Loss of the SS Pendraken, and a desert island

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Look, stop quoting the opium addict and tell us the real news, when will the dessert island arrive

[toxicpixie]

And that which is not dead will eternal lie.

Why don't we just walk ashore?

We can all either walk on the water or the sea floor, right?

Or fly.

If not, we've all gone a bit wrong.

[fsn]

The desert island is just a few yards away ... if you go in the right direction. (D-guy!)

[Westmarcher]

when will the dessert island arrive

I've got it in the boot* of my car. Anyone feel like a pudding? 

* trunk to you d-guy.

[Orcs]

Hopefully the "keepers of the Holy Grail"  will have also been shipwrecked on the island as well

ZOOT: Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared
to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between
sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle on this island with no one to
protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing,
making exciting underwear....   

[FierceKitty]

I'm not sure anyone feels hopeful during a shipwreck.

[Roy]

Unless its an insurance scam. Though its probably the (safely housed on dryland) boat owner who's the hopeful one, there. The captain is probably defecating himself, even if he is assured a cut of the money.

[FierceKitty]

The technical term for that scam is "barratry". One of the few things my mummy has taught me in the last thirty years.

[d_Guy]

The desert island is just a few yards away ... if you go in the right direction. (D-guy!)

There is none so blind that cannot see. (You are in a plain room - all walls are the same - Action:  turn West. turn Three times, Hop, take a Drink.

...And next I suppose, Westie, you'll tell me the engine compartment is under a bonnet - absurd!

[d_Guy]

Clearly Zoot needs a d--n good spanking!

[fsn]

Yeah, he's a naughty boy ... as are all at that castle on that island.

[Techno]

...And next I suppose, Westie, you'll tell me the engine compartment is under a bonnet - absurd!

No one told me there was an engine. 

Cheers - Capt'n Techno. 

[d_Guy]

The technical term for that scam is "barratry". One of the few things my mummy has taught me in the last thirty years.

So the take away here is that the Island we are trying for is Barra?

[Roy]

the Isle of Barra. It has a sort-a good ring to the name.

Which of us is going to go ashore to try and communicate with the natives first?

[Roy]

there's a note in a bottle floating along beside me. I've opened it and its from some bloke wanting to sell me little blue pills.

wait, there's another note inside the bottle. this one is for a bank in some foreign country, or other.

bloody spam mail!

still, least I've now got two pieces of bog roll