Men Teaching Classes for Women

[Chad]

Men TeachingClasses for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By December 29, 2013

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum ..
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

[fsn]

There's brave!

[Leon]

 

Is there a matching set of classes for Men though I wonder?

[fsn]

Nah! Men get constant appraisal and performance critique with "helpful" improvement points.

[Nosher]

Is there a matching set of classes for Men though I wonder?

Absolutely Because we all know (from painful experience) that the fairer sex:

1. Have to have the last word

2. That they are always right

3. That we wear the trousers in the home as were very kindly given her permission to wear them.

4. Its safer all round if you want to retain the use of your bollocks

[Last Hussar]

Cushion Addiction.  When is it too many?

[Matt J]

Been painting the front of my house today its quite big with 3 story high gable ends, its been ballbreaking. I've been up a thirty foot ladder next to the road with only my delicate sense of balance saving me from certain death.
wife comes out to say 'so what colour are you going to paint the hanging basket brackets, its very important'

woman lack any sort of perspective

[sebigboss79]

Absolutely Because we all know (from painful experience) that the fairer sex:

1. Have to have the last word

...

Strangely I always have the last word in my marriage...

"Yes, darling!" "Of course, darling!" "At once, darling!" 

[Orcs]

Strangely I always have the last word in my marriage...

"Yes, darling!" "Of course, darling!" "At once, darling!" 

Have you noticed how agreeing with them like this always seems to wind them up more

[sebigboss79]

Have you noticed how agreeing with them like this always seems to wind them up more

I just woke up from the latest coma resulting from wife seeing me on this thread 

[Nosher]

Have you noticed how agreeing with them like this always seems to wind them up more

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"Absolutely not darling."

"You're not just saying that are you?"

Case rested your honour

[Ithoriel]

Filched from t'internet but seemed appropriate for the thread :-)

NB: Not my original and I don't necessarily agree with all of it  but enough of it amused me to make me think it worth posting

GUY'S RULES

1) Men are not mind readers.

2) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If its up, put it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down though we need it up usually.

3) Watching sports on Sunday after church. Its like the full moon or the changing tides. Its inevitable - let it be.

4) Shopping is not a sport, and no we will never think of it that way. And please stop telling us how much you saved by buying something.

5) Crying is emotional blackmail. Yes, we know it works sometimes.

6) Subtle hints do not work for most of us. Strong hints don't usually work. Just tell us what you want, and assume we are thick as a post.

7) Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to most questions. We are not being coy.

Come to us with a problem if you want help solving it. If you only want sympathy, that's what your girlfriends are for.

9) A headache that lasts for 10 months is a problem. See a doctor.

10) Anything a guy said in an argument 10 months ago is inadmissible in a current argument. In fact all comments become null and void after seven days. They have a shelf life.

11) If you think you're fat, please do not ask us our opinion. There are no right answers to such a question.

12) If something we've said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of them makes you mad or sad, then of course we meant it the other way.

13) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know the best way to do it, then perhaps you should do it yourself.

14) Whenever possible, if you have something important to say during a sports match or movie on the TV, please wait until the commercials.

15) Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

16) If it itches it will be scratched. Men do that - yes even in public.

17) All men see in only 16 colours, like a Windows default setting. Peach for example is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is. Also, men only smell certain things-- things like hamburgers cooking.

18) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you'd rather not hear.

19) You have enough shoes and too many clothes.

20) If we ask what's wrong and you say 'nothing' we will assume you are telling the truth. Don't be shocked if we don't ask again in five minutes.

21) I am in shape. Round is a shape!