Forum barfight

[Last Hussar]

Love the way they add on a gratuity, then leave space for you to add on a gratuity.

[fsn]

Been sat here since June waiting for a pint.

Eaten all the peanuts.

The last few definitely tasted of urine.

Probably should remember to wash my hands.

I remember the glory days when this place was full. Hordes of laughing, chatting gamers - discussing their latest painting, and the research they'd done. That's why I started coming here, and you know, for the first few times it was wonderful. I joined in wholeheartedly, put a few people right on a number of things, and told them all my stories of gaming derring do.

But these things don't seem to last do they? Fewer people came in. It became noticeable just a few weeks after I started coming in. I wonder if it was because they changed the beer - I say beer but it was just that lager stuff. I told 'em straight. "You want to get some proper beer in, mate." I said. Told that Lennie a few times. Funnily enough he seemed quite angry. But he didn't take my advice and you see the result! An empty bar.

Still, there's an atmosphere here. It like gamers' aura has seeped into the walls like red seeps into white however long you leave it to dry.

Wonder where the lads are? Probably at home with their womenfolk. Being told what to do. Not being able to decide what to eat. Having to put their clothes in a laundry hamper. Not for me, matey. Oh no! I'm a free spirit. A Frei Schnapps as the Germans would have it. No ties for me! I come and go as I please. If I want to go to bed late, well there's no-one there to give me the evil eye. Or warm the bed up. Still I've got a hot water bottle. There's no-one to tell me that I've spent too long painting and I'll ruin my eyes. Nobody tells me that I shouldn''t buy that book, then smiles and says "oh go on then". I buy what I want, when I want. Slave to nobody. A free spirit - Libre Cognac the French would call it. Oh yes! It's the life for a real man. No distractions. Able to focus.  

I suppose I should push off. Doesn't look like there's any staff on again. Pity. I was hoping for a hot pie and maybe a packet of salted nuts. Still, I don't need their business if they don't need my custom. I've got some bacon and half a tin of beans. And my pride. Their loss. I'd tell that cross Benny if he was here. Perhaps I could leave a note.  I could write it on the back of this other one I left. Oh! I've already left a note on the back of the note.

Never mind. I'll just go. We can do that, we free spirits - grazi vino - can do that. Can go anywhere - like a bird on the wing, a dolphin in the sea or a customs and excise officer in any premises.  I've got the last of "The Fall" to watch, with that Gillian Anderson.

Living the dream. A free spirit. 

[Matt J]

Or it could be its 10am and the bar ain't open 

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Sorry, was rather enjoying breakfast.
Who ordered the peanut? Catch!
(Do you think the accelerated peanut has slowed enough yet)?

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Oh, the idioms are ready, not that you really wanted them... Maybe later?

[fsn]

I've been trying to catch that peanut for months.

I'd sit here and then zipp! and away it would go. Away before I can react. Nearly had it once, but it seemed to put on a bit of a spurt and it outran me.

Isn't it about time you got more staff? You could get an intern or something couldn't you? I mean, it doesn't take a lot of brains to run a bar does it? Any plank of wood could do it. It's not even as if there's any proper beers to remember - just fizzy lager. Yes any idiot could be a barkeep.

...

I'll let myself out. 

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Watch the bear trap FSN.

[fsn]

Thanks for that warning.

Just timed it right.



Could someone help me get this bear trap off my leg?

[Westmarcher]

Yes any idiot could be a barkeep.

You're right.

I once had a job as a barman. 

[fsn]

Me too.

I kept bar in North Wales, then when I moved to Sheffield, I volunteered to be a barman at the local Territorial Army event. (I remember a board with lots of officers with VD after their names. Apparently VD meant Voluntary decoration.)

Anyway, I got quite narky with some chap ordering "a glass of beer". Apparently in Yorkshire this meant "a half of bitter".

Never got asked back.

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

What, you mean it comes in pints!

[fsn]

Don't we all? 

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Cant drink beer in anything less than a pint glass......Glass of Stella NOW Nobby !

Ian S

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

You lot usually drink in gallons!
One gallon of Stella...

[Last Hussar]

It's quiet Sergeant...  Too quiet...