techno.  :P

I was wondering why you were using the outboard motor to row with

 :D

Who needs an outboard to move fast when Bubbles Devere and Williamson with Speedos are in the water!  :-&

Put the barbie on, Lemmey! I've got the beer!

[did anyone notice that I managed to grab eleven armies?]

No Barbies, we ran out of Sindys last night; we could sacrifice an Action Man* instead!

*GI Joe rip off for our transatlantic readers.

Gentlemen, you have the figures, the brushes, the paints. BUT who has the average dice?

Actually back on meds. Standing wet and bedraggled on a strange beach that a passing figure told me is in Luton (although this seems problematic).

Am now watching Fenton, ML and Westie do inappropriate things to an Action Man Which is wearing only the torn remnants of a pixilated BDU.

FSN is conducting experiments on a crab and they are having what appears to be an animated conversation.

I have average dice - they throw ones half the time.

Quote from: d_Guy on 08 October 2016, 02:06:44 PM
FSN is conducting experiments on a crab and they are having what appears to be an animated conversation.

Knowing his preferences for erotic entertainment he is probably trying to persuade it to use its claws to clamp his nipples......I hope its just his nipples