Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Non-Wargaming Discussion => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: Last Hussar on 10 August 2012, 04:39:33 PM

Title: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 10 August 2012, 04:39:33 PM
Right - who spilled my pint?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 10 August 2012, 04:46:12 PM
You did you drunken sod... Now me Tayto's are all soggy!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 10 August 2012, 04:59:06 PM
*draws rapier
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 10 August 2012, 05:04:07 PM
It was an act of mercy... you were drinking Stella...  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 10 August 2012, 05:20:03 PM
She's with me.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 August 2012, 05:21:43 PM
You lookin' at me pal ? >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 10 August 2012, 05:23:02 PM
I couldn't even find yer pal.  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 August 2012, 05:25:40 PM
(Pushes chair back noisily and stands up !)

(You can tell it's Friday afternoon can't you !)  ;)....Keep going Ray !!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 10 August 2012, 05:26:29 PM
Punches Leon with the raipiers hand guard for daring to suggest I would drink lager.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 05:34:58 PM
Now, now, what's all this then ?

Flexes knees, twirls truncheon menacingly!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Nosher on 10 August 2012, 05:35:17 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 10 August 2012, 04:39:33 PM
Right - who spilled my pint?

If ya spent less time yapping and more time drinking there'd be nowt to spill...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: O Dinas Powys on 10 August 2012, 05:36:03 PM
Quote from: Leon on 10 August 2012, 05:04:07 PM
It was an act of mercy... you were drinking Stella...  :o

=D>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 10 August 2012, 05:47:22 PM
Runs up the stairs to the balcony and grabs a suspiciously handy rope.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 05:51:10 PM
Now, I wouldn't have done that if I were you!  Drops truncheon, draws light sabre, lops right arm off inebriated felon.  " He viciously assaulted my light sabre with his biceps, me lud!" He scribbled hurriedly in his note book.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 August 2012, 05:52:06 PM
Runs out of bar room door to fetch vermin control gun !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 10 August 2012, 06:12:58 PM
Sits in corner with half of in shadow, menacingly, slowly sipping from shot of something that, when spilled, starts burning through the table; raises eyebrow...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 06:41:29 PM
Ain't you got no 'omes to go to? he drawled as an amused grin momentarily crossed his face,  his light sabre purring contentedly in his hand.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 August 2012, 06:57:14 PM
Techno returns (after checking the chickens) and calls into the bar....
"Oi !...You lot in there....I'm locked and loaded....Come out if you think you're hard enough !"


(http://i1118.photobucket.com/albums/k611/technodestructorman/IMGP3799.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 07:13:47 PM
Call that a gun? He said, now this...........this is a GUN!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 10 August 2012, 07:17:16 PM
Quote from: Techno on 10 August 2012, 06:57:14 PM
(http://i1118.photobucket.com/albums/k611/technodestructorman/IMGP3799.jpg)

I went to GW, and all I got was this lousy sweater...  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 10 August 2012, 07:22:18 PM
Now calm down please. The floor has just been given a fresh coat of armypainter sorry varnish and I have brought  Pimms,Babysham and an introductory game of Flames of War for everyone to partake in
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 10 August 2012, 07:23:21 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 10 August 2012, 07:22:18 PM
...Pimms,Babysham and an introductory game of Flames of War for everyone to partake in

Well it's all gonna kick off now...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 10 August 2012, 07:26:50 PM
Throws a dagger, pinning the FoW to the table.
"IABSM you cur."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 10 August 2012, 07:29:07 PM
Unpacks M41A pulse rifle ...

cocks  .44 Magnus (he most Powerful handgun in the world)

"Go ahead you armypainters, make my day"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 07:34:59 PM
Before I was just amused............. Now I'm ANGRY!!!!  :d =) :d :d 8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 August 2012, 07:35:50 PM
Pulls dagger out of table.....At third attempt.

"Someone will have to explain these rules then....
Can I put the gun down now, it's getting heavy ?"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 07:41:17 PM
I've got the dice,  "Are you feeling lucky, punk?  Well, are you?"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 10 August 2012, 07:42:39 PM
This is starting to sound like my previous employment in Manchester...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 10 August 2012, 07:51:45 PM
Quote from: Leon on 10 August 2012, 07:42:39 PM
This is starting to sound like my previous employment in Manchester...

Manchester...says it all  8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 10 August 2012, 08:14:19 PM
Starts second drink, nods knowingly at the bouncers, then places bets with the barman...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Luddite on 10 August 2012, 08:35:42 PM
Quiet in here tonight...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 August 2012, 08:55:07 PM
What time's the quiz starting ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 08:57:51 PM
And that's when it all kicked off!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 10 August 2012, 09:17:33 PM
Barmaid leans over the car to respectable couple who have just entered: "Brawling or non-brawling sir and madam?"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 09:20:41 PM
And exactly whose car did she lean over?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 10 August 2012, 09:25:50 PM
Quote from: Techno on 10 August 2012, 08:55:07 PM
What time's the quiz starting ?

When Cardinal Fang finally shows up

Maybe thats the Car that the barmaid is leaning over and thats why the quiz hasnt started yet
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 10 August 2012, 09:32:06 PM
Dashed predictive text, it was meant to be bar not car!
But he she scratches mine again...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 August 2012, 09:33:33 PM
Who's round is it ?

While we wait then... try this one.......

Make a stack of 9 two pence pieces...

Now.....Lay one of each of the coins 'of the realm' flat on the table in front of the stack.
So you should have  a 1p, 2p, 5p, 10p, 20p, 50p, £1 and a £2 piece.....FLAT on the table.

Now....Without standing any of the 'flat' coins up.

Which coin, do you reckon, comes exactly to the same height (as near as dammit) as the stack of 2p's ?

Now check it, and see which coin really IS the same height.
Bet most of you get it wrong....unless you've seen it before. ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 10 August 2012, 09:37:03 PM
Quote from: Techno on 10 August 2012, 09:33:33 PM
Who's round is it ?

Make a stack of 9 two pence pieces...


Oh to be rich...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 10 August 2012, 09:40:55 PM
Unless you've already had ten pints,     Who cares? They are all worth a peanut (it used to be peanuts, but inflation........).
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 August 2012, 10:35:28 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 10 August 2012, 09:37:03 PM
Oh to be rich...

No, no, no....we all have to club together to do this...Come on...Change on the table.
Are we going for a curry after this ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Luddite on 10 August 2012, 10:55:18 PM
A hundred pints of lager and four popadoms?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 10 August 2012, 10:55:41 PM
I come out to the pub for a nice quite pint and I find the place full of bloody northeners  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Luddite on 10 August 2012, 10:58:23 PM
Not me, oim frum Ampshurr loike.

True i'm exiled to the cold northern barrens, but my heart still belongs to the chalk.

Pine of pale ale Tolworth old chap?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 10 August 2012, 11:37:27 PM
What sort of a brawl is this? I step out for a mere three and a half hours and the place quietens down. I've been in noisier libraries. Stand up and take your medicine - he said, producing a bottle-opener.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 10 August 2012, 11:38:26 PM
Watch out Luddite he's tooled up!!!!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 10 August 2012, 11:39:23 PM
Feck me - you lot started early  ;)

Cider me up, landlord... :D

Time for this...(NSFW...language...)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 10 August 2012, 11:44:22 PM
Goddam nursery squabble.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 10 August 2012, 11:46:05 PM
You want a baby cham to go with your bottle opener then  :-*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 11 August 2012, 12:48:45 AM
Okay, there's a tenner for the whip, a pony for any damage, and 37p for any reconstructive surgery you lot might need.  Now, who's next.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 11 August 2012, 06:45:50 AM
Wakes up......
Crawls from under table, bleary eyed.....Sees everybody slumped, fast asleep in their chairs.
Removes nice fat permanent marker from behind the bar, and ever so carefully starts drawing twirly mustaches on those that haven't got one already.
Wipes fingerprints from permanent marker.....Places permanent marker in Last Hussar's hand and leaves  :d....Silently closing the door behind him.

Same time next week chaps ?
Cheers - Phil.


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 11 August 2012, 12:32:53 PM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 10 August 2012, 11:38:26 PM
Watch out Luddite he's tooled up!!!!!!

Yeah, I've got a spanner - show me the works.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 11 August 2012, 02:18:06 PM
Okay, signs of a good night, I've come back with more cash than I started the night with, everyone check your wallets!   :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 11 August 2012, 02:43:25 PM
*storms in like a blind bull*

YEAAARGHHHHH !!!

Um.. where's the fight? Where did everybody go?  :(

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 11 August 2012, 02:49:49 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 11 August 2012, 02:18:06 PM
Okay, signs of a good night, I've come back with more cash than I started the night with, everyone check your wallets!   :-\
I thought we were discussing this on another thread ?

Where are the two tenners I gave you to get the drinks in, while half of the party had gone for a pee ?
(Good move, I thought !)
And where did you keep disappearing to Lemmey ? ;D ;D

Quote from: Aart Brouwer on 11 August 2012, 02:43:25 PM
*storms in like a blind bull*
YEAAARGHHHHH !!!
Um.. where's the fight? Where did everybody go?  :(

Aart !...We told you what time we were meeting !
Where on Earth did you get to ?
Bad ferry crossing ?

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 11 August 2012, 03:51:11 PM
I'm saying it twice coz I'm still seeing everything in double still!
I'm saying it twice coz I'm still seeing everything in double still!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 11 August 2012, 04:57:36 PM
I got home to find I have a house full of Poles!

Looks like tonight might get interesting :-\

And why do I have marker pen all over my 'tash?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 11 August 2012, 05:46:37 PM
[Draws himself a monocle]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fred. on 11 August 2012, 06:48:12 PM
Blimey , a chap plays a wargame on Friday night, and you lot kick off like a bad spaghetti western...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fred. on 11 August 2012, 06:49:04 PM
I'm quite impressed that Phil has a Bren though.  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 11 August 2012, 08:57:07 PM
Quote from: fred  12df on 11 August 2012, 06:49:04 PM
I'm quite impressed that Phil has a Bren though.  :o
Don't be Fred !
It's not what you know.....(altogether now)....It's who you know.
I think I can probably get a light sabre for next week, if M fancies his chances...  ;)

Now...For next Friday's fun and games...Since everyone was too mean to empty their pockets for 2p pieces.
Would everyone bring along an ordinary box of matches ?...Not Swann Vestas, or big boxes of Cook's matches.

Cheers - Phil. (And I'll bring along some solvent to get rid of the extra mustaches....But it'll cost you a pint...Each !)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 11 August 2012, 09:26:45 PM
Right - that was just a warmup right? After all...



(I can't stand Elton John)  m/ <) m/
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 11 August 2012, 09:28:53 PM
You look like Elton John!

(Be thankful I didn't go with my first instinct, which was "Do you kneel for him?")
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 11 August 2012, 09:42:33 PM
 X_X
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 11 August 2012, 10:56:35 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 11 August 2012, 09:28:53 PM
You look like Elton John!

Come here & say that...reaches for lightsabre...

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 11 August 2012, 11:14:46 PM
Watch it - don't ignite your wig.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 11 August 2012, 11:17:51 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 11 August 2012, 11:14:46 PM
Watch it - don't ignite your wig.

Phil - lay down some suppression with that Bren...I'm going in  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 11 August 2012, 11:19:56 PM
All I can see in my minds eye, after all the posturing...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Nosher on 11 August 2012, 11:36:50 PM
Dont mess with me...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Nosher on 11 August 2012, 11:37:35 PM
You and whose army?

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Luddite on 12 August 2012, 01:13:28 AM
This army

(http://www.badreputation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Sucker-Punch-Movie.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 August 2012, 12:49:53 PM
Quote from: nikharwood on 11 August 2012, 11:17:51 PM
Phil - lay down some suppression with that Bren...I'm going in  :d

EEEEEK !!
Who do I target first ??

What's Luddite's 'This army' from ?
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 12 August 2012, 01:00:57 PM
Ermmmmm  Bren Gun....Luddite?

Shouldnt you be using a bow and arrow or something to keep in character?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 August 2012, 03:31:31 PM
Nik....Nik !..Where have they all gone ?....
I don't like it.....It's too quiet.
:-S

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 12 August 2012, 03:33:03 PM
Quote from: Techno on 12 August 2012, 03:31:31 PM
Nik....Nik !..Where have they all gone ?....
I don't like it.....It's too quiet.
:-S



Same here...

Let's split up, ok?  :P

Cheers,
Aart
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 12 August 2012, 03:36:36 PM
We need to stick together, strength in numbers and all that... You guys keep an eye on the door, I'm gonna go restock the bar.   :D

Quote from: Techno on 12 August 2012, 12:49:53 PM
What's Luddite's 'This army' from ?
Cheers - Phil.

Sucker Punch: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0978764/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0978764/)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 12 August 2012, 04:27:13 PM
Quote from: Aart Brouwer on 12 August 2012, 03:33:03 PM
Same here...

Let's split up, ok?  :P

Cheers,
Aart

But I thought you loved me...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 August 2012, 04:38:09 PM
When all this is over me and the Mrs are going to retire to a little place we know...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 August 2012, 05:17:09 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 12 August 2012, 04:27:13 PM
But I thought you loved me...

That's all we need....Someone having an emotional crisis when we've got a battle to fight !
I think we should all stay put until Captain Nik gets back.
You.....You don't think...........Something's happened ? :-S

Quote from: Leon on 12 August 2012, 03:36:36 PM
Sucker Punch: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0978764/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0978764/)

Thanks Leon !!
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 12 August 2012, 07:04:42 PM
Quote from: Techno on 12 August 2012, 05:17:09 PM
That's all we need....Someone having an emotional crisis when we've got a battle to fight !
I think we should all stay put until Captain Nik gets back.

Well, I'm not gonna wait here. We'd be sitting ducks!

Cheers,
Aart
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 12 August 2012, 07:26:24 PM
(http://www.myfreewallpapers.net/fantasy/wallpapers/bar-fight.jpg)

(http://thedelvers.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/AgeofConanBarFight.jpg)

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ldPKjV8-KcQ/UCRaeanCN5I/AAAAAAAAAbE/JnxU9m4dJz4/s1600/Bar-Fight.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 12 August 2012, 07:45:36 PM
First rule of a Jedi Knight - Never go back to a bar where you've shown them your light sabre!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 12 August 2012, 07:49:05 PM
 Nik, I recognise that pair of legs on the table - Leon ,   LEON!   What did I tell you about taking your trousers off in a brawl????
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 12 August 2012, 08:27:26 PM
Ultimate barfight:

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 August 2012, 08:49:08 PM
Quote from: Aart Brouwer on 12 August 2012, 07:04:42 PM
Well, I'm not gonna wait here. We'd be sitting ducks! :
Cheers,
Aart
:o :o :o
Oh..sorry....You said SITTING......Thought that was an odd expression ! ;)
No...I'm staying here....I'm not lugging this damn gun around the countryside any more !
On the other hand....I could join Lemmey in the bar and keep the car park covered.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 12 August 2012, 09:11:53 PM
Jumps out from behind overturned table with SMG in each hand
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Luddite on 12 August 2012, 09:14:16 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 12 August 2012, 01:00:57 PM
Ermmmmm  Bren Gun....Luddite?

Shouldnt you be using a bow and arrow or something to keep in character?

Whatever gets the job done old boy.

And indeed the marvellous Bren will keep more people employed in its manufacture, so that'll please General Lud.   :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 August 2012, 11:19:39 PM
Hic, wazza bar fight, I'sh workin' my waysh backsh along hic, thesh opticsh!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 13 August 2012, 07:14:23 AM
Quote from: Techno on 12 August 2012, 08:49:08 PM
On the other hand....I could join Lemmey in the bar and keep the car park covered.
OK, meanwhile I'll head them off at the pass!

Cheers,
Aart
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 13 August 2012, 08:12:17 AM
I think I've got lost. :-[
Some rotten bogger has taken down all the signposts. ~X(
What was the name of the pub we were in to start with ? :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 13 August 2012, 08:59:06 AM
Can you still find your pint? If so your not that lost.  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 14 August 2012, 01:25:27 PM
Thought I'd drop in for a lunchtime pint, seems empty in here,

Who left that sodding Bren lying there?!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 August 2012, 02:27:28 PM
We're out in the beer garden enjoying the sunshine. come out and find us!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 14 August 2012, 03:09:42 PM
You mean 'hiding' in the beer garden!

Oh yeh I get the message!

*meanwhile as no one is in the bar sounds of charity box being 'checked' can be heard*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 August 2012, 03:12:41 PM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 14 August 2012, 01:25:27 PM
Thought I'd drop in for a lunchtime pint, seems empty in here,

Who left that sodding Bren lying there?!

Ooooh...Ta !.....Just pop it behind the bar....I'll pick it up in a minute....I wondered where it had gone. ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 14 August 2012, 05:40:28 PM
Time for a post work pint or 3  8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 August 2012, 07:36:40 PM
Its Friday! Anyone about!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 17 August 2012, 08:05:43 PM
SOCK!!  :ar!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 17 August 2012, 08:07:03 PM
Yeah that's a sock on your head, alright. Weirdo.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 August 2012, 08:10:19 PM
Evening all! Mine's a double bloody Mary, heavy on the Tabasco, easy on the celery and two pairs of knuckle dusters please.
SLURP!
THWACK!
That's more like it! :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 17 August 2012, 08:52:19 PM
A snakebite and blackcurrant with a shot of pernod please :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 17 August 2012, 09:06:07 PM
Celery? Blackcurrent??

Them's fighting words !!  :-w

Cheers,
Aart

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 August 2012, 09:12:31 PM
A man who does not appreciative celery in his bloody Mary is neither an Englishman nor a gentleman!
Although celery salt is permissable in dire emergency!
Have at you sir!
*Sound of knuckles cracking*






At this point I'd like to make sure any reader understands that all above was said in jest, Aart is of course a gentleman, even if his dislike of celery means he should be taken outside and thrashed with it until he understands it's integral role in a decent bloody Mary!  :) ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 17 August 2012, 10:02:06 PM
OUCH.

Who left the Bren gun there - I've just tripped over it.

Aart can't help being foriegn.  I'll hold your coat so you can educate him.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 August 2012, 10:13:20 PM
Ooops sorry....
I've forgotten something.
I'll just pop home and get it !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 August 2012, 10:18:34 PM
Whatever you do....
Don't trip over this if I leave it switched on !
Somebody shrink this s*dding pic down for me PER-LEASE !

(http://i1118.photobucket.com/albums/k611/technodestructorman/Lightsabre1.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 17 August 2012, 10:39:14 PM
Quote from: Techno on 17 August 2012, 10:18:34 PM
Somebody shrink this s*dding pic down for me PER-LEASE !

There you go  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 August 2012, 10:41:46 PM
Thanks Nik !! :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 17 August 2012, 11:15:19 PM
May Nik's force be with you  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 17 August 2012, 11:18:53 PM
So, Nik can shrink another man's weapon...

:o :o :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 17 August 2012, 11:27:38 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 17 August 2012, 11:18:53 PM
So, Nik can shrink another man's weapon...

:o :o :o

:D ;D @ the connotation
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 18 August 2012, 12:00:42 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 17 August 2012, 11:18:53 PM
So, Nik can shrink another man's weapon...

:o :o :o
With just one look, apparently  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 August 2012, 12:12:52 AM
Y'know - I'm pretty pleased about that too... :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 18 August 2012, 12:59:52 AM
Quote from: Sandinista on 17 August 2012, 08:52:19 PM
A snakebite and blackcurrant...

Bah, you've been gone from Boro too long!  That's a Diesel now...  :D
Quote from: Techno on 17 August 2012, 10:18:34 PM
Whatever you do....
Don't trip over this if I leave it switched on !

How many weeks can Techno keep getting his weapon out without us having to resort to censorship...

:-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 18 August 2012, 02:02:39 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 17 August 2012, 11:18:53 PM
So, Nik can shrink another man's weapon...

:o :o :o
I need to ask his help - get mine down to a less intimidating size! (I love being African, I tell you)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 07:45:06 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 17 August 2012, 09:12:31 PM
A man who does not appreciative celery in his bloody Mary is neither an Englishman nor a gentleman!
Although celery salt is permissable in dire emergency!
Have at you sir!
*Sound of knuckles cracking*






At this point I'd like to make sure any reader understands that all above was said in jest, Aart is of course a gentleman, even if his dislike of celery means he should be taken outside and thrashed with it until he understands it's integral role in a decent bloody Mary!  :) ;)

At this point I'd like to reassure te readers that Aart is indeed a gentleman, that his footman has taken Mad Lemmey outside and given him a proper whipping, and that said Lemmey is now at home tending to his torn breeches and sore ego. :>

Cheers,
Aart
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 August 2012, 08:56:24 AM
Will your footman leave my butler alone!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 08:58:29 AM
Quote from: nikharwood on 18 August 2012, 12:12:52 AM
Y'know - I'm pretty pleased about that too... :)

Since when is the Nikster jealous of another man's weapon?

Was happenin, bro?  8)

Cheers,
Aart

P.S. *whacks Techno unconscious*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 09:01:37 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 18 August 2012, 08:56:24 AM
Will your footman leave my butler alone!  ;)

Only if your butler leaves my sheep alone!  [-(  :P

Cheers,
Aart
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 August 2012, 09:04:24 AM
When you stop rustling my cattle...  <)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 August 2012, 09:21:11 AM
Quote from: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 08:58:29 AM
Since when is the Nikster jealous of another man's weapon?

Was happenin, bro?  8)


No, no, no...you misunderstand me: I am happy that the effect I am having is that of shrinking another man's weapon...I would be more concerned if I was somehow causing it to enlarge. That is the job of the Totty thread.

Right - who wants some? Ker-thwack to anyone still in range...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 09:52:51 AM
Quote from: nikharwood on 18 August 2012, 09:21:11 AM
No, no, no...you misunderstand me: I am happy that the effect I am having is that of shrinking another man's weapon...I would be more concerned if I was somehow causing it to enlarge. That is the job of the Totty thread.

Right - who wants some? Ker-thwack to anyone still in range...

I think we're the only ones left standing - back to back as we should.

No shrinkage here, I am happy to say. Care for a pint?  8)

Cheers,
Aart
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 August 2012, 09:54:30 AM
Cheers,
Fancy a sambuca chaser?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 09:58:14 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 18 August 2012, 09:54:30 AM
Cheers,
Fancy a sambuca chaser?

Thanks, Lemmey, but I think I'll go Dutch. I'll have a Bols Jonge Genever for a chaser. Just top up the little glass to the brim, I'll drop it into the pint, then swallow the lot in one go. And fall over, probably.  ;)

Cheers,
Aart
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 August 2012, 10:02:27 AM
That's the way - not like these young 'uns who consider dropping a shot of Jagermeister into some Red Bull adventurous.

Feckin' lightweights. Everyone knows you have to add more alcohol to other alcohol to make it betterer.  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 August 2012, 10:28:07 AM
Btw - anyone seen my kidneys. They appear to have broken off diplomatic negotiations with the rest of my body...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 August 2012, 10:49:52 AM
Quote from: Leon on 18 August 2012, 12:59:52 AM
How many weeks can Techno keep getting his weapon out without us having to resort to censorship...
:-\

I'll tell you now....I will not be posing with with my log splitting chopper next week !
Quote from: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 08:58:29 AM
Aart

P.S. *whacks Techno unconscious*

I was wondering where the lump on my cranium had come from....You're dog meat Pal  >:(

Quote from: FierceKitty on 18 August 2012, 02:02:39 AM
I need to ask his help - get mine down to a less intimidating size! (I love being African, I tell you)

If you'd like to make an appointment with my receptionist FK. ;)
I'd better buy some more haemostats..... Only got the one.....Doesn't sound like that'll be enough !

Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 18 August 2012, 11:18:10 AM
#Grabs Aart and Nik's heads in true Indiana Jones style and smacks them together.

  L-) L-) L-)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 18 August 2012, 11:20:17 AM
Sends his batman to help Techno's butlet beat up Aart's footman

Right, I'll have a double double whisky, doubled.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 August 2012, 11:38:52 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 18 August 2012, 11:20:17 AM
Sends his batman to help Techno's butlet beat up Aart's footman
Right, I'll have a double double whisky, doubled.

Damn civil of you LH.....Jeeves is getting a trifle on the doddery side nowadays....He can always do with a little assistance when it comes to dealing with 'oiks'.
He can't wield a Zimmer like he used to, but he's been a dashed faithful servant !
Here we go then....Pint of whiskey. Anything for your batman ?
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 August 2012, 12:02:21 PM
Why does this barfight remind me of this....

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 18 August 2012, 03:43:41 PM
He'll have his normal half of Mackesons, old bean.

#Dips Niks paintbrushes in PVA
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 18 August 2012, 03:51:47 PM
I sneak in as it's quiet and switch lids on peoples spray varnish and primer, then sit back with my cider and wait for the fun  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 04:21:59 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 18 August 2012, 03:51:47 PM
I sneak in as it's quiet and switch lids on peoples spray varnish and primer, then sit back with my cider and wait for the fun  :d

Sandinista, there are limits on a wargaming forum. And miniature paint spray caps are OFF LIMITS.  ~X( #-o X_X

Even as a joke!  :(

;)

Cheers,
Aart

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 18 August 2012, 04:25:05 PM
Sips cider, trying to look innocent  ^#(^
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 06:19:48 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 18 August 2012, 04:25:05 PM
Sips cider, trying to look innocent  ^#(^

We know where your Pendraken army lives...  :-w :d

Cheers,
Aart
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 18 August 2012, 06:38:28 PM
Quote from: Aart Brouwer on 18 August 2012, 06:19:48 PM
We know where your Pendraken army lives...  :-w :d

Poles are currently in an envelope with Royal Mail  :(

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 August 2012, 06:56:15 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 18 August 2012, 03:51:47 PM
I sneak in as it's quiet and switch lids on peoples spray varnish and primer, then sit back with my cider and wait for the fun  :d
I'm shocked that anyone could even consider doing such a thing !!
Which ones 'S' ?
The matt black with the varnish ?
Now THAT would be hitting below the belt ! ;) ;D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 August 2012, 07:11:02 PM
(http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc94/madlemmey/562016_273930922713102_953137357_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 August 2012, 07:32:50 PM
(http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/ece/82e/06e/resized/sean-jim-bean-meme-generator-get-stabbed-in-bar-fight-order-another-goddamn-drink-2cd30f.jpg?1308113884.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 August 2012, 07:38:29 PM
This one's for Phil...

(http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/bar-wars.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 August 2012, 07:48:04 PM
 =O =O =O =O =O =O =O =O =D>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 August 2012, 08:29:29 PM
 =O =O =O =O =O
The bar stools wouldn't cast though !! ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 18 August 2012, 10:19:58 PM
 =O =O =O =O =O =O =O

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 19 August 2012, 12:55:30 AM
Quote from: Techno on 18 August 2012, 06:56:15 PM
The matt black with the varnish ?
Now THAT would be hitting below the belt ! ;) ;D

Smiles as looking Techno's spray paints  8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 19 August 2012, 03:45:27 AM
Quote from: Sandinista on 18 August 2012, 03:51:47 PM
I sneak in as it's quiet and switch lids on peoples spray varnish and primer, then sit back with my cider and wait for the fun  :d
(hastily offers to buy Sandinista a pint of Cointreau or whatever, just in case he's ever provoked him)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 August 2012, 08:52:56 AM
Quote from: Sandinista on 19 August 2012, 12:55:30 AM
Smiles as looking Techno's spray paints  8)

Really think you'd struggle to do that 'S'. ;)
I've only got two cans of spray....And the caps and cannisters are very different sizes ! :P
Even I might spot that ! ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 19 August 2012, 10:01:20 AM
<<< Shows Techno two shovels and asks him to take his pick.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 August 2012, 01:59:55 PM
I'll pick the light sabre  ;).....You take the shovels, and we'll pay that nice Mr Sandinista a visit....
Or is he still in the bar ?
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 19 August 2012, 02:11:06 PM
Quote from: Techno on 19 August 2012, 01:59:55 PM
I'll pick the light sabre  ;).....You take the shovels, and we'll pay that nice Mr Sandinista a visit....
Or is he still in the bar ?
Cheers - Phil.

:-\ Finishes drink at bar, pops on tarleton and picks up maquahuitl...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 19 August 2012, 02:38:02 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 19 August 2012, 02:11:06 PM
:-\ Finishes drink at bar, pops on tarleton and picks up maquahuitl...
Ah, glad someone remembers the existence of that weapon.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 19 August 2012, 08:20:19 PM
Ok then. 
#Dresses as a Conquistidor
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 August 2012, 08:32:16 PM
SSo we're resorting to chemical and biological weapons then? Smallpox and dysentry chaser then?  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 August 2012, 09:31:35 PM
Would you like a twist of lemming with that sir ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 19 August 2012, 09:34:03 PM
I give you all fair warning, I have applied for nuclear release...  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 19 August 2012, 09:38:02 PM
I give you all fair warning, I have been here before, and it does not turn out well!

Disappears in a small cloud of fluorescent smoke.

Mollinary
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 19 August 2012, 09:39:11 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 19 August 2012, 09:34:03 PM
I give you all fair warning, I have applied for nuclear release...  :P

A 'H'einz bomb?

(http://www.britstore.co.uk/phpThumb.php?src=/photos/Heinz_Baked_Bean_In_Tomato_Sauce_415g.jpg&w=200&h=200)

:-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 19 August 2012, 09:50:19 PM
Quote from: Leon on 19 August 2012, 09:39:11 PM
A 'H'einz bomb?

(http://www.britstore.co.uk/phpThumb.php?src=/photos/Heinz_Baked_Bean_In_Tomato_Sauce_415g.jpg&w=200&h=200)

:-\

A toxic combination of baked beans and diet Coke. Doesn't just clear the bar but also the street and most of the postal district. :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 August 2012, 09:59:08 PM
Drat, I was planning to unleash a pack of Mentos and a bottle of diet Coke!
On baby duty tonight, but look it up on YouTube!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 19 August 2012, 10:15:57 PM
Chemicals eh?  :-\   

A game I can play :D

...orders curry and a Guiness  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 19 August 2012, 10:51:52 PM
Places a naked flame near Sandinista.

Try it and you go up first.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 August 2012, 08:01:44 AM
Quote from: Sandinista on 19 August 2012, 10:15:57 PM
Chemicals eh?  :-\   
A game I can play :D
...orders curry and a Guiness  :d
Do that, and Ill bring along our biggest lab.....
He'll out-gas you NO problem !
What's the saying...."Fight fart fire with fire ? :d :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 20 August 2012, 09:16:42 AM
Re-defines the term "fallout".  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 August 2012, 09:53:48 AM
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 21 August 2012, 08:52:51 AM
We should have hired these guys for the Olympic closing ceremony - after opening the Thames Barrier of course.  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 September 2012, 07:48:06 PM
Been too quiet on the forum today, let's stir it up!

Pours Nik a Cinzano and lemonade...

He that's not enough to restart a fight, them this place is deader than a morgue in deadwood!
:P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 September 2012, 08:11:34 PM
Do you know what really tees me off.

I log in for the first time for HOURS and HOURS....Go for the 'unread posts since your last visit'.....Check the list....Ooooh there's lots for me to look at....Then my b***ard provider kicks me off the net for no logical reason...So when I come back after logging back in.. it appears I've looked at everything.
Yeah, I know....I could go back through the list of the recent posts....But it's not the same.

I'm all grumpy now... >:( >:( >:(
I'll have a treble scotch if you're buying Lemmey ! :-*

Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 September 2012, 08:15:40 PM
Blend or malt?
;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 September 2012, 08:24:01 PM
Malt please mate !
Ta - Phil.

You know.....If we arranged a specific time....We could have a quiz....First person in to answer the question gets a point.
Give it a quick try now Lemmey if you're still there....Just to see if it could work.

Errm....Something really easy just to test it out....Which group originally had a hit with "Another one bites the dust."

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 September 2012, 08:35:38 PM
Written by Queen (got that one main songsmith wrongwrongwrong - John Deacon - gah!  X_X)!

My turn, name the only neutral country invaded and occupied by the Allies in WWII
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 September 2012, 08:43:58 PM
I'll let you have Queen.
But his name is John Deacon. ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 September 2012, 08:47:20 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 September 2012, 08:35:38 PM
My turn, name the only neutral country invaded and occupied by the Allies in WWII

Iceland ?....I had to look that up so I don't know whether that's right !
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 September 2012, 08:48:39 PM
Yup, your turn...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 September 2012, 08:59:00 PM
Well....This could work if enough people were logged in at the right time.
I was thinking of questions that could be relatively straightforward....Those that didn't have to look up the answers would be much faster than cheats like me who did a quick surf to get the answer to your question.

OK....Which is the fastest living mammal ?
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 September 2012, 09:05:03 PM
Usane Bolt re-entering the Earth's atmosphere!
Cheetah.

technically we are all moving at 90000 miles an hour round the sun...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 September 2012, 09:10:37 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D
Yup, of course...
Ah well....If a few folk fancy an experimental quiz next week...perhaps we could have a go....If people think it would be a bit of fun ??
Cheers - Phil.....(Logging off now.  ;))
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 29 September 2012, 11:55:14 PM
"Blend or malt?"

well then, if you're in the chair it will be a 16 year old Lagavulin  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 30 September 2012, 12:16:11 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 September 2012, 07:48:06 PM
Pours Nik a Cinzano and lemonade...

I'll drink Bacardi + Cinzano: loads of ice & lime...you can keep the lemonade though  ;)

Quote from: Sandinista on 29 September 2012, 11:55:14 PM
"Blend or malt?"

well then, if you're in the chair it will be a 16 year old Lagavulin  :D


I'll have this - thanks muchly  :d

http://www.thewhiskyexchange.com/selection/ardbeg_1974_double_barrel_whisky.aspx


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 30 September 2012, 10:08:27 AM
Ten grand for a couple of bottles of firewater? Hang on, I'll just ring Roman Abramovich....  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 30 September 2012, 01:17:55 PM
Quote from: Techno on 29 September 2012, 08:47:20 PM
Iceland ?....I had to look that up so I don't know whether that's right !
Cheers - Phil.

Does that count s invaded?  Were we not protecting them?  (Not being sarcastic about the middle east - I actually believed this was the case with Iceland)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 30 September 2012, 07:56:59 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 30 September 2012, 01:17:55 PM
Does that count as invaded?  Were we not protecting them? 

That's a good point..... Goodness knows what the answer is.
Like I said above, I had to look it up anyway. ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 01 October 2012, 10:30:45 AM
Hang on - the title of this thread is Forum Barfight not Trivial Pursuits. Get yer dukes up!  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 October 2012, 12:14:45 PM
Techno and I got bored with waiting for someone to fight (cracks Hertsblue round the back of the head with a pool cue)!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 01 October 2012, 12:41:50 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 01 October 2012, 12:14:45 PM
Techno and I got bored with waiting for someone to fight (cracks Hertsblue round the back of the head with a pool cue)!

You hold him down Lemmey....and I'll give him a good slap with this herring !!
Take that, Ray !! ;).....SLAP !!!
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 02 October 2012, 09:04:39 AM
Mmmmm, slurp, got any more of them?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 02 October 2012, 11:19:20 AM
No.....The cats have eaten them all ! ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 02 October 2012, 03:05:02 PM
Pssst... Techno, you were meant to take them out the can first!  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 02 October 2012, 04:10:49 PM
Ooooops ! :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 02 October 2012, 09:27:15 PM
Right, what would every one prefer - a stick of chewing gum or a slap with a wet herring.  And I'm all out of gum
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 October 2012, 07:22:37 AM
I ate raw herring once....Is that called 'rollmop' or something like that ?
DISGUSTING !! :-& :-& :-&
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 03 October 2012, 11:06:22 AM
They're OK so long as you remember to take the wooden peg out first.  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 03 October 2012, 11:47:11 AM
Quote from: Techno on 03 October 2012, 07:22:37 AM
I ate raw herring once....Is that called 'rollmop' or something like that ?
It's only called a rollmops if pickled in vinegar, and rolled around a gherkin (or similar). Other wise, the real raw herring is a soused herring (Maatjesharing). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soused_herring
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 October 2012, 12:12:53 PM
I got to eat that when I got dragged over to Eindhoven for a games show by Target Games YEARS ago.
It was one of the Swedish guy's birthday, and his name was something like 'Herring'.....So as a a 'treat' there were these awful (to me) things to eat.
i only managed the one.

Can't remember whether if it was in vinegar or on a skewer....I just remember trying to not spit it on the hotel's carpet !

Later.....Target also gave me the opportunity to try Iranian vegetable soup.
Wandering around London after a meeting at about 2 in the morning, the others in the group wanted something else to drink...The only place we could find that was still open was the aforesaid Iranian restaurant.
So....We had to order something to eat to let us have a drink.
I thought vegetable soup would be harmless...and expected it to taste something like Heinz veggy soup.....WRONG !!
I managed one mouthful.
It was like what I would imagine cat puke would taste like.
The memory has made me go quite cold !!
I might have to go and have a lie down now !

Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 03 October 2012, 12:31:19 PM
Iranian soup, eh? Try this then! (Empties spittoon over Techno's head).
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 October 2012, 04:03:50 PM
Oooops....Ray...Big mistake.....You just emptied the spittoon over Seething Mad Arthur.
I'm over here, in the corner, talking to Lemmey......Look..... :-h
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 03 October 2012, 04:08:30 PM
Slice of birthday cake anyone?  <:-P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 October 2012, 10:02:36 AM
Quote from: Techno on 03 October 2012, 04:03:50 PM
Oooops....Ray...Big mistake.....You just emptied the spittoon over Seething Mad Arthur.
I'm over here, in the corner, talking to Lemmey......Look..... :-h


Not Seething Mad Arthur the sociapathic axe-murderer who tears the heads off Rottweilers, turns over horse-troughs and once threw a combine-harvester into the river?

Never heard of him.  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 17 October 2012, 07:20:30 PM
Any relation to Slightly Irritated Cyril, who once tickled Totally Catatonic Terry?   It's still the talk of Cricklewood!

Mildly Morose Mollinary
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 October 2012, 07:31:30 PM
That's the one. Definitely the same bloke.


Who was he again?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 October 2012, 09:09:46 AM
I don't care. I have my old equaliser. (Raises heavily modified gas-stove)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 18 October 2012, 09:21:13 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 18 October 2012, 09:09:46 AM
(Raises heavily modified gas-stove)

And gets hernia........ :D

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 October 2012, 09:23:31 AM
Nah, she turned me down flat.  :(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 18 October 2012, 09:56:38 AM
Would that be Hernia, sister of Incontinentia, and wife of Ludicrus Sextus, of Pompeii (or somewhere Up that way)?

Mollinary
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 October 2012, 01:26:13 PM
Yet more historical information I was previously unaware of.
The stuff I learn here! ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ben Waterhouse on 07 November 2012, 02:16:32 PM
Quote from: mollinary on 18 October 2012, 09:56:38 AM
Would that be Hernia, sister of Incontinentia, and wife of Ludicrus Sextus, of Pompeii (or somewhere Up that way)?

Mollinary

Incontinentia Buttocks?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 07 November 2012, 06:34:57 PM
No, wasn't she the wife of Biggus Dickus, the man who w...s higher than any man in Wome?    :-\ ;)

Mollinary
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 08 November 2012, 08:28:18 AM
No, she was the barmaid at the Ruptured Tortoise.  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 08 November 2012, 09:30:36 AM
That one is in Reading int it ?

ianS  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 08 November 2012, 10:43:32 AM
Actually on the outskirts of Lymping-cum-Finnish.  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 08 November 2012, 12:52:37 PM
Of course - the one in Reading is "The Purple Turtle"  ;)

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Vulpine on 15 December 2012, 11:09:15 PM
(I think I have the idea on this?)

Vulpine kicks the doors open and strides in. The patrons are interupted and look at the new guy. He looks back at them...

"So..." Vulpine opens his gob, "is this the only gender reassignment bar in town..?" he pauses "or is there a better one were they look like men!" 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 December 2012, 11:34:28 PM
Don't know, ask your wife, he'S a regular there...



Oh, and the screwdriver is by the door frame, put it back on the hinges as you leave.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Vulpine on 16 December 2012, 12:33:23 AM
I would tell her you said that Lemmey, but she dosnt like me telling tales about her son!

"Thanks for the tip," Vulpine grabs Screwdriver and throws it at Lemmey!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 December 2012, 09:27:01 AM
TIf you want useful tools, try the nail gun under the bar for fixing the tables, to your legs!

Screwdriver removed from wall, screwdriver ordered from the bar, v&o, lovely!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Vulpine on 16 December 2012, 10:27:25 AM
If I want unusefull tools there's a bar full of them here!

Vulpine sticks chest out!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 16 December 2012, 08:39:33 PM
Quote from: Vulpine on 16 December 2012, 10:27:25 AM
Vulpine sticks chest out!

...and gets a swift kick in the knackers from behind as Harwood walks in through the broken door.

"Whisky please landlord - single malt, please - none of that blended rubbish."

:)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 December 2012, 08:41:25 PM
Pass him the bottle, put it on my tab!

That way we won't feel guilty when he smashes it over someone's head!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 16 December 2012, 09:17:12 PM
Why's Vulpine lying on the floor boys ? :-\
Evening Lemmey, Evnin' Nik....Pass the bottle then.....
(Tsk !.....He hasn't left much, has he ?) :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 December 2012, 09:57:12 PM
 =O =O =O =O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Vulpine on 16 December 2012, 09:59:32 PM
Vulpine stands, sheepishly, holding one of the broken doors... "I thought I better pick this up, that's all"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 16 December 2012, 10:18:30 PM
That's all you're going to pick up round here mate walking like that  ;)

...if you're lucky, we'll leave Safety Sal for you - once we've taken all the Top Totty...

:d

Oh - and best get another bottle of the good stuff, now that Techno's landed - stick this one on my tab - mad lemmey was kind enough for the last one  8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 17 December 2012, 09:32:23 AM
Nah, make it paint-stripper - he won't notice the difference.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 December 2012, 12:18:07 PM
Oh thanks Ray.....But I'll stick to the scotch ! ;)
Can someone fetch one of Ray's 'specials'.....I'll get that one. :d :d :d
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Nosher on 17 December 2012, 04:50:17 PM
"Make mine a Spiced Morgan's on ice." says the latecomer.  :ar!

"And the TMP'er I brought along from the office christmas party will have a babycham...and a taxi!"

L-)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 December 2012, 08:25:49 AM
What's going on? I go to the bog for five minutes, come back and everyone's chatting about cocktails and the Costa Blanca. The place has gone soft. Hand me that chair-leg.....  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 January 2013, 12:45:17 AM
Fecking lightweights...all gone to bed, have we ladies?

(downs lager, moves towards the bottle of the good stuff, with intent)

:d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 18 January 2013, 12:58:49 AM
I only got in from work an hour ago, so I'm concentrating on eating before drinking.  Have we got any crisps left behind the bar?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 January 2013, 01:06:25 AM
No mate - sorry...but you could ask for that packet of dry roasted peanuts that's top-left on the card - in the hope that you buying it will reveal a bit more of the totty underneath  ;)

(http://www.snackmix.co.uk/images-MAIN/crisps-nuts/big-d/chilli-peanuts.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 January 2013, 08:29:56 AM
Listen, I've spent ages renovationg the place, don't trash it too soon!

Do you like the new water feature (as I hold your head under it).
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 January 2013, 08:45:36 AM
The only water-feature in this place is in the loo....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 January 2013, 08:57:24 AM
Oh is THAT what it's for...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 January 2013, 08:58:53 AM
Other than what's in the beer.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 January 2013, 10:13:53 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 18 January 2013, 05:54:35 PM
Sneaks in and puts Exlaxs in whisky and settles down near bar with warming mulled wine.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 January 2013, 06:05:31 PM
The only reason it's warming is because Techno has set fire to your chair!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 January 2013, 07:00:44 PM
I never ! :o
Some big boys came in and did that, and then ran away.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 January 2013, 07:09:44 PM
That's your excuse, but explain the scorch marks...

No, actually, don't!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 January 2013, 09:21:08 PM
What....The ones from the time I engulfed myself in a petrol fireball ?
Definitely my crowning glory in being Mr Accident-Prone. :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[

Cheers - Anne Idiot ('Cos the above's true.)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 January 2013, 09:42:55 PM
ooops! sorry  :o :( :) :D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 January 2013, 06:57:10 AM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

There wasn't any damage done Lemmey....Which was very fortunate..
I did something particularly stupid !
Just the smell of singed hair and eyebrows.....And my better half shouting "What the hell was that," when she heard a loud " WHOOMPH" as the petrol ignited.
Would have made a brilliant photo !  :)

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Matt J on 19 January 2013, 09:30:52 AM
done that myself techno. Bonfire in garden picked up the petrol instead of the diesel  #-o had shorts on so instant imac effect.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 19 January 2013, 10:38:21 AM
My father-in-law removed the petrol pump from his car, forgot he'd done it and tried to start the engine. All our wedding photos show him with his bandaged hands behind his back.  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2013, 10:55:03 AM
Sometimes I wonder how the human race ever got off the Serengeti!
  Then I realize we didn't leave, the other animals threw us out in embarrassment!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 02 March 2013, 06:58:14 PM
C'mon then y'feckers - 'bout time we had another rumble...

"Get about as oiled as a diesel train
Gonna set this town alight"


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 02 March 2013, 07:40:14 PM
What ?......You want me to have another bonfire and blow myself up again ?
Pass the scotch Nik.......NOT TOO CLOSE TO THE FLAMES !!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 02 March 2013, 07:55:31 PM
Well, they do call it fire-water.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 02 March 2013, 08:31:11 PM
Have they noticed that they've been drinking watered down cold tea for months?
Oh, don't drink the water either...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 02 March 2013, 08:54:40 PM


here we go then  8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 02 March 2013, 09:19:33 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 02 March 2013, 08:31:11 PM
Oh, don't drink the water either...

It's spelled ETHER will.....Not either  ;) Sheesh !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 02 March 2013, 11:57:58 PM
[Picks up the baseball bat called 'Piecemaker']

C'mon then!  Any Gooners in?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 May 2013, 07:23:14 PM
How to restart the bar fight:

I REALLY enjoyed my day off today, I love half term! :D

Ducks behind two foot of battleship steel armour...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 28 May 2013, 07:54:44 PM
Hah !!

I didn't even get yesterday off !....Holidays/days off are things that happen to other people....(Excluding that nice Mr Leon, who appears to take even less time off than I do.)
Isn't it time bank holidays were banned ? (Where's the little emoticon that shows someone trying to stir things even more)  :P

What are you drinking Will ?.....A meercat surprise ?.....(I'm on MkIII now.. ~X()
Cheers - Phil.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 28 May 2013, 08:37:44 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 28 May 2013, 07:23:14 PM
I REALLY enjoyed my day off today, I love half term! :D

Bah, pesky teachers...!  :P

I've got quite a few teacher friends, and they all get very defensive when anyone mentions how much holiday time they get, but then as soon as it gets to July, they're straight on Facebook with "Looking forward to 6 weeks off work...!"

:D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 May 2013, 08:40:33 PM
Thirteen weeks unpaid a year!

How are the meerkats?
He says from behind his adamantine shield!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 05 June 2013, 09:51:02 PM
<starts handing out the pool cues>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 05 June 2013, 09:53:36 PM
Saw off Pool cues?  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 06 June 2013, 09:22:03 AM
You're not a Sun reader by any chance? You've sawn off the wrong end!  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 06 June 2013, 10:01:09 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 28 May 2013, 08:40:33 PM
How are the meerkats?

Well....The first two must be in landfill by now....via the circular file....
Mk III looks slightly more promising. :)
Can't believe how difficult it's been to get the proportions half decent.
I thought a wee meercat would be a piece of widdle....
Hey Ho !! ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 06 June 2013, 10:11:55 AM
A pox on your meercats, sir! Are they any good for stewing, with a nice drop of Chianti?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 06 June 2013, 12:08:38 PM
How do you 'do' Hannibal Lector's "Phfff...Phff...Phff."
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 06 June 2013, 12:54:51 PM
Meerkats - not good for stew, but excellent kebab, which is why none north of Sahara

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 02 August 2013, 07:34:38 PM
Too humid to fight.
Ice cream anyone?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 03 August 2013, 10:07:25 AM
Are you buying, Lemmey?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 03 August 2013, 10:11:32 AM
Yeah, but no Magnums!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 03 August 2013, 11:13:58 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 02 August 2013, 07:34:38 PM
Too humid to fight.
Ice cream anyone?

Nah...surely not:



Mine's the blonde  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 03 August 2013, 11:35:23 AM
That's really good, once you mute it.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 03 August 2013, 11:39:30 AM
Dark haired female is pretty tasty.....

so  is the ice-cream.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 September 2013, 10:45:13 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 03 August 2013, 11:39:30 AM
Dark haired female is pretty tasty.....


You looking at my dark haired female...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 21 September 2013, 11:38:35 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 21 September 2013, 10:45:13 PM
You looking at my dark haired female...

Oi, that's my little sister
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 September 2013, 08:01:02 AM
Quote from: Sandinista on 21 September 2013, 11:38:35 PM
Oi, that's my little sister

Sorry...thought it was your nan...easy to mix em up...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: howayman on 22 September 2013, 08:50:56 AM
You,re all wrong its me. ;)



Bet you puked the ice cream !   :d

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Albie Bach on 22 September 2013, 01:12:54 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 21 September 2013, 11:38:35 PM
Oi, that's my little sister
Quote from: get2grips on 22 September 2013, 08:01:02 AM
Sorry...thought it was your nan...easy to mix em up...
Same person
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 September 2013, 01:59:44 PM
Ouch  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 September 2013, 02:03:09 PM
Quick Techno, while they're distracted with their family tree, bottle them!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 September 2013, 03:47:53 PM
Only bottle them ? ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 September 2013, 04:11:33 PM
Look out, that guys got a knife!

Oh no, wait, it's a sculpting tool  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: howayman on 22 September 2013, 04:57:55 PM
But what a tool ! . . . and look how they wield it.  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 September 2013, 05:24:35 PM
Wait until you see what else he's got...

That's not a knife....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 22 September 2013, 05:29:48 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 22 September 2013, 05:24:35 PM
Wait until you see what else he's got...

That's not a knife....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzQkdy7cpV4  :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ__Q-_QLj4  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 September 2013, 06:04:21 PM
Quote from: sebigboss79 on 22 September 2013, 05:29:48 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzQkdy7cpV4  :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ__Q-_QLj4  ;D ;D


The guy in the second clip has a really big helmet  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 September 2013, 06:29:01 PM
http://youtu.be/EgUF_J20Bpk
:P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 September 2013, 07:33:05 PM
I don't think I dare click on those !
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 September 2013, 07:55:11 PM
Quote from: Techno on 22 September 2013, 07:33:05 PM
I don't think I dare click on those !
Cheers - Phil.

=O =O =O

Not as bad as it sounds  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 September 2013, 08:06:50 PM
Mine is from the Simpsons!  O:-)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 September 2013, 09:19:28 PM
That's all right then ! :) ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 22 September 2013, 09:52:06 PM
As if he dares uploading his helmet.  ???
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 22 September 2013, 11:40:44 PM
Drinks all round.

Put it on Just a Few Orcs tab.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 23 September 2013, 12:57:18 PM
What I could never understand was why anyone at that level of technology would bother hacking at each other with anything. Why not just shoot the guy?  =)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 23 September 2013, 01:45:12 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 23 September 2013, 12:57:18 PM
What I could never understand was why anyone at that level of technology would bother hacking at each other with anything. Why not just shoot the guy?  =)

Because Hollywood would shut down in a week...

"We meet again Obi-Wan Kinobi"
"Blam!"  "Quick everyone...into the Falcon."
Cue end credits...

"You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin Temple."
"Blam!"  "Who cares...stupid Kung-Fu guy."
Cue end credits...

"You expect me to talk?"
"No Mr Bond...I expect you to die...Blam!"
Cue end credits...

And so forth  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 23 September 2013, 01:54:53 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 23 September 2013, 01:45:12 PM
Because Hollywood would shut down in a week...


Sounds reasonable. Where do I sign?   :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 23 September 2013, 01:59:06 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 23 September 2013, 01:54:53 PM
Sounds reasonable. Where do I sign?   :d

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 23 September 2013, 02:19:04 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 23 September 2013, 12:57:18 PM
What I could never understand was why anyone at that level of technology would bother hacking at each other with anything. Why not just shoot the guy?  =)

Because given the setting of the films they would simply use their psychic powers to stop/ deflect the bullets/ plasma bolts/ whatever as they walked towards you and then cut you in half with their magic sword. Does it make sense ... in the setting of the film, yes ... outside that? ...... hmm

So, I give you a better use of a light sabre:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTc6IzEBWDY
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 23 September 2013, 06:13:58 PM
Because they are Ninja Space Wizards.  That's just plain cool.  Imagine if Memphis Belle was "Took off, flew 6 hours, bombed a farm 3 miles from the target, went home."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 23 September 2013, 06:26:55 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 23 September 2013, 06:13:58 PM
Imagine if Memphis Belle was "Took off, flew 6 hours, bombed a farm 3 miles from the target, went home."

Quite accurate according to my Grandma  >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 23 September 2013, 06:44:09 PM
To be fair I believe my Grandparents would have had the same complaint, unless you know of any strategic targets a mile north of White Hart Lane?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 23 September 2013, 06:46:14 PM
Let's ask the Pub Landlord

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8168962/The-Pub-Landlords-Germany-jokes.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8168962/The-Pub-Landlords-Germany-jokes.html)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 23 September 2013, 10:05:40 PM
As a German my reply is: 3 world cups and a pope ;) :d :d :d :d

We may have lost two world wars but you know: Three times lucky ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 23 September 2013, 11:09:52 PM
Well who HASN'T had a pope?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Adrian_IV (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_Adrian_IV)

Anyway we don't need them

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supreme_Head_of_the_Church_of_England (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supreme_Head_of_the_Church_of_England)

Yeah and she's ... oh bugger... German
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 23 September 2013, 11:24:23 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 23 September 2013, 11:09:52 PM

Yeah and she's ... oh bugger... German

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

We came we saw, we rule Britannia  =O =O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 23 September 2013, 11:25:34 PM
Right...everyone just calm down...

There...see, that's better.

Nobody mention the war...I said it once but I think I got away with it... #:-S
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 23 September 2013, 11:32:31 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 23 September 2013, 11:25:34 PM
Right...everyone just calm down...

There...see, that's better.

Nobody mention the war...I said it once but I think I got away with it... #:-S

A German with a beer is not dangerous.  ???
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 23 September 2013, 11:36:33 PM
Quote from: sebigboss79 on 23 September 2013, 11:32:31 PM
A German with a beer is not dangerous.  ???

Clearly...

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/__hFhP6JuEnM/SWdPtRqerDI/AAAAAAAAAOA/hMDpuUq8L6Q/s200/300x300_german_beer.jpg)

:D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 23 September 2013, 11:46:21 PM
Quote from: sebigboss79 on 23 September 2013, 11:32:31 PM
A German with a beer is not dangerous.  ???

Definitely in heart attack country here :)

(http://www.bsbrewing.com/blog/wp-content/beerfest_02.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 23 September 2013, 11:47:44 PM
They're with me... >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 23 September 2013, 11:48:30 PM
I saw them first, get your own!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 23 September 2013, 11:49:06 PM
The girls or the beers?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 24 September 2013, 12:04:36 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 23 September 2013, 11:48:30 PM
I saw them first, get your own!

What- All 4?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 24 September 2013, 12:07:57 AM
Absolutely all four :)

"Is anything worn under the kilt?"
"No ma'am, it's all in perfect working order!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 24 September 2013, 08:33:36 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 23 September 2013, 06:44:09 PM
To be fair I believe my Grandparents would have had the same complaint, unless you know of any strategic targets a mile north of White Hart Lane?

Bugger, how could they have missed by that margin?  ;D ;D ;D

(You pay these people to do a job and they don't even get close.... )
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 24 September 2013, 09:31:17 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 24 September 2013, 08:33:36 AM
Bugger, how could they have missed by that margin?  ;D ;D ;D

(You pay these people to do a job and they don't even get close.... )

And in the German Airforce defense: They were under orders from a drug addict and a private.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 24 September 2013, 06:07:03 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 24 September 2013, 08:33:36 AM
Bugger, how could they have missed by that margin?  ;D ;D ;D

(You pay these people to do a job and they don't even get close.... )

Yeah- nowhere near Stamford Bridge or Highbury!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 25 September 2013, 10:55:55 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 24 September 2013, 06:07:03 PM
Yeah- nowhere near Stamford Bridge or Highbury!

=O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 25 September 2013, 10:59:11 AM
Actually, Highbury isn't more than a couple of miles from White Hart Lane. The Emirates is even closer.  :d :d :d :
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sebigboss79 on 25 September 2013, 12:05:55 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 25 September 2013, 10:59:11 AM
Actually, Highbury isn't more than a couple of miles from White Hart Lane. The Emirates is even closer.  :d :d :d :

Clear case of inaccurate maps  :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 07 November 2013, 11:03:44 AM
5p for a Goldschläger

Just thought I would get a cheap shot in  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 November 2013, 11:49:12 AM
 :'(
Juju is bad! Can't drink at the moment, hate being sober in a bar when I'm not working in it!
Makes me want to smash something, any volunteers?  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 07 November 2013, 04:11:47 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 07 November 2013, 11:49:12 AM
:'(
Juju is bad! Can't drink at the moment, hate being sober in a bar when I'm not working in it!
Makes me want to smash something, any volunteers?  :d

Why don't you just get behind the bar? Might buck the service up. (I did say "buck").
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 November 2013, 04:29:47 PM
Oh alright then...
Form an orderly queue, no shoving...

You, in the pink shirt, yer next mate!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 07 November 2013, 04:31:28 PM
I'm not wearing a shirt.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 07 November 2013, 04:34:20 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 07 November 2013, 04:31:28 PM
I'm not wearing a shirt.

Is Bronski Beat on the jukebox as well?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 November 2013, 04:56:01 PM
Only coz you put it on repeat Fenton!  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 07 November 2013, 04:57:54 PM
And it will be till you put a shirt back on!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 November 2013, 08:59:57 PM
Quiet in here tonight, what you all doing! Watching Masterchef?

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 November 2013, 09:02:57 PM
Wrapping Xmas presents.

Yesterday I bought my Xmas present to me - from the Pendraken Soviet 1941 range. C'mon Santa Leon.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 22 November 2013, 09:10:52 PM
Just finished watching Marvel's  Agents of Shield
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 22 November 2013, 09:16:53 PM
Speak up, man!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 22 November 2013, 09:20:39 PM
Oh ok then...I was watching Marvels Agent's of shield...Its my guilty pleasure
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 22 November 2013, 11:49:19 PM
Oh dear. you're all targets  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 November 2013, 12:34:27 AM
I'll sit this one out, polish the glasses and let other take the first shot on this one!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2013, 09:09:21 AM
I have watched MAoS, but it ain't anywhere near as good as "Arrow".

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 23 November 2013, 09:42:35 AM
Quote from: fsn on 23 November 2013, 09:09:21 AM
I have watched MAoS, but it ain't anywhere near as good as "Arrow".

Arrow! That dull clunk you just heard was us hitting the bottom of the barrel. Another programme aimed squarely at retarded fourteen-year-olds.  >:( :-& :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 23 November 2013, 09:47:35 AM
Much prefer MAoS.

Pretty much anything Joss Whedon has a hand in is OK by me.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2013, 10:13:21 AM
I wonder if it's the old DC/Marvel divide?

I've always found SHIELD a boring old concept in the comics. (I do like the scientist types in MAoS.) The "Thor" and "Avengers" movies were interminably dull, "Iron Man" 2 and 3 were unnecessary, "SpiderMan" should be given a rest and surely we've had all the "Wolverine" we can stomach?

Having said that, I'm not a big fan of the recent "Batman" films, and I've never liked "Superman", so "Man of Steel" was a clunking bore. "Green Lantern" had possibilities that hopefully a sequel with Star Sapphire could explore.  I am dreading the Superman/Batman offering - Ben Affleck as Batman! Has nobody seen Daredevil? Worst casting since Val Kilmer!

Arrow is about the best Superhero offering for a long time. MAoS is watchable, but the dead hand of Stan Lee is upon it.

Joss Whedon ought to give up this Marvel heresy and go back and revisit the Serenity/Firefly universe, or at least get Dr Horrible going again.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 23 November 2013, 10:23:37 AM
I just found Arrow unutterably dull but really liked Iron Man 2 and Thor: The Dark World but each to their own.

Alas it looks as though Firefly, like "B" Troop, ain't comin' back :(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 23 November 2013, 10:58:44 AM
We need a 'Marshall Law' film

I never enjoyed either Marvel or DC comics...I grew up with 2000AD ,Action, Warlord etc
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 23 November 2013, 11:03:01 AM
Look here, if I want some mindless blabbering about the latest garbage that came out of Hollywood, I'll go and read the Totty thread!

I want to see chairs crashing on heads! Pointy sticks doing their stuff! Vast quantities of alcohol consumed!

Then again, it is still a bit early, maybe I should come back in the evening?

For now, I will only wave my hat in your general direction.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 November 2013, 11:12:51 AM
Did you wave your hat at me sir!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 23 November 2013, 11:19:04 AM
It is none of your business, I will wave my hat anyway I like, thank you very much!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2013, 11:25:48 AM
No Marvel-loving powder-puff is going to tell me that MAoS is better than DC's Green Arrow. Anyone who thinks so is no better than a Games Workshop buyer.
(Stands all John Wayne like with fists clenched on hips, and jaw thrust foward.)

But I'll stand beside any man who tips his hat at "Dredd". It's a darned shame they ain't going to make another.
(Imperceptible but pointed nod at Fenton)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 November 2013, 11:27:59 AM
Sound of OldenBUA's hat being removed, egg placed under hat and hat replaced, the squashed down.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 23 November 2013, 11:43:33 AM
Sound of carpet being yanked. Mr Lemmy (the mad) staggers backward, stumbling into fsn, who's still nodding imperceptibly at Fenton. Both fall on the floor, and end up in a most embarrassing position. Fenton looks on in dismay at this sign of infidelity.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 23 November 2013, 11:50:39 AM
*taps off ash from cigerette in 7 inch gold cigerette holder*   "Olden ...Your an absolute shower"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 23 November 2013, 12:13:08 PM
<Looks at puddle of export on floor, spilled when accidentally bumped into by Lemmy. Grips bottle by neck and smashes off the bottom on the edge of the bar>

See you Lemmy, you spilled ma beer. Pick a windae, yer leavin'!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2013, 12:33:40 PM
<FSN cowers under a table. He's not really much of a fighter.>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 November 2013, 05:08:06 PM
Outside Ithorial, if I'm not there in five minutes, start without me!

Kicks Olden, because kicking FSN would be cruelty...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 23 November 2013, 05:50:17 PM
Techno stands outside door....Greenhouse and Mole 'smoke bombs' clenched in hand.....sets them smouldering.......opens door...and rolls said items into the bar.
Takes heroically artistic pose with Bren ....and waits for everyone to emerge. :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2013, 05:58:30 PM
*cough* *cough*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 23 November 2013, 06:03:24 PM
You call this a heroic pose!

(http://i1118.photobucket.com/albums/k611/technodestructorman/IMGP3799.jpg)

=O =O =O =O =O =O =O =O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 November 2013, 06:04:31 PM
Dons gas mask and NBC suit, sets tripwire across door...

"Are you my mummy?"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2013, 07:22:48 PM
Do you often go to the pub with an NBC suit?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 23 November 2013, 07:39:36 PM
Quote from: OldenBUA on 23 November 2013, 06:03:24 PM
You call this a heroic pose!

(http://i1118.photobucket.com/albums/k611/technodestructorman/IMGP3799.jpg)

=O =O =O =O =O =O =O =O =O =O


Is Phil's pose in that  picture the one  Airfix based their WW2 figures on?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2013, 08:03:45 PM
Or is the Airfix pose ...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 November 2013, 01:01:24 AM
Quote from: fsn on 23 November 2013, 07:22:48 PM
Do you often go to the pub with an NBC suit?

You need to wear one to get past the haze of smoke from all the disgruntled smokers on the doorstep who can't come in!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 24 November 2013, 09:06:14 AM
Holding a Bren like that would result in sever burns.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 November 2013, 09:09:04 AM
I'm not posting the other photo's of me holding the damn thing  :P....Too sodding heavy for a skinny little oik like me. :-[ :-[
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 24 November 2013, 03:34:03 PM
Phil (position 2):

(http://www.miniatures.de/britain/airfix-51550-british-paratroops-01.jpg)

Airfix:

(http://i1118.photobucket.com/albums/k611/technodestructorman/IMGP3799.jpg)

[/quote]

:D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 November 2013, 05:39:26 PM
Stop picking on me !!   :P ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 November 2013, 06:11:09 PM
Confucius says "never pick on a man who has ready access to automatic weapons".

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 24 November 2013, 08:30:05 PM
Uh oh

The Past, Present and Future walk in.

Things are about to get Tense...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 November 2013, 08:45:02 PM
Quote from: Techno on 24 November 2013, 05:39:26 PM
Stop picking on me !!   :P ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.

Thats what Trotsky said
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 November 2013, 09:07:30 PM
Appalling !  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 24 November 2013, 11:24:53 PM
Quote from: fsn on 24 November 2013, 06:11:09 PM
Confucius says "never pick on a man who has ready access to automatic weapons".

No, Confucius say "Man who piss into wind get his own back"  :P :d :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 25 November 2013, 08:52:10 AM
"A wise man knows how little he knows" - Confucious really did say that.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 November 2013, 09:57:21 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 25 November 2013, 08:52:10 AM
"A wise man knows how little he knows" - Confucious really did say that.

... and according to recent research he was right, experts are aware of the gaps in their knowledge and tend to underestimate their abilities while the ignorant are blissfully unaware of the depth their ignorance and overestimate their ability.

<Breaks a chair over Hertsblue's back, after all this a brawl not a bloomin seminar> :)

<Besides, he was right .... and nobody likes a smartarse>  :P :d :d :d
 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 25 November 2013, 10:02:41 AM
Gropes in his pocket for the delicately engraved knuckleduster - it slips through a hole in the lining and breaks his foot. Ouch!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 November 2013, 10:56:44 AM
Slips a banana skin in Hertsblue's direction, just to see if it really works!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 November 2013, 12:11:03 PM
Techno practices 'heroic poses' in front of a mirror.....and gives up completely, having slipped on a carelessly discarded banana skin.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 November 2013, 12:13:35 PM
Quote from: Techno on 25 November 2013, 12:11:03 PM
Techno practices 'heroic poses' in front of a mirror.....and gives up completely, having slipped on a carelessly discarded banana skin.


Your starting to sound more like Bluebottle with every post  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 25 November 2013, 04:02:10 PM
*pushes RM executive in room, with sign hung around neck and 4 tubs of paint in each pocket*

*Sounders of sniggering as door is locked*

O:-)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 November 2013, 04:45:56 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 25 November 2013, 12:13:35 PM
Your starting to sound more like Bluebottle with every post  :D

You rotten swine....You dedded me ! ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 November 2013, 05:31:36 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 01 December 2013, 01:06:34 AM
I grew up on the goons, that humour is priceless  8) ;) :D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 01 December 2013, 01:25:37 AM
Quote from: fsn on 24 November 2013, 06:11:09 PM
Confucius says "never pick on a man who has ready access to automatic weapons".



If I have a time machine some day but only enough fuel for one trip, it'll be a toss-up between Abraham and Confucius for which I'll assassinate to negate his disastrous effect on the world. The one who turned half the world into morons running on prejudice, not logic, or the one who turned the other half into status quo-obsessed doormats.

What the hell, I'll send a competent medical man to sort out Mozart. There'll always be ideology peddlers to wreck people's brains anyway.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 December 2013, 07:10:25 AM
Or a radiation suit to Marie curie?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: howayman on 01 December 2013, 09:13:04 AM
Its not the messenger that is normally the problem, but the followers who impose their interpretation on the message.
Yeah okay there have been some nasty messengers as well ! :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 01 December 2013, 10:47:05 AM
Speaking as a member of the extreme centre, let's get this rumble back into action - and while we're at it, someone get me an ice-pack for my foot!  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 01 December 2013, 11:43:21 AM
[Stamps on Hertsblue's foot]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 December 2013, 11:46:29 AM
Now, as I've said before, in my mind, all you other forum members are attractive young ladies in bikinis.

May I therefore introduce copious amounts of baby oil to the proceedings?

All except Fierce Kitty, who is Grumpy Cat.

(https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQNHkQSGC1JgETG9MWcOAZZWdOPkLH7PMyTg5HgWkIYlalD4Lze)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 01 December 2013, 11:53:39 AM
You utter utter bastard

>:(

The image of 'Orcs' in a bikini is causing me serious psychological distress - it's bad enough seeing him dressed.

You will be hearing from my lawyers, Messrs Soo, Grabbit and Runne
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 01 December 2013, 11:58:31 AM
But that's exactly how I imagined FK.  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 December 2013, 12:07:42 PM
Aw! Hussar!

You're so cute when you're angry!

(http://battlefield-site.co.uk/female_hussar.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 December 2013, 08:57:04 PM
*bar stool applied soft end first to fsn*
Stop it, or next time it will be legs first!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 December 2013, 09:29:07 PM
*ow!*

Point taken.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 December 2013, 10:44:21 PM
No, that's next time!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 04 December 2013, 08:43:56 AM
Quote from: fsn on 01 December 2013, 11:46:29 AM
Now, as I've said before, in my mind, all you other forum members are attractive young ladies in bikinis.

May I therefore introduce copious amounts of baby oil to the proceedings?

All except Fierce Kitty, who is Grumpy Cat.

(https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQNHkQSGC1JgETG9MWcOAZZWdOPkLH7PMyTg5HgWkIYlalD4Lze)
Happy to be, but a Siamese, please.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 December 2013, 10:16:13 AM
Who's this barstool you keep applying to?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 December 2013, 10:21:31 AM
What, this one?
*twack*
If you find something that works, stick to it!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 December 2013, 10:23:06 AM
I thought you had a job behind the bar?

Ow, ow, ow!  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 December 2013, 11:48:14 AM
I can reach a long way!
Now put down the fire extinguisher before...
*Clung!*
Ohhh stars!
*Thunk!*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 December 2013, 11:49:38 AM
Fires aren't the only thing I can put out.  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 December 2013, 11:57:51 AM
Did you slip on the bananananana skin Will, or did Ray biff you on the head with the fire extinguisher.
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 December 2013, 12:47:34 PM
I say! Which one of you ruffians spilled my lime cordial?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 December 2013, 12:55:49 PM
Quote from: fsn on 04 December 2013, 12:47:34 PM
I say! Which one of you ruffians spilled my lime cordial?

There not ruffians I think you'll find there blaggards
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 04 December 2013, 01:45:36 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 04 December 2013, 12:55:49 PM
There not ruffians I think you'll find there blaggards

"They're" not "There", sirrah! Don't you know the Queen's English?

Bouncer, you boy, throw this riff-raff out!  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 December 2013, 01:51:10 PM
Quote from: fsn on 04 December 2013, 12:47:34 PM
I say! Which one of you ruffians spilled my lime cordial?

I think you'll find that's a half pint of Creme de Menthe topped up with tonic water fsn.
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 December 2013, 01:51:48 PM
That's ne'er-do-well to you Sir

And I was speaking in ye olde Elizabethan English not this modern grammar rubbish
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 December 2013, 01:55:58 PM
Medic...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 December 2013, 06:23:19 PM
Last time I was here my drink was spiked. I went home feeling very giddy and found myself acting quite improperly. Are any of you chaps here thinking of doing it again?

No?

Good job I brought my own.  

<launches overripe pear at the back of Hertsblue's head, then points at Fenton in a "he did it" attitude>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 December 2013, 06:26:28 PM
Quote from: fsn on 04 December 2013, 06:23:19 PM
Last time I was here my drink was spiked. I went home feeling very giddy and found myself acting quite improperly. Are any of you chaps here thinking of doing it again?

No?

Good job I brought my own.  

[

didnt you see the big nail in it?

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 December 2013, 06:31:02 PM
Yes. it was false and red. I assumed it was the barmaid's.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 December 2013, 06:39:36 PM
Or Mad Lemmeys'
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 December 2013, 07:20:34 PM
*mumbled from the floor*
My nails are blue, if I could stand up I'd give you a close up as I cat scratch your eyes out...
Would someone please get Fenton's boots off my face?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 December 2013, 07:33:27 PM
My delicate little tootsies wouldnt hurt a fly!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 December 2013, 07:47:24 PM
Thankfully they are not on my fly, they are on my nose! Repeatedly!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 December 2013, 07:51:58 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 04 December 2013, 07:20:34 PM
My nails are blue, if I could stand up I'd give you a close up as I cat scratch your eyes out...

I could have sworn you said you liked the sparkly green colour, Will.

Quote from: Fenton on 04 December 2013, 07:33:27 PM
My delicate little tootsies wouldnt hurt a fly!

That's not what I heard from your chiropodist !.....Now...Please put you shoes on again, before those nice HAZMAT people come back in here.
You know the trouble we had getting rid of them last time.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 December 2013, 11:24:06 AM
Uses seasonal sprig of holly to tickle Fento's feet!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 07 December 2013, 11:31:35 AM
Quote from: Techno on 04 December 2013, 07:51:58 PM
I could have sworn you said you liked the sparkly green colour, Will.

That's not what I heard from your chiropodist !.....Now...Please put you shoes on again, before those nice HAZMAT people come back in here.
You know the trouble we had getting rid of them last time.



Your so callous!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 07 December 2013, 05:59:33 PM
Coat time Steve......Quickly please....Close the door after you. ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: howayman on 07 December 2013, 06:49:37 PM
HAZMAT ! is that what you shout when playing cricket. . . .in Syria  ???
Blows rain in upon Howaymans head driving him onto the beer soaked floor.
"What was that for?" he asks innocently
The blows continue unabated. finally he screams "HOWAYMAN give it a rest"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 07 December 2013, 07:02:39 PM
Quote from: Techno on 07 December 2013, 05:59:33 PM
Coat time Steve......Quickly please....Close the door after you. ;)
Cheers - Phil.


Your REALLY callous

*shouts over shoulder on way out*  Two jokes for the price of one there give us a break...I'll be back , just you wait ..once I've had me tea...There will be no stopping me next time...The forum will hear from me again!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 07 December 2013, 07:17:22 PM
Yeah! That showed that Fenton, didn't it chaps? Now, who's for a Bacardi?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 07 December 2013, 07:21:09 PM
Quote from: fsn on 07 December 2013, 07:17:22 PM
Yeah! That showed that Fenton, didn't it chaps? Now, who's for a Bacardi?

Ok I accept your apology...*wanders back in*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 07 December 2013, 07:35:44 PM
Barkeep! A double beer for Mr Fenton!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 07 December 2013, 08:21:37 PM
Where is mine host ?
Sleeping behind  the bar again ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 07 December 2013, 08:25:24 PM
Quote from: fsn on 07 December 2013, 07:35:44 PM
Barkeep! A double beer for Mr Fenton!

Whatever size of glass will take that? Or will you run a pipeline directly to the barrel?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 07 December 2013, 08:30:39 PM
Just drill a hole in the bottom of the barrel and let Steve lie underneath it. (Hic)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 December 2013, 08:41:20 PM
Sorry, clearing up puke in the little girls room (literally), I'll just pour your drinks before I wash my hands...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 07 December 2013, 09:26:50 PM
There's a little girls' room in the Pendraken Forum Bar?



Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 December 2013, 09:43:33 PM
There are female members, paint it pink for example.
Sure she would kick all our butts too.
Sorry, daughter was ill again, not the florid and lucid answer I was planning...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 07 December 2013, 09:44:33 PM
She ok?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 07 December 2013, 09:54:15 PM
Oh, you did mean it literally.  :(

Sorry to hear that.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 December 2013, 10:21:01 PM
She's gone through about six sets of linen, has got to the throwing up nothing stage and is crashed out on our bed.
Fingers crossed, she'll sleep through mostly.
Just serve yourselves, honesty box by the bar, it's the tin in the pool of salt water, connected to the running generator over there, standing in that rubber tray. You will need to stand barefoot on that metal sheet to pug anything in, it's a bit of an awkward throw.


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 08 December 2013, 08:02:49 AM
Poor little mite. :(
Hope she makes a very speedy recovery Will.
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 December 2013, 08:57:21 AM
She slept the whole night without waking, much perkier this morning.
Right, let's have a look at the damage...

Oh...

My...

Erm...

Who tided up the glasses?
Someone restocked the bar!
Good range of real ales.
Even a lager for the girls and Nik.
Ohh, new tunes on the jukebox.
Liking the redecoration in the public bar too, nice chrome finish, not sure about the wallpaper.
Won't miss that Wild West theme...

And a new weapons rack! Wouldn't have thought of putting those in there.
*ker-klick*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 December 2013, 09:05:36 AM
That would be me! Don't you like the wallpaper? I thought the little bunches of violets would go with your eyes. Well the bruising anyway.

I've also made sure there's some sherry for the more sophisticated of us and the furniture is all that film prop stuff so that it doesn't really hurt when you get hit on the head with it ... when I get hit on the head with it.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 08 December 2013, 09:21:25 AM
Let's try it now !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 December 2013, 09:47:02 AM
*ouch* That *ow* wasn't too *ouch* successful *ouch*.

Could someone please ring for an ambulance?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 December 2013, 10:34:37 AM
To quote the young ones, "That was the prop one Vivian was meant to break over my head in scene six maaaan!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 08 December 2013, 11:48:00 AM
I've found the prop one - I've just tried to sit on it. You missed some of the ceiling, fsn!  :(   
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 08 December 2013, 11:56:31 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 08 December 2013, 11:48:00 AM
I've found the prop one - I've just tried to sit on it. You missed some of the ceiling, fsn!  :(   

*coughs* actually the prop  is the the chair beside you  :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 26 December 2013, 08:59:40 PM
So much for the season of peace and goodwill!

CHARGE!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 26 December 2013, 09:04:57 PM
Mind you don't trip over Maenoferren!  He's passed out in the aisle again!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Maenoferren on 27 December 2013, 12:03:49 AM
Moi? I was just resting my eyes... :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 December 2013, 08:14:07 AM
And you're OK with Hertsblue using you as a footstool?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Maenoferren on 27 December 2013, 11:50:42 AM
Just wait until he stands up. I have tied his shoelaces together. ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 27 December 2013, 12:25:24 PM
I shall duck out of the action by hiding behind this sheet of glass where no one shall see me because .... I will have my eyes closed!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 29 December 2013, 11:34:49 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 27 December 2013, 12:25:24 PM
I shall duck out of the action by hiding behind this sheet of glass where no one shall see me because .... I will have my eyes closed!

Ah, the Bluebottle school of tactics, I see!  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 29 December 2013, 11:41:35 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 27 December 2013, 12:25:24 PM
I shall duck out of the action by hiding behind this sheet of glass where no one shall see me because .... I will have my eyes closed!

* Brings out photograph of escape tunnel* You can buy this if you want ..Only 7/6 Comes with a drawing of a ladder to
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 06 January 2014, 10:08:04 PM
*pulls out oil painting of gun*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Maenoferren on 07 January 2014, 12:37:05 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 06 January 2014, 10:08:04 PM
*pulls out oil painting of gun*
I am sorry but you just hit Defcon 3... I have flying Monkeys and I know how to use them! >:( >:( >:(
well I would ...but somehow I never got round to actually reading the manual... it is there somewhere in my 'man drawer'
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 07 January 2014, 09:03:28 AM
Quote from: Maenoferren on 07 January 2014, 12:37:05 AM
I am sorry but you just hit Defcon 3... I have flying Monkeys and I know how to use them! >:( >:( >:(
well I would ...but somehow I never got round to actually reading the manual... it is there somewhere in my 'man drawer'

"Man drawer" = bedroom floor.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 07 January 2014, 02:45:52 PM
Gosh it's very quiet here.

I shall grab a nice pint and sit in the corner.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 January 2014, 03:03:56 PM
Do you ant some crisps with that?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 07 January 2014, 03:30:53 PM
Yummy what flavour?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 07 January 2014, 05:20:15 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 07 January 2014, 03:03:56 PM
Do you ant some crisps with that?
Fire or bullet ant flavour for me please.....Mmmmmm tangy !! ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 January 2014, 05:50:09 PM
I've got wood ant, honey ant or soldier ant flavours, or egog crisps or pork scratching...

No, don't eat that pot puree! Sorry that's some spare mdf offcuts the Dark Lord left in here!

And I'm not sure those peanuts are edible, can I offer you some unroasted cashews?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 07 January 2014, 07:10:34 PM
What do the egog crisps taste like ?.....Do you get a sachet of salad cream in with them ?
Otherwise I'll have a 'grab-bag' sized pack of soldier ants, please barman.....Keep the change :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 January 2014, 07:18:27 PM
Egog, like prickled onion, only spikier!

Only tartare sauce I'm afraid!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 07 January 2014, 07:26:48 PM
Worth a try then.....And what are you having barman ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 07 January 2014, 07:33:40 PM
Any Spam?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 January 2014, 07:53:31 PM
Jus a curly Wurly sandwich for me.

Spam, egg, chips and spam?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 07 January 2014, 09:13:30 PM
Any ewok scatchings? Got a taste for those while stationed on a small moon you've never heard of.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 January 2014, 09:46:43 PM
I'll have a look out back...

*Rustling sounds*

I've got 'Wookie Sores' or 'Jedi and Obi-won' flavour, but we're out of Ewok.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fateeore on 07 January 2014, 11:54:37 PM
Is it alright if I use your toilet?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 08 January 2014, 01:23:04 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 07 January 2014, 07:53:31 PM
Spam, egg, chips and spam?


Chips and eggs are off. We can do you Spam, spam, spam and spam??
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 08 January 2014, 07:05:53 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 08 January 2014, 01:23:04 AMChips and eggs are off. We can do you Spam, spam, spam and spam??

I don't like spam !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 08 January 2014, 08:02:45 AM
Quote from: Techno on 08 January 2014, 07:05:53 AM
I don't like spam !

What d'you mean I don't like spam?

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam ... spam, spam, spam, spam ... lovely spam, wonderful spam ...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 08 January 2014, 08:18:26 AM
Do I 'ave to wear t'helmet ?

IanS  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 08 January 2014, 08:20:38 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 08 January 2014, 08:18:26 AM
Do I 'ave to wear t'helmet ?

IanS  :D

Spam, spam, spam, spam ...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 08 January 2014, 10:14:49 AM
Okay okay I'll have one wookie sores and a spam fritter and I've waited so long I'll 'av another two pints of this stuff your passing off as beer.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 08 January 2014, 10:23:57 AM
You did say "passing" didn't you?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 08 January 2014, 10:25:08 AM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 08 January 2014, 10:14:49 AM
I've waited so long I'll 'av another two pints of this stuff your passing off as beer.

Fateeore thats not the toilet thats the...

Oh never mind no-one will notice
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 January 2014, 10:29:39 AM
Two halves of moose urine it is then (still better than the lager).
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 08 January 2014, 10:47:14 AM
Halves!

I SAID PINTS!

*throws hot spam fritter at Mad Lemmy*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fateeore on 08 January 2014, 10:55:55 AM
Deep fat fryer... ooops.... I doubt anyone was looking, don't say anything Fenton.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 08 January 2014, 11:14:03 AM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 08 January 2014, 10:47:14 AM
Halves!

I SAID PINTS!

*throws hot spam fritter at Mad Lemmy*

Well, that's a relief - to the moose, at least.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 January 2014, 11:46:03 AM
Right, if it's chemical weaponry and flying spam...!!!

It's been far too polite in here for too long!

*launches stale burger bun as a frisbee* CATCH!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 January 2014, 12:30:42 PM
*as burger bun ricochets repeatedly across the bar*

have you been watching "Xena: Warrior Princess" again?

Ow!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 January 2014, 12:33:06 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 08 January 2014, 10:25:08 AM
Fateeore thats not the toilet thats the...

Oh never mind no-one will notice

Cancel my order for lobster would you?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 08 January 2014, 02:12:44 PM
It's done now.....You sure you don't want it ?...No refunds here sir.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 08 January 2014, 02:40:11 PM
Quote from: fsn on 08 January 2014, 12:33:06 PM
Cancel my order for lobster would you?


Just imagine its got olive oil drizzled over it or something
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 08 January 2014, 04:32:03 PM
So now I have no pints and I've lost my spam fritter  >:(

I shall sit in the corner near the fire and plot my revenge.

*watches curiously as oily lobster makes break for back door*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 January 2014, 05:36:40 PM
I say Barkeep! Barkeep! Bar-keeeep!

May I have a small sherry? Sweet? And a pint of ... whatever that is ... for Mr Tolworth. Please pay for it from this delicate purse I have just found in Mr Fenton's pocket.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 January 2014, 05:53:16 PM
Certainly sir! Erm... Change for a Fifty Mr Fenton?

Erm... Would someone tell that Lobster that he hasn't cleared his tab.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 08 January 2014, 06:01:55 PM
Sorry that 50 FSN has and this one is the only 50's I had

(http://i625.photobucket.com/albums/tt334/SteveW_04/50-Lire-Vulcano.jpg) (http://s625.photobucket.com/user/SteveW_04/media/50-Lire-Vulcano.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 January 2014, 06:14:32 PM
Nudist blacksmith. Got to be a dangerous job!

Never mind.

Will you take a Czech?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 08 January 2014, 06:20:53 PM
No, I'm too Hungary.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 January 2014, 06:23:52 PM
This bar needs a Polish.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 January 2014, 06:24:39 PM
We have Turkey...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 January 2014, 06:26:07 PM
Could I have that with Swedes?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 08 January 2014, 07:39:30 PM
Is that a frozen turkey from Iceland ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 08 January 2014, 07:47:03 PM
Is Baked Alaska still on the menu?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 09 January 2014, 08:23:03 AM
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 January 2014, 08:30:44 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 08 January 2014, 07:47:03 PM
Is Baked Alaska still on the menu?

No, I just saw someone Finnish it off. I did offer to go Dutch, but that's not really German to the post. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Matt J on 09 January 2014, 10:36:01 AM
Brazil nut anyone...?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 09 January 2014, 11:24:10 AM
Got any nutcrackers with those?

This lobsters putting up one hell of a fight! Not easy to wrestle a well oiled lobster!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 09 January 2014, 11:30:13 AM
The mind boggles !  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 January 2014, 12:03:02 PM
True, but I believe Sky Sports will be broadcasting Well Oiled Lobster Wrestling next year.

However, that may be drunken British tourists, having overdone the sunbathing, battering each other in Majorca.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 09 January 2014, 12:15:05 PM
Not UFC ( Ultimate Fighting Crustaceans' ) then
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 09 January 2014, 12:51:48 PM
I DO like this thread for its complete insanity !  ;D ;D ;D
BTW.....Did I understand correctly... What we call Brazil NUTS....are really seeds...The nut itself looking more like a coconut ?
I ask purely for information.  ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 09 January 2014, 01:55:19 PM
Been watching Dave have we - on a QI the other day.

IanS  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 09 January 2014, 02:22:08 PM
That's the one Ian !!  ;D ;D ;D
(I never know how old the ones I watch are....I always miss the beginning where they tell you the date of the original prog.)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 09 January 2014, 03:50:48 PM
Dates are only given for News Quiz, QI you have to use the letter......we are at L I think.

IanS  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 09 January 2014, 04:15:04 PM
Aha !!....
Thanks Ian.
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 January 2014, 04:47:30 PM
Can't stand dates, can we have figs instead?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 09 January 2014, 05:33:36 PM
Yes....But you haven't finished painting them all yet !  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 09 January 2014, 06:16:38 PM
Who wants to date Lemmy?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 January 2014, 06:25:32 PM
My wife did!
Btw, there a second e in Lemmey! Take that Husar!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 09 January 2014, 06:28:23 PM
Not the first fight I've seen over a missing E  :-X

*slips of to the loo to remove lobster oil and avoid fight*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 January 2014, 07:04:25 PM
Wait a moment - that's not a lobster! That's Glorfindel in a wig!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 09 January 2014, 07:20:36 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 09 January 2014, 06:16:38 PM
Who wants to date Lemmy?

Interesting from an archaeological point of view.....We don't have to incinerate him now, so we can use carbon dating, I trust....That might be a little OTT  ;) ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 09 January 2014, 07:33:38 PM
Quote from: fsn on 09 January 2014, 07:04:25 PM
Wait a moment - that's not a lobster! That's Glorfindel in a wig!


What the one in the Lobster Armour?...Taking this new ECW project a tad too far I think
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 09 January 2014, 07:38:43 PM
Quote from: Techno on 09 January 2014, 07:20:36 PM
Interesting from an archaeological point of view.....We don't have to incinerate him now, so we can use carbon dating, I trust....That might be a little OTT  ;) ;D

No I've seen his wooden acting in here and he's barking mad...Bringing in a local Dendrologist would be better, though I dont want to examine his ring
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 January 2014, 07:44:45 PM
*Pulls out chainsaw from behind the bar*

If you want to carbon14 date me, I'll use dendrochronology on you!1

Except that lobster, there is no way to accurately tell the age of one of them.


1Study of treering dating to show when ancient timbers were felled and when structures were built!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 09 January 2014, 07:46:37 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 09 January 2014, 07:44:45 PM
*Pulls out chainsaw from behind the bar*

If you want to carbon14 date me, I'll use dendrochronology on you!1

Except that lobster, there is no way to accurately tell the age of one of them.


1Study of treering dating to show when ancient timbers were felled and when structures were built!

*in worst scouse accent* calm down calm down

I like the little '1' you did there...Are you a computer programmer?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 January 2014, 08:02:32 PM
Ex academichistorian. Was meant to be a footnote.

Anyone got any two stroke oil, haven't used this chainsaw in years?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 09 January 2014, 08:04:43 PM
Does it use unleaded?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 January 2014, 08:14:07 PM
(http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc94/madlemmey/patrick-stewart-lobster_zps92f2fdb0.jpg) (http://s214.photobucket.com/user/madlemmey/media/patrick-stewart-lobster_zps92f2fdb0.jpg.html)

This tickled me after today's silliness!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 January 2014, 08:23:22 PM
Is that Patrick Stewart?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 January 2014, 08:24:32 PM
Yes!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 January 2014, 09:27:15 PM
If they're not filming a weird remake of "the fly", that's very sad. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 09 January 2014, 09:31:01 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 09 January 2014, 08:02:32 PM
Anyone got any two stroke oil, haven't used this chainsaw in years?

Yep...Lots....and the chain oil....But I was too much of a coward to use it yesterday.
Rather large bit of tree overhanging road that had been trashed by the gales....

I went up the ladder and used a hand saw.....I'm FAR too accident prone to trust myself using a chainsaw, without both feet on the ground......And even then Mrs T has to supervise me.  ;)  ;D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 January 2014, 10:01:00 PM
Quote from: fsn on 09 January 2014, 09:27:15 PM
If they're not filming a weird remake of "the fly", that's very sad. 
It was his Halloween costume!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Maenoferren on 10 January 2014, 12:00:00 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 09 January 2014, 08:14:07 PM
(http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc94/madlemmey/patrick-stewart-lobster_zps92f2fdb0.jpg) (http://s214.photobucket.com/user/madlemmey/media/patrick-stewart-lobster_zps92f2fdb0.jpg.html)

This tickled me after today's silliness!
you let that tickle you... you are totally wierd man  ;D ;D ;D
runs off to find the two stroke oil in my man drawer to put on the floor to ensure anyone who tries to hit me ends up slipping up.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 10 January 2014, 09:10:52 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 09 January 2014, 08:14:07 PM
(http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc94/madlemmey/patrick-stewart-lobster_zps92f2fdb0.jpg) (http://s214.photobucket.com/user/madlemmey/media/patrick-stewart-lobster_zps92f2fdb0.jpg.html)


RSC classical actor in lobster costume - no wonder he looks totally p****d off!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 09:27:25 AM
Cinzano, eight one litre bottles, check.
Three gross Babycham.
Three magnums of Bailey's...
Seven hundred and twenty packs of pork scratchings...
Half a lager... Must be Nik's.
Oh, and a curly Wurly.

Yep, that's the preorders sorted for a quiet lunchtime
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 January 2014, 09:30:14 AM
Haven't you forgotten to urinate on the bar peanuts?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 09:33:58 AM
Nah, can't stand presoaked. They use artificial badger urine these days. Would you like to try these free range skunk scented cashews instead?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 January 2014, 09:40:03 AM
Don't you have any Brie and Rocket crisps?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 19 January 2014, 09:55:36 AM
Quote from: fsn on 19 January 2014, 09:30:14 AM
Haven't you forgotten to urinate on the bar peanuts?

Apparently they are anyway from people not washing their hands :-& :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 10:00:03 AM
Quote from: fsn on 19 January 2014, 09:40:03 AM
Don't you have any Brie and Rocket crisps?

Bit posh aren't they?  How about cheesy bunion flavour? Or spam, eggs, spam, spam and spam...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 19 January 2014, 10:02:46 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 January 2014, 10:00:03 AM
Bit posh aren't they?  How about cheesy bunion flavour? Or spam, eggs, spam, spam and spam...

Looking at the menu FSN it says he has a toad in his hole maybe you could try that
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 19 January 2014, 10:09:01 AM
Right I've had enough of this rubbish!

I want a pint of babycham and a pack of ewok flakes! I've waited over a week for those!

I don't want 'weird' stuff like brie and sodding rocket crisps.

And these peanuts taste 'funny'  :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 10:18:36 AM
*Throws cheese grater and whole ewok at Republic of Tolworth.*
Can't get flakes, would you mind grating your own? When you've finished, feel free to use the grater destructively...

Do you want ice in the babycham?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 19 January 2014, 10:34:32 AM
Grate my own ewok!

Now that's what I call service  :D

And yeh ice a  slice and an umbrella if you got one. Don't want to forget all the trimmings.

*gleeful sounds of live ewok grating in background along with contented humming*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 January 2014, 10:36:55 AM
Just got rid of the toad, but now I seem to have a frog in my throat.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 10:38:16 AM
Hmm... Golf umbrella in a pint glass, won't be much room for liquids!

There you go.

Whose NEXT please!  Yes, guy in the pink shirt, yer next!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 January 2014, 11:16:10 AM
Not pink. Cerise.

Have you any Dubonnet?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 January 2014, 11:55:24 AM
No bloody foreigners please, 'eres a bottle of stout

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 January 2014, 01:04:00 PM
Techno slides very quietly into the bar in his 30 year old, green BT overalls and sits in the corner ....Liberally, and randomly, covered from head to toe in blobs of expanding foam.....Hoping nobody notices, beacause a)...As far as Ian's concerned, he's a foreigner. b) Gareth is expecting Techno to by him a drink and c) He look even more of a state than he usually does...If that's possible ! =)

Tries to catch Lemmey's eye, to get Will to bring him a drink before anyone starts taking the pee.

Cheers - Mr Messy. :o :'( >:(

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 January 2014, 01:29:46 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 19 January 2014, 11:55:24 AM
No bloody foreigners please, 'eres a bottle of stout

IanS

I once got thrown out of a pub in Edinburgh because on of my mates ordered a vodka (a ladies drink) instead of the beer the rest of us were having, having been warned about the peculiarities of this particular venue.

One "we don't serve your type here, you're all barred" later we were outside wondering which to bar to head for next!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 January 2014, 01:49:14 PM
Quite right too. Drinking anything but whisky on Scotland is somewhat unnatural.

I once asked a dour old Scots friend of mine what he thought of his daughter's fiance. "Well" he said, contemplatively, "he's a lager drinker." Thus damning the fiance and all of his sort.

Pint of the usual Techno? 

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 03:10:11 PM
*Pours Techno an anti-freeze, adds jagerbomb*

Not a double today Phil?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 19 January 2014, 03:20:24 PM
The only time you'll catch me with *half* a lager is when I've drunk the top half.

I got given a bottle of Jack Daniel's Honey for Christmas from some numpty a kind relation - it's alright, provided you mix it at 3:1 ratio with proper JD  <)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 03:30:41 PM
Thought you would mix it 0:1, with the real thing being the one!

*slides a '66 springbank down the bar to Nik*

Drink it carefully, we've only just mended the crater in the ceiling from the last drop you spilled!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 19 January 2014, 03:33:45 PM
Quote from: nikharwood on 19 January 2014, 03:20:24 PM

I got given a bottle of Jack Daniel's Honey for Christmas

:-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 January 2014, 04:12:48 PM
Give it to someone next Xmas. Could become a family heirloom, passed from person to person every year.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 January 2014, 05:16:09 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 January 2014, 03:10:11 PM
*Pours Techno an anti-freeze, adds jagerbomb*
Not a double today Phil?

Maybe a bit later....Cheers fsn. :) (Hic)
Can you put a drop of 3 in 1 in Will ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 19 January 2014, 05:21:04 PM
Quote from: fsn on 19 January 2014, 04:12:48 PM
Give it to someone next Xmas. Could become a family heirloom, passed from person to person every year.

Could do - would be a half-empty bottle now though...waste not, want not  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 05:33:05 PM
Quote from: Techno on 19 January 2014, 05:16:09 PM
Maybe a bit later....Cheers fsn. :) (Hic)
Can you put a drop of 3 in 1 in Will ?

Dash of WD-40 too? I know how you like the shiny red straws.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 January 2014, 07:08:25 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 January 2014, 05:33:05 PM
Dash of WD-40 too? I know how you like the shiny red straws.

Perfect !! :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 19 January 2014, 08:22:24 PM
Red? Nah - blue is the colour. Isn't that right, Ray?  8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 08:37:55 PM
Only for us Shrewsbury Town fans...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 19 January 2014, 08:51:03 PM
Quote from: nikharwood on 19 January 2014, 08:22:24 PM
Red? Nah - blue is the colour. Isn't that right, Ray?  8)

I would E'to that comment
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 January 2014, 08:52:12 PM
Quote from: nikharwood on 19 January 2014, 08:22:24 PM
Red? Nah - blue is the colour. Isn't that right, Ray?  8)

Don't forget me too..... :)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 19 January 2014, 09:17:13 PM
Ottomans just lost to pesky Russian army :(

Double please barkeep.
:'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 January 2014, 10:01:13 PM
Not vodka though, eh?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2014, 11:44:54 PM
*Slides a double raki down the bar, hides the vodka*

So, tell us what happened...?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 20 January 2014, 08:53:42 AM
Quote from: nikharwood on 19 January 2014, 08:22:24 PM
Red? Nah - blue is the colour. Isn't that right, Ray?  8)

Yup! Blues three, Benighted one.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 20 January 2014, 11:20:37 AM
*grabbing raki*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 20 January 2014, 11:22:17 AM
*gulps down raki*
Russians, thousands of them. In nice neat lines with horrid muskets
*sob sob*

My poor cavalry  :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 11:39:00 AM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 20 January 2014, 11:22:17 AM
*gulps down raki*
Russians, thousands of them. In nice neat lines with horrid muskets
*sob sob*

My poor cavalry  :'(

Don't worry, have a shot of this...

Blows dust off bottle.

Its Honey Jack Daniels... :-&

...one sip and you'll forget all your other worries :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 20 January 2014, 11:45:51 AM
JD, not a good idea, I get a bit 'fighty' on JD.
Mind you I'm in the right place I suppose.
*grabs bottle and starts glugging*

Right! Show me the Russians!
Title: Who locked the bar?
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 12:43:40 PM
I can't get into the Bar Fight? Have you checked my credentials and found out I'm underage?  :-[

Or has Dr Helen being spilling the beans again and letting slip that I should be drinking with my meds?

 
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Ithoriel on 20 January 2014, 02:25:23 PM
Maybe Pendraken have had a C&D notice from Jack Daniels :-)

Can't get in either.

I dunno, you go outside for a pee (have you seen the state of the toilets in there) and some b****r has locked the door behind you  >:(
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Techno on 20 January 2014, 02:57:17 PM
You'll have to hang on.
Probably my fault.....I think I've smeared some of that expanding foam around the door frame from when I popped in last night.
Bet it's stuck the door to the frame....Sorry....I'll get the acetone.
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: republic of tolworth on 20 January 2014, 05:22:13 PM
Well I managed to crawl out the toilet window.

I told you giving me JD was a bad idea!
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 January 2014, 05:32:28 PM
I've been in school all day with year one, let me innnnnnnnnn!
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 06:42:08 PM
got stuck at work for an extra 2 hours today >:( I think I hear a beer calling me  :P
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Leon on 20 January 2014, 07:09:18 PM
Not sure what happened there, but I've opened it up again now.  We've had a bit of a refurb, so there's a new range of cocktails, plus 37 real ales with silly names, and please try not to fall off the ridiculously oversized stools around the new poser tables.

8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 07:13:52 PM
Oooh! I like the new bar, but the smell of paint is a bit overpowering. Like the padding on all corners and the boxing ring in the centre of the snug. Not too sure about the extra large paddling pool full of scented oils though. What could that be for?

I do like the painting of Leon above the bar, and what an interesting place for a spigot.

May I try a pint of Goosestrangler please?  
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 07:19:16 PM
Quote from: fsn on 20 January 2014, 07:13:52 PM
Oooh! I like the new bar, but the smell of paint is a bit overpowering. Like the padding on all corners and the boxing ring in the centre of the snug. Not too sure about the extra large paddling pool full of scented oils though. What could that be for?

I do like the painting of Leon above the bar, and what an interesting place for a spigot.

May I try a pint of Goosestrangler please?  


No you're Shakespeare...

Damn...barred!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 20 January 2014, 07:20:34 PM
"Not sure what happened there, but I've opened it up again now.  We've had a bit of a refurb, so there's a new range of cocktails, plus 37 real ales with silly names, and please try not to fall off the ridiculously oversized stools around the new poser tables." - Leon

Ooh! Bit bright in here now!

I'll have a pint of Dark Ness please barma ... barperson.

ww.lochnessbrewery.com/#!beers/cwvn
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 07:21:32 PM
Off with me kit and slurps cocktails in the pool  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 07:22:35 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 07:21:32 PM
Off with me kit and slurps cocktails in the pool  :P

X-box styley??? :-& :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 20 January 2014, 07:47:36 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 07:21:32 PM
Off with me kit and slurps cocktails in the pool  :P

*wonders why Sandinista is sitting in the slops bucket drinking babysham shandies, shakes head and wanders off  to talk to the innkeep*

So got any wolfs nipple chips then?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 January 2014, 07:50:44 PM
WooooW! Man I need a pint tonight, and I can't drink!  ;D

Wolf's nipple chips, yup! Special on Aardvark's noses tonight, in honey.
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 January 2014, 07:51:09 PM
 =O =O =O :-bd m/
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 07:52:36 PM
*knocks on window from outside*

May I come back in yet?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: fsn on 20 January 2014, 07:52:36 PM
*knocks on window from outside*

May I come back in yet?

Oh go on then...so long as someone vouches for you...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 08:02:34 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 20 January 2014, 07:47:36 PM

So got any wolfs nipple chips then?

Get 'em while they're hot, they're lovely ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 20 January 2014, 08:04:25 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 08:02:34 PM
Get 'em while they're hot, they're lovely ;)

If you buy them you get called honey by Mad Lemmey..well that's what I think he said anyway
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 January 2014, 08:18:05 PM
That's right duck!

Always remember first time I got off bus in Nottingham. Said "ThAnk you" to the burly tattooed bearded bus driver; he replied "Thanks me love!"

Only later did I find out this was traditional Nottingham speech!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 08:19:08 PM
another peanut collider please waiter  8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 January 2014, 08:23:58 PM
*sends peanut at 1/4 the speed of light round a 28 mile diameter loop*

Everyone duck!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 08:25:43 PM
May I have a Lucozade and Night Nurse please? And one for yourself.

Who's minding the microwave tonight? I've a hankering for some of that toxic sludge you pass off as stew.

*thinks: and while I'm waiting, I'm just going to kick this pedal on Grips stool so it collapses and he spills his pint on Sandinsita.*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 08:32:28 PM
Ah, a free beer shampoo! The world is kind to me tonight  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 January 2014, 08:37:46 PM
Pint of Dark Ness for Ithorial. Wouldn't say that was dark and heavy, but I've been pouring it for two hours!

Sandinista, take FSN out the microwave, it took ages to clean last time!
Use the blender instead.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 08:38:57 PM
Who vouched for FSN???
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 20 January 2014, 08:44:02 PM
He told me you did!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 08:51:29 PM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 20 January 2014, 08:44:02 PM
He told me you did!

Hmm :-\

Said the same thing to me :o

FSN...OUT...you're barred again!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 January 2014, 08:53:55 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 20 January 2014, 08:37:46 PM
Pint of Dark Ness for Ithorial. Wouldn't say that was dark and heavy, but I've been pouring it for two hours!

LEMMEY !! ...Will you please stop trying to use the blanking taps, while I'm down here in the cellar changing the blanking barrels over !!
The lights have gone again down here.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 08:54:55 PM
Quote from: Techno on 20 January 2014, 08:53:55 PM
LEMMEY !! ...Will you please stop trying to use the blanking taps, while I'm down here in the cellar changing the blanking barrels over !!
The lights have gone again down here.


Watch out...I saw Leon heading off that way to play X-box
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Techno on 20 January 2014, 08:56:49 PM
Quote from: Leon on 20 January 2014, 07:09:18 PM
We've had a bit of a refurb, so there's a new range of cocktails, plus 37 real ales with silly names, and please try not to fall off the ridiculously oversized stools around the new poser tables. 8)

WHO DECIDED THEY SHOULD BE THAT COLOUR !!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:02:27 PM
*knocks on microwave window from inside*

May I come out yet?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 January 2014, 09:05:05 PM
Not until I've flicked the trip switch.....DON'T TRY AND OPEN THE DOOR FROM INSIDE !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 09:06:08 PM
Quote from: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:02:27 PM
*knocks on microwave window from inside*

May I come out yet?

Yes...if someone vouches for your character and (snigger) accepts responsibility for you (snigger).
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:06:24 PM
I'm just a bit worried about this tin foil in my hair.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 January 2014, 09:17:02 PM
I'm just about to flick the trip.
EVERYBODY DOWN !!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 09:18:06 PM
Quote from: Techno on 20 January 2014, 09:17:02 PM
I'm just about to flick the trip.
EVERYBODY DOWN !!


Everyone dutifully ducks.............
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 20 January 2014, 09:18:59 PM
Arrgh!  *falls over rubbing his forehead. Looks about and picks something up on the floor* Oi who nutted me?
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: petercooman on 20 January 2014, 09:30:41 PM
Quote from: Techno on 20 January 2014, 08:56:49 PM
WHO DECIDED THEY SHOULD BE THAT COLOUR !!

No worries Phil, the soft pink just makes it less obvious if Leon is naked again...
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:47:47 PM
 :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:55:26 PM
Um chaps! Friend Fenton has been felled by a fiendish flying .. peanut travelling at near light speed.

Not only that, but my hair is giving off colourful sparks and is  like to go on fire. 

Please could you all stop applauding and let me out? It's getting a bit hot in this microwave, and I'm getting dizzy sitting on this turntable.
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 09:55:55 PM
Quote from: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:47:47 PM
:-&

FSN makes sense... :o :o :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 09:57:08 PM
Quote from: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:55:26 PM
Um chaps! Friend Fenton has been felled by a fiendish flying .. peanut travelling at near light speed.

Not only that, but my hair is giving off colourful sparks and is  like to go on fire. 

Please could you all stop applauding and let me out? It's getting a bit hot in this microwave, and I'm getting dizzy sitting on this turntable.

Opens microwave...

Throws in bag of popcorn...

Closes door...

Presses quick start 3 times... :d :d :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:59:15 PM
... and while I remember I don't want Friend Fenton to make a mask of my face using his new vacuum pump.

Nice popcorn, needs some salt.

By the way, whose chicken and mushroom pie am I sitting in?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 10:00:04 PM
Quote from: fsn on 20 January 2014, 09:59:15 PM
... and while I remember I don't want Friend Fenton to make a mask of my face using his new vacuum pump.


=O =O =O =O =O
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: petercooman on 20 January 2014, 10:02:24 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 09:55:55 PM
FSN makes sense... :o :o :o

Why on earth did you say that out loud!!!

He'll never stop now!!


;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 20 January 2014, 10:03:11 PM
Dont worry FSN I need the vacuum pump for ...Well I will just keep quiet about that
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: get2grips on 20 January 2014, 10:06:01 PM
Quote from: petercooman on 20 January 2014, 10:02:24 PM
Why on earth did you say that out loud!!!

He'll never stop now!!

;D ;D

I am very VERY sorry :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: nikharwood on 20 January 2014, 10:10:02 PM
I think I might have been the culprit y'know...I was bored at work & sneaking a quick look at the forum on my iPad...and think I hit the Lock button on my way back into consciousness in the meeting I was in  :D

Mea culpa  8)
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 January 2014, 10:15:24 PM
D'OH!

Shows that the Moderators CAN use their powers, but did you chose the wallpaper for the redecoration at the same time?
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: nikharwood on 20 January 2014, 10:29:07 PM
Yep - thought a whole bunch of redhead inked doll totty would be just the thing  8)
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 January 2014, 10:37:19 PM
How did you get the pattern to line up? That's a really hard repeat!
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: nikharwood on 20 January 2014, 10:38:56 PM
The absinthe helped  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 20 January 2014, 10:40:54 PM
*having climbed back IN through toilet window R.O.T blunders in holding empty JD bottle*

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 10:54:18 PM
Grab a cocktail ROTterand join me in the "pool"  :O)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 20 January 2014, 11:05:43 PM
Quote from: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 10:54:18 PM
Grab a cocktail ROTterand join me in the "pool"  :O)

Hey Grips!...Look at the pool .  its a jacuzzi! ...I can see bubbless
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 20 January 2014, 11:07:21 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 20 January 2014, 11:05:43 PM
Hey Grips!...Look at the pool .  its a jacuzzi! ...I can see bubbless

Just don't breathe in... :-& I blame the JD
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 08:09:01 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 20 January 2014, 11:05:43 PM
Hey Grips!...Look at the pool .  its a jacuzzi! ...I can see bubbless

Nobody, I mean NOBODY, light a match :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 January 2014, 08:51:29 AM
And nobody's to open the kitchen door, in case any of the hobs are lit !!
Where's Will ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 21 January 2014, 08:52:17 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 08:09:01 AM
Nobody, I mean NOBODY, light a match :o

Can I use my disposable lighter ?

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 08:53:46 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 21 January 2014, 08:52:17 AM
Can I use my disposable lighter ?

IanS

Click...click...click...BOOM!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 21 January 2014, 09:01:31 AM
Quote from: Techno on 21 January 2014, 08:51:29 AM
And nobody's to open the kitchen door, in case any of the hobs are lit !!
Where's Will ?

Well, you know what they say - where there's a Will.....  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 21 January 2014, 09:16:59 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 08:53:46 AM
Click...click...click...BOOM!

Well Done....thats a trip down to poundland for me to buy some new knees
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 09:18:18 AM
Leon's going to have to decorate again: didn't like the colour scheme anyway ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 January 2014, 09:21:57 AM
Totally agree Gareth.....That pastel pink theme was not to my taste, at all.
Shame about the wallpaper though....Maybe Nik's still got some more.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 09:24:10 AM
Quote from: Techno on 21 January 2014, 09:21:57 AM

Shame about the wallpaper though....Maybe Nik's still got some more.

It's not wallpaper: he has stripy and tartan paint.

How else do you think he cranks out armes at the speed he does? ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 21 January 2014, 09:57:49 AM
He's actually got a tartan spray-gun that requires him to change the paint-bottle every 2.3 seconds. I'm waiting for him to make a mistake...  ;)
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Hertsblue on 21 January 2014, 10:14:29 AM
But why, oh why, dayglo orange? I've got a splitting headache now.  @-) @-) @-)
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 January 2014, 10:48:36 AM
The furniture's bright, the furniture's orange! :) :) :)
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Techno on 21 January 2014, 11:07:38 AM
GET YOUR COAT !! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 11:22:28 AM
 ;D ;D ;D

Any chance a moderator could merge the two threads; this one and barfight: they seem to be symbiotic anyhow ;)
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 21 January 2014, 12:07:07 PM
No - that's far too technical for most of em.....

ianS
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Techno on 21 January 2014, 12:16:21 PM
Certainly is for me ! :P :-*
But I'm not a 'Global Moderator', and only those can do that sort of thing....I think..... unless they're named as 'Heads' of certain sections.
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: Fenton on 21 January 2014, 12:17:52 PM
Quote from: Techno on 21 January 2014, 12:16:21 PM
Certainly is for me ! :P :-*
But I'm not a 'Global Moderator', and only those can do that sort of thing....I think..... unless they're named as 'Heads' of certain sections.
Cheers - Phil
Like Worzel Gummidge?
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 12:29:47 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 21 January 2014, 12:17:52 PM
Like Worzel Gummidge?

Sculpting head ;)
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: nikharwood on 21 January 2014, 12:47:19 PM
I think I know how to merge topics...just be ready though, in case I lock everything again  ;) :D
Title: Re: Who locked the bar?
Post by: nikharwood on 21 January 2014, 12:48:34 PM
Quote from: nikharwood on 21 January 2014, 12:47:19 PM
I think I know how to merge topics...just be ready though, in case I lock everything again  ;) :D

Yay - go me...didn't break anything. Apart from a few heads, swinging this bar stool around. C'mon...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 January 2014, 12:55:05 PM
Borrows a cattleprod from Techno and stuns Nik with it from behind.

Rummages Nik's pockets looking for "wallpaper" :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 12:56:51 PM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 21 January 2014, 12:55:05 PM
Borrows a cattleprod from Techno and stuns Nik with it from behind.

Rummages Nik's pockets looking for "wallpaper" :)

One of Fenton's new pound shop knees flies across room and hits Ithoriel
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 January 2014, 01:25:21 PM
Good night, get2grips. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 04:16:00 PM
Please can I come out of the microwave now?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 January 2014, 04:35:56 PM
Yes.....Just wait until that nice Mr Ithoriel has given me my cattle prod back....Then I'll be ready !! :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 04:40:00 PM
Yay. Can't wait.  :(

Could you at least put me on "defrost" for a few minutes? It's freezing in here.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 January 2014, 05:16:30 PM
Evening, did I miss anything?

*removes axe from bar, extingushes fire, throws microwave through window.*

Was there someone in there? Maybe I sould have opened that first? And the window...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 05:19:45 PM
T
  h
    a
      n
        k
          s

             L
               e
                  m
                     m
                        e
                          y!
                       
.....  ouch!


         
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 05:25:02 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 21 January 2014, 05:16:30 PM
Evening, did I miss anything?

*removes axe from bar, extingushes fire, throws microwave through window.*

Was there someone in there? Maybe I sould have opened that first? And the window...

Quote from: fsn on 21 January 2014, 05:19:45 PM
T
  h
    a
      n
        k
          s

             L
               e
                  m
                     m
                        e
                          y!
                       
.....  ouch!


         

=O =O =O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 January 2014, 06:05:28 PM
Anyone got a crowbar, to open this door on the microwave ?
Looks a bit stuck.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 06:26:05 PM
Quote from: Techno on 21 January 2014, 06:05:28 PM
Anyone got a crowbar, to open this door on the microwave ?
Looks a bit stuck.

Woo hoo :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 21 January 2014, 06:37:34 PM
I have one, now its open can someone give this man a beer? He'll need one as soon as he realises his tanks are all bent
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 06:44:02 PM
Oooh! I think I landed on a Centurion!

Evening Decimus!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 January 2014, 06:52:26 PM
*Sound of a pint of 'Owd Codger' sliding down the bar at tectonic speed*

Right lads, fess up, whose been using Areldite on the bar?
Chisel please!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 21 January 2014, 07:05:29 PM
That's not Decimus.  That's Biggus Dickus.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 07:09:00 PM
"Deci" = "Ten".

'nuff said.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 21 January 2014, 07:51:35 PM
Quote*Sound of a pint of 'Owd Codger' sliding down the bar at tectonic speed*
Right lads, fess up, whose been using Areldite on the bar?
Chisel please!


....and that Col Grips is the physical demonstration I promised to show you of how slowly I paint
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 08:16:42 PM
Thank goodness for that. I lost the top of my hemorrhoid cream and just put the tube on the bar whilst I looked for the top.

Nosher. Are you brushing your teeth?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 January 2014, 08:47:27 PM
Yeah, and you've just eaten to pot porri!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 08:56:45 PM
Anyone seen my toe nail collection...?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 09:00:03 PM
 :-&

A pint of boiling water - and for goodness sake - hurry.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 21 January 2014, 09:09:18 PM
Quote from: fsn on 21 January 2014, 09:00:03 PM
:-&

A pint of boiling water - and for goodness sake - hurry.

*a wizened old man comes stumbling in with a bucket of boiling water*

'ere you go sir, wot end  do yer want it poured in
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 21 January 2014, 09:17:15 PM
I have a funnel   :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 09:18:00 PM
That's fine Peon, I'll drink it straight from the bucket. Mmmm. Jeyes Fluid.

Does that count as a cocktail round here?

*flings empty bucket at nearest bystander*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 21 January 2014, 09:23:44 PM
Quote from: fsn on 21 January 2014, 09:18:00 PM
That's fine Peon, I'll drink it straight from the bucket. Mmmm. Jeyes Fluid.

Does that count as a cocktail round here?

*flings empty bucket at nearest bystander*

*goes off muttering* [Names not Peon sir, I cant remember my name to be honest, now what was it?..Reginald no that's not it...you cant get the wood you know...Now where did I put my pet goldfish, ah there it is ah better go take the dog for a pull....../size]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 10:14:46 PM
I say, Peon!

Don't go away mumbling. Take that bucket and bedazzle us with an amazing dance routine, like Gene Kelly in "Anchors Aweigh". Here, let me accompany you with these spoons.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 21 January 2014, 10:21:44 PM
Oi! who chucked that bucket at me?

*points at weird mumbling man*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 10:22:30 PM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 21 January 2014, 10:21:44 PM
Oi! who chucked that bucket at me?

*points at weird mumbling man*

It was Peon...it was Peon :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 21 January 2014, 10:25:52 PM
Leon you say??

*cups hand to ear, while munching on a toenail surprise*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 10:30:44 PM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 21 January 2014, 10:25:52 PM
Leon you say??

*cups hand to ear, while munching on a toenail surprise*

Do you want dip with that?

I've got some Pledge Klear Peon recommended I use...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 21 January 2014, 10:34:03 PM
I think Peon is one of the clones
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 January 2014, 10:36:09 PM
You want honey in that?  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fred. on 21 January 2014, 10:36:23 PM
Just watched Vic and Bob on the Telly - you lot are even more barmy than they are!!

**running away now**
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2014, 10:37:53 PM
Strange fellow!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 January 2014, 10:38:23 PM
Quote from: fred    12df on 21 January 2014, 10:36:23 PM
Just watched Vic and Bob on the Telly - you lot are even more barmy than they are!!

**running away now**

FSN...get him...he swiped one of your Centurions...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 22 January 2014, 12:56:12 AM
who has a very good fweind in Wome.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 January 2014, 08:05:00 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 22 January 2014, 12:56:12 AM
who has a very good fweind in Wome.

What's his name?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 January 2014, 08:25:53 AM
Biggus....something or other. ;)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 22 January 2014, 09:10:49 AM
Morning.

Why is there a microwave lying outside?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 January 2014, 10:45:11 AM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 22 January 2014, 09:10:49 AM
Morning.

Why is there a microwave lying outside?

Street food :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 January 2014, 01:02:00 PM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 22 January 2014, 09:10:49 AM
Morning.

Why is there a microwave lying outside?

The microwave always tells the truth?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 22 January 2014, 01:04:15 PM
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 22 January 2014, 09:10:49 AM
Morning.

Why is there a microwave lying outside?

I caught it broadcasting my bank details to a gang of hackers.  >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 January 2014, 05:47:38 PM
I'm here early to get a seat near the stage. I wonder who will be the floor show tonight? Hope it's lots of girls and not many feathers.

Barman. I'll have a whisky and leave the bottle! And bring me a Super Spicy Pot Noodle.

I'm feeling butch tonight!  
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 January 2014, 05:53:27 PM
You leave Butch alone, he's not that sort of man!

Shall I just make the pot noodle with whisky cut out the middle man?

Sundance doesn't mind a feel though!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 January 2014, 06:47:05 PM
Quote from: fsn on 22 January 2014, 05:47:38 PM
I'm here early to get a seat near the stage. I wonder who will be the floor show tonight?

I heard it was Leon....Using the X-Box to hide his modesty. :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 January 2014, 06:49:03 PM
Quote from: Techno on 22 January 2014, 06:47:05 PM
I heard it was Leon....Using the X-Box to hide his modesty. :-\

Wouldn't need an X-box, a points card would do it ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 22 January 2014, 06:52:24 PM
Are you trying to say you have seen his joystick controller.?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 January 2014, 06:54:02 PM
Are we talking about Thomas the Tank Engine now ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 22 January 2014, 06:54:54 PM
yes
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 January 2014, 06:58:13 PM
Quote from: Techno on 22 January 2014, 06:54:02 PM
Are we talking about Thomas the Tank Engine now ?

=O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 January 2014, 06:59:58 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 22 January 2014, 05:53:27 PM
Shall I just make the pot noodle with whisky cut out the middle man?

Yeah! And I don't even want a napkin.

I'm putting my pipe there on the table for after my food. And if anyone minds the bubbles, well I just don't care.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 22 January 2014, 07:11:32 PM
Quote from: fsn on 22 January 2014, 06:59:58 PM
Yeah! And I don't even want a napkin.

Is this a newer tougher more streetwise FSN that were beginning to see?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 January 2014, 07:12:53 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 22 January 2014, 07:11:32 PM
Is this a newer tougher more streetwise FSN that were beginning to see?

FSN 2...

He's back...

WITHOUT a napkin...

coming to a microwave near you
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 January 2014, 07:34:07 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 22 January 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 22 January 2014, 07:12:53 PM
FSN 2...

He's back...

WITHOUT a napkin...

coming to a microwave near you

Does this means that everytime he hears the ding of the microwave hes going to jump of his barstool and start throwing punches well throw peanuts at least
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 January 2014, 07:38:44 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 22 January 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Does this means that everytime he hears the ding of the microwave hes going to jump of his barstool and start throwing punches well throw peanuts at least

It would, on the whole, be a considerable improvement :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 January 2014, 07:42:50 PM
*Ping*

Pies ready!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 January 2014, 07:44:07 PM
*scowls at everyone in the bar whilst drinking neat pot-scotch*

Grrr!

*claps hands when cartoons come on the bar telly*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 22 January 2014, 07:56:42 PM
Quote from: fsn on 22 January 2014, 07:44:07 PM
*scowls at everyone in the bar whilst drinking neat pot-scotch*

Grrr!

*claps hands when cartoons come on the bar telly*

Oh look The Centurions are on
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 January 2014, 09:17:24 PM
I've seen this one. It's rubbish !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 January 2014, 10:43:15 PM
Shhhhhhhhh! I like this one.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 22 January 2014, 11:47:29 PM
Quote from: fsn on 22 January 2014, 10:43:15 PM
Shhhhhhhhh! I like this one.

I'm Henry the 8th I am
Henry the 8th I am, I am...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 23 January 2014, 07:33:53 AM
Who switched the karaoke on ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 23 January 2014, 09:06:56 AM
Definitely not you Phill....it's electricery

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 23 January 2014, 09:19:32 AM
Or electrickery - if you have our power supplier.  :(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 23 January 2014, 10:43:18 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 23 January 2014, 09:06:56 AM
Definitely not you Phill....it's electricery IanS

But I know where all the trip switches are.....Thank goodness !!  ;)
Just treat those as tiny little levers...Even I can do that !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 January 2014, 12:26:08 PM
But only an Igor is qualified to use those!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 23 January 2014, 12:43:58 PM
Igor IgorIGOR
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: republic of tolworth on 23 January 2014, 02:19:09 PM
You called?

I was just putting abbey normal's brain back in the microwave for another 30 seconds.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 24 January 2014, 11:02:00 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 23 January 2014, 12:43:58 PM
Igor IgorIGOR

Yeth, mathter?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 24 January 2014, 11:11:57 AM
Igor? Hugo?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 January 2014, 11:18:04 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 24 January 2014, 11:02:00 AM
Yeth, mathter?

You know, I could fix that hump
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 24 January 2014, 11:23:00 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 24 January 2014, 11:18:04 AM
You know, I could fix that hump

No, no, I've promithed it to my cousin Igor.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 24 January 2014, 12:24:49 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 24 January 2014, 11:23:00 AM
No, no, I've promithed it to my cousin Igor.

Isn't he Igor's brother?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 January 2014, 01:15:30 PM
No....You're thinking of the one in Thplith, Thur.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 24 January 2014, 01:23:02 PM
Quote from: Techno on 24 January 2014, 01:15:30 PM
No....You're thinking of the one in Thplith, Thur.

Oh, I thought he was Igor?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 January 2014, 01:27:19 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 24 January 2014, 01:23:02 PM
Oh, I thought he was Igor?

No thats Egor
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 24 January 2014, 03:46:22 PM
Igor Blymeigh, sir!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 January 2014, 03:58:11 PM
Coat !!....Door !!....Out !!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 24 January 2014, 04:29:23 PM
It's Friday and I want a beer
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 January 2014, 04:33:40 PM
Good call. Mind if I join you?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 24 January 2014, 04:37:57 PM
pull up a stool
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 January 2014, 04:44:02 PM
Thank you. What you drinking?

I don't know what's in this glass today, but I can still taste last night's lager in it, and I hope that was just a cat hair that I've swallowed. I would complain about the way they wash the glasses here, but I don't think they do. Have you seen the towel around barman's neck? When do you think that was last white? I don't mind it being from the Queens Diamond Jubilee, but the Queen was Victoria.

Not that I'm one to complain.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 January 2014, 06:12:05 PM
Get your facts right FSN...

That glass is the one I used to bail out the urinal, so that's not lager, its pinot grigio. Queen Anne never had that jubilee, its from her Silver...

*thunk of many beers being lined up*
Come and get em lads, I've had a great first week of supply. Really boosted the confidence. First round is on me...

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 24 January 2014, 06:13:48 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 24 January 2014, 06:12:05 PM
Come and get em lads, I've had a great first week of supply. Really boosted the confidence. First round is on me...

I'll take a J2O... Damnit, it's the weekend... make it a Red Bull!

:D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 January 2014, 06:25:58 PM
ooooo  I have found some chocolate

FSN would you snigger like some snigger Maltesers cough



wanders over to the bar


So Mad..How are the pet rabbits  you bought doing?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 January 2014, 06:32:02 PM
Yeah, not so good.
Gave one a hot ham sandwich, which it loved. Then it wolfed down a cheese panini, then a carrot bagel.

It died from mixing-my-toasties!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 24 January 2014, 06:33:37 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 24 January 2014, 06:32:02 PM
It died from mixing-my-toasties!

:'( :'( :'(

Better make it 2 Red Bull's after that...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 January 2014, 06:43:41 PM
Are these organic chocolates?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 24 January 2014, 06:46:58 PM
A pint of Riggwelter for me barman
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 January 2014, 07:00:19 PM
Certainly, just drawing it up from an artisan well for you now. With bowl of granite chips for proper Lakeland authenticity?
Extra gwinnetts?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 24 January 2014, 07:02:59 PM
Not many lakes near Masham, but I'll have 'em anyway  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 January 2014, 08:51:01 PM
Quote from: fsn on 24 January 2014, 06:43:41 PM
Are these organic chocolates?


Organic and freshly made as well
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 24 January 2014, 10:45:18 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 24 January 2014, 08:51:01 PM
Organic and freshly made as well

I do not, in any way, want to explore that comment :-& :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 January 2014, 10:47:30 PM
I think I just found a bit of straw in one of these chocolates.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 January 2014, 10:50:31 PM
Quote from: fsn on 24 January 2014, 10:47:30 PM
I think I just found a bit of straw in one of these chocolates.

Just proves how organic they are
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 24 January 2014, 10:51:33 PM
BLURGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 24 January 2014, 11:36:28 PM
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 24 January 2014, 11:40:47 PM
Quote from: nikharwood on 24 January 2014, 11:36:28 PM


Yeah...what he said :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 January 2014, 08:53:50 AM
Blimey! Didn't drink too much last night, but woke up like something has taken a dump in my mouth.  :(

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 January 2014, 09:11:46 AM
That'll be the ' Bad mouth badger', best mates with 'The Bad Hair Gorilla' who comes along and messes up your hair at night!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 January 2014, 09:46:38 AM
The Bad Hair Gorilla lost any reason for coming to see me years ago.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 25 January 2014, 11:12:43 AM
 
Quote from: fsn on 25 January 2014, 09:46:38 AM
The Bad Hair Gorilla lost any reason for coming to see me years ago.

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 28 January 2014, 07:31:50 PM
Barkeep! Barkeep! BARKEEP!

For goodness sake. I've just been to Scotland and they have this wonderful drink there, they call Whisky. May I have a pint please?

By the way, why are there coconuts stacked behind the bar, goats in the snug and a Yellowtail Snapper in the Ladies? Has your problem flared up, or has someone bought you a book on Caribbean cooking?

Please, I don't want pineapple in my drink!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 28 January 2014, 07:35:34 PM
Quote from: fsn on 28 January 2014, 07:31:50 PM
Barkeep! Barkeep! BARKEEP!

For goodness sake. I've just been to Scotland and they have this wonderful drink there, they call Whisky. May I have a pint please?

By the way, why are there coconuts stacked behind the bar, goats in the snug and a Yellowtail Snapper in the Ladies? Has your problem flared up, or has someone bought you a book on Caribbean cooking?

Please, I don't want pineapple in my drink!

Why were you in the Ladies?..Or did you just misread it a s laddies?... because I am sure that you wouldn't be allowed in the door marked 'Gentlemen'
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 28 January 2014, 08:13:07 PM
Well, it never gets used, and the Gents is frankly unbearable after you-know-who has been in there.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 28 January 2014, 08:23:15 PM
Quote from: fsn on 28 January 2014, 08:13:07 PM
Well, it never gets used, and the Gents is frankly unbearable after you-know-who has been in there.

Voldemort??? :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 28 January 2014, 08:29:18 PM
Completely! His volde is definitely mort.

I tried some Airwick, but frankly it's not doing the job.

I put it down to drinking stout on an empty stomach.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 January 2014, 09:04:15 PM
*Slips FSN a coconut daiquiri*

Then aims a spare coconut at his head!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 28 January 2014, 09:10:31 PM
I say! Good job that flying coconut was intercepted by that peanut flying at near light speeds!

*Pours coconut milk down harwood's neck*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 28 January 2014, 09:20:24 PM
Quote from: fsn on 28 January 2014, 09:10:31 PM
*Pours coconut milk down harwood's neck*

Y'bad b@$tard...the only things the get poured down my neck are alcoholic... :d

Grabs (redundant) spray aerosol freshener from the ladies, applies judicious use of lighter-flame and burns a route through the riffraff towards the bar...

And, in poor imitation of the locals round here, "Cider I up, landlord"  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 28 January 2014, 09:51:51 PM
Quote from: nikharwood on 28 January 2014, 09:20:24 PM
And, in poor imitation of the locals round here, "Cider I up, landlord"  :d

Music stops...

Conversation stops...

All movement stops...

You b'aint from round 'ere are you my lovely...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 January 2014, 09:53:17 PM
NO GIRLY DRINKS HERE HARWOOD!

*passes cinzano and lemonade hidden in cider bottle through secret hatch in counter*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 28 January 2014, 11:06:44 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 28 January 2014, 09:51:51 PM
Music stops...

Conversation stops...

All movement stops...

You b'aint from round 'ere are you my lovely...

It's a fair cop, guv...

Quote from: mad lemmey on 28 January 2014, 09:53:17 PM
NO GIRLY DRINKS HERE HARWOOD!

*passes cinzano and lemonade hidden in cider bottle through secret hatch in counter*

You have tried proper Somerset cider, Will, right? The stuff you don't drink if you can see through it..? Nothing girly about that stuff  8-}
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 29 January 2014, 10:23:21 AM
Quote from: nikharwood on 28 January 2014, 11:06:44 PM

You have tried proper Somerset cider, Will, right? The stuff you don't drink if you can see through it..? Nothing girly about that stuff  8-}

The Devon stuff usually has bits floating in it. Some of the bits have tails....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 January 2014, 10:58:01 AM
Quote from: nikharwood on 28 January 2014, 09:20:24 PM
And, in poor imitation of the locals round here, "Cider I up, landlord"  :d

Yes. That's not really how they talk in Middles Borough is it?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 29 January 2014, 11:41:31 AM
Quote from: fsn on 29 January 2014, 10:58:01 AM
Yes. That's not really how they talk in Middles Borough is it?

You forgot to add: "like" :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 January 2014, 01:16:46 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 29 January 2014, 11:41:31 AM
You forgot to add: "like" :D

Sorry. That's not really how they like to talk in Middles Borough is it?

*In the spirit of "the Musketeers", flings a leather jack at the person coming through the door who is ...*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 29 January 2014, 02:31:48 PM
Quote from: fsn on 29 January 2014, 01:16:46 PM
*In the spirit of "the Musketeers", flings a leather jack at the person coming through the door who is ...*

... somewhat surprised!

"Zounds! How dare you, sirrah! Name your second, I will have satisfaction!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 29 January 2014, 02:33:00 PM

picks  leather jacket off the floor



Wow  a free leather jacket!....Umm... do you have any without the girlie embossing on it
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 29 January 2014, 02:34:15 PM
Oh and please dont throw coconuts at FSN you know he is a bit shy
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 29 January 2014, 02:44:06 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 29 January 2014, 02:34:15 PM
Oh and please dont throw coconuts at FSN you know he is a bit shy

Coat
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 29 January 2014, 02:45:46 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 29 January 2014, 02:44:06 PM
Coat

No thanks I have this new brand new leather one I found on the floor
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 January 2014, 04:27:53 PM
Is Dave coming in later to buy us all a drink ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 29 January 2014, 04:29:08 PM
Dave BUY a drink ?????

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 January 2014, 05:02:58 PM
Dave's having a really swank (well as swank as you can get in Middle Borough) party. There will be beer in glasses, not drunk from the tin and I think there may even be some girls' drinks. Gosh Fellows! Do you think that means there may even be some girls? I hope they've got some of those fancy pineapple and cheese on a stick!

Anyway, I got my invite weeks ago. I must be off, it's miles away in a place called New-Castle.

*FSN leaves. Dave arrives and starts a party.*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 January 2014, 05:07:42 PM
I'll match each and every drink you lot drink tonight! I've had q day teaching preschool and need to get annihilated!

:'(

I may even play head the 1/2 lightspeed peanut tonight, not only would it cure my headache but also mean I won't have them all day tomorrow!  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 29 January 2014, 05:12:33 PM
Quote from: fsn on 29 January 2014, 05:02:58 PM
Dave's having a really swank (well as swank as you can get in Middle Borough) party. There will be beer in glasses, not drunk from the tin and I think there may even be some girls' drinks. Gosh Fellows! Do you think that means there may even be some girls? I hope they've got some of those fancy pineapple and cheese on a stick!

Anyway, I got my invite weeks ago. I must be off, it's miles away in a place called New-Castle.

*FSN leaves. Dave arrives and starts a party.*

Good luck on your trip ...Its a long old flight, but once you get to Sydney its only a 2 hour drive up the coast
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 29 January 2014, 08:40:22 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 January 2014, 05:07:42 PM
I'll match each and every drink you lot drink tonight! I've had q day teaching preschool and need to get annihilated!


Preschool?  You are mad!

I did my first TP with year 1 and in assembly I looked down to see one of em picking fluff out of my turn up (it was 1992).  I suppose your work here with FSN (aka care in the community) will put you in good stead :D

How's Sydney FSN???
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 January 2014, 09:07:32 PM
She's fine! As are all the other ladies at this party. Don't see Dave though.

I had a nice chat with Adelaide, and over there Alice is doing acrobatics.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 29 January 2014, 09:09:19 PM
Quote from: fsn on 29 January 2014, 09:07:32 PM
She's fine! As are all the other ladies at this party. Don't see Dave though.

I had a nice chat with Adelaide, and over there Alice is doing acrobatics.

She'll be right mate ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 January 2014, 09:51:30 PM
No worries.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: GordonY on 29 January 2014, 10:33:24 PM
You do know the Aussie rules of foreplay, dont you chaps?

"Brace yourself Shiela!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 30 January 2014, 08:19:45 AM
Fair dinkum ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2014, 08:41:40 AM
Oooh! I think Alice who did the acrobatics showed me her fair dinkum.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 30 January 2014, 10:37:51 AM
We'll be on to "G'day Bruce."  soon . =)  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 30 January 2014, 11:19:45 AM
Oh, it's Bruce.  G'day Bruce...Bruce here :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 30 January 2014, 12:03:53 PM
G'day Bruce.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 30 January 2014, 12:04:56 PM
Bruce ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2014, 05:38:42 PM
What ho Chaps! I have returned from Dave's party - which he didn't turn up to. There were lots of lovely ladies there, and the beach was lovely. I had nearly two glasses of wine so was quite giddy, and probably shouldn't have gone swimming with the ladies. Still, I had a lovely time. The buffet was amazing, the girl who made it was very pretty, I think her name was Barbie, and they had a game in which the girls lined up and I had to ...

What's this! Birthday cake crumbs! A discarded candle! A sock hung over the lamp! I see it all now! It was all a dastardly trap to get me out of the Forum Bar whilst you all celebrated Dave's birthday without me!

Well you're all rotten rotters and I'm not going to give you the presents I bought for you.

*Flounces out the bar, trailing eucalyptus leaves and kangaroo testicles*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 30 January 2014, 05:52:52 PM
Quote from: fsn on 30 January 2014, 05:38:42 PM
What ho Chaps! I have returned from Dave's party - which he didn't turn up to. There were lots of lovely ladies there, and the beach was lovely. I had nearly two glasses of wine so was quite giddy, and probably shouldn't have gone swimming with the ladies. Still, I had a lovely time. The buffet was amazing, the girl who made it was very pretty, I think her name was Barbie, and they had a game in which the girls lined up and I had to ...

What's this! Birthday cake crumbs! A discarded candle! A sock hung over the lamp! I see it all now! It was all a dastardly trap to get me out of the Forum Bar whilst you all celebrated Dave's birthday without me!

Well you're all rotten rotters and I'm not going to give you the presents I bought for you.

*Flounces out the bar, trailing eucalyptus leaves and kangaroo testicles*


Come back ..we didnt have a party

What happened was this.....Leon had bought a surprise birthday cake but due to Australian food import regulations we werent allowed to take it on the plane...So there we were all sitting round glumly and quite cold( its been freezing while you were away)
and Dave said

"Do you mind if I light the candle to warm my tootsies up?"

Well we all agreed  and very soon Daves toes were warming up and the rest us were playing twister when there was a shout of alarm and we realised Dave's sock was on fire

Mad Lemmey being a clever clogs grabbed a bottle of Pimms and poured it over Daves foot which put the fire out but sadly ruined the cake , which Leon took away to put in the bin at home

Of course Dave's sock was soaking by them  so we put it on the lamp to dry it out


So please dont start accusing of doing something without you until you have proof !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 January 2014, 06:03:21 PM
Must order a new bottle of Pimms (that one had a best before date of 1987 anyway).

Can someone remove the stripper please. We didn't need it, we've only just changed the wallpaper.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2014, 06:12:20 PM
Oh. OK. I suppose this "Happy Birthday Dave" sign could have been hung up over the door to dry.

And this crumpled wrapping paper could have been used to warm Dave's foot.

And this CD of "Karoke Songs for Dave's Party" could have fallen from someone's pocket.

Can't quite figure out why there's a discarded stripper in the skip though.

Oh! Chaps, I can't stay angry with you! Here you go! Best Australian beer - Fosters - for all, and a CD of the Seekers for us all to enjoy! Fenton old chap, would you like a kangaroo testicle? I have two.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 January 2014, 06:24:16 PM
Fosters.
We call that canoe s*x: F'in' close to water!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 30 January 2014, 06:25:44 PM
Way-hey...guiys, what a brilliant party...oh, hi FSN. :D

I was just saying what a brilliant part IS played by Capaldi in the Musketeers....phew :^o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2014, 06:44:35 PM
What ho Grips! Eucalyptus leaf? Makes your breath fresh and clears your head.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 30 January 2014, 06:46:57 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 30 January 2014, 06:24:16 PM
Fosters.
We call that canoe s*x: F'in' close to water!

hmmm I wonder if FSN has really been to Australia, cos everyone who's been or lived there knows you cant buy Fosters in Australia

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2014, 06:53:57 PM
Yes you can. It's imported.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 30 January 2014, 06:57:44 PM
I think you just went down to Kew gardens and nicked some eucalyptus leaves! and this kangaroo testicle ...Its just a snowball covered in trouser fluff!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2014, 07:11:26 PM
Actually, I just rubbed some cough pastilles on some oak leaves.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 January 2014, 07:52:43 PM
Menthol and tannin, yum. Much like this interesting Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon I'm about to break over someones head, spicy, rich notes, with a hint of blood and flying glass!

*woosh.... Ker-zing*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 30 January 2014, 08:01:54 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 30 January 2014, 07:52:43 PM

*woosh.... Ker-zing*

Cor your really good at comic book fighting

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 30 January 2014, 08:05:44 PM
Turns round with wine bottle sticking out back of head

Wow, this Eucalyptus leaf packs a punch...feel quite lightheaded...

falls to floor
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2014, 08:14:57 PM
Wasn't Woosh Ker-Zing a Chinese Nationalist leader in the 1920's?

*FSN throws himself to the floor, throwing faux-kangaroo testicles in all directions* 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 January 2014, 10:28:23 PM
Looks like FSN has found the warp speed peanut!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 30 January 2014, 11:36:43 PM
You lot can carry on with your kangaroo's testicles.

I'm off to un-discard the stripper  <)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 31 January 2014, 06:53:31 PM
Well I'm taking my wife out for a Chinese.  And then trying to get her into a nearby Real Ale pub.

Try not to destroy the Waterloo diorama while I'm out.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 31 January 2014, 07:24:56 PM
Ouch! That was a very hard and prolonged fall.

I seem to have landed on some Grenadiers a Pied!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 31 January 2014, 08:01:06 PM
Quote from: fsn on 31 January 2014, 07:24:56 PM
Ouch! That was a very hard and prolonged fall.

I seem to have landed on some Grenadiers a Pied!

wakes up

Eh...er...what...who peed on the grenadiers?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 31 January 2014, 08:10:21 PM
Oh no, he'll be Prussin' to fix that. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 31 January 2014, 08:30:27 PM
Well there was a little bit when I landed hard.  :-[

Excuse me, I just need to go to the ladies for a moment.

*leaves for the ladies loo, pausing only to arrange upturned Polish lancers as a caltrop like trap for any who dare follow*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 31 January 2014, 08:48:45 PM
Quote from: fsn on 31 January 2014, 08:30:27 PM
Well there was a little bit when I landed hard.  :-[

Excuse me, I just need to go to the ladies for a moment.

*leaves for the ladies loo, pausing only to arrange upturned Polish lancers as a caltrop like trap for any who dare follow*

the lady's what?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 01 February 2014, 10:32:29 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 31 January 2014, 08:48:45 PM
the lady's what?

Loo - it's down in Cornwall, I think.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 01 February 2014, 11:54:32 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 31 January 2014, 08:48:45 PM
the lady's what ?

Not for turning ?  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 02 February 2014, 08:37:35 PM
There's a thought that should be buried.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 02 February 2014, 08:44:54 PM
Could someone please remove this Polish lancer from my foot?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 02 February 2014, 08:47:01 PM
Quote from: fsn on 02 February 2014, 08:44:54 PM
Could someone please remove this Polish lancer from my foot?

Quick...someone help FSN...Mr Sheen's attacking him with a spear :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 02 February 2014, 08:48:51 PM
But it is a very nice and shiny spear.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 02 February 2014, 08:49:51 PM
It's making me limp!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 02 February 2014, 08:50:32 PM
Quote from: Techno on 02 February 2014, 08:48:51 PM
But it is a very nice and shiny spear.

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 February 2014, 08:00:06 AM
 X_X X_X X_X
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 03 February 2014, 11:13:07 AM
Quote from: fsn on 02 February 2014, 08:49:51 PM
It's making me limp!

Viagra, maybe?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 03 February 2014, 11:25:06 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 03 February 2014, 11:13:07 AM
Viagra, maybe?

Dear Lord NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :o

FSN's pills are controlled by a very strict regime; any adjustment, however small, coud upset the tenuous grip he currently has on sanity. :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 03 February 2014, 06:14:06 PM
Ooooh! I now fancy some Salt and Viagra crisps! With the little blue packet.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 03 February 2014, 06:46:18 PM
Cheesy bunion?
747?
Assault and viagra?
Hardcore and prawn?
No, that's the totty thread!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 03 February 2014, 09:58:18 PM
The blue crisps Hertsblue gave me don't half taste funny.

Is that discarded stripper still in the skip?

*notices grenado fizzing on floor from "the Musketeers" thread*

If you'll excuse me Gentlemen, I've got an award winning army to paint!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 03 February 2014, 10:37:21 PM
*Langudly picks up grenade, drops it in FSN's half finished pint of grenadine*

Litter bug!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 03 February 2014, 10:53:15 PM
Oooh! A flaming cocktail! With a very large black olive in it!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 03 February 2014, 11:20:25 PM
Quote from: fsn on 03 February 2014, 09:58:18 PM
Is that discarded stripper still in the skip?

I refer my learned friend to my previous answer... ;)

QuoteYou lot can carry on with your kangaroo's testicles.

I'm off to un-discard the stripper  <)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 February 2014, 07:46:25 AM
I really luvv you lot youu know except you  *points in a random direction*'cos you paint gooder than me. Hurry up with that skip! I'm tired. Did I tell you that I luvv  you all? Don't get out much, see? *Burp*

Anyway, I readed somewhee that British soldiers. British soldiers right? British soldiers used to fake heart disease. That's like a dickie ticker *thumps chest to illustrate 'dickie ticker' and beging coughing. Takes another swig of grenadine and grenado.* Right, so BRITISH soldiers right, used to ... now I'm not saying they do this now, 'cos they *eyes fill with tears, throat catches with emotion* they ... are  .. the best people, and we all ought to get down on our knees and pray for them every day. I do ... and I don't even believ in godd *winks knowingly*.

Has he not finished with that skip yyet? I heard the stripper laughing - you know the laugh? The wee willie winkie laugh? No. Neither do I, but I heard it anyway. *Burp, slightly solid. Slow chewing for a moment. Takes another swig.* Oh poo! The little candle thing's gone out.

Anyway, right, British soldiers used to fake heart disesases by sticking tobaccoo up their bum. Up ...  their .. bum. Right? Could you belif it? Tobaccoo up the bum. Must have been hell to light *laughs uproariously*.  Anyway, right. What I want to know is, right, look at me, look at me, right, 'cos I'm being serious.

Did I tell you I lov you all? Did I? *tears up again* 'cos without you, I've got nothing. Cept some lovely, lovely Centurions. You're all all right. All right. Anyway, what I wanted to know is who first found out that sticking tobacco up your bum mimics a heart condition?

*Finished drink with a flourish and passes out*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 08:22:16 AM
Credits roll...

"Where everybody knows your na-aaame...."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 February 2014, 09:53:51 AM
Quote from: fsn on 04 February 2014, 07:46:25 AM
I really luvv you lot youu know except you  *points in a random direction*'cos you paint gooder than me. Hurry up with that skip! I'm tired. Did I tell you that I luvv  you all? Don't get out much, see? *Burp*

Anyway, I readed somewhee that British soldiers. British soldiers right? British soldiers used to fake heart disease. That's like a dickie ticker *thumps chest to illustrate 'dickie ticker' and beging coughing. Takes another swig of grenadine and grenado.* Right, so BRITISH soldiers right, used to ... now I'm not saying they do this now, 'cos they *eyes fill with tears, throat catches with emotion* they ... are  .. the best people, and we all ought to get down on our knees and pray for them every day. I do ... and I don't even believ in godd *winks knowingly*.

Has he not finished with that skip yyet? I heard the stripper laughing - you know the laugh? The wee willie winkie laugh? No. Neither do I, but I heard it anyway. *Burp, slightly solid. Slow chewing for a moment. Takes another swig.* Oh poo! The little candle thing's gone out.

Anyway, right, British soldiers used to fake heart disesases by sticking tobaccoo up their bum. Up ...  their .. bum. Right? Could you belif it? Tobaccoo up the bum. Must have been hell to light *laughs uproariously*.  Anyway, right. What I want to know is, right, look at me, look at me, right, 'cos I'm being serious.

Did I tell you I lov you all? Did I? *tears up again* 'cos without you, I've got nothing. Cept some lovely, lovely Centurions. You're all all right. All right. Anyway, what I wanted to know is who first found out that sticking tobacco up your bum mimics a heart condition?

*Finished drink with a flourish and passes out*

Bloody Hell...I hate to see what he's like when Mad Lemmey actually puts alcohol in his drink instead of just Raspberry cordial
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 February 2014, 09:55:07 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 08:22:16 AM
Credits roll...

"Where everybody knows your na-aaame...."

Please don't ask for credit, since a sock in the teeth often offends....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 04 February 2014, 10:03:41 AM
Start a slate please, he said producing the 9mm Browning.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 February 2014, 10:05:15 AM
Cocks the sawn-off shotgun under the bar....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 04 February 2014, 10:28:07 AM
Yanks carpet from under Ian, topples shelf on Herts, waves hat in general direction of others, then swngs from chandelier while shouting "SAY, DID NO ONE EVER PLAY THAT OLD YAQUINTO GAME SWASHBUCKLER?!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 February 2014, 10:30:35 AM
And we reckon fsn's doolally!  :o :o :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 04 February 2014, 10:34:15 AM
Well, we're all mad, and I reckon FSN hasn't got ANY allies!  8-}
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 February 2014, 12:38:35 PM
Quote from: OldenBUA on 04 February 2014, 10:34:15 AM
Well, we're all mad, and I reckon FSN hasn't got ANY allies!  8-}

*From the floor*
s'true. Nobody loves me!  :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Nobody 'cept the Centruion. Lovely, lovely, Centruion.
*Curls up in a contended ball and falls asleep*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 February 2014, 05:11:43 PM
Nother round anyone?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 06:06:07 PM
Doors fly open...Grips enters dressed as pirate

Argh me hearties...been watching Black Sails have I and yer all a bunch of lousy landlubbers...

waves cutlass around dangerously

The first man to speak will die at the end of me blade...argh!

Cinzano with a twist please barman :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 February 2014, 06:14:14 PM
Why are you waving about a plastic Zorro sword with a piece of chalk in the end?...Not sure your meant to have a patch on both eyes either
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 February 2014, 06:26:58 PM
Cinzano it is Col Grips.

Fenton, the usual?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 06:28:59 PM
Aye...it is...

And a double wine gum and water for Fenton ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 February 2014, 06:30:26 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 06:28:59 PM
Aye...it is...

And a double wine gum and water for Fenton ;)

you trying to get me drunk?... and STOP drawing Z's on me Grips
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 February 2014, 06:40:20 PM
Someone tell him z goes the other way round...

:o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 06:41:47 PM
Turns Fenton upside down...

There...is that better?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 February 2014, 06:55:16 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 06:41:47 PM
Turns Fenton upside down...

There...is that better?

looks up I can see right up your nose!...Why have you got a 10mm master stuck up your nose?...Oh wait its not...Well maybe...its green anyway
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 04 February 2014, 08:15:59 PM
Did someone mention pirates?

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 10:41:54 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 04 February 2014, 06:55:16 PM
looks up I can see right up your nose!...Why have you got a 10mm master stuck up your nose?...Oh wait its not...Well maybe...its green anyway

Phil, Phil...Fenton's found your Tinkerbell sculpt :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 February 2014, 08:20:21 AM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 05 February 2014, 10:25:43 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 04 February 2014, 10:41:54 PM
Phil, Phil...Fenton's found your Tinkerbell sculpt :D

Watch out if he sneezes - that stuff's like buckshot!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 February 2014, 10:34:43 AM
The wings on the model should slow her down enough.
I don't think she'll pierce flesh. :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 05 February 2014, 10:36:30 AM
Quote from: Techno on 05 February 2014, 10:34:43 AM
The wings on the model should slow her down enough.
I don't think she'll pierce flesh. :-\

I can't believe you didn't question the concept that your sculpts look like the contents of my nostrils :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 05 February 2014, 10:43:47 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 05 February 2014, 10:36:30 AM
I can't believe you didn't question the concept that your sculpts look like the contents of my nostrils :D

Well I am sure it used to be a beautiful model but after a couple of weeks in your nostril and your finger rummaging about up there, it probably looks a right mess now
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 05 February 2014, 10:47:55 AM
I reckon that in 10mm she'd be less than 1mm tall. Calculate the muzzle velocity achieved by one of Grips's sneezes and then duck.  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 05 February 2014, 11:40:03 AM
Ah...Ah...Ah...Ah...Ah...

Wait for it...

CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41q3g4KLuTL.jpg)

Oh, there she is.  Great work Phil: you have to remind yourself she's in 10mm don't you :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 February 2014, 12:39:15 PM
You just HAD to go and paint her, didn't you Gareth !
That'll all have to be removed before she goes in the mould !
Why do I bother !! ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 05 February 2014, 02:42:19 PM
Quote from: Techno on 05 February 2014, 12:39:15 PM
You just HAD to go and paint her, didn't you Gareth !
That'll all have to be removed before she goes in the mould !
Why do I bother !! ;)


Anyone know why Phil bothers?...anyone?...

tumbleweed rolls gently past :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 February 2014, 02:48:27 PM
Opens Black Book at Gareth's page....Notices that it's almost full already ;) :P

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 05 February 2014, 02:54:14 PM
Quote from: Techno on 05 February 2014, 02:48:27 PM
Opens Black Book at Gareth's page....Notices that it's almost full already ;) :P



;D ;D ;D

I'ts my attempt to influence the judges in the painting comp...how am i doing? :D :O) 8-} <:-P m/ m/ m/
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 05 February 2014, 04:58:41 PM
Quick, catch that tumbleweed, its my bed from the back office!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 05 February 2014, 05:12:15 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 05 February 2014, 04:58:41 PM
Quick, catch that tumbleweed, its my bed from the back office!

Lemmey is beginning to sound like Oliver Twist.

He can only use the table to paint when everyone's in bed and sleeps in the back office :(

FSN...grab your quill.

Your new Panto:

Lemmerella

The story of a young (snigger) boy's struggle against his evil step mother: Leona ;D (proud of that one). :D

Along the way, he is helped by the Mad Pratter (FSN) :D and the noble, handsome and modest Colonel Grips. :-[


FSN...over to you...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 February 2014, 05:22:28 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 05 February 2014, 02:54:14 PM
I'ts my attempt to influence the judges in the painting comp...how am i doing? :D :O) 8-} <:-P m/ m/ m/

Oh....Pretty well so far, I reckon Gareth.....If it's the same system as last year, I won't be given the opportunity to give anyone 'minus' points.....(Curses !!).  ;) :P ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil



Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 05 February 2014, 08:20:59 PM
Pours several pints of PVA glue

The drinks are on me ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 05 February 2014, 10:36:26 PM
Pours a couple of pints on get2grips

Yup, the drinks are on him  :P

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 06 February 2014, 07:26:04 AM
I'll stick to the cheap shorts he said, opening a poundland superglue.

IanS   :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 February 2014, 09:29:23 PM
*Wakes up under the barmaid*

So whats happening chaps? Who's up for buying me a pint of cocoa?

*finds he's been sleeping on an assegai and carelessly throws it in the general direction of the dartboard*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 08 February 2014, 09:33:32 PM
<buys fsn a pint of cocaine, as requested>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 08 February 2014, 09:34:12 PM
OW!

removes spear from head

Oh it's you FSN

hastily stirs pot of brown ink into pint of pva glue

Here's your cocoa ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 February 2014, 09:35:57 PM
Cheers Ithoriel!

Bottoms up Grips!

*downs both drinks in one. Goes back to sleep under the barmaid*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 February 2014, 10:04:32 PM
*Polishes glasses, arrows, bullets, swords, chainmail, assagi*

Oh, this pin has fallen out of this grenade, what shall I do with it?

CATCH!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 08 February 2014, 10:05:28 PM
Who's is this pin?

Why has Lemmey got a grenade in his mouth?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 09 February 2014, 12:04:12 PM
Thumps Lemmy

THERE
[thump]
IS
[thump]
NO
[thump]
SUCH
[thump]
THING
[thump]
AS
[thump]
CHAINMAIL.
[thump][thump][thump]

The word [thump] is MAIL [thump]

GOT IT?

[thump][thump][thump]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 09 February 2014, 12:08:16 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 09 February 2014, 12:04:12 PM
Thumps Lemmy

THERE
[thump]
IS
[thump]
NO
[thump]
SUCH
[thump]
THING
[thump]
AS
[thump]
CHAINMAIL.
[thump][thump][thump]

The word [thump] is MAIL [thump]

GOT IT?

[thump][thump][thump]

IF I WANT TO CALL IT CHAIN MAIL I9 WILL

So there  >:( >:( >:( :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 09 February 2014, 12:08:49 PM
[thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][thump][t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Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 09 February 2014, 12:12:14 PM
I think he's still conscious....better give him one more. For luck.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 09 February 2014, 12:17:51 PM
Call a para medic, last Hussar just broke his fist on my CHAIN Mail.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 February 2014, 12:26:02 PM
Of course there's such a thing as chain mail. You get it through the post and then send it on to people.

There's also chain male - invented by Prince Albert.

Now. Any chance of a breakfast? My mouth tastes gummy.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 February 2014, 07:19:17 PM
Banging headache here, feel like a badger has taken up residence. Just this weird thumping sound...

Last Hussar, your chainmail is clean now, where do you want it?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 09 February 2014, 07:48:19 PM
[Throws salt water on Lemmey's Mail - and ALL other metallic bits]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 February 2014, 08:05:14 PM
Those bits are titanium, it won't corrode!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 09 February 2014, 08:42:54 PM
Well, they are anium.  What's inside is the rest of it.

[Passes aloe vera to Lemmey for the burn]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 10 February 2014, 09:03:44 AM
Quote from: fsn on 09 February 2014, 12:26:02 PM
Of course there's such a thing as chain mail. You get it through the post and then send it on to people.

There's also chain male - invented by Prince Albert.

Now. Any chance of a breakfast? My mouth tastes gummy.

Chain mail is tautology. Mail is interlocking rings by definition. Rings sewn onto leather is "proof".  :-B

No, you would hit a man with glasses, would you?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 10 February 2014, 09:08:59 AM
I suggest you type chainmail into google and see what pops up  in the advert box.

Certainy made me believe in its existance :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 February 2014, 12:54:39 PM
Will you lot stop thumping around....You're jogging the table while I'm trying to work !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 10 February 2014, 01:19:31 PM
Quote from: Techno on 10 February 2014, 12:54:39 PM
Will you lot stop thumping around....You're jogging the table while I'm trying to work !

Seriously guys...let him work in peace.

Did you see the mess he made of the Mongols???  ;D :P :) ;)

Phil, you know I'm joking right?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 February 2014, 02:39:45 PM
Black book......AGAIN !!  ;) ;D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 10 February 2014, 04:09:19 PM
Does Ker-Plunk count as working?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 10 February 2014, 05:23:20 PM
Quote from: fsn on 10 February 2014, 04:09:19 PM
Does Ker-Plunk count as working?

No - but in your case it's a therapy.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 10 February 2014, 05:36:33 PM
But that's only after you've finished your basket weaving...

Had a great weekend using booby traps with my army, so I've hidden five around the bar for you to all find, good luck.

And no, that wire isn't one, that's the security tripwire around Phil's sculpting table!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 10 February 2014, 05:57:17 PM
Ith thith puffer fith one oth your booby thraps Lemmey?

Ith painthed tarthtan so I thought it wath bagpipeth.

*Collapses under the barmaid with the puffer fish still in his armpit*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 10 February 2014, 07:26:32 PM
Ker-plunk has those sharp sticks - are we sure we should let FSN play?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 10 February 2014, 07:27:43 PM
I wondered where I put that, come on Tiddles, back to your tank.
No FSN, that wasn't one, try again!  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 10 February 2014, 07:34:59 PM
Ooooh! That's a nice Centurion. Must be one of the painting competition entries. 

*Lifts Centurion. Hears ominous rumble. Disturbed to see large round boulder bearing down on him.*

Lemmmmmeeeeyyyy?!

*squelch*


 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 10 February 2014, 08:02:00 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 10 February 2014, 05:36:33 PM
And no, that wire isn't one, that's the security tripwire around Phil's sculpting table!

Ta for doing that, Will. :)
I've wired it up to the electric fence generator as well now.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 10 February 2014, 08:15:19 PM
squelch

Ooh jam...anyone got any toast?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 10 February 2014, 08:23:58 PM
My lords, ladies and gentlemen. The Queen!

*Passes out*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 10 February 2014, 08:28:14 PM
Quote from: fsn on 10 February 2014, 08:23:58 PM
My lords, ladies and gentlemen. The Queen!


Where?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 10 February 2014, 08:31:27 PM
Nope, not that one either, that's the ice dispenser for Ithorial's small G&T at breakfast time.

Toast, who orderes toast?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 10 February 2014, 08:40:28 PM
Sorry, my mistake. It was Dave in his show outfit. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 10 February 2014, 08:41:54 PM
Quote from: fsn on 10 February 2014, 08:40:28 PM
Sorry, my mistake. It was Dave in his show outfit. 

  =O =O =O

About the same age :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 17 February 2014, 12:18:11 PM
waiting for the parcels to arrive with the bunting and paper hats and party poppers to arrive
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 17 February 2014, 12:31:32 PM
Why? Is it your birthday? Will there be jelly and ice cream? And fizzy pop?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 17 February 2014, 12:37:43 PM
No next month is my 4 year anniversary at the forum...just getting ready early...Have to order more jelly and ice cream now you come to mention it
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 17 February 2014, 12:38:10 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 17 February 2014, 12:18:11 PM
waiting for the parcels to arrive with the bunting and paper hats and party poppers to arrive

???????????
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 February 2014, 06:05:49 PM
Three gross vodka sunrise jellies, with brandy doaked fruit embedded; check. Half a pot of economy vanilla ice cream, check! You want a flake with that luv?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 17 February 2014, 06:16:39 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 17 February 2014, 06:05:49 PM
You want a flake with that luv?

No, but I'll have some nuts...you and FSN should fit the bill :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 17 February 2014, 07:11:28 PM
I'm crushed.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 17 February 2014, 07:12:37 PM
No...just crackers
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 February 2014, 07:17:33 PM
Salted? Dry roasted? 3/8 Whitworth?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 17 February 2014, 07:18:13 PM
That's a lot to shell out for
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 18 February 2014, 07:27:23 PM
Evening all. I've brought this parrot in to cheer the place up.

It says ever such a lot. Go on Tarquin, say "Targuin requests some hummus"!

He's a bit quiet. Probably 'cos it a new environment for him. He'll perk up in a mo'.

Go on. "Pass the starfruit." Go on, Targuin!

Barperson! Servitor! Bring me some real ale. That imaginary ale you sold me last night was very expensive and I had a terrible hangover this morning.

"Tarquin is in need of refreshment!" Go on, you silly old bird!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 18 February 2014, 07:32:45 PM
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his pack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,

"Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?", he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a birdMoses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiller Jesus."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 18 February 2014, 07:45:42 PM
 ;D ;D ;D

Like that a lot ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 February 2014, 08:15:15 PM
*Pours pint of real peanuts in shells for Tarquin, smashes bottle of Riggwelter into FSN's ten gallon trough.*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 18 February 2014, 08:33:00 PM
Could you add a spot of lemonade?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 February 2014, 08:37:46 PM
Make sure it IS lemonade fsn......
There are an awful lot of emptied car batteries down in the cellar. ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 February 2014, 08:52:41 PM
Lemonade top here you are.
Think that's Leonanddave looking for lead since all the church roofs in the North East have already been stolen and shipped to Nottingham! ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 18 February 2014, 09:08:41 PM
Quote from: Techno on 18 February 2014, 08:37:46 PM

There are an awful lot of emptied car batteries down in the cellar. ;)

No there aren't...apparently Nik was going use the acid to shift all the PVA off his minis...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 February 2014, 09:51:37 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 18 February 2014, 09:08:41 PM
No there aren't...apparently Nik was going use the acid to shift all the PVA off his minis...

Didn't need fecking anything to shift that rubbish  ;)

Garcon - some vino collapso tonight, methinks  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 February 2014, 11:24:30 PM
Si Baroni!
Chateau Collapso '73?

Hits like a falling brick!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 18 February 2014, 11:33:53 PM
Tres bien.

Uno mas, por favor...

Ciao, baby...  8) ;D  :D ;D 8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 February 2014, 08:10:33 AM
Bloody foreigners - throw em out....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 February 2014, 08:55:00 AM
Did you hear that? I'm sure Tarquin said "Bloody Foreigners"!

A pint of lemonade with a splash of ale for Mr Rs54!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 February 2014, 09:20:28 AM
Fresh out of lemonade, hold on...

*Grabs a passing lemming, squeezes.*
Yup, all out.

How about this CherryB from 1986? It has fruit in it so can't be alcoholic! :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 February 2014, 12:17:08 PM
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!

<holds up small furry corpse>

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO NICK THE LEMMING!!! You .......

<punches mad lemmey on the nose>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 February 2014, 12:30:02 PM
Catch that liquid spurting from the barman's nose!

It's Lemmey-nade!



Could someone direct me to the cloakroom?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 February 2014, 12:43:08 PM
OUT

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 19 February 2014, 12:43:39 PM
Quote from: fsn on 19 February 2014, 12:30:02 PM
Catch that liquid spurting from the barman's nose!

It's Lemmey-nade!



Could someone direct me to the cloakroom?

Allow me to direct you with the end of my boot
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 20 February 2014, 09:17:09 AM
Yes, we'll send your coat on to you.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 February 2014, 03:33:11 PM
Dank dou gents, dy rhinodasty is booded for dext weeb afper dat!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 February 2014, 05:54:57 PM
I'll do it, Will......I've got some micro surgical blades...(And they're sterile - ish)..Won't charge you much ! ;)
Mind you.....The bolster could do with a bit of a clean.....And I wouldn't say my needlework is 'top of the shop'.  ;D ;D :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 February 2014, 05:57:19 PM
Dat sounds gread, do you dake credid dards?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 February 2014, 06:53:29 PM
Perhaps I could help? I have an example of my needlework here - it's a bunch of peonies.  :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 February 2014, 06:56:07 PM
A BUNCH???

Oh, peonies...I thought you said pe...

Never mind >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 21 February 2014, 10:56:07 AM
Nah, they're just Mexican peasants.  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 22 February 2014, 12:13:01 AM
At what point did he say Miguel?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 22 February 2014, 06:19:04 PM
Me gal and I have split up. I just need someone to blame.  >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 February 2014, 09:04:50 PM
Really? That's awful.

Hope everything's OK.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 February 2014, 09:13:05 PM
Barman! Barman! BARMAN!

Put down that flaming torch, give the pitchfork to that deformed dwarf in the corner. Good evening deformed creature. How very ugly you are. What do you mean - mirror?

I'll have a Harwood please. You've not heard of it? It's, now let me get this right, Klear with water and Ink. No ice, but do you think a slice of lime would be presumptuous?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 24 February 2014, 09:25:18 PM
No, no, no...everyone knows a Harwood is taken with two ice cubes: enough to cool the drink, but not dilute it.

Barman - kindly hurl a Depth Charge at fsn... :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 February 2014, 09:56:38 PM
Barman - I'm sure Mr Harwood meant a cocktail of beer and vodka - please put down that torpex filled cannister!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 February 2014, 10:05:10 PM
Owwww! But it's started ticking!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 25 February 2014, 08:16:43 AM
It's all right. It won't go off until it has fifty feet of water over it. Chuck it down the loo....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 February 2014, 02:17:49 PM
Gimme a 'Lemmey'. 

A bit alcoholic
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 25 February 2014, 02:37:26 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 25 February 2014, 02:17:49 PM
Gimme a 'Lemmey'. 

A bit alcoholic

I'll have an FSN; it's like a Lemmey but more complicated and with added nuts :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 February 2014, 02:52:09 PM
Gimme a 'Leon' - Comes back to haunt you at 2 in the morning.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 February 2014, 03:08:10 PM
I'll have a 'Forum' please  A little bit of everything in the glass, wait 2 hours and see what crap comes out the other end
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 February 2014, 03:08:59 PM
Pint of petrol, I'll syphon it from that large green thing rumbling in't corner.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 25 February 2014, 03:41:12 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 25 February 2014, 03:08:10 PM
I'll have a 'Forum' please  A little bit of everything in the glass, wait 2 hours and see what crap comes out the other end

=O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 February 2014, 04:16:03 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 25 February 2014, 03:08:10 PM
I'll have a 'Forum' please  A little bit of everything in the glass, wait 2 hours and see what crap comes out the other end

I don't think you have to wait two hours, Steve.
A lot of the time it seems to work MUCH faster than that. ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 25 February 2014, 04:22:23 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 25 February 2014, 03:08:10 PM
I'll have a 'Forum' please  A little bit of everything in the glass, wait 2 hours and see what crap comes out the other end

(http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p61/get2grips/75xsm_zps4d3dca31.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 February 2014, 04:54:28 PM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 February 2014, 07:03:01 PM
I'll just have a Dave, rarely seen but occasionally works well!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 25 February 2014, 07:15:01 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 25 February 2014, 07:03:01 PM
I'll just have a Dave, rarely seen but occasionally works well!

;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 February 2014, 07:20:04 PM
I was thinking of having a 'Techno' but I reckon its just green chartreuse, and when I get it I just seem to push it round the bottom of the glass with the funny shaped straw
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 February 2014, 07:21:44 PM
Lets see who this fits:

Blue Bols and Lemonade!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 February 2014, 07:36:31 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 25 February 2014, 07:21:44 PM
Lets see who this fits:

Blue Bols and Lemonade!


We have a forum member called Electric Lemonade??
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 February 2014, 08:06:26 PM
I'll have a double double vodka, doubled.

One last hussar before I pass out.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 February 2014, 08:07:08 PM
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

We're big tough, manly ('scuse Marie) wargamers. We know our knobkerries from our assegais and can spot a badly painted waffenfarbe at 10 paces. (Used to be 30, but me eyes have gone a bit.) We cheerfully attack Alexander and all his Companions with a handful of scythed chariots; we stand solidly in square against oncoming Cuirassier; we hurl (at a rather sedate pace) our Matildas against a line of 88mm guns with our heads sticking out the turret, a silk scarf blowing in the wind and a merry quip on our lips.

We are the glace cherries in the Pendraken fruit cocktail; the wildebeest in the Pendraken Safari Park; the black crisp in the Pendraken ready salted. With acrylic or enamel; PVA or epoxy; green stuff or Plasticine we are the War-gamers who command thousands; historians who know the bore of a Brown Bess; modellers who risk permanent eye strain and an eerie faraway stare (see photos of Techno) to gather together a collection of metal figures that honours the fighting man of old.  

We are the Pendraken Forum.

NONE of us drink Blue Bols.
 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 February 2014, 08:09:45 PM
Bet you a Mats bar someone does...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 February 2014, 08:11:39 PM
why do we have to know about FSN's Knob?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 February 2014, 08:21:50 PM
In that case I resign.

I can stand the company of those who wargame the League of Bloody Ausberg; I can patronise Fantasy gamers and I have myself dabbled in other scales (but I didn't inhale).  I can admit that some tattoos can be mildly attractive; admit that Aztecs may not be for me, but they're fine if you want, and hold reasonable discourse with a man who thinks an MG42 is better than a Vickers gun (in fact he's right). I can sympathise with lager drinkers, have a friendly conversation with those who think that Bourbon is a drink and not metal polish, and I can even restrain myself from muttering insults at wine buffs.  

But I draw the line at Blue Bols!  

Next thing is there will be, and I'm sorry that I have to say this, but nipples in the Top Totty thread, people will ask sensible questions and the thread will not degenerate within two pages, and people will be nice to me.

This is the thin edge of the wedge!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 25 February 2014, 08:45:07 PM
Quote from: fsn on 25 February 2014, 08:21:50 PM

Next thing is...people will be nice to me.


Never happen.

Bar-steward, knock the top off that blue stuff over there, will you? :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 25 February 2014, 09:27:29 PM
Hi everyone...what did I miss?

Pint of Blue Bols please :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 February 2014, 09:48:00 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 February 2014, 11:08:17 PM
Quote from: nikharwood on 25 February 2014, 08:45:07 PM
Never happen.

Bar-steward, knock the top off that blue stuff over there, will you? :d

Um, I have to agree with FSN about the Blue Bols.

I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 February 2014, 11:48:15 PM
<looks up groggily>

Sorry ... wha? ... who's got blue balls?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 26 February 2014, 12:09:22 AM
Mad Lemmeys CENSORED
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 26 February 2014, 08:08:08 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 25 February 2014, 11:48:15 PM
<looks up groggily>

Sorry ... wha? ... who's got blue balls?

Pappa Smurf.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 February 2014, 08:24:41 AM
Who on Earth is 'Rappa Smurf' ?
One of these alternative (so called) musicians I've never heard of.


Oh sorry.....You're sadly right fsn.....My eyes haven't started focusing properly yet.
Cheers - @-)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 26 February 2014, 10:02:17 AM
Blue Bols! Are you mad? That's bloody paraffin - put that fag out!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 26 February 2014, 10:06:36 AM
Eh...what? :-/

Whilst lighting huge Havanna cigar
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 February 2014, 11:46:20 AM
Oh great. X_X

Time to redecorate the bar again.
Where's the niff of something roasting coming from ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 26 February 2014, 11:47:01 AM
It's your eyebrows!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 26 February 2014, 12:01:37 PM
WAS his eyebrows :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 February 2014, 02:09:00 PM
I know what THAT smells like.....Trust me.
Cheers - Techno the Human Fireball.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 26 February 2014, 02:14:59 PM
Quote from: Techno on 26 February 2014, 02:09:00 PM

Cheers - Techno the Human Fireball.

SEE, I told you, he has got a talent. :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 26 February 2014, 04:12:49 PM
Bad one for a Welshman, don't they spend most of their time underground hacking coal, and singing load and FLAT.

ianS  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 26 February 2014, 05:26:28 PM
After the afternoon I've had, where I've had to break up a real fight at my new school you lot had better be coconstructive with your damage tonight!  :d

Btw, no one has found my bbooby-traps yet...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Matt J on 26 February 2014, 05:35:34 PM
must've been a bad day, you've developed a stutter. I'm sure there's a drink for that..
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 26 February 2014, 05:41:49 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 26 February 2014, 05:26:28 PM


Btw, no one has found my bbooby-traps yet...

Thats cos no one has taken up your offer of wearing the 'lucky' road runner costume yet
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 26 February 2014, 05:45:40 PM
Ummm. I tried flouncing out last night after the Blue Bols fiasco, but seem to have been caught up on this giant spider's web. So, sorry to disturb everyone, but a) is this one of your traps, Lemmey? and b) does anyone have a really big rolled up newspaper?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 26 February 2014, 05:56:42 PM
This bar is turning into the Haunted House board game
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 26 February 2014, 06:26:36 PM
Yup, that's one FSN...

Fenton, just step on that dartboard on the floor to your left, and kindly ignore that anvil above you! ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 26 February 2014, 06:33:17 PM
steps on dartboard

I'm going to get a custard pie in the face aren't I?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 26 February 2014, 06:54:19 PM
What does "Shelob" mean?

I think I need a really, really big newspaper.

Or a shoe?


Anyone?


Please?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 26 February 2014, 07:40:29 PM
Fenton: Yup!
(http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc94/madlemmey/Hungarians%202014/cfad8ddc-0cb0-4ce4-a687-99621b1b473c_zps3a960df0.jpg) (http://s214.photobucket.com/user/madlemmey/media/Hungarians%202014/cfad8ddc-0cb0-4ce4-a687-99621b1b473c_zps3a960df0.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 26 February 2014, 09:37:36 PM
Quote from: fsn on 26 February 2014, 06:54:19 PM
What does "Shelob" mean?


It means NASHTY LITTUL PRESHUSH....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 26 February 2014, 10:20:36 PM
Boob Trap?

http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/811846 (http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/811846)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 26 February 2014, 10:35:47 PM
Cor!..I thought you just ordered what you want from the ACME catalogue
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 27 February 2014, 08:19:48 AM
Quote from: fsn on 26 February 2014, 06:54:19 PM
What does "Shelob" mean?


Literally - toss me that woman....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 27 February 2014, 07:51:08 PM
Women make you a tosser?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 February 2014, 08:11:34 PM
I spend the night stuck on that web, hardly got any sleep. Thanks for you help chaps.  :P Fortunately I was cut free by a peanut doing near light speed.

What do you think this lump on my arm is? It feels itchy and it's a bit red.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 27 February 2014, 08:30:25 PM
From here it looks like an  'OH DARK LORD GRANT US AZTECS' tattoo
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 February 2014, 08:35:37 PM
What is moving under the skin?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 February 2014, 08:53:44 PM
That's how they spawn the figures, always wondered!

Thought that peanut might have decelerated by now, wonder how well the pork scratchings are doing in the gamma wave generator glass washer?

Who ordered the Bailey's and creme d'menthe shandy?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 27 February 2014, 09:15:49 PM
Quote from: fsn on 27 February 2014, 08:11:34 PM
I spend the night stuck on that web, hardly got any sleep.

Did you really spend the WHOLE night drooling over the Pendraken website?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 27 February 2014, 10:27:01 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 27 February 2014, 08:53:44 PM
Who ordered the Bailey's and creme d'menthe shandy?

Actually mine was a Bailey's and Absinthe shandy, sorry must be my Scottish accent.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 February 2014, 10:40:16 PM
That clears that up, I'll just pop this in the centrifuge and then add the absenthe.
What a waste...

Of lemonade!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 February 2014, 10:47:52 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 27 February 2014, 09:15:49 PM
Did you really spend the WHOLE night drooling over the Pendraken website?

Yup. I think that's what's caused the rash.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 28 February 2014, 11:18:44 PM
Well, for a Friday night, itsh a bit bloody fecking quiet in here...

Time to break out the meths?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 February 2014, 11:22:02 PM
Most people drink it round here rather than trying to break it Nik!

Pass the bitters, I fancy a pink gin!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 28 February 2014, 11:28:51 PM
Will...will you stop with the girly-drinks FFS?!??!

Time to down a couple pints of Blue Bol, methinks.

Fancy a turps chaser?  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 February 2014, 11:35:27 PM
Maybe time for a rainbow:
red wine
Vodka and orange
Yellow chartreuse
Creme dè menthè
Blue Bols
Snakebite and black
Kir royal.

Put it in a pint glass, enjoy.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 28 February 2014, 11:36:46 PM
Sounds good to me. I'll have three  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 01 March 2014, 03:05:04 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 27 February 2014, 08:30:25 PM
From here it looks like an  'OH DARK LORD GRANT US AZTECS' tattoo
Where can I get one?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 March 2014, 06:55:06 AM
Just jump in that web over there fiercekitty, there's a lady you'll be dieing to meet!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 01 March 2014, 08:49:28 AM
Someone catch that da*med cat and throw it out, it's getting nosier than the whines about sill 'ats.


Also - please read the notice at the door -

NO MEZOAMERICANS of FV4000 SERIES VEHICLES ADMITTED.

So FSN - GET THAT TANK OUT

IanS  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 March 2014, 08:52:57 AM
Left hand down a bit... Easy... Easy... Straightenstraight back now... up....

Cor, its difficult enough navigating FSN to the vehicle, let alone letting him drive it! One of you guys can be in charge of getting him out!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 02 March 2014, 11:57:51 AM
He will try to hold himself in it and kick scream and bite when you try to get him out.

Just have that shot of sedative ready.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 02 March 2014, 12:01:06 PM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 02 March 2014, 11:57:51 AM


Just have that shot of sedative ready.



Don't worry I have the latest 2x4 sedative ready ...recommended by the Uzbekistan Health Authority apparently
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 02 March 2014, 12:16:08 PM
Don't worry about him steering, set it in go and leave it, it'll make its own door. Scuse me, just going through to t'back

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 02 March 2014, 12:18:49 PM
s'alright. I can manage.

Where do you want the new door?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 03 March 2014, 02:43:55 PM
Quote from: fsn on 02 March 2014, 12:18:49 PM

Where do you want the new door?

Tempting...very tempting... :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 03 March 2014, 08:47:43 PM
A sunroof would be nice!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 03 March 2014, 08:56:37 PM
Hang on, let's see what elevation I can get ...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 04 March 2014, 07:23:59 AM
No FSN you need the blue pills to get elevation at your age!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 March 2014, 07:58:24 AM
The light blue or the dark blue? Or the turquoise blue? Or the special blue that tastes of Nottinghamshire?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 04 March 2014, 08:07:24 AM
Quote from: fsn on 04 March 2014, 07:58:24 AM
Or the special blue that tastes of Nottinghamshire?

The fact you can actually construct that sentence is exceptionally worrying :O) 8-} <:-P =P~ :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 March 2014, 08:49:01 AM
And congratulations to Gareth for making the 1,000th reply to this most informative of threads ! ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 March 2014, 09:04:44 AM
Phil, you never cease to amaze me. You are always the one who spots the little occasions on the uphill trek through life. You weren't a cricket statistician in a previous existence, were you?  :D   
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 04 March 2014, 09:51:46 AM
Quote from: Techno on 04 March 2014, 08:49:01 AM
And congratulations to Gareth for making the 1,000th reply to this most informative of threads ! ;)
Cheers - Phil

I thank you  ;)

Also, I think the 1000th reply sums this thread up rather nicely :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 March 2014, 10:04:18 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 04 March 2014, 09:04:44 AM
Phil, you never cease to amaze me. You are always the one who spots the little occasions on the uphill trek through life. You weren't a cricket statistician in a previous existence, were you?  :D   

I just do not know WHY I spot these things  ;D ;D ;D ;D.....My eyes must be drawn to zeros.....Though I have spotted we're only 13 members short of hitting another 100 there !
Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 March 2014, 07:28:05 PM
Friday night, waiting for the rush...

Happy hour was a flop, three blokes nursing a pint of mild each and moaning about their piles/wives/jobs/mistresses/divorce/offshore bank accounts/taxes on their Ferrari...

No, hold on, that was just Top Gear on Dave!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: paulr on 07 March 2014, 08:13:09 PM
Quote from: Techno on 04 March 2014, 10:04:18 AM
I just do not know WHY I spot these things  ;D ;D ;D ;D.....My eyes must be drawn to zeros.....Though I have spotted we're only 13 members short of hitting another 100 there !
Cheers - Phil.

Are you sure its zeros and not round pairs .... 100

or is that a different thread  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 07 March 2014, 08:39:02 PM
Evening barkeep, you old ... old ... what exactly are you?

It's cold out. Think I might pop into the microwave for a short spin. Have warm towels ready for me in approximately 4 minutes on defrost!

... and a pint of cashews and a packet of your best bitter.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 March 2014, 08:54:18 PM
Ping!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 07 March 2014, 08:59:49 PM
Thank you. Oh! The Noddy towels.

Goody.

Who's in tonight? The usual riff-raff and ne'er-do-wells? 

I thought we were celebrating Leon's nuptials tonight in the traditional manner? So where are the meerkats and cocktail sausages?
   
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 March 2014, 09:30:06 PM
Still waiting for Techno to finish sculpting the Meerkat. Cocktail sausages are behind the lobster bisque and next to the caviar selection. This time try not to put the fois... Erm... goose pate stuff on your baked potato!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 07 March 2014, 10:07:00 PM
Hope there's plenty baked beans with that caviar.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 07 March 2014, 10:32:59 PM
Evenin' all.

Hard, long week - mine's a cyanide  :d

With a pasty chaser...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 07 March 2014, 11:10:19 PM
Make mine a vodka...double...RUSSIAN!!!

eyes patrons for potential arguments
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 March 2014, 01:01:31 AM
Red fanta for Nik, smells strangely of roasted almonds.

Get2grips one 'vodka', not sure about its source, Bulgarian maybe?

Can someone drag FSN out of the beans, it's not fun to pick the dandruff out of the juice!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 08 March 2014, 10:05:18 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 08 March 2014, 01:01:31 AM

Can someone drag FSN out of the beans, it's not fun to pick the dandruff out of the juice!!


Nah, that's a small price to pay for having him happy and quiet.  :-bd
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 08 March 2014, 12:10:42 PM
Pass me FSN's pint - I need to vomit - BAKED BEANS - yet again

IanS  :) :-& :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 08 March 2014, 12:50:23 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 08 March 2014, 12:10:42 PM
Pass me FSN's pint - I need to vomit - BAKED BEANS - yet again

IanS  :) :-& :-& :-&

Here you go...spew in this

hands Ian pint pot

FSN...your cocktail's ready :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 March 2014, 01:03:40 PM
Oooh! Lovely ... and ... warm.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 March 2014, 01:25:06 PM
Oi!

No short measures.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 08 March 2014, 04:41:36 PM
I'm spewing as much as I can......

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 09 March 2014, 09:58:12 AM
To quote Harold Steptoe, "You are revolting...!"  :-& :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 09 March 2014, 12:11:45 PM
I'm not THAT bad - I have a shower at least ones per month  ;)

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 09 March 2014, 12:13:40 PM
Luxury!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 09 March 2014, 12:15:21 PM
This thread just doesn't want to leave page 69. I wonder why.
   Innocent Isabelle.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:04:21 PM
Come,
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:04:34 PM
Come,
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:04:46 PM
Gentlemen,
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:04:58 PM
May
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:05:10 PM
accord
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:05:27 PM
break
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:05:49 PM
out
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:06:01 PM
on
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:06:14 PM
page
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:06:28 PM
70!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:06:41 PM
How long is a page!?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 09 March 2014, 01:13:52 PM
Quote from: fsn on 09 March 2014, 01:06:41 PM
How long is a page!?

When you're posting: too! :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 09 March 2014, 10:55:01 PM
Some people on this forum can be quite hurtful.

And me on my 2000th post too!

Barman! A pint of proper British beer for everyone!

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

*FSN falls backward off his stool*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leon on 09 March 2014, 10:56:59 PM
Quote from: fsn on 09 March 2014, 10:55:01 PM
And me on my 2000th post too!

Congratulations!  An absinthe and Aftershock bomb for that man!

:D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 09 March 2014, 11:24:52 PM
Congrats FSN!
FSN?
FSN?

Oh well, someone get his wallet he's buying real beer! Watch that piano on that bit of bailer twine over there, it's a hair trigger linked to that crossbow!
And someone sober up Ian! We need that glass back.
Cheers lads!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 09 March 2014, 11:26:02 PM
12 hours and 40 minutes and I will have been a member of the forum for 4 years
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 10 March 2014, 05:58:22 AM
The most transparent and lucid attempt to inflate one's number of posts that I have ever seen, fsn!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 10 March 2014, 08:08:28 AM
I was just trying to get to page 70. Honest. Didin't even notice how close to 2000 posts I was ... look at that piece of bailer twine there, someone could trip over that ....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 10 March 2014, 08:09:37 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 09 March 2014, 11:26:02 PM
12 hours and 40 minutes and I will have been a member of the forum for 4 years

Oh dear. Never mind, we can't all live useful lives.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 10 March 2014, 08:16:29 AM
Quote from: fsn on 10 March 2014, 08:09:37 AM
Oh dear. Never mind, we can't all live useful lives.

What were you saying about being hurtful?  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 10 March 2014, 11:09:42 AM
Never mind hurtful! What is he implying about membership of the forum? That's four years of adding to the sum total of human experience, that is! :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 10 March 2014, 12:31:48 PM
I was only following the visions I had had...Join it and HE will come
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 10 March 2014, 12:34:22 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 10 March 2014, 12:31:48 PM
I was only following the visions I had had...Join it and HE will come

Hello!




Hang on ... I'm only 300 posts behind Fenton!

My life is worthless!  
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 10 March 2014, 12:40:26 PM
Well if you take out about the year and a half I didnt have internet access for various reasons you seem to be right on schedule
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 10 March 2014, 01:06:50 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 10 March 2014, 12:40:26 PM
the year and a half I didnt have internet access

:o :o :o

I would rather gnaw off my own arm :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 10 March 2014, 01:07:49 PM
In all honesty it doesnt take very long not to miss it..I got a lot more painted thats for sure
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 10 March 2014, 01:15:18 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 10 March 2014, 01:07:49 PM
..I got a lot more painted thats for sure

For sure: we recently booted Sky into touch (repeated films, no Prem Rugby etc etc) and my work rate has increased massively :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 10 March 2014, 01:28:05 PM
I have BT for the internet and Freeview plus some naughty download sites for TV series  ...least I get to watch the rugby for free thru it plus the odd football game
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: GordonY on 11 March 2014, 08:04:38 AM
No Interwebz.................

My definition of hell.

I remember when it was broke for 2 days, I was like a lost soul, I'll just go and play a bit of WoW, no I wont needs Interwebz, I'll go and buy some figures from that chappy Leon, no I wont needs Interwebz, just about everything that crossed my mind for those 2 days seemed to need internet access. I was ever so glad when it came back on.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 11 March 2014, 08:15:29 AM
Yeah, it's like cocain - you don't miss it 'til you can't get it.  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 11 March 2014, 08:30:02 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 11 March 2014, 08:15:29 AM
Yeah, it's like cocain - you don't miss it 'til you can't get it.  :'( :'( :'(

Anything you want to share... ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 11 March 2014, 08:31:52 AM
We're sharing it now.  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: goat major on 11 March 2014, 08:39:43 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 10 March 2014, 01:28:05 PM
plus some naughty download sites for TV series 

is that different to download sites for naughty TV series ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 11 March 2014, 07:48:38 PM
Quiet in here tonight, did The Dark Lord lock the door on the way out?
Hello...




Guys....



Anyone...


Oh well, time to check the optics! Hic!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 11 March 2014, 08:00:54 PM
Lemmey? Lemmey!! That's not an optic ... it's a soap dispenser!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 11 March 2014, 08:15:23 PM
Is it! That's why I keep getting bubbles in my drinks!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 11 March 2014, 08:31:31 PM
Explains why you're foaming at the mouth...now, why is FSN? :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 11 March 2014, 09:05:18 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 11 March 2014, 08:31:31 PM
.now, why is FSN? :-\

A very deep question Gareth.  :-\ ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 11 March 2014, 09:09:22 PM
Because every story has to have one
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 11 March 2014, 09:25:40 PM
Quote from: Techno on 11 March 2014, 09:05:18 PM
A very deep question Gareth.  :-\ ;)
Cheers - Phil

Quote from: Fenton on 11 March 2014, 09:09:22 PM
Because every story has to have one

=O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 11 March 2014, 09:53:50 PM
(http://graphics.ucsd.edu/~iman/SoapBubbles/Soap_bubbles_RGB.png)

Oops! Sorry, I hiccuped!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 11 March 2014, 10:08:48 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 March 2014, 08:10:54 AM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The question again, is why ? ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 12 March 2014, 08:25:42 AM
I think I mixed up my Tuesday pill with Steradent again.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 12 March 2014, 10:03:50 AM
I thought we'd confiscated your false teeth on health and safety grounds? Our health and safety, that is....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 March 2014, 10:19:40 AM
Health and sanity, more like !  ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 12 March 2014, 12:03:58 PM
Sanity - Phil you are imagining sunshine !!

ianS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 12 March 2014, 12:04:53 PM
Funnily enough my teeth are real.

The rest of me though ...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 12 March 2014, 07:47:02 PM
fsn could have been a paralympian, on account both his legs are shorter than the other
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 March 2014, 04:53:03 PM
I had an look and you're right. Neither of them reaches the ground.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 13 March 2014, 05:32:02 PM
They definitely won't if Ithorial doesn't put that chainsaw down!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 13 March 2014, 06:07:55 PM
<laughs>

It's not a chainsaw, it's a dwarven automatic repeating crossbow.

Weird looking thing though, not surprised you couldn't identify it.

Can't work out where the trigger is .... oops!

EVERYBODY DUCK!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 13 March 2014, 06:08:38 PM
Quack?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 13 March 2014, 06:33:54 PM
Somebody need a doctor?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 March 2014, 07:10:09 PM
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 13 March 2014, 07:58:20 PM
Pull yourself together......
Doc....I think I've got Tom Jones syndrome.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 13 March 2014, 08:10:18 PM
It's not unusual...

Doc, I think I'm invisible...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 13 March 2014, 08:21:37 PM
Next!

Doc, I think I'm a dog...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 13 March 2014, 08:50:28 PM
Off the couch. Bad Boy

Doctor there's a fly in my soup.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 March 2014, 09:39:08 PM
How does he smell?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 14 March 2014, 08:19:14 AM
Got that out of our system, have we?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 16 March 2014, 08:30:11 PM
Uses the ancient art of 'ecky-Thump on HertsBlue
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 March 2014, 12:09:55 AM
Just got back after a 4 hour drive from Scotland. Very sad after leaving my daughter. Need a nightcap before I turn in.

Chaps?

Chaps? Where has everyone gone?

"Oh flower of Scotland, when shallwe see ..."


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 March 2014, 12:21:54 AM
Wait ... you drove to Scotland and abandoned your daughter?? Isn't it more traditional to wait 'til she goes to Uni and then move house before she comes back for the holidays?  :P

So, she's here because ... job? ... uni? ... burning desire to take part in the referendum?

    On Children
    Kahlil Gibran

    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
    which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them,
    but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

    You are the bows from which your children
    as living arrows are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
    and He bends you with His might
    that His arrows may go swift and far.
    Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
    For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
    so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 March 2014, 12:36:12 AM
That's a profound poem.

She's at uni in Stirling.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 March 2014, 01:25:48 AM
Quote from: fsn on 19 March 2014, 12:36:12 AM
That's a profound poem.

From "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran, pretty much sums up my view of parenthood and is one of my favourite pieces of poetry.

Quote from: fsn on 19 March 2014, 12:36:12 AM
She's at uni in Stirling.

My older son went there. Beautiful campus. He really enjoyed it, hope she does too. He went from  being shy and quiet to being head of the student radio station and a regular DJ at the weekly student discos (if students have discos these days!). Be warned :)

What year is she in?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 19 March 2014, 11:38:52 AM
Look up This be the verse by Philip Larkin, on the subject of parenthood. It might be censored if I quoted it.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 March 2014, 11:45:38 AM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 19 March 2014, 11:38:52 AM
Look up This be the verse by Philip Larkin, on the subject of parenthood. It might be censored if I quoted it.

So cynical and depressing and so far from my experience of childhood and fatherhood.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 19 March 2014, 11:56:52 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 19 March 2014, 11:45:38 AM
So cynical and depressing and so far from my experience of childhood and fatherhood.

Agreed.  I like both poems for different reasons but the one you posted, Ithoriel is exquisite :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 March 2014, 12:35:06 PM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 19 March 2014, 01:25:48 AM
My older son went there. Beautiful campus. He really enjoyed it, hope she does too. He went from  being shy and quiet to being head of the student radio station and a regular DJ at the weekly student discos (if students have discos these days!). Be warned :)

What year is she in?

She was never shy to begin with. Takes after her mother that way. She loves it - but now talks in an odd Scottish/Geordie/Irish accent. I blame her room mates.

Mid way through third year - just another one to go after that.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 19 March 2014, 07:26:32 PM
Poetry?  Look at the thread title you bunch of wet blouses.

Have that.

And THAT

And a bit of THAT.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 March 2014, 07:40:40 PM
Oooh! Thank you.

Peonies, lilac and rose petals.

How sweet.

Pint of Throat-Ripper? 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 March 2014, 08:13:26 PM
One listerine and lemonade sir.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 March 2014, 08:23:31 PM
Hoi!

Where's the daffodil?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 20 March 2014, 08:23:50 AM
Down in the cellar, fetching some ice.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 March 2014, 08:37:59 AM
Watch out for the Polar Bear, he hasn't been fed in a week or two!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 20 March 2014, 08:42:10 AM
Haven't we told you before about keeping carnivores as pets?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 March 2014, 08:51:00 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 20 March 2014, 08:42:10 AM
Haven't we told you before about keeping carnivores as pets?

I'm sorry, but FSN will insist on eating meat :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 20 March 2014, 01:12:33 PM
And what prey is wrong with eating meat.

Is the Polar Bear behind the door marked "BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD" ?

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 March 2014, 01:22:50 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 20 March 2014, 01:12:33 PM

Is the Polar Bear behind the door marked "BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD" ?


Oh, you spotted that then... :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 March 2014, 01:44:10 PM
Since when have we had a local planning department in amongst the beer barrels ?
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 20 March 2014, 01:58:57 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 20 March 2014, 01:22:50 PM
Oh, you spotted that then... :D

Polar Bear behind the door marked leopard?

You Cheetah you

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 March 2014, 02:01:01 PM
Quote from: Techno on 20 March 2014, 01:44:10 PM
Since when have we had a local planning department in amongst the beer barrels ?
Cheers - Phil

Since, what is now referred to as: "the incident."

The one involving FSN, Fenton, Mad Lemmey and the 5 gallon drum of salad cream (couldn't spell maonnai...mayonai...maionnay...salad cream it is)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 March 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 20 March 2014, 02:01:01 PM
(couldn't spell maonnai...mayonai...maionnay...salad cream it is)

;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 March 2014, 03:33:31 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 20 March 2014, 02:01:01 PM
Since, what is now referred to as: "the incident."The one involving FSN, Fenton, Mad Lemmey and the 5 gallon drum of salad cream (couldn't spell maonnai...mayonai...maionnay...salad cream it is)

Ohhhhh.....The time when we had to call in the Professional Crime Scene Clean Up team......That memory still makes me shudder.
I'd forgotten that's the reason why fsn walks like John Wayne.  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 March 2014, 04:16:55 PM
I still can't look a jar of Heinz in the face.  :(

I'm still in contact with the Clean Up crew. Sent me a lovely Xmas card, and Manuel, you remember Manuel?  He's the one who look one look and then curled up in the foetal position, well, he's a lot better and has been moved to a day ward.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 20 March 2014, 05:56:42 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 20 March 2014, 01:12:33 PM
And what prey is wrong with eating meat.

IanS

Prey don't usually eat meat.  Pray get your homophones correct.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 20 March 2014, 05:57:10 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 20 March 2014, 05:56:42 PM
Prey don't usually eat meat.  They are the meat.

Pray get your homophones correct.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 20 March 2014, 06:09:31 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 20 March 2014, 05:56:42 PM
get your homophones correct.

Fnarr fnarr...he said homophones... :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 March 2014, 06:15:26 PM
Hate to see his homographs then!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 March 2014, 07:23:07 PM
Night, Knight Will.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 March 2014, 07:44:43 PM
But which witch is which Techno?

*Sharpens chainsaw*

Scuse me, we need more ice, someone ordered a polar bear frappacino.
I think, there was some comments about bear behind and the ice maker being on so cold it would freeze hell.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 March 2014, 08:22:20 PM
Those are both 'phones' aren't they ?
(Said he, starting to worry)

If you like, I'll put the dog on the lead and take a walk up to the old lead mine...... (Graph ?)
And anyway....If you chop my fingers off I won't send you pics of the new picts (Oh, come on....that nearly works) tomorrow. :P ;)

AND I WIN THE PRIZE FOR POST NUMBER........111111

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 20 March 2014, 08:33:15 PM
Stops chandelier in mid-swing

I was just about to say that!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 March 2014, 10:09:21 PM
Well done Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 March 2014, 07:54:36 AM
Gosh !
I wonder what I've won !
Maybe the fossilized fruit salad, still in its original wrapping, stuck at the back of Leon's top drawer.
(I can dream, can't I ?) ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 March 2014, 08:15:54 AM
Actually it's this numeric 1 peeled off next door's wheelie bin. Now you can say "One won! One won one '1' ".
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 21 March 2014, 08:30:13 AM
That is so convoluted it could probably bite its own a**e!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 21 March 2014, 09:11:14 AM
why would you win a prize for post number 63..I dont get it..maybe I am being too logical about it though
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 10:41:54 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 21 March 2014, 09:11:14 AM
why would you win a prize for post number 63..I dont get it..maybe I am being too logical about it though

There are 10 types of people in the world ... and nine of them don't understand binary  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 10:45:49 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 10:41:54 AM
There are 10 types of people in the world ... and nine of them don't understand binary  :P

Either of them: 1+1=10 :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 March 2014, 10:48:29 AM
Very good....
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 10:49:48 AM
11 cheers for Phil...

Hip hip :D :D :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 10:58:02 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 10:45:49 AM
Either of them: 1+1=10 :D

Nonsense - 8 + 8 = 10
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 21 March 2014, 10:58:54 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 10:58:02 AM
Nonsense - 8 + 8 = 10

;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 11:17:47 AM
1010011010...the number of the beast  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 21 March 2014, 11:24:37 AM
I always thought it was 29A
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 11:24:50 AM
Quote from: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 11:17:47 AM
1010011010...the number of the beast  :d

29A is the Number of the Beast ... I'm just not sure of the street name  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 11:25:33 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 21 March 2014, 11:24:37 AM
I always thought it was 29A

Quote from: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 11:24:50 AM
29A is the Number of the Beast ... I'm just not sure of the street name  ;D

Great minds? Or ....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 21 March 2014, 11:27:08 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 11:24:50 AM
29A is the Number of the Beast ... I'm just not sure of the street name  ;D

Maybe its only the number if you use a hex to summon him
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 11:27:37 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 11:25:33 AM
Great minds? Or ....

Er...definitely or  ;D

Someone's going to get really angry in a minute; if the poetry upset them, what the hell is this going to do...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 11:28:29 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 21 March 2014, 11:27:08 AM
Maybe its only the number if you use a hex to summon him

=D> =D> =D>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 March 2014, 11:37:54 AM
Quote from: Fenton on 21 March 2014, 11:27:08 AM
Maybe its only the number if you use a hex to summon him

If you use Hex to summon him don't you get an "Out of Cheese" error?

(http://www.pjsmprints.com/images/stickers/anthill-computercase-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 11:39:29 AM
Weird... :o

I ws just thinking we'd practically written a page of Pratchett
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 March 2014, 12:55:17 PM
Who'd have thought in those long lost distant days of 1984, when I emerged from Sheffled Uni blinking into the sun with an honours Degree in Applied Statistics clutched in my deathly white grasp, that now, 30 years later, I'd actually find a use for it deciphering the jokes on a miniature manufacturers forum?   

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 21 March 2014, 01:08:12 PM
Quote from: fsn on 21 March 2014, 12:55:17 PM
Who'd have thought in those long lost distant days of 1984, when I emerged from Sheffled Uni blinking into the sun with an honours Degree in Applied Statistics clutched in my deathly white grasp, that now, 30 years later, I'd actually find a use for it deciphering the jokes on a miniature manufacturers forum?   


10 be or not 10 be; that is the binary question :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 21 March 2014, 10:38:21 PM
Ah. That expalins it

Lies

Damn lies

and FSN
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 March 2014, 11:03:48 PM
My word, there really are putting a hex on this...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 March 2014, 07:52:25 AM
Sorry I couldn't get to the bar last night chaps......Wonderful thunderstorm here last night, so I disconnected the PC form the telephone line.
(I'm not paying for another melted Modem).
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 March 2014, 08:43:35 AM
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts ... for support rather than illumination."  - Andrew Lang.

That's 92.4% correct.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 23 March 2014, 12:36:41 AM
78% of all statistics are made up - Abraham Lincoln
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: mollinary on 29 March 2014, 05:47:15 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 23 March 2014, 12:36:41 AM
78% of all statistics are made up - Abraham Lincoln

.. And so are 78% of quotes - Abraham Lincoln, Mark Twain, Winston Churchill


Mollinary
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 March 2014, 09:42:28 PM
Barman! Barman! Service! In the name of the Dark Lord's Holy Testicles! BARRRRRMANNNN!

Oh! There you are. Didn't see you standing behind that bar. I like the new hairstyle. What colour is that exactly? 

A pint of whiskey and a nip of bitter please. I've had a bad day. 

Is that a uniform they've introduced or are they your own clothes? Very unusual. Not many can wear a bow tie and chaps and make it work.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 29 March 2014, 09:49:55 PM
Sorry to take so long sir...we've a large party of crafters in the lounge next door...three in particular have been chewing my ear off.

Oops, do mind that elephant sir; blends right in alongside that pink wallpaper. :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 29 March 2014, 09:56:25 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 29 March 2014, 09:49:55 PM


Oops, do mind that elephant sir; blends right in alongside that pink wallpaper. :D

Why is FSN talking at it and feeding it 10p's? ..No wait... now he  seems to have his ear against it ... Ahhhhh  Got it...He must be making a trunk call
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 March 2014, 10:00:11 PM
I think your coat is calling you Fenton.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 29 March 2014, 10:03:28 PM
Quote from: fsn on 29 March 2014, 10:00:11 PM
I think your coat is calling you Fenton.

Why would his coat call him Fenton?

Oh...I see...

Fenton, get mine while you're there. :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 March 2014, 10:04:45 PM
Quote from: get2grips on 29 March 2014, 09:49:55 PM
Sorry to take so long sir...we've a large party of crafters in the lounge next door...three in particular have been chewing my ear off.

Don't let them drink gin! Please don't let them drink gin!

Not another over 60's pole dancing competition!   :-&

For the love of Milady's Good Taste Bypass, don't let them drink gin!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 March 2014, 10:13:24 PM
FSN, here you go...
Sliiiiiiiide!
Sliiiide!

Erm, these chaps are really chaffing! Can I go back to the barbed wire thong?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 March 2014, 10:19:48 PM
I think you're supposed to wear jeans under them?

By the way, you're making the elephant jealous. Kudos!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 March 2014, 10:21:42 PM
Cheers mate!

By the way, who ordered the quadruple gin with gin chaser?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 29 March 2014, 11:14:26 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 March 2014, 10:21:42 PM
Cheers mate!

By the way, who ordered the quadruple gin with gin chaser?

That will be the elephant in the corner.  He needs to be drunk to agree to the suggestion FSN just whispered in his ear
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 30 March 2014, 02:54:08 AM
I thought we never mentioned the elephant in the room
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 March 2014, 08:29:06 AM
What elephant?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 30 March 2014, 08:31:27 AM
Is that what I keep walking into.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 30 March 2014, 08:52:19 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 30 March 2014, 08:29:06 AM
What elephant?

Its behind you Jimmy..

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: howayman on 30 March 2014, 08:56:42 AM
THAT Elephant ! I thought it was FSN in a onesie.  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 30 March 2014, 08:52:45 PM
Quote from: howayman on 30 March 2014, 08:56:42 AM
THAT Elephant ! I thought it was FSN in a onesie.  :P

Are you calling him fat??? :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 March 2014, 10:29:36 PM
Ha! You can't see me now!

(http://www.dressingupboxonline.co.uk/content/images/thumbs/0003204_elephant-onesie-jumpsuit.jpeg)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 31 March 2014, 04:47:53 AM
Quote from: fsn on 29 March 2014, 10:00:11 PM
I think your coat is calling you Fenton.

Screw the whale; save the comma!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 31 March 2014, 07:59:34 AM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 31 March 2014, 04:47:53 AM
Screw the whale; save the comma!

First its necrophilia, now its a whale - You really have nno limits do you FK ! :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 31 March 2014, 08:04:27 AM
Quote from: fsn on 30 March 2014, 10:29:36 PM
Ha! You can't see me now!

(http://www.dressingupboxonline.co.uk/content/images/thumbs/0003204_elephant-onesie-jumpsuit.jpeg)



Who said that?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 31 March 2014, 08:09:55 AM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 31 March 2014, 04:47:53 AM
Screw the whale; save the comma!

We've already got to save the Marsh Fritillery where I live.....Don't need another butterfly to worry about.....Thank you SO much !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 31 March 2014, 08:20:38 AM
Quote from: Techno on 31 March 2014, 08:09:55 AM
We've already got to save the Marsh Fritillery where I live.....Don't need another butterfly to worry about.....Thank you SO much !


Save the elipsis...save the elipsis...save the elipsis...

In threes please Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 31 March 2014, 08:30:04 AM
From my student days, the all purpose protest banner:

"NUKE THE GAY WHALES FOR JESUS!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 31 March 2014, 08:41:12 AM
How did whales get into the argument? One minute it was camouflaged elephants and then we reached gay whales. And I thought I had a grasshopper mind.  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: get2grips on 31 March 2014, 09:42:05 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 31 March 2014, 08:41:12 AM
gay whales

(http://mundabor.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/daffydt.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 31 March 2014, 11:28:56 AM
 ;D =O =O ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 01 April 2014, 10:54:01 PM
Here you go

http://www.pridepublishing.webspace.virginmedia.com/gaywales/ (http://www.pridepublishing.webspace.virginmedia.com/gaywales/)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 April 2014, 12:56:24 PM
Waits for Fiecekitty, whilst laying out evidence the Earth is flat and the Sun goes round the Earth!!!


http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth_Society
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 15 April 2014, 01:19:50 PM
We all knew that, didn't we?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 15 April 2014, 06:44:13 PM
Nah -as far as I can tell the world revolves around my wife  .
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 April 2014, 07:02:35 PM
a) That's sweet
b) Big woman is she?

:P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 16 April 2014, 08:15:35 AM
She wear a very bright orange dress ?

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 17 April 2014, 05:42:14 PM
I'm sure it was a big girl in a red dress just trying to impress us...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 14 May 2014, 09:59:47 PM
I'm Cream Crackered. Driven 500 miles in 2 days for an interview, and now have a blister on my accelerator foot. In need of a clean, fresh brew, and some good conversation .

Bye then!

Only joking.

Bit quiet in here. No-one's fed the giant squid, she's looking a bit listless. That triffid could do with watering too. Bit dark and dingy. Half the lights are out. Did they get Techno to do the electrics? No huge blood pools, so perhaps not.

Hmmm .. whilst noone is here, I'll just pop behind the bar and get myself a free drink ...

BY THE DARK LORD'S SEVERED TESTICLES ... WHAT IS THAT???

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 May 2014, 11:46:40 PM
Just the jar of pickled eggs, watch out, they've had extra chillis added.

It's just next to the tiger.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 15 May 2014, 12:11:34 AM
<Heaves the ailing cephalapod at fsn and shouts something that sounds like "Here's that six quid I owe you!">
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: smokie gunner on 15 May 2014, 01:03:37 AM
"Some blokes will put anything to ink!"
(The barnacle infested old salt wheezed at his incredulous comrades and took another pull from a frothing mug.)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 May 2014, 06:32:25 AM
Oh, that's where the washing up liquid went, great for keeping your washer upper happy.
Send it back to our German Washer upper, yes I know he's busy, but he has an ill hairdressing squid who like musicals at home to look after. He's a bit under the weather so that's why he's not shaved today.

Yes, the kitchen does believe that to have 'Hans-as-soft-as-Gervais, the-mild-green-hairy-lipped-squid'!

Convoluted, yes, but I'll get me COAT!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 15 May 2014, 08:34:21 AM
Convoluted! I've seen fewer knots in a fisherman's net!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 May 2014, 05:00:56 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 15 May 2014, 06:32:25 AM
Oh, that's where the washing up liquid went, great for keeping your washer upper happy.
Send it back to our German Washer upper, yes I know he's busy, but he has an ill hairdressing squid who like musicals at home to look after. He's a bit under the weather so that's why he's not shaved today.

Yes, the kitchen does believe that to have 'Hans-as-soft-as-Gervais, the-mild-green-hairy-lipped-squid'!

;D ;D ;D

I think we have a winner in our "Biggest Groan of the Year" award.  =D> =D>

Didn't get the job by the way.   :(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 May 2014, 06:07:55 PM
Sorry mate, on both counts.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 15 May 2014, 08:24:58 PM
Quote from: fsn on 15 May 2014, 05:00:56 PM
Didn't get the job by the way.   :(

Sorry to hear that, as well, fsn ! :(
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 May 2014, 09:50:18 PM
Thanks chaps. It was a long shot, but worth taking.


Anyway, drinks are on Lemmey, being as it's his birthday!  Happy birthday!

I'll have a pint of cheese and onion bitter please.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 May 2014, 11:01:43 PM
Eh...
My bathday was in October...
:-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 16 May 2014, 07:15:04 AM
Well, better late than never! Mine's a half of Drambuie custard and a packet of jelly babies please. 

  :D

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 16 May 2014, 07:36:00 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 15 May 2014, 11:01:43 PM
Eh...
My bathday was in October...
:-\

I take it you have a shower from time to time?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 16 May 2014, 09:03:04 AM
Quote from: fsn on 15 May 2014, 05:00:56 PM

Didn't get the job by the way.   :(

Bad luck - but don't let it stop you trying again.  :-bd
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 May 2014, 10:37:08 PM
Bank holiday weekend! Drinks are on Hertsblue 'cos of his promotion.

I'll have a pint of proper beer and a Bourbon biscuit in a saucer.

Barman! Put that death mask of Jean Paul Sartre back on the shelf - it doesn't suit you - and tend to your custom! Please serve the Boers first, I'm sure they'll have a laager. Those rummy players are looking for gin, and for that divorced fellow at the back - bitter. That chap with Aladdin, I think he's also a djinn, and those lost sailors will be grateful for a port. Those campaigners for citrus growers want lemonade, and Eric Pickles is stout.

Are you still serving food? I think that young lady over there wants a marinaded chicken dish. Well she said she wanted a pecker in cider.

Where's my Bourbon? That's a bloomin' custard cream! What do you think I am? Common? 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 24 May 2014, 02:11:36 AM
At this point, a big hook from the wings pulls fsn into oblivion, and there is much rejoicing.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 24 May 2014, 03:34:22 AM
I'll have a bourbon over ice ... I like my biscuits chilled!

<wonders what the Miller's son has to be so happy about>

<drags fsn away from the PC> "Oblivion is so old hat, really ... try Skyrim ... much better."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 May 2014, 07:06:08 AM
Oi! Who had the last Custard Cream!  :(

*Breaks open pack of Wagon Wheels*
Sure these were bigger...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 24 May 2014, 10:18:23 AM
Quote from: fsn on 23 May 2014, 10:37:08 PM
Bank holiday weekend! Drinks are on Hertsblue 'cos of his promotion.

A small Dubonnet shandy and fifty straws, please barman!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 July 2014, 09:15:49 AM
These peanuts are getting stale...

Just off to change the barrel, brb!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 July 2014, 10:21:22 AM
The dust in here's disgusting......Who was supposed to do the cleaning last ?.....And just LOOK at the sodding cobwebs !

OK....All the white metal dust on the floor is down to me......I'll sort that out now !
Does the Dyson still work, Will ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 17 July 2014, 10:42:26 AM
Quote from: Techno on 17 July 2014, 10:21:22 AM

Does the Dyson still work, Will ?


No Phil, but according to Ray, the lady in the corner waiting for the chicken, can do a really good impression of one for a tenner
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 17 July 2014, 08:03:58 PM
Is she waiting for this cowardly fellow that's just come in?

By the way, I've been waiting two months for my pint of Milk of Magnesia and buttercup syrup. Where did you go to change that barrel?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 July 2014, 11:07:10 PM
Ulanbaator. Thought you said milk a mongol geeza!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 18 July 2014, 07:49:52 AM
... and yet you managed to get a pint. Well done, though I think it's gone off.

Could I have a pint of bitter instead please?

I see the décor has changed again. Have you gone retro, or has someone stolen the carpets?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 July 2014, 08:06:13 AM
No, the previous tenant was a Scotsman. He took the wallpaper too.... 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 July 2014, 08:32:04 AM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 17 July 2014, 10:42:26 AM
No Phil, but according to Ray, the lady in the corner waiting for the chicken, can do a really good impression of one for a tenner

:o ....You can't take him anywhere, can you ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 July 2014, 08:35:46 AM
You can take me anywhere - so long as you don't embarrass easily....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 18 July 2014, 12:28:23 PM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 17 July 2014, 10:42:26 AM
No Phil, but according to Ray, the lady in the corner waiting for the chicken, can do a really good impression of one for a tenner

It's of no interest to me. I'm a baritone.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 July 2014, 02:17:40 PM
AAAARGH !!!! X_X X_X X_X
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 18 July 2014, 02:27:03 PM
Some ask something in Welsh........

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 July 2014, 02:51:25 PM
A allaf gael gynhalydd safonol ar gyfer fy Pictiaid eto?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 18 July 2014, 03:53:59 PM
Yep thought it were, un-intelligible from the back of the throat.

IanS  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 18 July 2014, 04:34:49 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 18 July 2014, 02:51:25 PM
A allaf gael gynhalydd safonol ar gyfer fy Pictiaid eto?

Dim gael cwrw fel yr holl gweddill
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 18 July 2014, 04:57:00 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 18 July 2014, 02:51:25 PM
A allaf gael gynhalydd safonol ar gyfer fy Pictiaid eto?

I think you've dropped something on your keyboard.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 18 July 2014, 07:58:16 PM
Quote from: Techno on 18 July 2014, 08:32:04 AM
:o ....You can't take him anywhere, can you ?

Perhaps not, - But you can take the "lady" in the corner anywhere you like - They don't call her the  "Martini girl" for nothing.  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 July 2014, 08:03:33 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 18 July 2014, 02:51:25 PM
A allaf gael gynhalydd safonol ar gyfer fy Pictiaid eto?

Can I have a carer for my Picts ?.....I thought I was doing a standard bearer next. :-\

Quote from: Sandinista on 18 July 2014, 04:34:49 PM
Dim gael cwrw fel yr holl gweddill

No beer available at all.....something.
Was it one of the 'Andys' that was really good at Welsh ?
Don't look to me for translations.  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 18 July 2014, 07:58:16 PM
Perhaps not, - But you can take the "lady" in the corner anywhere you like - They don't call her the  "Martini girl" for nothing.  :d

Mark !!......That's showing you age, remembering that advert. ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 18 July 2014, 08:07:23 PM
Quote from: Techno on 18 July 2014, 08:03:33 PM
Mark !!......That's showing you age, remembering that advert. ;)
Cheers - Phil


I was very, very young when I saw that- Honest. 

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 July 2014, 09:52:28 PM
Too hot for beer tonight, I'm hiding in the ice bucket!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 18 July 2014, 11:39:02 PM
Quote from: Techno on 18 July 2014, 08:03:33 PM
Mark !!......That's showing you age, remembering that advert. ;)

THAT advert? What "only right ones drink Martini!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 July 2014, 08:12:17 AM
Throw the ice out - there's a foreign body in it.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 July 2014, 08:35:49 AM
I'm English, here's my passport!  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 19 July 2014, 09:50:44 AM
Then how come it's in Welsh?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 July 2014, 10:16:20 AM
Foreign as in not supposed to be there, nationality irrelevant.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 July 2014, 10:19:59 AM
It's too hot. I fancy a slush-puppy.

First, I'll just pop this ice into a blender ...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 July 2014, 10:22:27 AM
OK fsn, I'll go get a puppy for you.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 July 2014, 10:24:36 AM
Excellent! But not a Dachshund. They taste of badger.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 July 2014, 10:32:42 AM
Schnauzer!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 July 2014, 10:50:48 AM
Quote from: fsn on 19 July 2014, 10:24:36 AM
Excellent! But not a Dachshund. They taste of badger.

badger ??? Mind you doubt you could taste anything, given the poisonous atmosphere in Runcorn.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: OldenBUA on 19 July 2014, 11:36:01 AM
Hey, drinks are on me! I even brought some Bierwurst!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 July 2014, 11:45:37 AM
Danka!

It's so moist and sticky here even the humidity thinks it's warm!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 July 2014, 12:03:44 PM
Oh NO NO NO - the sausage is spreading. Feed it to that small dog...

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Sandinista on 19 July 2014, 02:42:14 PM
Time for ice cold cider, who wants one?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 July 2014, 04:15:09 PM
Yes please - with ice, lemon, cherry and umbrella please.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 19 July 2014, 06:26:21 PM
Ice in cider - ugh, blasphemy!  :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 08:55:50 AM
Hmmm... never been in here before... Wonder what kind of bar this is.
Ah well; let's have a cold one and see what happens..
'Bartender!'
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 August 2014, 09:06:27 AM
One liquid nitrogen and dry ice smoothy coming up!

Watch out for those peanuts...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 10:12:13 AM
Phewww; I think I popped a filling there... that's a mean cold drink you serve sir!
And thanks for the warning on the peanuts; I'll try to stay clear!
So how's bussiness here?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 August 2014, 10:24:34 AM
It'll pick up when the decorating's finally finished.
Pint of Absinthe, please Will.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 August 2014, 11:31:26 AM
Do you want the usual dead lizard in that Techno?

Oi! Ithorial! Put that claymore down...
It says point THAT way at the enemy!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 11:33:11 AM
Yeah, already though the place looked a bit run down... You think they'll attract a better class of people after the redecorating?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 August 2014, 12:17:05 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 14 August 2014, 11:31:26 AM
Do you want the usual dead lizard in that Techno?

Is it fresh, Will ?

Quote from: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 11:33:11 AM
Yeah, already though the place looked a bit run down... You think they'll attract a better class of people after the redecorating?

Still needs a lot more done, to my mind, Rob......And it'd be nice if those that promised to help with the tasks, actually turn up to.....soon !

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 14 August 2014, 12:42:27 PM
Tie the brushes on the horses and dogs tails.....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 12:44:40 PM
Well, what do you expect of people coming to a bar to help out; it'll work for about an hour and then the alcohol starts flowing and before you know everything done today and yesterday has to be done again... better keep 'em out untill they've paid their bills!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 August 2014, 12:57:19 PM
Yeah,
You want that Pangalacticgargleblaster on your tab then Ace?
(That's the national debt of Bolivia then)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 01:27:21 PM
Sure, put it on the tab if you want to; 'paper is patient' as a translated old Dutch proverb says! :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 August 2014, 01:31:22 PM
This lizard looks 'off'.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 August 2014, 01:44:48 PM
You mean it's run off, sorry, must have been a live one!  :-\
Have a peanut!

If you can catch it... It should have slowed down by now.

Pass the roller, I need to finish painting this wall, are you sure this is ultra violet paint FSN, its usually just ultraviolent in here!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 August 2014, 02:20:37 PM
He can't hear you, Will......He's listening to his iPod, while he's painting the Gents.
Are you sure we agreed on 'Vomit Green' in there ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 14 August 2014, 02:22:21 PM
Vomit Green?

I prefer Blood Red!

<punches fsn on the nose>

There, that's better!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 02:28:42 PM
He's not listening to George Michael in the gents is he...? :(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 14 August 2014, 03:51:47 PM
Quote from: Techno on 14 August 2014, 02:20:37 PM

Are you sure we agreed on 'Vomit Green' in there ?

Least you wont be constantly having to clean the walls if you paint it green
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 August 2014, 04:21:53 PM
Quote from: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 02:28:42 PM
He's not listening to George Michael in the gents is he...? :(

No....He seems to be sleeping on the floor at the moment......Why's his nose gone all flat ?

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 14 August 2014, 06:37:53 PM
Ow! By dose!

And please stop using me as a rug.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 August 2014, 06:47:09 PM
Keep still, FSN.....I'll get that nose back into shape....No problem.
If I just put the wax five up this nostril and lift....


Ooops !



Do you want Nosher to do it properly ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 14 August 2014, 08:49:07 PM
Quote from: Techno on 14 August 2014, 06:47:09 PM
Do you want Nosher to do it properly ?

Fix it properly, or break it properly?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 14 August 2014, 08:50:07 PM
Is he supposed to look like a rhino?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 14 August 2014, 08:50:51 PM
Quote from: Ace of Spades on 14 August 2014, 02:28:42 PM
He's not listening to George Michael in the gents is he...? :(

This establishment may be low - BUT NOT THAT LOW that we allow George Micheal anywhere.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 14 August 2014, 08:51:43 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 14 August 2014, 08:50:07 PM
Is he supposed to look like a rhino?

No, He only CLAIMS to be hung like one and always horny!! But I think thats the little blue diamond shaped pills he keeps taking
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 14 August 2014, 08:56:23 PM
I thought it was Techno just having a laugh.  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 August 2014, 09:53:35 PM
Who me ?

Slap on a bit lot of green stuff....Pin it in place...Make good.....Job done !  :D ;) ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 14 August 2014, 10:23:02 PM
Oh for Goodness sake! Now I look like an extra from Star Wars!

Leave the eyebrows alone ... I don't want Spock ears and ... that's just an invasion of privacy ...

Well, are you all pleased with yourselves?

And it wasn't George Michael. It was Wham!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 August 2014, 12:27:22 AM
That's gonna hurt in the morning. Bloody snot is hell to get out the carpet.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 15 August 2014, 09:25:11 AM
Schadenfreude is a wonderful thing.  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 August 2014, 09:34:46 AM
Carpet cleaner worked well, apart from the part where the carpet was dissolved.
Must have been Techno's kebab sauce...  :(

Who left this gold bar? Can't clear anyone's tab with that, worthless thing! *throws at door*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 15 August 2014, 10:27:07 AM
While redocorating it might be a good idea to remove the carpet from the gents... Okay, with people falling over (or being knocked down) it's soft and warm but considering hygiëne it's not considered standard at most public toilets I believe... Then again; Im not an expert; you might want to ask fsn on such matters?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 August 2014, 06:43:46 PM
Hey! I'm very choosy about which toilet floors I'm found on!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 15 August 2014, 08:52:35 PM
That's why we value your opinon fsn!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 August 2014, 09:02:09 PM
It was an offcut of the bayeux tapestry we had lieing around. The bit that shows Harold get up, stab William in the back, steal his armour and live happily ever after.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 15 August 2014, 09:05:17 PM
Thank god you didn't get a new carpet for the toilets; that would ave been a waste!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 15 August 2014, 10:30:58 PM
Ohhhhh !

That's not a carpet is it ? ... I thought it was just a thick layer of mould.

Are we still going for the mural ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 16 August 2014, 12:48:25 AM
Oi! You leave Muriel out of this!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 August 2014, 12:50:28 AM
No, invite her in...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 16 August 2014, 02:12:13 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 16 August 2014, 12:48:25 AM
Oi! You leave Muriel out of this!

I would but she was found up against the wall in the gents with FSN. Her knees are still trembling.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 16 August 2014, 10:10:03 AM
Yeah, his breath does that to women...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 16 August 2014, 10:23:14 AM
Well, I'm pretty new here so I don't know Muriel (yet) but if she's the cleaning lady (what other bussiness would she have at the gents?) I'd kick here out!
Can't even see the difference between a carpet and a thick layer of mould... tssss
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 16 August 2014, 10:37:09 AM
I still remember the black carpet in the pub right up in the north of New Zealand that squelched when you walked over it....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ace of Spades on 16 August 2014, 10:57:35 AM
Hope it wasn't in the toilet... :(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 16 August 2014, 10:58:55 AM
Don't think I actually dared the toilet.  :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 16 August 2014, 11:12:46 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 16 August 2014, 10:37:09 AM
I still remember the black carpet in the pub right up in the north of New Zealand that squelched when you walked over it....

TMI, Ray.  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Right......We're not having a carpet in there, then.
I've got some off-cuts of the rubber matting we use in the stables for the gee-gees.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 16 August 2014, 07:45:18 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 16 August 2014, 10:37:09 AM
I still remember the black carpet in the pub right up in the north of New Zealand that squelched when you walked over it....

No Ray they were sheep for the locals entertainment - I'll leave you to guess why they squelched  :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 16 August 2014, 07:46:39 PM
Quote from: Techno on 16 August 2014, 11:12:46 AM
I've got some off-cuts of the rubber matting we use.


Have you Phil!!!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 16 August 2014, 08:00:05 PM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 16 August 2014, 07:46:39 PM
Have you Phil!!!  ;)

Stop editing my posts !  :P ;) ;D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 August 2014, 10:13:55 PM
Better hose that wall down again, anyone seen the borax? Techno, it's not for snorting!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 August 2014, 08:10:21 AM
AAAAAAACHOOO !! :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[

That's cleared the sinuses !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 17 August 2014, 08:19:46 AM
It's my fault. I should have moved. Has anyone got a tissue? A towel?

There's some grey matter in here. You might want that back.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 August 2014, 08:21:23 AM
Don't think that's mine. :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 August 2014, 08:32:47 AM
Brawn anyone?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 17 August 2014, 08:39:34 AM
Na- I got da brain....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 August 2014, 09:15:20 AM
"Let's make lots of money..."

To quote.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 17 August 2014, 09:26:49 AM
Go West then.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 August 2014, 09:27:59 AM
In suburbia?  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 17 August 2014, 10:28:43 AM
I think this thread's going south.  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 17 August 2014, 10:30:18 AM
Then head for Hatfield and the North.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 August 2014, 10:48:13 AM
That's such an A1 bias! The North starts at the Humber!

*Dons flat cap, draws Black Puddin'* Beware, I am a master of Ekiee-Thump!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 17 August 2014, 10:49:48 AM
Quote from: Dour Puritan on 17 August 2014, 10:30:18 AM
Then head for Hatfield and the North.

Have you ever been to Hatfield? Take my tip, don't!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 17 August 2014, 11:12:08 AM
Yes, to visit Hatfield House where ElizabethI lived before she became queen. It was really interesting, but this was forty years ago, so assume Hatfield town itself may well have changed. Incidentally I live north of the Mersey, but I always remember that A1 road sign, Hatfield and the North, not to mention the band.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 17 August 2014, 12:10:51 PM
The sign always said :

Hatfield
The North.

ianS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 17 August 2014, 12:14:44 PM
Which is how you can tell I haven't been there for forty years. And Humphrey Bogart never said, 'Play it again Sam', but when the myth is better than the fact print the myth - and the correct quote is....?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 17 August 2014, 12:17:38 PM
Coming back from Swaledale I saw a sign which simply had

The North
The South

all on the same direction arrow (the blue Motorway kind)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 17 August 2014, 04:25:08 PM
Quote from: Dour Puritan on 17 August 2014, 11:12:08 AM
Yes, to visit Hatfield House where ElizabethI lived before she became queen. It was really interesting, but this was forty years ago, so assume Hatfield town itself may well have changed. Incidentally I live north of the Mersey, but I always remember that A1 road sign, Hatfield and the North, not to mention the band.

Old Hatfield is very quaint, down in the dip right by the House. The new town is.... well, run down, I think is the polite expression.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 August 2014, 04:24:25 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 17 August 2014, 12:17:38 PM
Coming back from Swaledale I saw a sign which simply had

The North
The South

all on the same direction arrow (the blue Motorway kind)

I suppose "North" and "South" are all relative. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 August 2014, 04:31:05 PM
Most of my relatives are west from here!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 27 August 2014, 09:47:02 PM
And in Australia you go north in search of the sun
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 28 August 2014, 08:49:00 AM
I don't think you have to look too hard.  8) 8) 8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 28 August 2014, 09:07:55 AM
You might have a point there, sport.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 28 August 2014, 10:46:54 AM
Quote from: fsn on 27 August 2014, 04:24:25 PM
I suppose "North" and "South" are all relative. 

In Norfolk everyone's a relative, "Keep it in the family"

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 28 August 2014, 02:41:05 PM
Not sure what the "Bar Fight" is - all this is meant in fun anyway ...

Quote from: Last Hussar on 17 August 2014, 12:17:38 PM
Coming back from Swaledale I saw a sign which simply had

The North
The South

all on the same direction arrow (the blue Motorway kind)

There's a few of those signs ... there should be some others that read, "We don't like Wensleydale".
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 August 2014, 03:56:55 PM
Erm... Gingerboy, be careful as you step off that teller mine!
The last one shattered the chandelier!

*Swings large, empty, lagar barrel at Nik*
Now you've emptied it, put it in the urinal so the rest can refill it!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 28 August 2014, 04:07:55 PM
Wensleydale ?....Back to the cheese sketch then. ;)
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 28 August 2014, 05:29:35 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 28 August 2014, 03:56:55 PM
*Swings large, empty, lagar barrel at Nik*
Now you've emptied it, put it in the urinal so the rest can refill it!

I've gone right off lagar y'know... ;)

I'll have some cidre instead. Hang on...stoopid Stella Artois man.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 August 2014, 05:32:40 PM
Just move the barrel one urinal left then Nik!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 28 August 2014, 06:04:18 PM
Can I have some real ale - I'm fed up of this French stuff and and P*ss lager

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 28 August 2014, 08:23:28 PM
Quote from: Techno on 28 August 2014, 04:07:55 PM
Wensleydale ?....Back to the cheese sketch then. ;)
Cheers - Phil

That's one of the reasons why we don't like Wensleydale ... Nobody's ever heard of Swaledale cheese!

"More Swaledale, Gromit?!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 28 August 2014, 08:27:43 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 28 August 2014, 03:56:55 PM
Erm... Gingerboy, be careful as you step off that teller mine!
The last one shattered the chandelier!

*Swings large, empty, lagar barrel at Nik*
Now you've emptied it, put it in the urinal so the rest can refill it!

a mine would be safer than some of the places I've been in a pub ... Golden Lion, Stockton springs to mind. Working in a (being used) gents toilet, with all the (joinery) tools scattered across the floor while drunks come in from the Tuesday afternoon karaoke. The bit roll situated under the urinals ... the drunk's pesh now all over the tools I've got to use. Oh dear! "Pass me the Phillips screwdriver, Roy ..."  :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 29 August 2014, 08:30:19 AM
Quote from: gingerbhoy on 28 August 2014, 08:23:28 PM
That's one of the reasons why we don't like Wensleydale ... Nobody's ever heard of Swaledale cheese!

"More Swaledale, Gromit?!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nah, Blue Cheshire every time.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 August 2014, 09:11:04 AM
That's Shropshire Blue?

Anyone seen the cheese board? Need to make sure the Black Widow spider is okay.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 29 August 2014, 09:16:07 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 August 2014, 09:11:04 AM
That's Shropshire Blue?


Not when I ate it last - which was some time ago. Looks like Stilton but with a darker hue.

As for the spider, I'm taking her for a walk.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 August 2014, 09:25:38 AM
Great! Don't let her eat the sheep again!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 29 August 2014, 09:30:41 AM
I'm taking her down to the Tax Office to ask about my rebate.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 August 2014, 09:34:47 AM
Lol!  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 03 September 2014, 01:08:44 PM
Boring day at work today - have knocked off the to-do list, loads of threads that are hanging as I wait for people to come back to me...

So - anyone fancy a lunchtime snifter or seven? Followed by some fisticuffs?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 September 2014, 01:27:34 PM
A snifter or seven sounds good to me.....But I'll have to sit quietly in the corner....I'm not to be jogged while I'm pushing all this putty about.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 03 September 2014, 01:54:52 PM
Who are you pushing, eh?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 September 2014, 02:49:30 PM
Stop blocking the light, Nik !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 03 September 2014, 06:53:18 PM
Oi! you two, you two fighting?

If not? Why not?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 September 2014, 09:24:27 PM
You can get out of the light as well.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 September 2014, 05:03:10 PM
Starts positioning coats in anticipation if interviews for Trchno's temporary replacement.

One in the tiger pit, two in front of the quantum accelerator, one in the ladies (behind the chainsaw loaded out trap), last one behind Nik's 'special malts, do not move' shelf.

Good luck all!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 September 2014, 05:21:48 PM
Do we have to wear the outfit?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 15 September 2014, 05:28:54 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 15 September 2014, 05:03:10 PM
Starts positioning coats in anticipation if interviews for Trchno's temporary replacement.



Are you suggesting that a coat could do the job Techno does?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 September 2014, 05:49:49 PM
FSN yes.
Fenton: No, the Coat Assistant position is only temporary, but only because the doormat, Erm, doorman, Erm... current incumbent is in computer limbo, not rehab-at-all-of-any-kind, honest!

The sculpting bit is another question. He's irreplaceable.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 September 2014, 06:34:25 PM
In that case I'm not applying. That g-string does me no favours.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 September 2014, 07:23:27 PM
If you want you can play the F or E string instead...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 15 September 2014, 08:27:45 PM
I want fsn in a full alphabet string, if not a complete Oxford dictionary string
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 September 2014, 08:32:41 PM
If he can do the Elements Song, he gets the job!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 September 2014, 09:44:04 PM
"There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium and barium.

There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium
And phosphorous and francium and fluorine and terbium
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and caesium"

... and I'm still not wearing the g-string. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 September 2014, 09:51:29 PM
Job's yours!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 September 2014, 09:42:21 AM
And whoever got the coat out from behind Nik's security field, well done, but could you remove the soiled boots you left on the bartop?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 October 2014, 07:59:53 PM
I know it's the Bakeoff final tonight, but whoever is throwing rock buns, they are not meant to have actual rocks in them!  :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 08 October 2014, 08:10:20 PM
So I shouldn't use crockery in these cupcakes then?

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 08 October 2014, 08:10:37 PM
They're not rock cakes, they're genuine dwarf battle-bread loaves, imported direct from Ankh-Morpork!  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 08 October 2014, 08:14:53 PM
Yeah, but you know the use of Dwarven Drop Scones are illegal under the Genuia Convention!!

Even more illegal to leave that one propped over the door!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 December 2014, 11:12:52 AM
Barman! Barlady! Bardog!  (Worst superhero team ever.)

Barkeep! BaaaaARKEEP!

What an odd echo. As if this place has been long deserted, nay abandoned. Never mind, these neglected bottles of malt whisky look as if they need a good home and will make good Christmas presents ... for me! Huzzah! Should have brought a bigger bag. What have we here? Bottles of bourbon. Hmmm. No, my sinks don't need unblocking.

Where is that accursed beer dispenser? Probably off polishing his 6pdr again.

Those peanuts look a bit stale ... but waste not ... hang on. One of them moved. I'll not bother.

Still no sign of that pint puller. Perhaps if I rustled this £5 note ...

Memories of this place. They didn't manage to get the stain out from when Fenton brought the transsexual pole dancer in. The lingerie was a bad idea. Fenton looked ridiculous. 

BARRRRRRR-KEEEEEEPER!  *cough* *cough* Man dying of thirst here!

There's where Lemmey carved his initials into the bar, using Orcs teeth. Happy days. Still, Orcs shouldn't have left them in a glass on the bar. Oooh! He was mad! I'm still not sure in what language "FU" is the initials for "Mad Lemmey".

Perhaps I should go to the loo and make a lot of noise? Nah. I'd rather pee on the floor here than use those toilets. Everyone feels that way. On a good night you can be paddling around like you're on Southport beach. Things got better when Lemmey stopped using sawdust and started using toilet blocks. Piney fresh.

Wonder if they've beefed up the security? Last time there were two grannies with gimlet eyes and knitting needles sat at the end of the bar. Could clear the bar in seconds just by declaring they were feeling a little frisky and would go home with any man who bought them a gin. They were talking about putting in CCTV. Unfortunately they got it wrong and didn't put in Closed Circuit Television, but signed up for five years of Cold Corpse Television, basically a web cam in the morgue. Was funny watching Lemmey trying to work out who was sleeping on the tables in the snug.

Right, last time and then I'm going to the Starbucks. Or I could just drink water from a puddle.

Barkeep. BARMAN! STAFF! SERVICE!

Oh dear! They might have thought I was shouting. I'll just have to pretend it was another customer who left. Will they notice there only one set of footprints in the ... shall we call it a carpet? I'll just say it was someone who's been on a diet.

Perhaps I should just leave. Or would that be rude?

What to do? What to do?





Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 19 December 2014, 11:22:57 AM
Quote from: fsn on 19 December 2014, 11:12:52 AM
...

Memories of this place. They didn't manage to get the stain out from when Fenton brought the transsexual pole dancer in. The lingerie was a bad idea. Fenton looked ridiculous. 

BARRRRRRR-KEEEEEEPER!  *cough* *cough* Man dying of thirst here!





It wasnt my fault The Barkeep said I had been risen to the Order of the Garter and should wear the paraphernalia at all times to show how important I was
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 December 2014, 11:29:50 AM
Quote from: fsn on 19 December 2014, 11:12:52 AM
What to do? What to do?

Ring the bell on the bar, Nobby......But not too hard....It'll probably fall to pieces.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 December 2014, 12:11:37 PM
Hi Barman - pint of whalop, brush for the dust and a bale o hay for t'camel - Ta La.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 December 2014, 12:24:48 PM
What?

Oh, you lot again.
Shandy all round is it girls?

Watch the peanut, it's just slowing down.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 December 2014, 01:55:18 PM
Ummm ... half a snowball, please. Not too much advocat.

It makes my ears warm - FSN
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 December 2014, 01:56:53 PM
<Ithoriel strolls in wearing a top hat with a ticket in it saying "10/6", dunks fsn's head in the teapot and hums "Twinkle, twinkle little star."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 December 2014, 02:18:33 PM
Burble! Blub! Gurgle! Snurt! Splatter!

Good job that teapot was empty! - FSN
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 December 2014, 02:30:29 PM
That's what you think!
You've finally found trap 4 of 5, the chlorine filled teapot!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 December 2014, 02:31:20 PM
Why's FSN got a mouse on his head ?....I didn't think pets were allowed in the bar.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 December 2014, 02:58:54 PM
Quote from: Techno on 19 December 2014, 02:31:20 PM
Why's FSN got a mouse on his head ?....I didn't think pets were allowed in the bar.

fsn isn't a pet ... he's a working animal!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ironduke on 19 December 2014, 03:06:03 PM
I run in, don't care what's happening but see a chance to indiscriminatly discharge my pepper box, which I do, the kick throws me back out the door and into the safety of the inky black night
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 December 2014, 03:24:03 PM
Wondered where the pepper went.
Put it back with the salt please!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 December 2014, 04:20:31 PM
*snort* That clears the tubes wonderfully *snurt*

Quote from: Ironduke on 19 December 2014, 03:06:03 PM
indiscriminately discharge my pepper box

Is he allowed to do that? I thought House Rules, Section 18c, Paragraph 12 Alpha says "All pepper boxes are to be discharged with discrimination". Just below the bit about hockey sticks only being wielded above shoulder height. Like this ...

*Wields walking stick above shoulder height, and failing to make contact with anyone spins around until quite dizzy*

:-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 December 2014, 04:37:54 PM
Urh!

It's lacrosse sticks at that height, hockey used in overhead stabbing.
Like thiiiiiiiissss.....aaaaaaggggghhhhhh....
W
E
E
E
E
E
E
E
.
.
.

*THUNK*

Who left the fan on?
Good thing I landed on this soft pile of coats.


Hmm, sure they just moved, is that where Nik's been hibernating?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 December 2014, 04:39:04 PM
Na - you just crushed FSN....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 December 2014, 04:41:09 PM
Yuck!
Pass the disinfectant?

Techno, stop drinking it!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 December 2014, 06:47:21 AM
Not much mess in here from last night chaps, just a few broken tables and a bit of lead to dig out the walls (send it to The Dark Lord, he can melt it down for Picts).

Better do a stock take on the bar...
Oxo.

Job done.
Cointreau trio anyone?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 December 2014, 07:46:59 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 December 2014, 04:41:09 PM
Yuck!
Pass the disinfectant?
Techno, stop drinking it!

Well....It says it kills 99% of germs.....Don't want to catch a cold just before Christmas.
Is that Nobby under the pool table ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 December 2014, 09:48:29 AM
Who's that swimming in the pool table?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 December 2014, 10:28:34 AM
Your mouse. I think he's doing the backstroke.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 20 December 2014, 10:50:41 AM
Nah, it's the 1% of germs your disinfectant doesn't kill.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 December 2014, 02:19:17 PM
For a mouse, I thought it looked a little bit more like primordial 'soup'.
Anyone want to poke it with Nobby's finger ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 December 2014, 02:51:40 PM
Okay, but are you sure it's his  finger?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 20 December 2014, 05:17:15 PM
Hmmm.....Now you mention it.....Anyone got some tongs ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 December 2014, 05:31:49 PM
Here! Anyone seen my finger?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 21 December 2014, 09:07:19 AM
Use your HAZMAT suit....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 December 2014, 09:44:35 AM
How on Earth are we going to decorate the Christmas tree, if we're all wearing those ?
Anyone going to look for last year's decorations ?
Are they down in the cellar, Will ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 December 2014, 11:03:28 AM
To the left of the bourbons and beyond the toxic lager store.
Watch the claymore, and the bear, and the leopard, and the tigers and the...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 December 2014, 11:03:56 AM
There's a box of decorations here. Are these what you're looking for?

Lets see .... Legion D'Honneur .... Blue Max ... Mons Star .... that can go on the top of the tree .... DSO .... a World Cup coin put out by Esso! ... a 100 Lira piece .....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 December 2014, 12:21:38 PM
*From down in the cellar*.........

Probably.......I can't find the light switch down here.....And the torch has just died.
OOOH ! (in a louder voice) What's just growled at me ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 December 2014, 12:37:23 PM
Techno tummy, it is lunchtime.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 21 December 2014, 03:57:36 PM
Quote from: Techno on 21 December 2014, 12:21:38 PM
*From down in the cellar*.........

Probably.......I can't find the light switch down here.....And the torch has just died.
OOOH ! (in a louder voice) What's just growled at me ?

The Leopard.

Male sure the tree is not put up til 24.00 on 24th - and taken down at 24.00 on 25th, otherwise I WILL burn it.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 December 2014, 03:58:53 PM
That's a bit early to go up Ian!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 21 December 2014, 04:16:23 PM
Ian's going to do his Joan of Arc impression. Whoopee!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 December 2014, 07:12:34 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 21 December 2014, 03:57:36 PM
Male sure the tree is not put up til 24.00 on 24th - and taken down at 24.00 on 25th, otherwise I WILL burn it. IanS

I'll bring some firelighters and petrol then......The only one I could find in the cellar seems to be made of asbestos.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 22 December 2014, 09:43:23 AM
Like I said before HAZMET suit....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 December 2014, 12:23:41 AM
*Sweeps up broken glass.*

*Adds equal shares of glass splinters into everyone's favourite tankard*


Actually, no. I used to bite glasses when I was about 4, please do not try this at home, horrible thought in this time of goodwill.

*Emptied out glass, which is carefully put into the sharps bucket, checks all receptacles, clears dormouse out of tea pot, dodo out of Nik's shot glass, Evicts fairies from FSN's beaker, and trolls from Techno's Tupperware.* Oh, that was Techno, sorry!

*Pours weak lager shandy into all.*

That should upset someone!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 December 2014, 07:24:10 AM
(Techno reappears from cellar in shredded 'overalls'.)

Sorry, Will.....Couldn't hear a bloody thing in this bloody Hazmat suit.
Can you pour me something else ? This scotch tastes of wee.

Quote from: mad lemmey on 24 December 2014, 12:23:41 AM
Actually, no. I used to bite glasses when I was about 4, please do not try this at home, horrible thought in this time of goodwill.

You weren't the only one. :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 December 2014, 07:45:30 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 24 December 2014, 12:23:41 AM
Actually, no. I used to bite glasses when I was about 4, please do not try this at home, horrible thought in this time of goodwill.
I still do. Been banned from every optician in Runcorn.

Quote from: Techno on 24 December 2014, 07:24:10 AM
This scotch tastes of wee.
That's because it's bourbon.


Now that's it's Christmas Eve, can we break out the hard stuff? Sherry trifle anyone?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 December 2014, 10:47:44 AM
'Tis but a truffle FSN.

*SPLAT*

FOOD FIGHT!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 December 2014, 11:12:42 AM
YEAH !!!

Twiglet scatter incomng.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 December 2014, 04:26:27 PM
You beast! You've got cream on my party frock!  :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 December 2014, 04:54:45 PM
Baguette bazooka!

BOOM!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 December 2014, 04:57:53 PM
Brings out his Fondue Flamethrower

Eat hot cheese punk...

SQUIT!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 December 2014, 05:03:49 PM
Petite Pois twanged from a serving spoon.
(Blimey.....They've gone EVERYWHERE.)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 December 2014, 05:06:48 PM
Quote from: Techno on 24 December 2014, 05:03:49 PM
Petite Pois twanged from a serving spoon.


Talking posh aint going to save you.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 December 2014, 05:11:25 PM
Stilton Grenade!

(Good name for a band)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 December 2014, 05:13:15 PM
 

Hurls a cold battered pudding


(Someone had to do it eventually)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 December 2014, 06:22:55 PM
Jelly in a 'cardboard' bowl......Oh, sod that......I'll just pick it up and throw it with my hands.....Makes more of a mess. :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 December 2014, 06:58:47 PM
That's it! Brussels Caltrops!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 24 December 2014, 07:14:33 PM
Are they like Belgian Gates?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: howayman on 24 December 2014, 08:45:17 PM
Didn't he run the European Microsquigee ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Maenoferren on 24 December 2014, 10:00:51 PM
Runs in with two buckets of Gravy to fling everywhere only to find that it is impossible to throw the contents of two buckets at once.... so runs back out again to devise a crazy gravy flinging machine.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 December 2014, 10:04:43 PM
Sets up Cranberry Claymore tripwire for Maenoferran's next appearance!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 24 December 2014, 10:10:26 PM
Sets up Christmas cake landmine after Maenoferran's pratt fall over the cranberry claymore tripwire
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 December 2014, 08:52:53 AM
Nails bicycle inner tube across the doorway......Gets 15lb frozen turkey from freezer, and attempts to use the tube as a catapult.
Frozen turkey slips from fingers, and drops on foot......Screams !!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 December 2014, 08:58:30 AM
You should have defrosted it first - never give the Welsh or women hi tech kit.

IanS  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 December 2014, 09:16:49 AM
Gentlemen! It's Christmas! A time of peace and goodwill to all ... who did that? *wipes turkey gravy from his eyes* Let's all be friends and *receives another gravy grenade to the face* - right that's it. Someone's gonna eat this Christmas pudding and I don't mean in a good way. *lights Christmas pudding and hurls it at next member to post on this thread*

Merry flipping Christmas!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 December 2014, 09:27:53 AM
YOU ABSOLUTE OIK, NOBBY !

Hops around on one foot, while wiping burning Christmas pud from face.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 December 2014, 09:38:27 AM
RIGHT!

EVERYBODY BETTER START FEELING SOME PEACE AND GOODWILL TO ALL MANKIND OR THE CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES WILL START BEING TOLD!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 December 2014, 09:44:18 AM
Oh no they won't !
Look out behind you  !!!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 December 2014, 09:48:26 AM
Quote from: Techno on 25 December 2014, 09:44:18 AM
Oh no they won't !
Look out behind you  !!!



Right you were warned!

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 December 2014, 10:30:14 AM
... must resist Cracker jokes ... bad jokes too powerful ... pulling me to .... must answer ... don't want to but ...

A nervous wreck!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 25 December 2014, 12:01:10 PM
What did one Snowman say to the other Snowman
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Can you smell carrots??
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 December 2014, 12:07:41 PM
What's white, sweet and swings through the trees?

A meringue-utan!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 December 2014, 12:25:08 PM
 What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?




A Holly Davidson!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 December 2014, 12:35:42 PM
Right THE JOKES STOP NOW - else I'll spray the bar with squirty cream

IanS  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 December 2014, 01:19:11 PM
Blimey! What a man!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 27 December 2014, 12:33:37 PM
So Boxing Day comes and goes and no 'bar fight.' The irony.  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 December 2014, 12:53:03 PM
We were too stuffed from the stuffing soufflé FSN cooked us!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 27 December 2014, 03:54:02 PM
You mean you ate THAT !!!!


ianS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 December 2014, 04:10:16 PM
Erm ... that wasn't exactly stuffing.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 December 2014, 04:16:55 PM
Oh.

But it worked really well with red current sauce!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 27 December 2014, 04:20:24 PM
Wasn't exactly red currant sauce either ....  :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 27 December 2014, 10:05:49 PM
So 'stuffing' and 'red currant sauce' comes and goes. The horror.

Da da da ra da! Dad da da ra da! (as he flies away to Ride of the Valkyries...)  O:-)

[its OK - doesn't make sense to me either]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 December 2014, 10:45:12 PM
Boik!  :-& :-& :-&

What was the turkey, or should I not ask either!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 December 2014, 10:50:33 PM
Ah! Turkey would have been more traditional I suppose.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 27 December 2014, 10:56:01 PM
I'm back (cos I had a thought). Was the sauce current or currant? Because if it was current, I wouldn't normally expect there to be a problem. But if it was currant, was that current or not. Because if it was currant sauce, then, if it was not current, that could have been the problem. So, its maybe no use blaming the stuffing (or the turkey), maybe it was the sauce (unless the stuffing ... or the turkey .. wasn't current). And was it supposed to be red? See! Did anyone think of that! This is a can of worms. Wait, was (in case FK is checking) were there worms as well? Could there have been worms in the ..... (tails away)  :-\

[ .. night, night, Sooty ...}
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 December 2014, 11:16:39 PM
Well I added raisins and AA batteries, so it was probably both.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 27 December 2014, 11:34:41 PM
Ever ready?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 28 December 2014, 10:40:48 AM
Make way, lads! I'm wading in!   (bottle smashes over a head ....... mine)   OK.  I'll come back later.....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 December 2014, 10:47:44 AM
Chops to the waist...
Rolls the loin...
Slices at the drumstick...

Sorry, still in Xmas leftovers.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 28 December 2014, 12:37:03 PM
Only got a few mince pies left, now......
I could save them until next year's food fight......They'll be rock hard by then.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 December 2014, 02:15:31 PM
Drop scones are illegal.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 28 December 2014, 02:21:19 PM
Baked a wholemeal loaf about a week ago, the recipe described it as a dense, satisfying loaf. What with preparations for and celebration of the festive season it didn't get eaten. What I have now would go down a storm in Treacle Mine Road! Sadly, I suspect the Geneva Convention specifically prohibits the use of such a horrendous weapon in a bar fight :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 28 December 2014, 02:26:48 PM
Pity, because that would be termed, "using your loaf."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 28 December 2014, 07:41:16 PM
Quote from: Techno on 28 December 2014, 12:37:03 PM
Only got a few mince pies left, now......
I could save them until next year's food fight......They'll be rock hard by then.

Changed my mind.....I'm going to eat them.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 28 December 2014, 11:31:24 PM
You could stick them in the freezer - that would harden them nicely. An old paintball trick from my youth.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 December 2014, 11:43:45 PM
But it they were short crust, they would crumble and fragment on impact.
Puff pasty would serate into shards.
Now that would be lethal!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 December 2014, 08:11:59 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 28 December 2014, 11:31:24 PM
You could stick them in the freezer - that would harden them nicely. An old paintball trick from my youth.

OUCH !!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 December 2014, 10:34:37 AM
Let's try.
We need a control group, who don't get hurt, I nominate: Me!
Also a group to be hit by (at high velocity) Some raw paintballs, some frozen paintballs, fresh, stale and frozen mince pies. Any volunteers?

Shall I fire up the particle accelerator again?
And can we add the peanut back into the test?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 29 December 2014, 10:50:59 AM
It's good to be on another continent!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 29 December 2014, 12:25:11 PM
I think what we have is a lack-of-control group.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 29 December 2014, 12:29:45 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 December 2014, 10:34:37 AM
Let's try.
We need a control group, who don't get hurt, I nominate: Me!
Also a group to be hit by (at high velocity) Some raw paintballs, some frozen paintballs, fresh, stale and frozen mince pies. Any volunteers?

Shall I fire up the particle accelerator again?
And can we add the peanut back into the test?

If memory serves there is about a ton  of frozen Brussel sprouts in the freezer. I think they are there from when Techno had his yearly health kick and got a  a taste for sprout and vodka smoothies
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 29 December 2014, 12:30:48 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 29 December 2014, 12:25:11 PM
I think what we have is a lack-of-control group.

An out-of-control group more like :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 29 December 2014, 12:36:04 PM
Na - I've never been controlled anyway.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 29 December 2014, 12:48:52 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 29 December 2014, 12:36:04 PM
Na - I've never been controlled anyway.

IanS

How do you know?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 30 December 2014, 08:55:43 AM
Good point.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 January 2015, 12:22:10 PM
It's been a long fortnight back at work, better get that restock sorted.

Techno: Manhattan
FierceKitty: sorcer' off mulk.
Nik: missing, presumed drunk.
Ithorial: bitter, but drinking Pimms, neat.
FSN: Dried frog pill smoothie.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 16 January 2015, 01:27:55 PM
Yeah - where is Nik?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 16 January 2015, 03:56:12 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 16 January 2015, 12:22:10 PM
It's been a long fortnight back at work, better get that restock sorted.

Techno: Manhattan
FierceKitty: sorcer' off mulk.
Nik: missing, presumed drunk.
Ithorial: bitter, but drinking Pimms, neat.
FSN: Dried frog pill smoothie.

Leave any hint of cherry out, please Will...... :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 16 January 2015, 04:19:25 PM
Pimms? PIMMS!!! I'll have a white rum with angostura bitters and a twist of lemming!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 16 January 2015, 04:57:39 PM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 16 January 2015, 04:19:25 PM
Pimms? PIMMS!!! I'll have a white rum with angostura bitters and a twist of lemming!

Get the RSPCA quick.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 16 January 2015, 07:21:14 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 16 January 2015, 12:22:10 PM
FSN: Dried frog pill smoothie.

Nobody dries a smoothie like you, Lemmey.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 January 2015, 09:45:04 PM
Why thank you.  :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 17 January 2015, 09:51:41 AM
And where's the creme-de-menthe shandy for the goat?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 17 January 2015, 10:16:46 AM
Sorry. Thought it was my Night Nurse on the rocks.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 17 January 2015, 10:19:19 AM
You know you shouldn't use heavy machinery after drinking that stuff. Get down off that combine-harvester at once!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 January 2015, 10:57:47 AM
Not many people can pull off a Night-Nurse at 11am!
Now, Doup Puritan, a pure mineral water, spiked with pure malt.
GoatMajor, a 'whatever you've got that's luquid'!
Matt of Munslow, Pint of Woods, rum....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 17 January 2015, 11:02:10 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 17 January 2015, 10:19:19 AM
You know you shouldn't use heavy machinery after drinking that stuff. Get down off that combine-harvester at once!

That's not a combine-harvester! It's my Centurion. Cleverly disguised!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 17 January 2015, 11:44:10 AM
I hope that's pure malt whisky and not that stuff my mum used to give me a spoonful of before sending me off to school.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 January 2015, 12:00:36 PM
Oh... Whoops.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 January 2015, 12:01:25 PM
Better restock the bar, DO and FSN have both been promoted.
Bumper pack of dried frog pills...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 18 January 2015, 12:05:02 PM
I've moved to the snug, so I don't have to mix with the lesser ranks.

I'll have a small sweet sherry and some of that dried frog caviare on toast please. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 18 January 2015, 12:18:31 PM
Quote from: fsn on 18 January 2015, 12:05:02 PM
I've moved to the snug, so I don't have to mix with the lesser ranks.


Why have party poppers suddenly started going off and is that 'happy days are here again' I hear being played on the yazoo near the indoor water polo table
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 18 January 2015, 12:53:28 PM
I once played water polo for GB - it's a long story and it wasn't Team GB I hasten to add. Won a bronze medal, which I can wear with pride alongside my new rank badges.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 18 January 2015, 01:03:25 PM
Quote from: Dour Puritan on 18 January 2015, 12:53:28 PM
I once played water polo for GB

Girls Brigade?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 18 January 2015, 01:14:53 PM
Absolutely. The showers after the match were a blast.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 18 January 2015, 01:19:26 PM
So, DP, when there was discussion elsewhere on the forum about "changing habits" you were thinking of The Little Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisters_of_Perpetual_Indulgence) were you?  :o ;)  :d :d :d :d :d :d :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 January 2015, 01:22:26 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 18 January 2015, 01:38:28 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 18 January 2015, 12:01:25 PM
Better restock the bar, DO and FSN have both been promoted.
Bumper pack of dried frog pills...
Is DO a typo?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 18 January 2015, 01:54:41 PM
I think it's because o is next to p on the keyboard,
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 18 January 2015, 01:57:52 PM
I thought so DP. Congratulations to you too!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 January 2015, 02:05:04 PM
Typo, he's been promoted to Dour Ouritan!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 18 January 2015, 02:48:18 PM
I read that as "poor irritant" - must get these reading glasses checked.....  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 18 January 2015, 02:56:34 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 18 January 2015, 02:05:04 PM
Typo, he's been promoted to Dour Ouritan!
Quote from: Hertsblue on 18 January 2015, 02:48:18 PM
I read that as "poor irritant" - must get these reading glasses checked.....  ;)
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 18 January 2015, 03:22:20 PM
Well I've been called some things in my time, but .....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 18 January 2015, 06:38:07 PM
He's a very good irritant.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 January 2015, 09:26:21 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 18 January 2015, 06:38:07 PM
He's a very good irritant.

Yep - very irritating  :D  :d

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 January 2015, 12:06:32 PM
You can tell Buk's back, I've just had to restock the malts...
And the cinzano?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 23 January 2015, 12:14:24 PM
Does he mix them in the same glass?  :o :o :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 23 January 2015, 01:20:37 PM
Mmmmmm - tasty.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 25 January 2015, 02:45:13 PM
Do the pages in this thread go beyond 99?

[Go on ......do it ...... you know you want to post!  :d]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 January 2015, 02:48:00 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 25 January 2015, 02:45:13 PM
Do the pages in this thread go beyond 99?

[Go on ......do it ...... you know you want to post!  :d]

Only if your a paid up member
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 January 2015, 02:59:44 PM
99, with a flake? Yum!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 January 2015, 03:58:22 PM
Oi! Who hit me with that chair!? It was SUPPOSED to be the balsa one!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 January 2015, 04:04:44 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 25 January 2015, 02:45:13 PM
Do the pages in this thread go beyond 99?

[Go on ......do it ...... you know you want to post!  :d]

Who let Junior Officers in here?  They will drink all the quaffing turps.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 January 2015, 04:10:13 PM
Sorry!

Here, your turn, hit me with this pointless object in return.

Hey, look, it's a script!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 January 2015, 04:12:59 PM
You think I Follow A SCRIPT......gime dat bottle of single malt....it's a club - its a club (CRASH) - it's a dagger...

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 January 2015, 04:13:43 PM
It's on your tab...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 January 2015, 04:48:39 PM
... and all down the back of my jacket!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 January 2015, 04:49:28 PM
My bad  :-[

That's not single malt, it's just where fsn chewed it.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 January 2015, 05:04:09 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 25 January 2015, 02:45:13 PM
Do the pages in this thread go beyond 99 ?

Don't see why not.....The Totty thread is up to page 138, I think....Not that I ever look at that.
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 January 2015, 05:06:26 PM
Well done Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 January 2015, 05:08:36 PM
I knew I shouldn't have huddled in the oven, while it was switched on !
Phewwottascorcha !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 26 January 2015, 08:17:41 AM
Quote from: Techno on 25 January 2015, 05:04:09 PM
Don't see why not.....The Totty thread is up to page 138, I think....Not that I ever look at that.
Cheers - Phil

Just trying to prove another racial characteristic are we Phil ????

IanS  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 January 2015, 08:40:57 AM
 :P ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 26 January 2015, 09:27:29 AM
Single malt? I only drink doubles. As for using it as a weapon - you'll have to wait until I've finished the bottle.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 28 January 2015, 11:31:54 AM
Holy hell!  :o

I've been away for a year; what have you done to this place???

Who's responsible for this décor?

I want answers...now!  >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 28 January 2015, 01:52:25 PM
FSN
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 28 January 2015, 07:00:31 PM
I rather like the puce and lavender!

Goes with the bruises I get every time I come in here.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 January 2015, 07:02:14 PM
*Thwack of pool cue on FSN's satchel*

But you didn't have to paint the entire dartboard tope!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 28 January 2015, 07:04:17 PM
Dammit! Painting those pool cues lavender means I don't see them coming!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 29 January 2015, 08:45:48 AM
OPEN YOUR EYESNobby

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 29 January 2015, 08:55:14 AM
Who's idea was it to paint the pool table in splinter camouflage? I wanted to pot the magnolia ball into the top left pocket - but I can't find the ball or the pocket.  >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 29 January 2015, 08:56:39 AM
WHO put A POOL TABLE in here - We'll be getting a Juke Box with Crap on it soon.

IanS  >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 29 January 2015, 09:08:53 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 29 January 2015, 08:56:39 AM
WHO put A POOL TABLE in here

IanS  >:(

And who painted it pink!!!

Right FSN, you created this mess, you're going to sort it out!  The postage ban's been lifted so Leon's shipped four gross of Valejo VAL72104 he's been trying to shift.

Here's a size 1 brush, GET GOING!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 29 January 2015, 09:11:03 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 29 January 2015, 08:56:39 AM
WHO put A POOL TABLE in here - We'll be getting a Juke Box with Crap on it soon.

IanS  >:(

It's been here for months - what do you think those long sticks you keep getting hit with are for?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 29 January 2015, 09:13:23 AM
Hitting IanRS!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 January 2015, 09:23:12 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 29 January 2015, 08:56:39 AM
We'll be getting a Juke Box with Crap on it soon.

Ah! Bit late there. But it does only have military songs on it.

"Waterloo" by ABBA,
"Fire!" by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown
"Hurricane" by Bob Dylan
"Grenade" by Bruno Mars
"Bang Bang - my baby shot me down" by Nancy Sinatra
"I shot the Sherif" by Eric Clapton
"Tank you very much" by the Scaffold

and

"Hello Marder, Hello Panther" by Allan Sherman

Quote from: getagrip on 29 January 2015, 09:08:53 AM
Here's a size 1 brush, GET GOING!
Good to have music whilst you work.

I think I'll put a reclining nude Lemmey over the bar. Might even paint one!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 29 January 2015, 09:36:16 AM
Quote from: fsn on 29 January 2015, 09:23:12 AM
Ah! Bit late there. But it does only have military songs on it.

"Waterloo" by ABBA,
"Fire!" by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown
"Hurricane" by Bob Dylan
"Grenade" by Bruno Mars
"Bang Bang - my baby shot me down" by Nancy Sinatra
"I shot the Sherif" by Eric Clapton
"Tank you very much" by the Scaffold

and

"Hello Marder, Hello Panther" by Allan Sherman

  =D>  ;D

Also...

"Bang Bang" BA Robertson
"Oliver's Army" Elvis Costello
"I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper" Sarah Brightman
"Under Attack" Abba
"Love is a Battlefield" Pat Benatar
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 January 2015, 09:37:50 AM
Good too have you back!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Subedai on 29 January 2015, 11:06:44 AM
'Feuer Frei' (Fire at will), Rammstein.
'Reise. Reise' (Reveille), Rammstein.
'Aftermath (Battle of the Field of Shirts)' Saor Patrol.
'Brothers Fallen' Saor Patrol.

An an oldie but a goodie.

'Battle of New Orleans' Lonnie Donegan.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Matt J on 29 January 2015, 11:29:12 AM
'Trooper' Iron Maiden  m/
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 29 January 2015, 12:11:00 PM
Sorry - I did add an extra letter in the bit about the Juke Box.....


IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 January 2015, 12:13:02 PM
Soldier of the line - Magnum
Starship Trooper - Yes
Shoot to thrill - AC/DC
Brothers in Arms - Dire Straights
Over the top - Cozy Powell
In the army now - Status Quo
Throw down the sword - Wishbone Ash.
Nobby's Centurion - Techno  ;)

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 29 January 2015, 12:26:27 PM
"Swords of a Thousand Men" Tenpole Tudor
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 29 January 2015, 01:21:45 PM
"Civil War" - Guns'n'Roses
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 29 January 2015, 01:33:29 PM
Bit of culture:

1812 overture...ooh, get me!   :-B
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 January 2015, 01:37:36 PM
The 3 man 'synthesized' version of that, at the end of 'Over the top' is damn good too !  ;)
Heresy !  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 29 January 2015, 01:53:37 PM
.. nina ... nina ... 19!

(Paul Hardcastle)



Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 January 2015, 06:04:47 PM
19 (not out)
Rory Bremner ;D

In a more serious note:
Theme from The Great Escape
Burning Bridges
Colonel Bogey
Dambusters March
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: haupt on 29 January 2015, 06:19:55 PM
Army Dreamers   Kate Bush
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 29 January 2015, 06:25:12 PM
Quote from: haupt on 29 January 2015, 06:19:55 PM
Army Dreamers   Kate Bush

Ooh; quality track.

We allowing anti war songs FSN?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 January 2015, 08:06:13 PM
If he doesn't I'll fight him for Edwin Starr 'War'!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 29 January 2015, 09:39:59 PM
Whatever takes your fancy chaps.

Back to the classical with

"Wellington's Victory" and "The Nelson Requiem".


I'm parched ... where's Lemmey? Oh ... still on that shelf above the bar where I left him.

Could I have 2/3rd of a litre of Buckfast with a splash of absinthe? And ice, but no lemon. That would be weird.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 January 2015, 10:48:26 PM
ICE!
Just take it outside for five minutes, it will be frozen solid!

*Sound of metal bucket impacting on FSN from second shelf*

Now, excuse me while I abseil off this shelf, wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2015, 09:34:10 AM
You know know, being inside inside this bucket bucket give me a good idea idea of what it must have been like like in a great helm helm??

and a headache ache

Please stop drumming on the top top!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 30 January 2015, 09:45:57 AM
Quote from: fsn on 30 January 2015, 09:34:10 AM

Please stop drumming on the top top!

(Reaches for a 12lb sledgehammer and takes huge swing)


BONG!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 30 January 2015, 09:49:29 AM

Sorry to interrupt

Has anyone seen my pet tarantula ?

I left it in ML's metal bucket that was on the shelf. I was cleaning out its tank and thought it would be safe there for a couple of hours, but now its disappeared

FSN would you please stop shouting everything twice I am trying to ask a question

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Subedai on 30 January 2015, 09:52:36 AM
'War Pigs' Black Sabbath
'Soldier Blue' Buffy St Marie
'one,two, three, what are we fighting for?' Country Joe and the Fish
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2015, 10:02:27 AM
What? What?

Can't hear because of the banginging and something's tickling my ear ear
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 30 January 2015, 10:04:48 AM


What was loud ringing sound?

The dressing bell is a little early today isnt it?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 30 January 2015, 10:05:13 AM
Mind you, I thought that doughnut was a bit hairy.....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 30 January 2015, 10:05:55 AM
Quote from: fsn on 30 January 2015, 10:02:27 AM
What? What?

Can't hear because of the banginging and something's tickling my ear ear

(Fetches industrial Jack-Hammer)

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG!!!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 30 January 2015, 10:06:55 AM
Was the jam nice ?

Pint pleeese

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 January 2015, 12:24:00 PM
Oooh! I've got such a headache!

And I've gone deaf!

Don't think I'd like to wear a bucket on my head whilst fighting salad in the dessert.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 30 January 2015, 12:29:34 PM
Quote from: fsn on 30 January 2015, 12:24:00 PM
fighting salad in the dessert.

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 31 January 2015, 08:40:38 AM
That was fun.

Anyone for breakfast?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 31 January 2015, 09:12:55 AM
I'll have the full Scottish please? Bacon, sausages, fried bread, mushrooms, lorne sausage, tatie scones, fried eqqs, pint of whisky, white puddin',  and a sprig of parsley for decoration?

Actually, hold the parsley. I'm watching my figure.  :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 31 January 2015, 09:15:02 AM
You missed the 8 pints of HEAVY.....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 31 January 2015, 09:17:07 AM
Already had them!  @-)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 31 January 2015, 09:27:42 AM
That would explain why I need to change the barrel!

Can't do a full Scottish, how about a full Irish?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 31 January 2015, 09:47:38 AM
What's the difference?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 31 January 2015, 09:49:20 AM
White pudding, and Guinness!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 31 January 2015, 09:53:36 AM
Quote from: fsn on 31 January 2015, 09:12:55 AM
I'll have the full Scottish please? Bacon, sausages, fried bread, mushrooms, lorne sausage, tatie scones, fried eqqs, pint of whisky, white puddin',  and a sprig of parsley for decoration?

Actually, hold the parsley. I'm watching my figure.  :-[

With or without Angina?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 31 January 2015, 10:00:02 AM
Where's Angina, then ?
I'm not very good at Gography......I can't spell it either.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 31 January 2015, 10:08:52 AM
"Gography", the study of old English mythical giants. See also "Magography".
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 31 January 2015, 10:13:59 AM
 ;D ;D
Very good, Ray !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 31 January 2015, 11:39:26 AM
And what is this prawnography one hears so much about?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 31 January 2015, 11:45:56 AM
Hornographic Productions was the (alledged) production company that featured on Kenneth Horn's Round the Horn programme in the seventies. Never failed to get a laugh.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 31 January 2015, 12:18:09 PM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 31 January 2015, 11:39:26 AM
And what is this prawnography one hears so much about?
I remember studying the Malaysian King Prawn. What an upper crust asian that was.   8->


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 31 January 2015, 06:29:51 PM
That deserves your coat being FLUNG at you !!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 31 January 2015, 08:19:46 PM
Quote from: Techno on 31 January 2015, 06:29:51 PM
That deserves your coat being FLUNG at you !!  ;D ;D ;D

I know. Even I cringed when I clicked on "Post"  :-[

Davy
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 31 January 2015, 09:11:01 PM
Come to think of it ... it was not that bad ... (says he just back from pub  :-\) .... its the kinda thing you'd expect from Tim Vine, I suppose.  :)

Speaking of Tim Vine (all his own work) ....

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"

"You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox."

... and finally ...

"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."  :)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 31 January 2015, 10:29:22 PM
Other Tim Vine:

I was at a football match and at the start the ref came out, I thought: this is going to kick off.

I watched 90 minutes, it was 0-0, then some Japanese blokes dressed in black came out: we had 30 minutes of ninjary time.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 01 February 2015, 08:43:29 AM
 X_X
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 01 February 2015, 12:51:54 PM
 ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: Techno on 31 January 2015, 06:29:51 PM
That deserves your coat being FLUNG at you !!  ;D ;D ;D

In my part of Scotland, we say, "Get aeys jaykit!"
........ which is much better than, "Pick a windae!"  :-q


Soooo, when is this bar going to open again?
(cabbage whizzes past left ear)  ....... :o ............... is "Crackerjack back on?" ........]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 February 2015, 02:07:35 PM
Has no one told him the opening hours yet?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 01 February 2015, 02:26:07 PM
24/7 . changed by that nice Mr Blair about 10 years ago....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 01 February 2015, 02:58:23 PM
Its jokes like those that can start a bar figh.... oh.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 02 February 2015, 01:55:54 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 01 February 2015, 02:58:23 PM
Its jokes like those that can start a bar figh.... oh.

:D ;D :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 February 2015, 08:27:30 PM
Right, which of you lot put 'It's a small world' on repeat on the jukebox?!?
Some of us work here you know!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 12 February 2015, 08:54:53 PM
I've just had the back off the jukebox and all the cd's have been swapped for "it's a small world"....

Apart from one which is labelled: "Dogtanian" and it's got this weird green stuff all over it :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 13 February 2015, 08:20:35 AM
Nuffin' to do with me, Tosh !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 13 February 2015, 10:56:08 AM
I was out feeding the piranhas - hang on while I count my fingers.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 February 2015, 12:46:36 PM
I've just been having a dip in the new pool - the one where the fish nibble at your dead skin - excellent - they even feed you sausages - thought to be honest they tasted like unwashed hands.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 13 February 2015, 12:57:05 PM
I was looking for some new CDs for the jukebox (YES!  CDs!  Downloads are a rip off) and found all these Mills and Boon books; anyone know who they belong to?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Leman on 13 February 2015, 02:09:42 PM
FK - he reads them so he can correct the glaring grammatical mistakes.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 13 February 2015, 02:39:39 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 13 February 2015, 10:56:08 AM
I was out feeding the piranhas - hang on while I count my fingers.
Take long?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 13 February 2015, 02:41:39 PM
Dunno, I can't find my hand...   :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 13 February 2015, 02:42:58 PM
* wanders in*

Anyone like some cocktail sausages?

They seem a bit damp but should cook up ok

There isnt much but its going to be dinnertime soon so some fingerfood might just fill the gap
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 13 February 2015, 02:44:28 PM
Quote from: fsn on 13 February 2015, 12:46:36 PM
I've just been having a dip in the new pool - the one where the fish nibble at your dead skin - excellent - they even feed you sausages
I would watch these fish, fsn. Sounds like they're fattening you up!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 13 February 2015, 02:51:38 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 13 February 2015, 02:42:58 PM
* wanders in*

Anyone like some cocktail sausages?

They seem a bit damp but should cook up ok

There isnt much but its going to be dinnertime soon so some fingerfood might just fill the gap

Are you a fish in disguise? What have you done with Fenton?!  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 13 February 2015, 03:00:12 PM
GUN - far far far to technical for you Phil.....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 February 2015, 11:18:57 AM
Fish finger anyone?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 14 February 2015, 11:20:20 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 14 February 2015, 11:18:57 AM
Fish finger anyone?

Here we go... :D

Phil, you ready with the coats?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 14 February 2015, 11:50:20 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 14 February 2015, 11:18:57 AM
Fish finger anyone?
Dare you to say that in the Top Totty thread.


(I'll get my coat, Phil)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 February 2015, 11:58:00 AM
Was not expecting that!  ;D

Ladies fingers anyone?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 14 February 2015, 12:00:13 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 14 February 2015, 11:58:00 AM

Ladies fingers anyone?

Do they?  Really? :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 14 February 2015, 12:04:44 PM
Don't bother going to see 50 Shades of Grey.  There is NOT ONE Austrian uniform in it.  Very misleading title.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 14 February 2015, 12:05:20 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 14 February 2015, 12:04:44 PM
Don't bother going to see 50 Shades of Grey.  There is NOT ONE Austrian uniform in it.  Very misleading title.

;D =D> ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 14 February 2015, 12:08:25 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 14 February 2015, 12:04:44 PM
Don't bother going to see 50 Shades of Grey.  There is NOT ONE Austrian uniform in it.  Very misleading title.

I had always presumed the book and the film were all about the life and times of John Major
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 14 February 2015, 12:38:38 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 14 February 2015, 12:04:44 PM
Don't bother going to see 50 Shades of Grey.  There is NOT ONE Austrian uniform in it.  Very misleading title.
;D

My in-laws went to see Last Tango in Paris thinking it was a dance picture!  :o X_X

My Dad went to see The Guns of Navarone thinking it was a western.  <)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 14 February 2015, 12:46:24 PM
I went to see Lesbos in Love;

I honestly thought it was about a holiday romance in Greece :o :o :o

Coat's already on :D :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 14 February 2015, 01:32:33 PM
 :D =D>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 14 February 2015, 01:44:36 PM
"Went to see" = "delivered discreetly in plain package"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 February 2015, 01:55:07 PM
Lol
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 14 February 2015, 02:16:55 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 14 February 2015, 01:44:36 PM
"Went to see" = "delivered discreetly in plain package"

For goodness sake! Don't you know this is the Century of the Fruitbat! Performed by the tiny demons the wizard Jobs trapped within his iPod!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 14 February 2015, 04:08:14 PM
I thought it was a review of garden structures - Fifty Sheds of Grey.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 14 February 2015, 04:19:47 PM
Written by Jabba the Shed?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 14 February 2015, 04:24:30 PM
No, Pizza the Hut
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 14 February 2015, 06:15:07 PM

:D  ;D (Hoe, hoe, hoe)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 14 February 2015, 06:20:39 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 14 February 2015, 06:15:07 PM
:D  ;D (Hoe, hoe, hoe)

What a tool :D :D :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 February 2015, 06:22:15 PM
Coat time !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 March 2015, 05:24:32 PM
I'm so nervous about the competition, I need a drink.

What's this sign? "You can drink from my slipper"?

I'm not falling for that one again. Last time I thought he said the slipper belonged to "Milday", but he actually said "mmm ... Lemmey".

Took me ages to get the taste of corn plaster out my mouth, and the policeman didn't believe me when I said it was athlete's foot powder round my nose. Suppose I should have guessed when it was a size 11. Either that or because it was shaped as Homer Simpson. In my defence, I've never had a good look at Milady's feet - obviously because she's always in a ball gown - and Lemmey's slingbacks are quite deceptive.

This time it's one of Techno's slippers. That'll probably be some sort of old Croc (make your own jokes up) with unidentified equine substances on the sole. He'll be  slopping around a soggy field with one bare foot. Probably thinks it's some kind of living archaeology, though it's doubtless still de rigeur in the backend of the backend of Wales in which he lives.

Think I'll pass on the slipper. What's the guest beer? Fierce Kitty's Bitter. Oh ... that's not the guest beer ... that's just a statement of fact. Is that the guest beer there? Fenton's Firkin! Is that just a statement? ... no? I think I'll pass anyway. The name just puts images in my mind I don't want there.

Perhaps I'll just have a glass of wine. The house white today is ... Ouestmarcheur Pap du Slop, 2015. Should it have that many cobwebs on it when it's so young? Wonder where it's been? Let's see the description ... "fruity, cheeky with a hint of rhubarb. Should be laid down  ... for a long time. A really long time." Not really selling it to me.

What's this? Cocktail of the day? A White Russian?

That's for me!

 


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 March 2015, 05:38:07 PM
Strange no one ever orders Red Russians...

Can you sling my slingback back please, Techno's Guinness is hell to scrape out, especially when he's been mucking out with them.

Size 9, wide fitting btw! 💃
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 March 2015, 05:45:33 PM
You're not going to wear silver slingbacks with those brown socks are you?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 01 March 2015, 05:47:05 PM
Quote from: fsn on 01 March 2015, 05:45:33 PM
You're not going to wear silver slingbacks with those brown socks are you?

He's got to, his sandles are worn out.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 March 2015, 06:14:22 PM
Hang on - that's not socks! You been pressing beer again Lemmey?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 March 2015, 08:10:02 PM
Nah, it's the residue of the aforementioned Guinness!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 01 March 2015, 09:02:07 PM
Bar-keep - Make me a Red Russian.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 01 March 2015, 09:08:10 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 01 March 2015, 09:02:07 PM
Bar-keep - Make me a Red Russian.

Your what? :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 01 March 2015, 09:58:07 PM
 :D

Black Russian springs to mind ....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5A55eWbiBI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5A55eWbiBI)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 March 2015, 11:18:02 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 01 March 2015, 09:02:07 PM
Bar-keep - Make me a Red Russian.
Which version?
"A Red Russian is a cocktail named for its red color. A Red Russian is usually made up of equal parts Vodka and either cherry liqueur or strawberry schnapps. It has also been prepared with tomato or cranberry juice. In the former Soviet Union during World War II, it was sometimes prepared with boiled cow blood. While traditionally served over ice, it can be served warm."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 02 March 2015, 12:24:48 AM
Strawberry Schnapps version.  What kind of brute drinks tomato juice?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 02 March 2015, 04:55:34 AM
I love the stuff!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 02 March 2015, 08:16:55 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 02 March 2015, 12:24:48 AM
What kind of brute drinks tomato juice?

:-& :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 02 March 2015, 10:23:31 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 01 March 2015, 09:02:07 PM
Bar-keep - Make me a Red Russian.

Lenin - wasn't he a Red Russian?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 02 March 2015, 05:24:02 PM
Only when he stayed out in the sun for too long.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 02 March 2015, 08:13:17 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 02 March 2015, 10:23:31 AM
Lenin - wasn't he a Red Russian?

And so was Trotsky.

(he got an ice pick that made his ears burn).
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 02 March 2015, 08:42:33 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 02 March 2015, 08:13:17 PM
And so was Trotsky.

(he got an ice pick that made his ears burn).


Whatever happened to those heroes?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 02 March 2015, 09:00:57 PM
Quote from: getagrip on 02 March 2015, 08:42:33 PM
Whatever happened to those heroes?
Alas, they're all toast now.

(golden brown)

:D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 02 March 2015, 09:04:19 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 02 March 2015, 09:00:57 PM
Alas, they're all toast now.

(golden brown)

:D

;D

You get worse; FSN, what's your hand doing now?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 03 March 2015, 10:21:12 AM
Quote from: getagrip on 02 March 2015, 09:04:19 PM
;D

You get worse; FSN, what's your hand doing now?

Do you really want an answer to that?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 03 March 2015, 12:15:23 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


That one isn't bared is it ?

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 March 2015, 12:10:02 PM
Have you been hacked, Ian? Mind you, looks like something Michelangelo might have done...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 March 2015, 12:21:53 PM
Phew.
Thought this thread was getting serious for a minute!

Picks up half snooker cue... "Fore"!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 04 March 2015, 12:23:41 PM
How do you play half-snooker?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 March 2015, 12:49:11 PM
Badly!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 March 2015, 01:02:20 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 04 March 2015, 12:10:02 PM
Have you been hacked, Ian? Mind you, looks like something Michelangelo might have done...

Isn't that Leonardo - who was not a friend of Michelangelo's?


Must remember to cut my nails  - FSN
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 04 March 2015, 01:02:29 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 04 March 2015, 12:21:53 PM


Picks up half snooker cue... "Fore"!

(Whizzes past ear).

Oi!  Who's just thrown a snooker ball in my pint? >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 March 2015, 01:41:14 PM
If it's the black, I claim a free shot!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 04 March 2015, 03:47:27 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 04 March 2015, 01:41:14 PM
If it's the black, I claim a free shot!

Have it back then...

(Retrieves ball, throws back at Will and misses).
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 March 2015, 03:55:20 PM
Not the sort of way I expect a brigadier to behave !
1,500 and counting !  :o
Congrats, Gareth.
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 04 March 2015, 03:56:45 PM
Quote from: Techno on 04 March 2015, 03:55:20 PM
Not the sort of way I expect a brigadier to behave !
1,500 and counting !  :o
Congrats, Gareth.
Cheers - Phil

Yip yip, cheers old bean. 

Drinks on me everyone. 

Someone get FSN out of that teapot.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 04 March 2015, 04:17:59 PM
Leave him alone, at least he's not chewing coats in the teapot. "NO ROOM NO ROOM"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 04 March 2015, 04:36:44 PM
Kettle's boiled :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Matt J on 04 March 2015, 04:46:41 PM
Quote1,500 and counting !  Shocked
Congrats, Gareth.

Crikey you're averaging over 40 posts a day  :o

wonder what that is as a percentage of the total  :-\  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 March 2015, 05:36:27 PM
Well done Gareth!
Oh look! Fireworks!  ;D

Oh no, it's half a snooker ball hitting a peanut travelling at a quarter of the speed of light!  :(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 March 2015, 05:45:02 PM
 
Quote from: Techno on 04 March 2015, 03:55:20 PM
Not the sort of way I expect a brigadier to behave !
1,500 and counting !  :o
Congrats, Gareth.
Cheers - Phil

    <:-P. Oh.....I couldn't be bothered
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 March 2015, 06:07:13 PM
*thinks* Perhaps this teabag disguise in not such a good idea after all.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 04 March 2015, 06:12:04 PM
As an idea its full of holes
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 04 March 2015, 06:13:43 PM
Quote from: Matt of Munslow on 04 March 2015, 04:46:41 PM
Crikey you're averaging over 40 posts a day  :o

Keeps me off the streets :D

Quote from: Fenton on 04 March 2015, 06:12:04 PM
As an idea its full of holes

;D ;D ;D

Pours water into teapot
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 March 2015, 06:10:53 PM
Okay,
Anyone who say the late Sir Terry Pratchett does not deserve the title 'Late Great' can take it outside, NOW!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 12 March 2015, 06:15:24 PM
Yeah! What he said!

I'll hold your coats.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 12 March 2015, 06:32:00 PM
If you mess with Lemmey you mess with me too!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 12 March 2015, 07:34:43 PM
Quote from: fsn on 12 March 2015, 06:15:24 PM
Yeah! What he said!

I'll hold your coats.

OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, I'LL HOLD THE COATS.

SORRY, I'M A LITTLE EARLY.

I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR COAT BACK IN A FEW MINUTES, WHEN WE MEET .... MORE FORMALLY.

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR ACCOUNT BACK FOR NOW .... OH DEAR! I MEAN YOU CAN HAVE YOUR ACCOUNT BACK NOW, ITHORIEL
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 12 March 2015, 08:01:08 PM
Ooh, aren't your eyes blue
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 12 March 2015, 11:29:10 PM
Who's working on a commemorative range?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 13 March 2015, 09:15:16 AM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 12 March 2015, 11:29:10 PM
Who's working on a commemorative range?

They already exist !
But at £7.50 upwards for a single '30mm' figure, they're a bit too pricey for my liking.  :(
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 March 2015, 10:27:48 AM
I meant in 10mm.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 March 2015, 06:41:54 PM
*Slaps Getagrip round the ears with both hands, then nuts him and trip hooks him with a leg!*

Now do you understand Cannae?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 06:45:57 PM
Ow!

Yeah,  so basically,  Hannibal Lector wanted to stop some people who had spears and Centurion tanks so he got some Scottish people to stop them by saying you cannae pass!

Have I got it now?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 March 2015, 06:59:42 PM
Not quite, let's try it again...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 07:02:00 PM
To be fair,  I knew a lot about Hannibal but I don't remember the names of anything or anyone very well.

Useful in my line of work  :D

Anyway,  did you spill my pint? >:(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 March 2015, 07:07:24 PM
No, because your drinking halves of weak shandy!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 March 2015, 07:14:06 PM
Hannibal's generals were Face, Howling Mad and Mr T.

As the Roman army was surrounded, Hannibal bit on his cigar and said "I love it when a plan comes together".

Total casualties in the battle were, of course zero, though one Roman did get a skint knee.  

... and he surveyed the battle from the back of his flying elephant - Dumbo.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 07:18:47 PM
I hope you all catch something painful  :P

Oh, Will, you missed an apostrophe!    So this is how it feels to be FK... :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 15 March 2015, 07:22:42 PM
Quote from: fsn on 15 March 2015, 07:14:06 PM
Hannibal's generals were Face, Howling Mad and Mr T.

As the Roman army was surrounded, Hannibal bit on his cigar and said "I love it when a plan comes together".

Total casualties in the battle were, of course zero, though one Roman did get a skint knee.  

... and he surveyed the battle from the back of his flying elephant - Dumbo.

You forgot about the token female who reported the whole thing
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 March 2015, 07:27:29 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 15 March 2015, 07:22:42 PM
You forgot about the token female who reported the whole thing

She was out with the Mutant Turtles that day.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 07:28:56 PM
Yeah,  all this speculation is fine,  but do we know it really happened?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 March 2015, 07:31:53 PM
Sorry about the missed apostrophe...
Your drinking halves of weak sh'andy!

Is that better?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 15 March 2015, 07:32:54 PM
Quote from: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 07:28:56 PM
Yeah,  all this speculation is fine,  but do we know it really happened?

Well it was on TV for years so it must be true!

What ever happened to Hannibals brothers Mago, Hasdrubal and Haveabanana
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 15 March 2015, 07:33:43 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 15 March 2015, 07:31:53 PM

sh'andy!

Is that better?

Isnt that an Israeli tank?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 07:37:03 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 15 March 2015, 07:33:43 PM
Isnt that an Israeli tank?

No, it's n'ot!

Quote from: mad lemmey on 15 March 2015, 07:31:53 PM
Sorry about the missed apostrophe...
Your drinking halves of weak sh'andy!

Is that better?

M'uch  ;D

Barman,  another pint of sh'andy please!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 March 2015, 08:07:06 PM
*Slides another half over...*

Don't worry chaps, he'll be asleep before he's finished that, he's just got to go through YMP* first!  :'(

*Yeeeerrrrmypallll! (Frequent saying of drunks)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 08:09:48 PM
MumblemumblejustcosIdon'tknowwhereonelittlebattlewasfoughtyou'dthinkitwaslikeI'dthreatenedtodrownapuppyorsomethingwellI'mnotgoingtosithereandlistentoothem.....

Zzz, Zzz, Zzz.....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 March 2015, 08:10:49 PM
Quote from: Fenton on 15 March 2015, 07:32:54 PM
What ever happened to Hannibals brothers Mago, Hasdrubal and Haveabanana

Mago married Jerry and they moved in next door to the Tom and Barbara Goode.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 15 March 2015, 08:20:29 PM
Quote from: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 08:09:48 PM
MumblemumblejustcosIdon'tknowwhereonelittlebattlewasfoughtyou'dthinkitwaslikeI'dthreatenedtodrownapuppyorsomethingwellI'mnotgoingtosithereandlistentoothem.....

Zzz, Zzz, Zzz.....

Ah good he's asleep

* quickly gets out Observer Book of Battles for Boys*

Ah here it is  page 27. The Battle of Cannae was fought between Carthage....CARTHAGE  what & where the hell is Carthage.?....


Better google it all later...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 08:27:25 PM
Whassa...who said tha...I'll fight you all...

Flings pot of superglue and tub of baking soda at Fenton, FSN and Lemmey
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 March 2015, 08:31:09 PM
Stand fast chaps! We'll get through this if we stick together!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 15 March 2015, 08:32:11 PM
*stuck for words*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 March 2015, 08:48:42 PM
Nail polish remover chaps?

You might want to take the cherry on a stick out?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 March 2015, 08:55:20 PM
Why are you carrying nail polish remover?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 15 March 2015, 09:04:21 PM
So he can have "No More Nails?"



(dammit. why have all the good glue jokes been cracked already?)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 March 2015, 09:06:51 PM
Nik thinks it's cinzano...  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 15 March 2015, 09:08:05 PM
Tastes better than Cinzano  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 16 March 2015, 09:19:30 AM
Melted down tyres taste better than Cinzano.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 16 March 2015, 10:04:55 AM
You'll get a Michelin star with cocktails like that :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Matt J on 16 March 2015, 10:27:34 AM
 =D> just read the last couple of pages of this thread at work and laughed my pants off!

Keep up the good work

and a white Russian when you're ready barman (FSN knows how to make them)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 16 March 2015, 10:33:42 AM
For our next subject we shall be examining the social interaction of fire-ants. Won't we, chaps? Er... chaps?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 March 2015, 10:47:07 AM
A White Russian, there you go Matt.

Fire ants are on strike, have a bucket of army ants instead!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 16 March 2015, 11:01:37 AM
And they're making their way at top speed towards the White Russian. I'd get it down you before they get there, Matt.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 16 March 2015, 11:42:15 AM
Ooh, a jar filled with pretty little red ants.  Aren't they sweet...

Hey everyone, look at these pretty ants...(trip, drop, smash!)

Oops! :-[  Oh well, never mind, sure they'll find somewhere warm and dark to find a new home...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 17 March 2015, 11:53:55 AM
Yep, probably up your left trouser leg.  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Matt J on 17 March 2015, 12:03:17 PM
Kev's gonna be right p*ssed when he finds out what happened to his work force
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 March 2015, 01:10:06 PM
 =O =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 17 March 2015, 01:11:47 PM
 ;D  ;D  =D>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 March 2015, 01:27:07 PM
Very good, Matt   ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 March 2015, 06:57:25 PM
The next round is on me, looks like I've landed a job for the summer term! It's about, Ohhh, one street away!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 19 March 2015, 07:11:05 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 March 2015, 06:57:25 PM
The next round is on me, looks like I've landed a job for the summer term! It's about, Ohhh, one street away!

Nice one Will, congrats  =D>

Can you handle the commute? :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 March 2015, 07:13:55 PM
Not sure. Timed it today. 3 minutes by foot.

However, no excuse for forgetting anything now!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 19 March 2015, 07:15:56 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 March 2015, 07:13:55 PM
Not sure. Timed it today. 3 minutes by foot.

However, no excuse for forgetting anything now!

Double edged sword  ;)

Hour commute each way for me >:(

Good job and great school though so ho hum  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 March 2015, 07:18:42 PM
Does mean I live in catchment and weekends will be full of "Hello Mr Denham!" for a term...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 19 March 2015, 07:19:47 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 March 2015, 07:18:42 PM
Does mean I live in catchment and weekends will be full of "Hello Mr Denham!" for a term...

I did that once,  it's like being famous without the accompanying bank balance  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 19 March 2015, 07:25:06 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 March 2015, 07:18:42 PM
Does mean I live in catchment and weekends will be full of "Hello Mr Denham!" for a term...

I have the solution.

Dark sunglasses and a false beard. And a dress.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 19 March 2015, 07:45:56 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 19 March 2015, 07:25:06 PM
I have the solution.

Dark sunglasses and a false beard. And a dress.

That's just silly, it's not sunny enough for sunglasses.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 March 2015, 07:50:56 PM
I thought that's what Will normally wore.  :-\

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 19 March 2015, 08:05:12 PM
Think I can beat you.

Close from my front door to the main gate than it is from the gate to my office.

I can't claim snow days though.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 March 2015, 01:14:41 PM
*Puts a couple of bottles of after sun out*

Might be a few wargamers who have been outside today, the pastiness of their skin burns quicker than a whelk in a supernova!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 22 March 2015, 01:19:12 PM
I know. I was so worried, I listened to the eclipse on the radio. Dead exciting.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 March 2015, 02:21:38 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 05 April 2015, 04:27:11 PM
*Throws easter egg in direction of half light speed peanut...*
Shrapnel!
*Airburst!*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 05 April 2015, 04:53:05 PM
Ow!

Who threw that?

(Loads blunderbuss with Cadbury's buttons and mini creme eggs).

Take that!

BLAM!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 05 April 2015, 04:56:47 PM
Quote from: getagrip on 05 April 2015, 04:53:05 PM
Ow!

Who threw that?

(Loads blunderbuss with Cadbury's buttons and mini creme eggs).

Take tha!

BLAM!

You can clean the danmd thing - melted chocolate all the way up it......

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 05 April 2015, 05:13:36 PM
That's it, unleash the beast!
*puts Lindt gold bunny on the bar*
Sick him!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 05 April 2015, 05:14:35 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 05 April 2015, 05:13:36 PM
That's it, unleash the beast!
*puts Lindt gold bunny on the bar*
Sick him!

But sire, it's only a chocolate rabbit.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 05 April 2015, 07:29:28 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 05 April 2015, 05:13:36 PM
That's it, unleash the beast!
*puts Lindt gold bunny on the bar*
Sick him!

Call up the Holy Hand-Grenade of Antioch!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 05 April 2015, 07:34:17 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 05 April 2015, 07:29:28 PM
Call up the Holy Hand-Grenade of Antioch!

That's a chocolate orange!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 05 April 2015, 07:36:58 PM
Or possibly a clockwork orange...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 05 April 2015, 07:38:25 PM
Thought was the forum bar not the Korova Milkbar my droog?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 06 April 2015, 08:14:40 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 05 April 2015, 07:29:28 PM
Call up the Holy Hand-Grenade of Antioch!

And 3 shall be the number - 4 is right out,

IanS  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 06 April 2015, 09:02:22 AM
Oh no,  he's thrown the pin and held the Holy Chocolate Orange of Antioch!  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 06 April 2015, 10:19:49 AM
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 06 April 2015, 10:20:54 AM
OK, volunteers to help rebuild the public bar?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 06 April 2015, 10:31:55 AM
Dagnabbit, someone scrape FSN from the wall, AGAIN!
And Ithorial from the floor, he's not injured, just one too many Pangalacticgargleblaster
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 06 April 2015, 11:15:35 AM
Ooh, another rebuild.

What colour scheme this time Nobby?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 06 April 2015, 12:05:34 PM
I rather like the current rust red shade.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 06 April 2015, 12:06:36 PM
That's just dried blood from Techno wiping the bar down!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 06 April 2015, 12:07:19 PM
Oh no,  is Matron leaking again?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 06 April 2015, 12:33:02 PM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 06 April 2015, 10:20:54 AM
OK, volunteers to help rebuild the public bar?

I only drink in the saloon
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 06 April 2015, 01:07:08 PM
I've been looking at the Dulux-Citadel colour chart, and I think "Wolfsbane" on the signature wall, but contrast it with "Zombie Kidney" elsewhere,  with perhaps some "Orc Phlem" to pick out some of the details in the corner. Much as we have now. I do wish he wouldn't do that.

The gents could be "Weeping Pus" and the ladies a nice shade of "Elven Incontinence".

Actually, I'll have a pint of Elven Incontinence, but hold the shamrock this time.   
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 06 April 2015, 01:34:20 PM
I always liked Techno Triage and Oik boil they compliment each other nicely
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 06 April 2015, 01:40:41 PM
Quote from: fsn on 06 April 2015, 01:07:08 PM
I've been looking at the Dulux-Citadel colour chart, and I think "Wolfsbane" on the signature wall, but contrast it with "Zombie Kidney" elsewhere,  with perhaps some "Orc Phlem" to pick out some of the details in the corner. Much as we have now. I do wish he wouldn't do that.

The gents could be "Weeping Pus" and the ladies a nice shade of "Elven Incontinence".

Actually, I'll have a pint of Elven Incontinence, but hold the shamrock this time.   


Sorry Nobby,  that's what they were called last week.  :(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 06 April 2015, 02:09:42 PM
Cocktails? On a Monday!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 06 April 2015, 03:04:10 PM
it is Easter!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 06 April 2015, 03:45:18 PM
Quote from: fsn on 06 April 2015, 03:04:10 PM
it is Easter!



Chocolate liqueurs all round then... :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 06 April 2015, 05:33:00 PM
In bunny shaped glasses?
Oh go on
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 06 April 2015, 05:45:38 PM
Ummm. Lemmey. You really didn't need to dig out that old Playboy Bunny costume.

:-&

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 06 April 2015, 06:08:19 PM
Sorry, think the moths have been at it...
Been a while since it's seen daylight, surprised there are holes there though!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 06 April 2015, 06:12:38 PM
Not only that, the tail is all ... moth eaten.

You could at least have shaved your legs.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 07 April 2015, 11:18:29 AM
You'll have a hell of job getting the fishnets off.  #-o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 April 2015, 09:22:17 PM
Jus' been to Hertsblue's promotion. Just shows it's not the life in the man, it's who you know. What? Don't know what he was serving. Tasted like it came in a tanker. Still, we've all done that. Hah! Not like the old days. Remember that night when ... where's the barman? ... of course, nobody knew he was ... and a scotch for me ... and then she went and said ... no, a double ... no ice ... and then of course the dog had to be put down. Hah! Dog put down! This glass is empty ... Barman! So Hers'blue is a general. Who'd have thought ... same again, but this time make it a proper double ... anyway, surprised he wasn't drummed out after the scandal ... did this Scotch come from a German supermarket? ... the casting dwarf had to be put down, of course. Hah! Dwarf put down. Was there any Scotch in this at all or is it just melt'd ice? Pity though, the Dwarf was a talented eagle ... eqil  ... a question ... rider.  Bloody good on the back of any quadruped your Casting Dwarf. No, just 'cos it's Mc something doesn't mean it's a good brand. "McMueller" is not a good malt.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 April 2015, 10:15:46 PM
Who gave him semi-skimmed milk instead of skimmed!  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 22 April 2015, 11:34:22 PM
Quote from: fsn on 22 April 2015, 09:22:17 PM
Jus' been to Hertsblue's promotion. Just shows it's not the life in the man, it's who you know. What? Don't know what he was serving. Tasted like it came in a tanker. Still, we've all done that. Hah! Not like the old days. Remember that night when ... where's the barman? ... of course, nobody knew he was ... and a scotch for me ... and then she went and said ... no, a double ... no ice ... and then of course the dog had to be put down. Hah! Dog put down! This glass is empty ... Barman! So Hers'blue is a general. Who'd have thought ... same again, but this time make it a proper double ... anyway, surprised he wasn't drummed out after the scandal ... did this Scotch come from a German supermarket? ... the casting dwarf had to be put down, of course. Hah! Dwarf put down. Was there any Scotch in this at all or is it just melt'd ice? Pity though, the Dwarf was a talented eagle ... eqil  ... a question ... rider.  Bloody good on the back of any quadruped your Casting Dwarf. No, just 'cos it's Mc something doesn't mean it's a good brand. "McMueller" is not a good malt.

Sergeant, would you be so good as to make sure the General gets back to his room.  I fear that last small port was served in a dirty glass and he has picked up a bug.  Make sure his Batman makes him drink lots of water.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 23 April 2015, 06:19:55 AM
And take his tablets away..... at once !  X_X
Man knows he's not supposed to mix those with milk.

Barman ! ....Pint of absinthe, if you'd be so kind.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 April 2015, 07:04:15 AM
Here you go Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 23 April 2015, 07:19:38 AM
Did you have to put a cocktail umbrella in it, Will ?

Oooh !.....Look !....It's dissolving.  :o

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 23 April 2015, 09:07:28 AM
Quote from: Techno on 23 April 2015, 06:19:55 AM
And take his tablets away..... at once !  X_X
Man knows he's not supposed to mix those with milk.


Man knows he's not supposed to mix them with saliva either - but he does. Hence the green tinge around the nostrils.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 23 April 2015, 10:54:25 AM
Quote from: Hertsblue on 23 April 2015, 09:07:28 AM
Man knows he's not supposed to mix them with saliva either - but he does. Hence the green tinge around the nostrils.

He's not been pushing green stuff up his nostrils again, has he ?
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 April 2015, 06:30:41 PM
What? Who? Why? What? I didn't know she was your sister! Anyway ... I told Techno to put down the scalpel! What! Hah! Put down the scalpel. My mouth tastes like the aftermath of a stripper's hen party. Barman! A double scotch and vodka. Silly sod cut himself putting it down on the table. By the Dark Lord's Shriveled Privates ... this vodka is as rough as an Elizabethan neck device. Rough! Ruff! Dammit! Sound like a collie. A rough collie. Hah! Rough Collie ... like Lassie. Anyway ... stap me the ice has melted and now I'm drinking water! What kind of establishment is this? A bar! Oh good! Could you get me a pint of proper beer ... if it goes in the same colour as it goes out then it's not proper beer, it's a damned lager! Like the Boers. Saw a casting dwarf ride a boar once. Could you get a tot in that? You could ? Then fill it up with beer, there's a good chap. Poor blighter was a bit confused at first. We had to tell him to put the boar down before he did any lasting damage. Hah! Put the boar down! Didn't I order a pint? Well it went down like a half. Had to punch some Johnny Yankee in the ... yes please a full pint this time ... for putting the BAOR down. Hah! Can't put the BAOR down! They had Centurions ... dammit this windy pop is repeating on me like ... they had Centurions ... dammit this windy pop is repeating on me like ... they had Centurions. Did they? Good for them. Must have been a Legion. What happened to the party? Gone home hours ago, you say? Lightweights. Weren't you a man before? Oh you're a man now? Well isn't modern medicine marvelous? A pint before I go ...       
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 April 2015, 06:32:47 PM
Blimey, you're cutting down FSN!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 April 2015, 06:55:34 PM
... and a merry birthday and a happy new ukulele to you, kind sir, or madam. Sorry I've got my glasses on the wrong eyes, and my glasses are empty. Barman! Bar! Bar! Barry! Barkeep! Barman! Bar! Shop! Bar! Drinkies! Bar! Barry! Bar! ... Bar! ... Who do I have to ... oh there you are.  Sneaking up on a chap like a cat in slippers. I'll have a friend for my one here, and have yourself for one. So what's the garnished ...ghastly ... gassed ...   guest ale? Wait a min ... mini ... minim ... hang on ... I just have to see that ... yes. I have to see that.

Over there.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 23 April 2015, 07:12:12 PM
Blimey!!!. I only mentioned to him outside that Pendraken were thinking of releasing an Aztec range
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 23 April 2015, 07:26:22 PM
He said the A word!!! :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 23 April 2015, 07:32:10 PM
I didn't know the Dray delivered Night nurse in 88 pint draught barrels.    FSN usually only has a shot from the bottle.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 23 April 2015, 07:35:59 PM
I think Nobby's getting very confused.

I just asked him what the time was, and he told me it was ten to Capricorn.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 April 2015, 07:37:32 PM
His watch must be slow, it's at least quarter past Ares.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 23 April 2015, 07:46:39 PM
Maybe he forgot about star sign saving time
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 April 2015, 07:54:40 PM
Mink. Munk. Shot from the bottle! We've all tried it!  I've seen them ... where's my glass? That can't be mine, Old Thing, it's empty. Somebody said it was ten to Capri ... Ah! Those long nights with Gracie Fields. Capri Sun! Not for me. Always pass the straw right through and look like I've done something childish. Has the son passed over the yardarm? Athletic isn't he? Ten to ... that's right Barbie ... a hair of your mother's nightmare ... and diet Coke.  I scubes? I'm sorry, I've had a drink you know. Scubing quite innocently. Anyway, the story is that Disraeli had to put ... whatever happened to James Callaghan ... he was around here a minute ago ... MP for Port ... yes please ... leave the bottle. Anyways James Disraeli ... Hertsblue's a general? Why? Here's cheer! Are you sure that's port? tastes a bit ...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 23 April 2015, 08:02:34 PM
Ah good, hes back to his normal self again
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 23 April 2015, 08:24:38 PM
Ladles and Jellyspoons,

I stand upon thish speech to make a ...a .... a platform. Hic!

An' I would jus' like to say .... like to say .... oh yesh! Just like to say that if you're having half as good a time as I am .... hic ... then .... then ... umm .... I'm having twice as good a time as you are!!

Hertsblue a general .... 'pon my soul ... whatever next ... who'd've thought ....

Hertsblue! May god bless her and all who sail in her!!

'nother pint of rumbaba, barman!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 April 2015, 08:25:56 PM
Hear! Hear!

Another pint of rhubarb crumble!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 23 April 2015, 08:39:13 PM
Here, have a new cocktail I've invented.

It's called a Centurion and comes in a sho't glass.

Slides one down the bar....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 April 2015, 09:31:04 PM
Merkerva having a laugh!
Those track marks are going to take weeks to shift!
To say nothing about the scratches on the bar top!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 April 2015, 09:36:17 PM
Awk! Centurion in a sho't glass. Thass funny because did you know ... what's in this? Garum? Anyway, I was saying that Prime Minister Jim Callaghan was ... tomato juice? Or am I bleeding from the nose again? Centurion ... you can get stuff now in Tesco's ... they need the money ... you put it in your water when ... not your water ... the water you use when you press you clothes ... and it smells all lavedemony ... and it makes all your shirts smell nice. It's water ... no thank you ... I'll have mine straight ... and you can scent your iron. Lovely tank. Did you you know that the Israeli had a version called a ...

nope, it's gone.

'nother Centurion in a sho't glass!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 23 April 2015, 09:37:25 PM
Slides another sho't down the bar...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 April 2015, 09:42:52 PM
Follows it with the power sander I've just confiscated from Techno!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 23 April 2015, 09:53:11 PM
Ooh, an electric mouse!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 24 April 2015, 12:03:08 AM
You know why he's called it a 'Centurion'?

It makes you slow and heavy.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 April 2015, 08:48:06 AM
Oooh! My head. Must you all type so noisily?

What happened? I think I must have had a piece of bad lemon in my G&T. By Dave's Sacred Hairy Kneecap I feel awful. Last thing I remember was some ugly fat strip-a-gram trying to lap dance Hertsblue. Wore a rose ... just like this one here. I say, are those my trousers over the light fitting? Could somebody get them for me. I'm feeling a bit parky.

Sho't? Yes, I think I have actually. Difficult to tell with this breadstick up my nose.

Excuse me while I crawl into the ladies. If I'm not out in 45 minutes would someone kindly put me out of my misery?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Hertsblue on 24 April 2015, 09:02:04 AM
That was a great night! They were still collecting up the bodies at five o'clock this morning. Highlight of the evening was three major-generals singing the Whiffenpoof Song - in tutus.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 24 April 2015, 09:34:55 PM
A belated congratulations Hb on your ascension to the rank of fool general (well, if everyone else can get away with spelling mistakes, why can't I?). What a bastion you are ... er ... on this great foresk*n forum.   <:-P

:)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 25 April 2015, 03:19:40 AM
It's ok. You've spelled general correctly.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 April 2015, 07:54:14 AM
I  WUZZZ NO WEARING A TUTU

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 April 2015, 08:39:15 AM
Ian, you left your tutu in the snug again.
Nice name tags by the way! Kittens, cuuuuuute!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 April 2015, 08:41:35 AM
Lemmy - duck, this is coming your way - hurls crate of Creme De Menthe


IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 April 2015, 08:49:32 AM
Coo! That deaf duck got squashed by a crate of Creme de Menthe!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 April 2015, 09:02:42 AM
TECHNO! BREAKFAST!

*duck ala creme de menthe scrawled hastily on specials board*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 09:55:02 AM
I presume this place is going to be quiet today with everyone buggering off to the annual  Frankie Howerd Appreciation Society day out at salut-ay
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 April 2015, 09:59:35 AM
Not I said little red hen!

Game of pool?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 10:01:30 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 25 April 2015, 09:59:35 AM
Not I said little red hen!

Game of pool?

Sounds good, let me go get my flippers and snorkel
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 April 2015, 10:07:58 AM
... and I'll get the grenades.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 April 2015, 10:13:25 AM
Superb!
What rules? Shots from the D or behind the line? One or two on the black? Depth charges or hedgehogs?

Where did I put that Mk46 torpedo?

Erm... Think the S has fallen off your trunks...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: getagrip on 25 April 2015, 10:18:43 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 25 April 2015, 10:13:25 AM
Where did I put that Mk46 torpedo?

Ooh, someone's left a baguette here.  And it's got a spinny propeller on the back.

Oh well, it's gone stale, no use to me.  (Throws it over shoulder towards bar.)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 10:58:12 AM
Are we playing inflatable camels count double
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 April 2015, 11:14:11 AM
*ducks torpedo as it splashed in the pool*

Camels only count double if the inflatable crocodile is in the penalty box! Did you notice the rules? It's under no spitting or petting!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 April 2015, 11:32:06 AM
MORNINGTON CRESCENT!

Do I win?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 11:41:20 AM

Only if you have declared a flood alert whilst moving the beach ball forward and avoiding 2 defenders with inflatable mallets while doing an impression of Al Read
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 April 2015, 11:48:10 AM
Oh, the Chelmsford pass-by clause, good play!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 April 2015, 12:05:37 PM
Fenton - impressed - you can quote the rules to Mornington Cresent !

Or did you just make it up ?

Mrs Trellis of North Wales...

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 25 April 2015, 12:08:04 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 25 April 2015, 11:14:11 AM
*ducks torpedo as it splashed in the pool*

Camels only count double if the inflatable crocodile is in the penalty box! Did you notice the rules? It's under no spitting or petting!

Ducks are carrying torpedoes now!? Alarming, what?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 April 2015, 12:09:06 PM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 25 April 2015, 12:08:04 PM
Ducks are carrying torpedoes now!? Alarming, what?

Only ship to shore for re-supply, so long as they dont catch fire in the dock

InaS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 25 April 2015, 12:10:43 PM
Or on deck, doubtless.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 April 2015, 12:11:17 PM
They can't catch much, they're carrying torpedoes!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 12:11:29 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 25 April 2015, 12:05:37 PM
Fenton - impressed - you can quote the rules to Mornington Cresent !

Or did you just make it up ?

Mrs Trellis of North Wales...

IanS

I have a set of rules that have been transcribed on to finest vellum by none other than Humphrey Lyttelton himself!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 April 2015, 12:51:19 PM
Do they have the addendum for Hainault?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 April 2015, 12:54:55 PM
And now some films and TV programs which will be of interest to Pendraken Purchasers and other miniature figure fanciers:

"Dixons of Dock Green"
"The King's Specs" with Geoffrey Brush
"Mr Smith goes to Wash in tan"
"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Aztec Ban"
"Bring me the lead of Alfredo Garcia."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 April 2015, 01:16:18 PM
Harry Potter and the deathly marshmallows ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 April 2015, 01:20:10 PM
Samantha has to leave us now ... she's meeting a casting dwarf, and he hopes she'll play with his miniatures.

He's built up his artillery batteries, and intends to pound her rear area.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 01:20:54 PM
Iron Man: Rise of Technovore
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 April 2015, 01:25:41 PM
Ah yes, who can forget Bo Derek and Dudley Moore in "10?"

Or Lee Marvin in "Paint Your Wagon?"

"The Guns of Navwar Own?"

"Reach for the Skytrex"

"Night of the Jacklex?"

Or perhaps Techno's favourite - "The Agony and the X Acto"






Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 April 2015, 01:30:31 PM
"T34 with Mussolini"

Celebrating Pendraken's immaculate Victorian heroes range - "no Flash Gordon".

"Gregory's Ghoul" (AC24)

"Die another day"

"The Green Pile" - the sad story of Techno's failures.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 April 2015, 01:34:13 PM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 25 April 2015, 01:25:41 PM
Or perhaps Techno's favourite - "The Agony and the X Acto"
=D> Oh! Well played Sir!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 April 2015, 01:37:02 PM
And you say I'm not the most picked on member of the forum !.....PAH !!
I'm going outside to shoot something.
(Preferably not me, with a ricochet.)  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 25 April 2015, 01:43:53 PM
By the sound of things, as long as you're actually aiming at yourself you should be safe enough.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 01:54:56 PM
What about the horror film the Puttymaster
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 April 2015, 02:41:02 PM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 25 April 2015, 01:43:53 PM
By the sound of things, as long as you're actually aiming at yourself you should be safe enough.
Nah !.....That would sting !

Quote from: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 01:54:56 PM
What about the horror film the Puttymaster

X_X

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 April 2015, 08:35:08 PM
Hold on... we're missing something...

Shush, I'm thinking

I SAID SHUSH NOBBY.

Techno said something important...

No, really,

Back in August 2012....

HE SUGGESTED GOING FOR A CURRY!

Did any one book a table, or shall we just turn up mob-handed?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 25 April 2015, 08:43:50 PM
Did he mention a specific date?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 April 2015, 09:21:21 PM
Sounds great!
To quote 'Bad News':
4 pints of lager please , no , 8 pints , no , 16 , no , 32 , no , sod it we're a rock band , make it a 100! oh , and 4 poppadoms!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 April 2015, 09:22:22 PM
That's what Luddite said 2 and a half years ago
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 April 2015, 06:19:10 AM
Hahahahahah......Curry.....Hahahahaha......We could all go in singing "My Samosa"....
You know....That tune....Hahahahaha....Few years back now...."My Sharona".....Hahahahaha...
Why do I remember that one ?.....Didn't even like it....Hahahahaha

Where's everybody gone ?......
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 May 2015, 07:38:13 PM
You can tell it's the first Saturday of half term, loads of corduroy jackets with elbow patches for FSN to munch on (is he related to a moth?). Us Teachers enjoying a few, quiet, civilised pints!
Ohh, and the traditional effigy of the Minister for Education is being burnt in the snug...
Swear box is also full with donations after mentions of SATs, GCSEs and NATIONAL CURRICULUM!
(£3 in from me, oh well)!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 24 May 2015, 12:08:29 AM
I work for the Ministry of Justice.

An article in the Independent said that Gove is more competent than Grayling who he replaces.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 24 May 2015, 12:10:36 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 24 May 2015, 12:08:29 AM
An article in the Independent said that Gove is more competent than Grayling who he replaces.

In the sense that a sheet of cardboard is more bullet resistant than a sheet of paper?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 May 2015, 07:58:50 AM
I must try that ! :D

Haven't injured myself for WEEKS.
(Apart from peeling the TENS machine's pads off my back without switching it off first...... Explain to me why, when the pads are on my back, and I've got it switched up to just one third of its full power, it feels like strong 'pins and needles'.
However..... when my fingers touch the wretched things, it feels like I've got a belt from the mains !)

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 24 May 2015, 08:02:21 AM
More nerve ending in you fingers?

Please don't experiment on other parts of your body.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 May 2015, 08:07:03 AM
I could experiment on somebody else, though !  :D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 24 May 2015, 01:49:34 PM
Quote from: Techno on 24 May 2015, 07:58:50 AM
I must try that ! :D

Haven't injured myself for WEEKS.
(Apart from peeling the TENS machine's pads off my back without switching it off first...... Explain to me why, when the pads are on my back, and I've got it switched up to just one third of its full power, it feels like strong 'pins and needles'.
However..... when my fingers touch the wretched things, it feels like I've got a belt from the mains !)

Cheers - Phil
Took a full power belt from a tens machine while my wife was in labour with no 2. Her comment was "Sorry, thought it wasn't on, I haven't felt it in hours"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 24 May 2015, 08:16:07 PM
My little battery powered version 'bit rather hard' at 30% of its full strength.
Goodness knows what strength 'belt' you got off a proper machine !!!
OUCH !!

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 May 2015, 01:11:20 PM
It's Towel Day!
*lines up the Pangalactic Gargleblasters*
Cheers all!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 25 May 2015, 02:07:15 PM
"The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Who wants a double?   :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 May 2015, 02:39:22 PM
Lilac day.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 May 2015, 03:34:34 PM
Indeed!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 May 2015, 03:47:45 PM
Wassat? Shorry ... hic .... hadacup .... hadacup ... hic .... haddacuppleuv pal ... plan .... panelplastic bargleglasters .... hic .... NOW! .... wass thish about Lillets day!??
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 May 2015, 05:21:04 PM
You haven't even started that one yet FSN!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 26 May 2015, 06:21:36 AM
Quote from: Techno on 24 May 2015, 08:16:07 PM
My little battery powered version 'bit rather hard' at 30% of its full strength.
Goodness knows what strength 'belt' you got off a proper machine !!!
OUCH !!

Cheers - Phil

When my kids were small they used to get Nits from school fairly reguarly (Yuk).  They created merry hell when you tried to use the conditioner and "nit comb" as they had long hair and it took aboput 30 minutes each and was only reasonably sucessful.

So i bought an Electrinic Nit comb that had been designed in Israel. It took a single 1.5 volt battery.It had two metal nit combs slightly offset so that when you caught the nit it shorted out the two combs and the resulting belt killed it.

It was brilliant you combed thier hair for 10 mins twice a week and - no more nits.  and with three girls an hours time saved.

I soon learned that if you were not careful you could give the kids a belt, especially when combing  near thier ears.   Obviously the kids did not like this comb any more than the other one.  BUT  it did have an advantage if they moved they were likely to get a belt so that sat still while you did it.  If they did not the simple threat of "Sit Still or I will electricute you" gave me a statue of a child.

I did get a funny look off the Mum of one of thier freinds when she asked how I got them to sit still and my three year old said " we have to sit still or Daddy will lectricute us".  She did go out and buy one though  :-\

One day out of interest I measured the voltage across the combs - remember its got a Single 1.5 volt battery.  It was 400 volts, Thats not a typo.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 26 May 2015, 12:03:06 PM
"It's the volts what jolts but it's the mills what kills!"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 26 May 2015, 07:46:26 PM
How does it get 400 volts! :o ?

My dad was an Electrical Engineer.  Apparently if you touch a mains cable (say if you are fixing in a domestic plug socket) through electrical insulation tape (that you've wrapped round to keep it safe) you speak scrambled for 10 minutes.

I'll ask him about that nit comb!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 26 May 2015, 07:47:36 PM
[Checks thread title - nips out to get 1.5 volt battery and two bits of wire, and the 'Ladybird Book of CIA enhanced interrogation'.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 26 May 2015, 08:21:25 PM
Why nip out, it's on the lend shelf?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 June 2015, 07:13:38 PM
Anyone seen the ice bucket? Might need it tonight.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 30 June 2015, 07:50:25 PM
Even warm in SW Wales !!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 30 June 2015, 08:44:16 PM
Right, Im ready for the darts tournament.

(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/270/19117884879_b0f7130c92_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/v8oa7P)DSCF0210 (https://flic.kr/p/v8oa7P)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 June 2015, 08:49:47 PM
Oi! We've told you before, only semi-automatic allowed for darts matches.
Techno: put the Bren away too! We're still digging lead out from the last game. Although you can claim
501 in one burst!
X_X :-t :-t
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 June 2015, 10:03:40 PM
No wonder I never win!
(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSLj7Q858mKAFgLfHoQOt3I6JSETenwY-ZL42b0FiiE7RBc7MSxgw)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 01 July 2015, 08:04:51 AM
How you miss the board....Let alone miss treble twenty each time.....Especially as you can reach the damn board with that blowpipe, is beyond me ! :o
(Or haven't you discovered the chewing gum I blocked the pipe with yet ?)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 July 2015, 08:18:01 AM
BLOW-pipe! Well, that explains it. A basic flaw in my technique!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 01 July 2015, 11:18:35 AM
OIK !!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 01 July 2015, 11:55:30 AM
Darts? OK, I'm in!

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/46/f1/5a/46f15a81744209c52a01f7425a61c42e.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 01 July 2015, 12:05:15 PM
Crikey!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 01 July 2015, 12:27:15 PM
OK I found them.


(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81Xx2EZd7eL._SL290_.jpg)



Put  some money in gas powered karaoke machine and breakout the sherbet dips and let's get this place rockin

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 July 2015, 12:41:45 PM
Sherbert! Not near Nik's lager!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 July 2015, 05:13:32 PM
Oh heck, it's so hot the ice bucket is melting!
Even the casting clones are saying it's too warm.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 01 July 2015, 05:41:47 PM
We've got thunder, rumbling around here....So I'm not staying for long.
Just enough for the pics I've just sent the Dark Lord to go. (THIS TIME !)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 July 2015, 06:38:00 PM
Still super hot here!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 July 2015, 06:38:45 PM
And what, Gentlemen of the Forum, do you suppose was the subject of those photos that Techno sent to the Dark Lord?

Perhaps a scenic view of a fine Welsh summer?
(http://wallpoper.com/images/00/24/28/37/rain_00242837.jpg)

The product of his last month's activities?
(http://www.songofthegreatlakes.com/pics/proj/wbtop2.jpg)

Techno's latest bodybuilder shots?
(http://unaccomplishedangler.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/skinny_man.jpg)

Or just another ransom demand?
(http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/198/4/b/girls_play_xbox_too_i_by_nicolexisxmanic-d3yzpfj.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 01 July 2015, 07:47:08 PM
a)......That's just drizzle !Top
b)......(Swoon).....A tidy desk.....(I wish)
c)......Top half's too fat to be me.....Though I think my legs are better than his.
d).......He still hasn't sent me the money.
e)........You're an OIK !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 01 July 2015, 09:05:44 PM
Are they Leon's or Techno's legs?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 July 2015, 09:07:27 PM
From the colour of the toenail polish, I'd say Leon's.

Techno is more of an Angel's Mist man.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 01 July 2015, 09:16:26 PM
Why is the bodybuilder carrying little teapots?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 02 July 2015, 07:33:41 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 01 July 2015, 09:05:44 PM
Are they Leon's or Techno's legs?

Cone ON. X_X
They're obviously not my legs.
There's not a single scar to be seen, anywhere.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 September 2015, 12:25:36 AM
Flings Tawa's rather holy grundies out into the crowd!
Then wipes Nik's glass, with sandpaper...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 16 September 2015, 07:35:05 AM
Oi how bout some service you OIK....pint and two bales of hay for t'u camel.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 September 2015, 07:49:53 AM
You're late this morning!

Camel says easy on the brick.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 16 September 2015, 06:32:58 PM
Doesn't that hurt?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 16 September 2015, 07:29:57 PM
Only when he laughs.
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 17 September 2015, 12:01:21 PM
Quote from: Techno on 16 September 2015, 07:29:57 PM
Only when he laughs.
Cheers - Phil

(http://www.webtvwire.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/only-when-i-laugh-logo.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 17 September 2015, 08:54:32 PM
I Dont Beeeeeeeeeeeeliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve it.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 September 2015, 09:54:43 PM
That's on, on Radio 4 extra at the moment. (No...not this instant !)
Only a handful of episodes, sadly.....But most enjoyable.
Cheers - Victor.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 17 September 2015, 10:06:02 PM
Not just me that used to watch it then?  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 18 September 2015, 07:25:19 AM
I shouldn't have thought so, Tawa.  ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 21 September 2015, 10:18:41 PM
Quote from: Techno on 18 September 2015, 07:25:19 AM
I shouldn't have thought so, Tawa.  ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil


That's a relief  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 November 2015, 06:50:00 PM
Barman!

A pint of bitter.

With a straw. 8)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 November 2015, 06:59:51 PM
Print of straws with angastora bitter was that?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 November 2015, 07:09:36 PM
No. Proper bitter beer.

With a straw.

And a slice of lemon.

No - lime.

Let's be sophisticated!  :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 22 November 2015, 07:58:32 PM
Barman - you know the rules.  FSN is only allowed weak halves of shandy.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 November 2015, 08:23:47 PM
To poor over 'Duckman' when he arrives ?

Cheers - Phil

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 November 2015, 08:49:07 PM
Be like water off a ...
:P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 November 2015, 08:51:21 PM
Okay, half of lemonade shandy top, with a dash of lemonade.

Do we think that's too much sugar for FSN at this time of night?   :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 22 November 2015, 10:06:39 PM
Just plain water then.  Blow down those straws to create the bubbles.  No not those straws, Orcs has been... Nevermind.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 23 November 2015, 12:01:47 AM
 :o :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& ^#(^ :-t :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2015, 08:09:09 AM
Oh I say! Frog balloons! How jolly!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 23 November 2015, 09:33:08 AM
Nobby.

Did you bring that bag of old crusts, so we can leave a nice trail for 'Ducky' ?

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 23 November 2015, 10:39:03 AM
*nom, nom, nom*

Nooooo. I thought you had them.  :D

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 December 2015, 11:24:30 PM
Finally got all the decorations up.
Blood red to separate the blood shed by Techno in his efforts.
Black for the nighttime that the Dark Lord performs his work.
Blue and tasting of Wednesday for FSNs favourite pills.
Green to represent the envy we all feel of each other's paint jobs.

Crewe de menthe anyone?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 17 December 2015, 07:12:13 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 16 December 2015, 11:24:30 PM
Crewe de menthe anyone?

Who should I throw it at ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 17 December 2015, 10:02:29 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 16 December 2015, 11:24:30 PM
Crewe de menthe anyone?

Mint of Crewe?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 December 2015, 10:16:38 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 16 December 2015, 11:24:30 PM

Blood red to separate the blood shed by Techno in his efforts.

Shouldn't that read "In his stupidity."  :-[
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 December 2015, 04:03:47 PM
Well,you said it!
Crewe de menthe, slightly more palatable than Creme de menthe, minty, with a strong aftertaste of diesel! Hold on, that IS Creme de menthe!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 17 December 2015, 04:21:40 PM
Quote from: fsn on 23 November 2015, 08:09:09 AM
Oh I say! Frog balloons! How jolly!

I wonder what noise they'd make if you let go......
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 17 December 2015, 07:44:03 PM
Stop lying about my paint jobs.

Nobody is ever envious of them.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 December 2015, 08:21:11 PM
Oi! You calling me a lyre!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 17 December 2015, 09:21:53 PM
Are you highly strung?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 18 December 2015, 03:25:56 PM
Lets not make a song and dance out of it....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 December 2015, 04:26:04 PM
Don't  harp on about it!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 18 December 2015, 09:10:00 PM
We ought to bring some harmony back to the bar.....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 19 December 2015, 08:00:36 AM
You're not using any hairspray in here !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 December 2015, 09:12:39 AM
But it's very alcoholic, and tastes nice
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 19 December 2015, 03:08:34 PM
Barkeep! Another pint of Covonia please!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 December 2015, 04:07:09 PM
Yuck!
You can have the usual, night nurse with fizzy beechams chaser, in a brandy!

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 19 December 2015, 08:19:06 PM
Fine by me! *glug!*  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 December 2015, 08:42:38 PM
Wow! Not often it goes down in one, including the glass!

By the way, the peanut should be back down to about 1/2c at the moment, and Nik's cinzano tree is nearly empty!
*Throws glitterbomb at Ithorial*
it's on a timer, pass it on!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 December 2015, 09:41:10 PM
Eeek! Eek! Eek! <juggles glitterbomb>

Oi! Westmarcher! Catch this!

<elephant rugby pass>
<elegant rugby pass>
Nope right the first time! <elephant rugby pass>

Lemmey seemed to think it might be a good idea not to hang on to it too long!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 20 December 2015, 07:20:14 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 19 December 2015, 08:42:38 PM
Wow! Not often it goes down in one, including the glass!

S'bestest bit that. I'll have another, and make it a triple!  :D

*watches glitterbomb sail across the room*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 December 2015, 07:33:25 PM
Just check, is that the glitter or nail bomb?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 21 December 2015, 11:58:37 AM
I just licked it, now I've got glitter all over my tongue......  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 21 December 2015, 12:53:23 PM
Don't lie - that's off the pole dancer.

FSN - put your clothes back on.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 21 December 2015, 01:21:26 PM
That was a pole?   
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 21 December 2015, 01:22:37 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 21 December 2015, 01:21:26 PM
That was a pole?   


Nope, Estonian.


Czech please!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 December 2015, 01:44:40 PM
NOBBY !!

Would you be so kind to retrieve a couple of coats, for these 'gentlemen' ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 21 December 2015, 06:18:09 PM
I don't think we can be that picky.

This is the only bar I know that has a chucker-inner
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 December 2015, 06:19:06 PM
Better than a chucker-upper!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 21 December 2015, 06:27:44 PM
I've done maintenance work on a few pubs where you literally had to wipe your feet on the way out.

Least this place isn't that filthy.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 December 2015, 06:36:58 PM
Thanks Roy!
We will work on it! ;)

Who ordered the bailey's, carrot, absinthe and haddock smoothie?
*sldes one across the bar, then removes gas mask*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 December 2015, 09:54:21 PM
Will....... :o

I said "I've been walking 'round the paddock !.......Not put blanking haddock in the drink."
Sheesh !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 December 2015, 10:38:00 PM
Oh!
FSN, do you want a Herring Wallbanger?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 21 December 2015, 10:48:12 PM
*picks baileys and haddock smoothie off the bar*

Nobody want this then?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 22 December 2015, 12:25:30 AM
*sniffs air*

Has FSN been bringing his dirty laundry in again?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 December 2015, 08:35:09 AM
Nah, Tawa took his shoe off after stepping in a bear trap!
Forgot I left that there, now, anyone seen the pit recently?  :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 December 2015, 09:23:20 AM
Umm. Its down here!

Anyone got a ladder?


Lads?  A ladder? Please!


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 22 December 2015, 09:32:41 AM
Sorry FSN,  I am too busy making my way up a ladder on the barmaids stockings  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 22 December 2015, 10:42:17 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 22 December 2015, 08:35:09 AM
Nah, Tawa took his shoe off

You have no idea how accurate that is!  :>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 22 December 2015, 11:27:10 AM
Does this place serve Babycham?  <:-P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 December 2015, 11:28:31 AM
I think there's a crate in the cellar marked "Nobby's".
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 22 December 2015, 12:14:46 PM
Quote from: Techno on 22 December 2015, 11:28:31 AM
I think there's a crate in the cellar marked "Nobby's".

Enjoy!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 December 2015, 04:58:29 PM
Yup, one babyham, sorry, cham coming up, usual 4 pint jug? Olive?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 22 December 2015, 05:24:55 PM
Quote from: Techno on 22 December 2015, 11:28:31 AM
I think there's a crate in the cellar marked "Nobby's".

'ere! You leave my crate alone!

I haven't made the bed!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 19 January 2016, 07:42:12 PM
Beslubbering boil-brained hedge-pigs the lot of you! :D

For suitable retorts, see the resource here :) (http://www.pendrakenforum.co.uk/index.php/topic,13487.0.html)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 January 2016, 08:40:39 PM
None if that language here you thou artless hell-hated lout!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 19 January 2016, 10:21:21 PM
Your mother was a hamster! And your father smelt of elderberries!  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 20 January 2016, 12:59:10 AM
Your father was an elderberry, and your mother smelled of hedgehogs
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 20 January 2016, 10:35:17 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 20 January 2016, 12:59:10 AM
Your father was an elderberry, and your mother smelled of hedgehogs

I say! Most rude!  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 21 January 2016, 01:54:46 AM
Quote from: Techno on 22 December 2015, 11:28:31 AM
I think there's a crate in the cellar marked "Nobby's".

No,it's 'Nobbies'.  We have clones, so we can replace them when they break every 2-3 days.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 21 January 2016, 07:38:15 AM
Why WOULD anyone want to CLONE NOBBY........OUT OUT OUT.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 21 January 2016, 10:57:30 AM
There's a whole warehouse of them under Pendraken HQ so I'm told. Whenever there's an accident and the clone is no longer viable, another is activated and he "wakes up" in the med bay after "recovering".....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 January 2016, 11:55:46 AM
Shhh...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 21 January 2016, 11:56:36 AM
In keeping with the tradition of mis-spelling within the Forum, here is a picture of a warehouse full of clones.

:O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 January 2016, 12:35:58 PM
Hey! There's me!

Quote from: Tawa on 21 January 2016, 10:57:30 AM
There's a whole warehouse of them under Pendraken HQ so I'm told. Whenever there's an accident and the clone is no longer viable, another is activated and he "wakes up" in the med bay after "recovering".....
Is that why I keep dreaming of Raggy Phil?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 21 January 2016, 01:27:50 PM
Oi, you lot, did we come here to drink, or to talk? :Ph

The usual, please.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 January 2016, 01:43:02 PM
What, hyperviolence and half a shandy-top?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 January 2016, 01:49:33 PM
As I've been playing Mott The Hoople, recently.....

"Vi-o-lence.....Vi-o-lence...
It's the only thing that'll, make you see sense."

Pint of Absinthe, please, Will.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 21 January 2016, 03:00:52 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 21 January 2016, 01:43:02 PM
What, hyperviolence and half a shandy-top?

Exactly.

Though last weekend I was a little more adventurous and was hitting the neat gin, slivovitz, Hungarian cherry brandy, French elderflower liqueur, some classy bourbon, rum and coke, kir royale, Jamaican coffee with rum, and a few Coronas to stay hydrated. Along with the hyperviolence.

So half a shandy-top will do for now. Cheers. You're a gent. [Wipes lemonadey froth off top lip.]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 21 January 2016, 04:15:40 PM
Oh and the French ginger liqueur. Can't believe I forgot the French ginger liqueur.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 January 2016, 04:35:28 PM
So glad you didn't misspell that!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 21 January 2016, 11:39:54 PM
Quote from: fsn on 21 January 2016, 12:35:58 PM
Is that why I keep dreaming of Raggy Phil?

No.  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 February 2016, 10:58:12 PM
So barkeep. Have you some Valentine's Day delights? Some cocktails or concoctions to delight the ladies and their lovers? Ah! I see here scrawled on a chalk board a list of tasties to celebrate the day of romance. Well done to your six year old for nearly spelling some of the shorter words right. Oh! You did it yourself. Such ... unique penmanship. Now, what have we here?

"My Bloody Valentine." No doubt some tomato juice based cocktail? No? It's just an Infantry Tank Mk III that Techno's been working on. I see.

"Sweetheart Stout!" Oh I remember that one from a child and ... goodness gracious - what is that? That's your wife! You got engaged at school and she's put a bit of weight on since then. Very kind to offer, but perhaps some other time.

What about "Stolen Kisses"? That sounds sweet. Is that it? That's just a bowl of Hershey's that I'm guessing you haven't paid for. No thank you. That American chocolate tastes like candles.

"Romantic." I'm beginning to doubt if it is wise to ask, but please explain. You had a holiday in Italy, yes, with your lovely wife, and in the capital city there were bedbugs. I think I'll pass.

Ow! What have I just barked my shin on? It's an elongated ship's propeller, propped up here. What's that you call it? "A long hard screw up against the wall." Well that's not very romantic. No - no thank you - please keep those bedbugs away from me. 

Surely you must have something better on offer?




Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 13 February 2016, 11:44:13 PM
I'll have Sex On The Beach, a Slow Comfortable Screw and a Screaming Orgasm ... cocktails? ... might as well have one of those too I suppose. ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 February 2016, 12:16:15 AM
How dare you say my wife is fat!!! How did you know all that about my wife FSN! Who told you about our trip to Rome!!!

*sound or a dozen red roses being used as a cosh*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 14 February 2016, 08:16:08 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 14 February 2016, 12:16:15 AM
*sound or a dozen red roses being used as a cosh*

I'll get the wooden ones from Birkenhead for you then. Pint of meths please bar keep, and feed Nobby to those Labradors.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 February 2016, 08:30:36 AM
Anyone want to help me muck out the gee-gees, this morning ?

(Where's everybody gone ?)   :o :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 14 February 2016, 09:28:21 AM
OK. But can I have a shovel this time?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 February 2016, 11:16:51 AM
Wooden are cool, sure I saw some razor wire ones last year....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 14 February 2016, 12:55:48 PM
Sounds good. I got a splinter once, and it hurt.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 February 2016, 01:36:13 PM
Quote from: fsn on 14 February 2016, 09:28:21 AM
OK. But can I have a shovel this time?

No....But if you're very good, I'll let you use gloves, this time.  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 February 2016, 01:42:26 PM
 :-& :-& :-& ^#(^
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 February 2016, 01:49:00 PM
Wiiiiiiiilll......

It's only chewed grass that's been through an organic tube.  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 February 2016, 01:52:37 PM
You make it sound so...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 14 February 2016, 01:54:02 PM
... revolting?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 February 2016, 03:22:05 PM
No.....It's only really revolting, when......No, I won't go there....It'll put you off your food.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 15 February 2016, 03:22:32 PM
Quote from: Chris Pringle on 21 January 2016, 04:15:40 PM
Oh and the French ginger liqueur. Can't believe I forgot the French ginger liqueur.

Liqueurs.....?

Oh, go on then.......  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 February 2016, 04:33:06 PM
Wow! I'll have to dust that one off then...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 16 February 2016, 05:34:48 PM
Nah, adds to the flavour :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 February 2016, 05:47:56 PM
Here, take it....


We'll take the charge off your tab for that one!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 16 February 2016, 06:12:06 PM
Quick, a large whisky before you get angry.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 17 February 2016, 04:09:49 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 16 February 2016, 05:47:56 PM
Here, take it....


We'll take the charge off your tab for that one!


Thank ye very glad!  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 17 February 2016, 04:43:23 PM
Do you have anything here that will strip enamel paint off lead figures?

In that case, make mine a double.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 February 2016, 06:21:49 PM
Double nitromores it is!
Do you want a sawferga chaser?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 17 February 2016, 08:28:11 PM
Nitromors? Only if it's the original. It's just not the same since they took the dichloromethane out. Ask any CAMRN member.

Now your swarfega, on the other hand ... Obliged, squire.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 17 February 2016, 10:38:40 PM
*Sound of Swarfegar pot skidding down the bar!*

Used to love that stuff when my dad was a mechanic, the smell, the feel, but best of all, if you opened a new pot and hit the side, you could see the ripples move across in bizarre, green, slow-motion!

Who ordered the rat-on-a-stick-wallbanger, with extra anchovy?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 18 February 2016, 10:35:13 AM
I Did, as you know Orcs eat anything.


EUGH!!!!   You hadn't washed your hands, this rat tastes like swarfega !!

Orcs do have some standards you know!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 18 February 2016, 12:19:00 PM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 18 February 2016, 10:35:13 AM
I Did, as you know Orcs eat anything.

Orcs do have some standards you know!!

Very very few though....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 18 February 2016, 12:50:48 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 18 February 2016, 12:19:00 PM
Very very few though....

IanS

True,  but one of them is never to live with in 20 miles of Runcorn !  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 18 February 2016, 03:25:31 PM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 18 February 2016, 12:50:48 PM
True,  but one of them is never to live with in 20 miles of Runcorn !  ;)

I'm pleased to report that they're almost ready to close the bridge. Now all we need to do is blockade the Daresbury expressway.......  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 18 February 2016, 06:24:30 PM
That's too true to be funny.  :(

It now takes me 20 minutes to do the 2 miles to the sorting office. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 18 February 2016, 07:48:22 PM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 18 February 2016, 10:35:13 AM
I Did, as you know Orcs eat anything.


EUGH!!!!   You hadn't washed your hands, this rat tastes like swarfega !!

Orcs do have some standards you know!!

No, no you don't
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 February 2016, 07:44:59 AM
Quote from: fsn on 18 February 2016, 06:24:30 PM
That's too true to be funny.  :(

It now takes me 20 minutes to do the 2 miles to the sorting office. 

ONLY 20 minutes. Has taken me up to 2 hrs to get to the yard I deliver to in Widnes, queue started at the M56.......

IanS  :'( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 19 February 2016, 07:58:04 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 18 February 2016, 07:48:22 PM
No, no you don't

Yes I do! , they may be low but they are standards :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 21 February 2016, 02:02:36 PM
Quote from: fsn on 18 February 2016, 06:24:30 PM
That's too true to be funny.  :(

It now takes me 20 minutes to do the 2 miles to the sorting office. 

I'm guessing you live somewhere near me then  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 27 February 2016, 11:05:55 AM
(https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1699/25274010316_8546fa72ab_z.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 February 2016, 11:23:15 AM
That's the spirit!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 27 February 2016, 11:41:42 AM
Quite down you lot, it's far too loud to read me book in here. Trip Phil up to stop him shooting himself.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 February 2016, 11:59:33 AM
Oh! I read that one. "Who really painted 'Scotland for Ever'?" That's the one where the Butler actually did do it, isn't it? 



I've decided to be fashionable, so I'll have a pint of prosecco please.

No ice, but two umbrellas.

Classy.  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 February 2016, 12:05:04 PM
One white whine sprinter!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 27 February 2016, 12:50:25 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 27 February 2016, 11:41:42 AM
Trip Phil up to stop him shooting himself.

BANG !!.....Whoops ! Sorry, Nobby.....I'll get you a plaster.  :-[

Who left their sodding foot there.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 February 2016, 01:09:12 PM
Is that Ithorial's spare?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 27 February 2016, 01:43:23 PM
Not mine, I'm legless me ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 27 February 2016, 01:50:50 PM
You even missed Nobby. NEVER LET A WELSHMAN LOSE ON HIGH TECH KIT. Throws empty glass in general direction of brawl.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 27 February 2016, 04:09:08 PM
*starts whoopin' an' a hollerin' whilst blasting sixguns into the ceiling*  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 February 2016, 07:46:12 PM
Don't! Techno will get his Bren out again...

Plus I'm not sure the ceiling is entirely safe....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 27 February 2016, 08:02:27 PM
Gawd. Imagine Techno tripping over with a Bren.  X_X
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 27 February 2016, 08:07:05 PM
Check page 2 of this thread, Westie......It shows I can hold a Bren without falling over.
(Though, this IS the before photo !)  :D

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 27 February 2016, 08:09:48 PM
I remember it.   :)


(I still have nightmares)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 27 February 2016, 08:50:28 PM
Quote from: Techno on 27 February 2016, 12:50:25 PM
BANG !!.....Whoops ! Sorry, Nobby.....I'll get you a plaster.  :-[

Who left their sodding foot there.

Try again Phil  PLEASE !!!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 27 February 2016, 09:14:46 PM
What ? ......Shoot Nobby properly ?  :o :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 27 February 2016, 09:52:15 PM
Quote from: Techno on 27 February 2016, 12:50:25 PM
BANG !!.....Whoops ! Sorry, Nobby.....I'll get you a plaster.  :-[

Who left their sodding foot there.

Foot! You've shot off at last three inches!

And a plaster's not going to help.

Can't fix a daffodil with a plaster.

Mum's going to be so disappointed.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 27 February 2016, 10:10:39 PM
Quote from: Techno on 27 February 2016, 09:14:46 PM
What ? ......Shoot Nobby properly ?  :o :o

Yes It might be fun  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 28 February 2016, 07:29:22 AM
You're just trying to see if I get hit by a ricochet, aren't you ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 28 February 2016, 08:10:48 AM
Ric O'Shea, - thought we'd bared him.....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 February 2016, 08:16:54 AM
Only after the peanut incident
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 28 February 2016, 09:11:55 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 28 February 2016, 08:10:48 AM
Ric O'Shea, - thought we'd bared him.....IanS

Nah...Wasn't he a 'DJ' on a space station, in one episode of Thunderbirds  ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 28 February 2016, 10:26:44 AM
I'm not THAT old.....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 28 February 2016, 10:45:44 AM
(http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/2054482/single-tumbleweed-o.gif)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 February 2016, 11:43:03 AM
You found it then FSN?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 28 February 2016, 11:48:01 AM
(http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/jackinthebox/images/2/2f/Tumbleweed.gif/revision/latest?cb=20140411060510)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 28 February 2016, 12:16:30 PM
Why do I keep getting this b plant in my pint. THROW IT OUT.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 February 2016, 12:19:04 PM
Face it Ian, it's the closest to a green vegetable most wargamers get!  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 28 February 2016, 04:06:44 PM
If it's green it's rotten.....

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 28 February 2016, 09:43:43 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 28 February 2016, 08:16:54 AM
Only after the peanut incident

And the fact that the Ping-Pong balls kept disappearing when he bought his Thai girlfriend in. Never did see her play a game so goodness know why she wanted them  :-\
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Fenton on 28 February 2016, 09:51:43 PM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 28 February 2016, 09:43:43 PM
And the fact that the Ping-Pong balls kept disappearing when he bought his Thai girlfriend in. Never did see her play a game so goodness know why she wanted them  :-\

Maybe it was Douglas Bader in disguise
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 February 2016, 10:37:27 PM
So, we've had a run on the creme de menthe, so, what you lot downing next?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 28 February 2016, 10:41:37 PM
I would like a pint of Sambuca to get the taste of the Swarfega out of my mouth

Don't forget to put the coffee beans in it and light it.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 29 February 2016, 12:03:13 AM
Form an orderly queue to set light to Orc's mouth.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 February 2016, 07:22:15 AM
Who wants a go with the flamethrower?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 29 February 2016, 07:27:01 AM
Don't give it to Phil......

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 29 February 2016, 07:29:31 AM
Agreed....I'll probably almost certainly burn the whole place down.  X_X
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 29 February 2016, 01:17:59 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 28 February 2016, 04:06:44 PM
If it's green it's rotten.....

IanS

As I always say; "Don't worry about the smell love, it's probably fine....."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 05 April 2016, 02:29:52 PM
Throws stale Easter egg into the throng!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 05 April 2016, 04:24:42 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 05 April 2016, 02:29:52 PM
Throws stale Easter egg into the throng!

*ducks*  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 05 April 2016, 04:52:45 PM
Despite many pleas we have no ducks because Techno is too busy making unbelievable things!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 April 2016, 07:33:16 PM
I don't believe what I'm making, just at the moment.  ;)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 05 April 2016, 07:39:49 PM
Don't forget the flint blades....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 05 April 2016, 08:18:56 PM
Quote from: Techno on 05 April 2016, 07:33:16 PM
I don't believe what I'm making, just at the moment.  ;)



3 shillings and sixpence an hour?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 05 April 2016, 11:38:33 PM
Quote from: Tawa on 29 February 2016, 01:17:59 PM
As I always say; "Don't worry about the smell love, it's probably fine....."

The less we know about your genitals the better !!   :-&  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 05 April 2016, 11:39:34 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 February 2016, 07:22:15 AM
Who wants a go with the flamethrower?

OI Will, Mind my Eyebrows !!

Give FSN a squirt with it -  He's a Heretic.  He bought T35'S from another manufacturer
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 06 April 2016, 03:00:27 AM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 05 April 2016, 07:39:49 PM
Don't forget the flint blades....

That was posted very late at night. Kind of everyone not to point out that I clearly intended to write obsidian blades.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 06 April 2016, 06:51:03 AM
They're still not in the exceptionally varied mix of figures I'm working through, just at the moment.  :D





Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 06 April 2016, 03:44:01 PM
Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 05 April 2016, 11:38:33 PM
The less we know about your genitals the better !!   :-&  :)


Ever eaten oysters.....?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: DanJ on 06 April 2016, 04:15:35 PM
Only once, a real disappointment.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 06 April 2016, 04:20:22 PM
Never....I wouldn't even want to try.... :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 07 April 2016, 04:55:58 PM
Like swallowing a glob of snot......
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 07 April 2016, 05:33:03 PM
Sorry, didn't realise my cold was that bad!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 12 April 2016, 12:58:04 AM
You know why he's called 'Just a few orcs'

That's who they find are less popular
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 13 April 2016, 07:56:03 PM
List of people barred from a Herne Hill pub.

http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/the-most-incredible-list-of-people-have-been-barred-from-this-pub-in-south-london--ZJQy6aPZbZb
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 13 April 2016, 08:25:39 PM
Sounds like any given boozer!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 13 April 2016, 08:29:23 PM
Many years ago now I worked in a country pub just outside Edinburgh and learned that there is a fine art to barring people when most of your customers are local gamekeepers with who bring shotguns and a pair of dogs each into the snug!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 14 April 2016, 05:57:37 PM
I live the names - Why is he two suits?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 11 June 2016, 05:17:58 PM
(http://www.funniestmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Funniest_Memes_very-true_6891.jpeg)

(http://www.vertigolounge.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Screen-Shot-2014-05-22-at-21.46.06-500x300.png)

(http://rlv.zcache.com/you_look_like_i_need_another_drink_mousepads-r48ab5088b27f45119cd821eea871eaa5_x74vi_8byvr_324.jpg)

(http://cdn1.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/1213/go-home-r2d2-youre-drunk.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 12 June 2016, 11:08:42 AM
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1luv09RJP1qzcxszo1_500.png)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 12 June 2016, 11:10:09 AM
(http://media.giphy.com/media/pZuYfk9t6UASs/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 June 2016, 11:28:55 AM
Ahem, your bar tab still needs paying!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: nikharwood on 12 June 2016, 11:51:02 AM
What - this one?

(http://img.pandawhale.com/post-17590-Expensive-receipt--Biggest-bar-4uhx.jpeg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 12 June 2016, 01:26:38 PM
Yes - I'll take cash or FP bank transfer.

IanS

PS - I assume those are Egyptian pounds ?

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: paulr on 13 June 2016, 01:44:04 AM
Quote from: nikharwood on 12 June 2016, 11:51:02 AM
What - this one?

(http://img.pandawhale.com/post-17590-Expensive-receipt--Biggest-bar-4uhx.jpeg)

2 BUD LIGHT :o :o :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Tawa on 16 June 2016, 05:05:41 PM
Quote from: paulr on 13 June 2016, 01:44:04 AM
2 BUD LIGHT :o :o :-&


Bloody sickos!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 18 June 2016, 10:19:05 AM
Love the way they add on a gratuity, then leave space for you to add on a gratuity.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 October 2016, 10:01:38 AM
Been sat here since June waiting for a pint.

Eaten all the peanuts.

The last few definitely tasted of urine.

Probably should remember to wash my hands.

I remember the glory days when this place was full. Hordes of laughing, chatting gamers - discussing their latest painting, and the research they'd done. That's why I started coming here, and you know, for the first few times it was wonderful. I joined in wholeheartedly, put a few people right on a number of things, and told them all my stories of gaming derring do.

But these things don't seem to last do they? Fewer people came in. It became noticeable just a few weeks after I started coming in. I wonder if it was because they changed the beer - I say beer but it was just that lager stuff. I told 'em straight. "You want to get some proper beer in, mate." I said. Told that Lennie a few times. Funnily enough he seemed quite angry. But he didn't take my advice and you see the result! An empty bar.

Still, there's an atmosphere here. It like gamers' aura has seeped into the walls like red seeps into white however long you leave it to dry.

Wonder where the lads are? Probably at home with their womenfolk. Being told what to do. Not being able to decide what to eat. Having to put their clothes in a laundry hamper. Not for me, matey. Oh no! I'm a free spirit. A Frei Schnapps as the Germans would have it. No ties for me! I come and go as I please. If I want to go to bed late, well there's no-one there to give me the evil eye. Or warm the bed up. Still I've got a hot water bottle. There's no-one to tell me that I've spent too long painting and I'll ruin my eyes. Nobody tells me that I shouldn''t buy that book, then smiles and says "oh go on then". I buy what I want, when I want. Slave to nobody. A free spirit - Libre Cognac the French would call it. Oh yes! It's the life for a real man. No distractions. Able to focus.  

I suppose I should push off. Doesn't look like there's any staff on again. Pity. I was hoping for a hot pie and maybe a packet of salted nuts. Still, I don't need their business if they don't need my custom. I've got some bacon and half a tin of beans. And my pride. Their loss. I'd tell that cross Benny if he was here. Perhaps I could leave a note.  I could write it on the back of this other one I left. Oh! I've already left a note on the back of the note.

Never mind. I'll just go. We can do that, we free spirits - grazi vino - can do that. Can go anywhere - like a bird on the wing, a dolphin in the sea or a customs and excise officer in any premises.  I've got the last of "The Fall" to watch, with that Gillian Anderson.

Living the dream. A free spirit. 

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Matt J on 30 October 2016, 10:14:08 AM
Or it could be its 10am and the bar ain't open  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 October 2016, 01:49:09 PM
Sorry, was rather enjoying breakfast.
Who ordered the peanut? Catch!
(Do you think the accelerated peanut has slowed enough yet)?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 October 2016, 01:50:14 PM
Oh, the idioms are ready, not that you really wanted them... Maybe later?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 October 2016, 04:19:54 PM
I've been trying to catch that peanut for months.

I'd sit here and then zipp! and away it would go. Away before I can react. Nearly had it once, but it seemed to put on a bit of a spurt and it outran me.

Isn't it about time you got more staff? You could get an intern or something couldn't you? I mean, it doesn't take a lot of brains to run a bar does it? Any plank of wood could do it. It's not even as if there's any proper beers to remember - just fizzy lager. Yes any idiot could be a barkeep.

...

I'll let myself out. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 October 2016, 04:24:31 PM
Watch the bear trap FSN.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 October 2016, 04:36:07 PM
Thanks for that warning.

Just timed it right.



Could someone help me get this bear trap off my leg?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 30 October 2016, 08:50:39 PM
Quote from: fsn on 30 October 2016, 04:19:54 PM
Yes any idiot could be a barkeep.

You're right.

I once had a job as a barman.  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 October 2016, 09:09:27 PM
Me too.

I kept bar in North Wales, then when I moved to Sheffield, I volunteered to be a barman at the local Territorial Army event. (I remember a board with lots of officers with VD after their names. Apparently VD meant Voluntary decoration.)

Anyway, I got quite narky with some chap ordering "a glass of beer". Apparently in Yorkshire this meant "a half of bitter".

Never got asked back.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 October 2016, 09:51:27 PM
What, you mean it comes in pints!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 October 2016, 09:53:46 PM
Don't we all?  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 31 October 2016, 07:03:15 AM
Cant drink beer in anything less than a pint glass......Glass of Stella NOW Nobby !

Ian S
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 31 October 2016, 07:13:41 AM
You lot usually drink in gallons!
One gallon of Stella...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 12 March 2017, 01:59:29 PM
It's quiet Sergeant...  Too quiet...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 March 2017, 02:18:48 PM
Doomed...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 March 2017, 02:45:48 PM
Will......Is that really you, under all those cobwebs and dust ?

If it hasn't gone completely flat......A pint of brandy with that hint of fizzy lemonade, if you please.

Put it on Leon's slate......He's not here, so he'll never notice.  :D

Cheers - Phil

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 March 2017, 03:34:38 PM
It will go straight through you Phil! Suppose we can recycle it later?  :P
'Scuse the webs, move the black widow and shift the bear trap before you sit down.  🕷
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 12 March 2017, 03:57:36 PM
Bloomin' marvellous! Been knocking on this door every day for months, and no-one thought to let me out. I just curl up under the billiard table for a nap and the place fills up with ... whatever Techno is.



   
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 12 March 2017, 04:09:59 PM
Quote from: fsn on 12 March 2017, 03:57:36 PM
Bloomin' marvellous! Been knocking on this door every day for months, and no-one thought to let me out. I just curl up under the billiard table for a nap and the place fills up with ... whatever Techno is.


One suspects it's the ambient odder of Wuncorn what is keein uz owt.

IanS
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 March 2017, 04:12:34 PM
It's not ambient, its belligerent!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 12 March 2017, 04:30:41 PM
Well I'll have a pint of whatever it is.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 March 2017, 06:08:24 PM
I think we need to give the place a damn good clean first.

Tonight's special is a bloody Mary Techno.......I've managed to slice one of my fingers, for the first time in months.

Serves me right for the way I was holding the model......and using a spanking new blade..
I'll have to get some more plasters .....Or get the vets to stitch it up. (Biggest dog having a blood test tomorrow)

MRI scan (Me) on Friday.....What a fun week coming up.  :-&

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 12 March 2017, 06:46:55 PM
 :o X_X #-o ;D

[Good luck, Friday]

fsn; you've been locked in the bar all that time and there's still booze left?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 12 March 2017, 07:34:04 PM
Quote from: Westmarcher on 12 March 2017, 06:46:55 PM
fsn; you've been locked in the bar all that time and there's still booze left?
Yup, but not a single pork pie!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 March 2017, 08:21:09 PM
Those weren't pork pies...  :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 March 2017, 08:29:10 PM
Nah.....Those were the bits of me they took out, the last time I went into hospital.

(Mind you....That would have made a very small pie......And WHAT did they use for the pastry ?)  :o

Yik !!..... (And thanks, Westie,  ;))

Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 13 March 2017, 08:04:56 AM
Remember not to ask for Pink Floyd whilst in the scanner !!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 13 March 2017, 08:53:24 AM
Pink Floyd:
1 ounce Amaretto
1 ounce Southern Comfort
1 ounce orange juice
1 ounce pineapple juice
Mix and serve over ice.
All proceeds should go to breast cancer awareness, as it was originally invented to support that noble cause!

There's a reason I'm the barsteward here...  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 13 March 2017, 09:08:32 AM
I suspect that Phil, alechol, blades and 'ospitals do na mix.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 March 2017, 09:17:01 AM
I've done some research on MRI scans. Looks like they're pretty safe.

(https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/health-beauty-magnetic_resonance_imaging-magnetic_resonance_images-mri_scan-scan-x_ray-gmc0139_low.jpg)(https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/computers-mri_scan-x_ray-x_ray-computer_password-brain_power-aban1391_low.jpg)(https://misfit120.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/mri3.png?w=640&h=239)
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KGM_0OCPIDo/TmeUxCOXKQI/AAAAAAAABrI/jx3_ougAkiY/s320/mri5.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 March 2017, 10:00:15 AM
Laying WHOM still, may one ask?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 April 2017, 02:20:19 PM
Large Jagermeister for Mollinary!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 12 April 2017, 03:40:37 PM
I have recently learned that Jagermeister does NOT contain elk blood which begs the question*, "What's the point then"?



*note to Kitty: I am using the more popular albeit strictly improper application of the term. :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 April 2017, 05:55:02 PM
Quote from: fsn on 13 March 2017, 09:17:01 AM
I've done some research on MRI scans. Looks like they're pretty safe.

But far more than rather noisy !

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 13 April 2017, 07:47:50 AM
THink I said this before - don't ask for pink Floyd on the headphones - very weird experience.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 April 2017, 08:10:41 AM
Quote from: d_Guy on 12 April 2017, 03:40:37 PM
I have recently learned that Jagermeister does NOT contain elk blood which begs the question*, "What's the point then"?
I know a place where they provide the Elk, but you have to get your own elk blood for your Jagermeitser.




Sometimes, the elk drinks.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 13 April 2017, 08:37:09 AM
It's not han helk, that's a gnu...
https://g.co/kgs/Ebw8lJ

Oh, looks like reindeer!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 13 April 2017, 08:42:37 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 13 April 2017, 08:37:09 AM
Oh, looks like reindeer!

No Weatherman says its going to sunny in MK  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 April 2017, 10:30:19 AM
Quote from: Orcs on 13 April 2017, 08:42:37 AM
No Weatherman says its going to sunny in MK  :D

Not even one?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 18 April 2017, 08:45:13 PM
Today is tax day in the States. I read a piece this morning which suggested a large portion of the population finds it wonderful since they are getting a refund of part  of their payroll tax contribution (basically earned income we give our government as an interest free loan!). People are excitedly planning what to do with the money the government is "giving" them. It's like a magician that baffles you with what's happening in his right hand while picking your pocket with his left!

Sic transit gloria mundi

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 April 2017, 08:47:10 PM
A bit political DGuy, but yes I understand.
Mines a pint!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 18 April 2017, 10:06:16 PM
Oops! Sorry - thinking this more a universal condition - death, taxes, that sort of thing.  :)

Political would be mentioning that tomorrow (April 19) is a special anniversary for us Yanks!  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 April 2017, 10:50:12 PM
No, I'm lost...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 18 April 2017, 11:03:08 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 13 April 2017, 08:37:09 AM
It's not han helk, that's a gnu...
https://g.co/kgs/Ebw8lJ

Oh, looks like reindeer!

My friend Rudolph is both a good communist and an excellent weather forecaster and he says it looks like rain ... and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear! ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: paulr on 19 April 2017, 12:28:08 AM
Quote from: d_Guy on 18 April 2017, 10:06:16 PM
Oops! Sorry - thinking this more a universal condition - death, taxes, that sort of thing.  :)

Political would be mentioning that tomorrow (April 19) is a special anniversary for us Yanks!  :D
Quote from: mad lemmey on 18 April 2017, 10:50:12 PM
No, I'm lost...

The British are coming, the British are coming...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 19 April 2017, 07:30:13 AM
Quote from: paulr on 19 April 2017, 12:28:08 AM
The British are coming, the British are coming...
Colin Welland at the 1982 Oscars!


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 19 April 2017, 08:35:41 AM
Did we come here to talk, or to drink?

I'll have a shot of that green liquor there. Yep, the one that's etching its way through the glass.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 19 April 2017, 09:24:39 AM
Scramble... good choice, a particularly fine vintage the '56.
A drink well worth laying down, and leaving well alone!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 19 April 2017, 11:44:14 AM
Oh, and a bottle of Pol Roger for that bald bloke over there with the cigar. He's helped me a lot with my Omdurman scenario. I trounced him in our Gallipoli game, but he's unbeatable at Axis & Allies.
http://www.pendrakenforum.co.uk/index.php/topic,15855.msg230941.html#new

PS - don't tell him he's drunk.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 29 June 2017, 01:52:28 PM
Anyone here know how to make a Corpse Reviver?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 29 June 2017, 02:43:47 PM
The drink I suppose, not the electrical thingee?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 29 June 2017, 04:07:49 PM
Ingredients 2 parts cognac, 1 part Calvados, 1 part sweet vermouth (Cinzano).
Stir with ice, strain into a chilled cocktail glass

Or Defibrillator kit...
1 part beer, 1 part vodka, 1 part Canadian whisky, 3 parts orange juice! Serve stirred in a highball glass.  :-&

CLEAR!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fred. on 29 June 2017, 07:34:24 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 29 June 2017, 04:07:49 PM
Or Defibrillator kit...
1 part beer, 1 part vodka, 1 part Canadian whisky, 3 parts orange juice! Serve stirred in a highball glass.  :-&

CLEAR!

Orange Juice and Beer - weirdo!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 29 June 2017, 11:00:35 PM
Quote from: RoyWilliamson on 29 June 2017, 01:52:28 PM
Anyone here know how to make a Corpse Reviver?

FSN prefers not to revive a corpse, as she might say no to what he proposes !  :D :-& :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 June 2017, 07:43:20 AM
Corpse Revivers are the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 30 June 2017, 12:26:25 PM
and pan-galactric-gargle-blasters.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 30 June 2017, 01:50:27 PM
Carful - I have the bricks
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: DFlynSqrl on 30 June 2017, 02:11:10 PM
Quote from: fsn on 30 June 2017, 12:26:25 PM
and pan-galactric-gargle-blasters.

:-bd
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sunjester on 04 July 2017, 08:45:16 AM
I prefer the Corpse Reviver No 2: equal parts gin, lemon juice,  Cointreau, Kina Lillet, and a dash of absinthe (I like a large "dash").

The 1930 Savoy Cocktail Book says "Four of these taken in swift succession will unrevive the corpse again".
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 04 July 2017, 09:22:02 AM
Quote from: sunjester on 04 July 2017, 08:45:16 AM
I prefer the Corpse Reviver No 2: equal parts gin, lemon juice,  Cointreau, Kina Lillet, and a dash of absinthe (I like a large "dash").

The 1930 Savoy Cocktail Book says "Four of these taken in swift succession will unrevive the corpse again".

And probably embalm the body as well.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 06 July 2017, 11:02:42 PM
You can't get Kina Lillet anymore. Closest is a vermouth called (something) Americano
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 07 July 2017, 02:39:48 AM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 06 July 2017, 11:02:42 PM
You can't get Kina Lillet anymore. Closest is a vermouth called (something) Americano

Cocchi Americano. As used in the Vesper Martini, Corpse Reviver #2 and Old Etonian ... and doubtless other cocktails to boot.

Though no longer Kina, Lillet is available (e.g. from here https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B005UXLCRM/007dossier-21), though it's now known as Lillet Blanc to differentiate it from Lillet Rouge which was launched later.

Of course, as a husband who had no qualms about purchasing "feminine hygiene" products for my other half, Lil-let has a whole other connotation!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 07 July 2017, 02:44:57 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 07 July 2017, 02:39:48 AM
Cocchi Americano. As used in the Vesper Martini, Corpse Reviver #2 and Old Etonian ... and doubtless other cocktails to boot.

Though no longer Kina, Lillet is available (e.g. from here https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B005UXLCRM/007dossier-21), though it's now known as Lillet Blanc to differentiate it from Lillet Rouge which was launched later.

Of course, as a husband who had no qualms about purchasing "feminine hygiene" products for my other half, Lil-let has a whole other connotation!

Few things impress a woman more, in my experience, than helping out in that direction, especially on holiday where you remembered to pack a box or two and she forgot.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: ErHo on 07 September 2017, 07:52:29 PM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 07 July 2017, 02:44:57 AM
Few things impress a woman more, in my experience, than helping out in that direction, especially on holiday where you remembered to pack a box or two and she forgot.

If youre buying feminine products, youre already past the stage where you need to impress them!   ;D

If youre buying for someone you hardly know...  youre probably Mayor of the Friendzone!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 07 September 2017, 08:32:53 PM
Quote from: ErHo on 07 September 2017, 07:52:29 PM
If youre buying for someone you hardly know...  youre probably Mayor of the Friendzone!

Or they will regard you as a creepy weirdo and avoid you in the future. :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 08 September 2017, 10:49:20 AM
Quote from: Orcs on 07 September 2017, 08:32:53 PM
Or they will regard you as a creepy weirdo and avoid you in the future. :D

I fear the same when I meet a lass, that's why I don't mention the toy soldiers. Best to wait till after the 'very well, you can fart or use my loo' stage in the relationship to introduce her to the little lead men. Of course, she could then come back with her insane collecting habits and make you want to run for the hills!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 08 September 2017, 10:27:27 PM
Quote from: RoyWilliamson on 08 September 2017, 10:49:20 AM
I fear the same when I meet a lass, that's why I don't mention the toy soldiers. Best to wait till after the 'very well, you can fart or use my loo' stage in the relationship to introduce her to the little lead men. Of course, she could then come back with her insane collecting habits and make you want to run for the hills!

But Roy your ginger - if she is ok with that all your other foibles should pale into insignificance  ;D ;D

Sorry - you walked into that  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 09 September 2017, 01:39:33 PM
Ha! :) In fact I forget I'm ginger, most of the time. I suppose it might come as a bit of a shock to people, when meeting in person for the first time, when they've previously envisioned me as a member of the black/brown/or blonde -haired majority. Though it does make it easier to find me ... I don't need to be wearing a carnation in my breast pocket, or carrying a rolled up newspaper. 'Alright luv. Just look for't ginger amongst crowd, an' yule 'av found me.'

(https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSrlB5lg4IlPxuKHANSqQQoBNW0Q5ZE5R7NkseOKpVGuQzoQfhs0A)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: ErHo on 10 September 2017, 09:29:39 PM
My mom was a ginger(had a soul) but none of us are ready in turn...   it's up to you Roy, breed like there's no tomorrow!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Roy on 11 September 2017, 09:36:46 AM
Unfortunately I'm finding more and more Silver hairs each week ... I'm only 35!  ~X(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 11 September 2017, 10:59:48 AM
Quote from: ErHo on 07 September 2017, 07:52:29 PM
If youre buying feminine products, youre already past the stage where you need to impress them!   ;D


There are benefits in keeping your wife impressed with your gentlemanly behaviour. Even if she likes your caveman side too.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 12 September 2017, 06:17:23 AM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 11 September 2017, 10:59:48 AM
There are benefits in keeping your wife impressed with your gentlemanly behaviour. Even if she likes your caveman side too.

There are definite benefits in not having a wife to impress at all!  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 12 September 2017, 09:43:54 AM
Quote from: Orcs on 12 September 2017, 06:17:23 AM
There are definite benefits in not having a wife to impress at all!  :)

You scratch your itches your way, I'll do it mine....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 September 2017, 10:29:09 AM
Will you lot stop being so nice to each other and get on with the physical violence? =)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 12 September 2017, 12:51:45 PM
Please accept this hand grenade as a token of my esteem.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 September 2017, 01:08:28 PM
Erm... you left the pin in!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 September 2017, 01:36:58 PM
Bet it's got plasters holding it in place.  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 12 September 2017, 01:57:43 PM
No I soldered them in before I sent them over, be irresponsible to give live grenades to Nobby otherwise.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 12 September 2017, 02:51:47 PM
 =O =O
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: O Dinas Powys on 12 September 2017, 06:18:09 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 12 September 2017, 10:29:09 AM
Will you lot stop being so nice to each other and get on with the physical violence? =)

They're just flirting before flinging glasses of lambrini into each other's faces and storming out in a huff!  =((

;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 12 September 2017, 06:20:59 PM
Semprini?  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 12 September 2017, 08:21:49 PM
Nowhere near as good as Keith Emerson or Rick Wakeman.  :D

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: O Dinas Powys on 12 September 2017, 11:18:40 PM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 12 September 2017, 06:20:59 PM
Semprini?  :o

No, lambrini: it's a cheap, low-grade, fizzy wine which is favoured by a young, emotional demographic and is therefore perfect for pouring over the head/chucking in the face of a memeber of the opposite sex at the denouement of a soap opera episode ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 September 2017, 01:42:06 AM
A reference to the great Monty Python on my side.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 13 September 2017, 06:34:28 AM
Yes, I know....I was being silly.  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 September 2017, 06:53:13 AM
Quite agree, quite agree, too silly, too silly.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 September 2017, 07:44:11 AM
Lambrini is that low grade sparkling wine made out of young sheep.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 13 September 2017, 07:48:32 AM
Nobby chew your own coat, then chase that Viking choir out.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 13 September 2017, 09:40:03 AM
Nobby, WILL YOU BE MORE BLOODY CAREFULL WHEN CHEWING COATS - YOU JUST BIT MY FINGER!!!


Anyone got a plaster?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 13 September 2017, 10:14:21 AM
Go away !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: O Dinas Powys on 13 September 2017, 12:32:42 PM
Quote from: fsn on 13 September 2017, 07:44:11 AM
Lambrini is that low grade sparkling wine made out of young sheep.

When I worked at the local Sainsbury's it had the largest shelf-space for any particular alcoholic item, we'd constantly be replenishing it, but I never saw anyone buy any...  :-\

Quote from: FierceKitty on 13 September 2017, 01:42:06 AM
A reference to the great Monty Python on my side.

Grandad, I'm only old enough to remember the good stuff that filtered through to the compilations, not the dreck that was left to history!  :P

Quote from: mad lemmey on 12 September 2017, 10:29:09 AM
Will you lot stop being so nice to each other and get on with the physical violence? =)

Time to shake up a bottle or three, attach them to a stick of dynamite and lob them into the nascent bromance-fest before it gets slushy!  :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 13 September 2017, 12:37:29 PM
Quote from: O Dinas Powys on 13 September 2017, 12:32:42 PM

Grandad, I'm only old enough to remember the good stuff that filtered through to the compilations, not the dreck that was left to history!  :P,



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfU6bmKsoko
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 13 September 2017, 12:44:47 PM
Quote from: O Dinas Powys on 13 September 2017, 12:32:42 PM
When I worked at the local Sainsbury's it had the largest shelf-space for any particular alcoholic item, we'd constantly be replenishing it, but I never saw anyone buy any...  :-

Grandad, I'm only old enough to remember the good stuff that filtered through to the compilations, not the dreck that was left to history!  :P

Time to shake up a bottle or three, attach them to a stick of dynamite and lob them into the nascent bromance-fest before it gets slushy!  :d

"You can buy it or nick it from Woolworths but I doubt if they'll have any in ..."

That one too ancient for you too? <cracks knuckles> You young whipper-snapper! ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 13 September 2017, 01:14:38 PM
BRASSO !!

What do I win ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 13 September 2017, 01:28:58 PM
No Silvo tastes better....so I'm told.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 13 September 2017, 06:35:28 PM
Quote from: Techno on 13 September 2017, 01:14:38 PM
BRASSO !!

What do I win ?

A crepe bandage  ;D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 13 September 2017, 07:15:56 PM
YOU B*RSTEWARD........It was you, was it ?...And I've been blaming Nobby.





Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 13 September 2017, 10:14:15 PM
Oh. So it wasn't me?

How disappointing. I was so looking forward to being unmasked. K
Had my speech ready and everything. "You won't take me alive coppers!"

Can't beat the classics.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 13 September 2017, 11:57:43 PM
Quote from: Techno on 13 September 2017, 07:15:56 PM
YOU B*RSTEWARD........It was you, was it ?...And I've been blaming Nobby.

Wasn't me !

Quote from: Techno on 13 September 2017, 01:14:38 PM
BRASSO !!

What do I win ?


You mentioned bandage in the " Which one of you Oiks ......."  thread. When you asked what you won in this one  I just said you won it to take the pee ! 


Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 September 2017, 06:51:48 AM
I'm still unsure as to who I think is responsible. It can't be some massive coincidence......Can it ?
Like I said.....If another couple of packages turn up in the next couple of days, I'll have more to go on.
(If I get answered by another Amazon autobot.....I'll probably end up with even MORE of the things.) X_X

Cheers - Phil.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 14 September 2017, 07:43:55 AM
Quote from: Techno on 14 September 2017, 06:51:48 AM
Like I said.....If another couple of packages turn up in the next couple of days, I'll have more to go on.

Cue packs of toilet roll arriving chez Techno.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 14 September 2017, 07:55:42 AM
Not a hint lads - but I found a book for 10p on Amazon t'oter day.......


;) ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 14 September 2017, 10:33:49 AM
Come on......Play fair !  :'( :'( :'( :'(

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 14 September 2017, 11:03:24 AM
Quote from: Techno on 14 September 2017, 10:33:49 AM
Come on......Play fair !  :'( :'( :'( :'(



Never 'ave, and I aint startin nowse  :d :d
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 September 2017, 12:21:34 PM
Techno, if you are going to bludgeon Nobby with his answerphone, could you at least unplug it first so we stop hearing that repeated message!

Who ordered the mojito?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 14 September 2017, 09:01:14 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 14 September 2017, 12:21:34 PM
Techno, if you are going to bludgeon Nobby with his answerphone, could you at least unplug it first so we stop hearing that repeated message!

Who ordered the mojito?

It looks like Nobby is enjoying the pain, and unlike Mis Whiplash he is getting it for free
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 14 September 2017, 11:27:05 PM
Window pain?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 15 September 2017, 07:02:38 AM
Coat !!!!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 January 2018, 11:25:07 AM
Wouldn't say you lot hit it hard last night, but hair of the dog does not involve actual dogs!
Or did you just shave Westie  for fun Phil?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 01 January 2018, 11:30:02 AM
Can only get hair of the cat round here !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 01 January 2018, 01:05:01 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 01 January 2018, 11:25:07 AM
Wouldn't say you lot hit it hard last night, but hair of the dog does not involve actual dogs!
Or did you just shave Westie  for fun Phil?

That deserves the return of your coat, once again, Will !  ;)

Cheers - Phil.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 01 April 2018, 11:40:22 AM
Three months since anyone ordered a drink - must be FSNs round
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 April 2018, 11:48:35 AM
Drink anyone? No. OK.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 01 April 2018, 11:52:33 AM
I heard that, MINE IS A PINT
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 April 2018, 12:01:25 PM
Pint of Creme de menthe with toothpaste chaser, as usual Ian?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 01 April 2018, 11:14:19 PM
Best Whisky you have barkeep- Nobby's tab... whats that?  Hold on, extend onto this extra slate I happen to have on me.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 01 April 2018, 11:37:18 PM
Yes that 's right, "Nobby" spelt "T-e-c-h-n-o".

I'll have my usual Irn Bru and mindless despair.

Thank you.

No ice.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 01 April 2018, 11:48:55 PM
TECHNO! Nobby is buying a round, what do you want?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 02 April 2018, 07:30:54 AM
Mallard fizz for me !!  :)

Could have sworn I posted that, last night !....Must have hit the wrong button. (again). :'(

I'll have a packet of flying raisins, too.

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 02 April 2018, 08:07:45 AM
One Mallard Fizz.
(http://www.tehcute.com/pics/201202/a-duck-in-a-glass.jpg)

Just seen a member of staff collecting the flying raisins.  :P
(https://pics.onsizzle.com/its-not-a-ply-its-a-5ky-raisin-flying-food-~havoc-24441875.png)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 02 April 2018, 08:08:24 AM
A mug of Orzorga's Red Frothgar and a couple of Crunchy Spider Skewers for me please :-)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 02 April 2018, 08:31:28 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 02 April 2018, 08:08:24 AM
A mug of Orzorga's Red Frothgar and a couple of Crunchy Spider Skewers for me please :-)

(http://mrdeliverynigeria.ikee.com/img/p/1/1/4/114-large_default.jpg)(https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/spiders-on-skewers-picture-id502794325)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 02 April 2018, 10:02:38 AM
Stop being so conservative with your choices chaps!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 02 April 2018, 11:18:55 AM
I don't really see the need for models of Centurion tanks.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 02 April 2018, 12:07:44 PM
 :o ... but ..
(https://defenceoftherealm.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/centurion-cover.png?w=499&h=233)(http://norfolktankmuseum.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/10620207_10202712788846443_10421482090129069_o-1024x682.jpg)
... and ...
(https://defenceoftherealm.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/centurion-mk1.jpg?w=427&h=234)(https://defenceoftherealm.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/centurion-mk21.jpg?w=404&h=269)(https://skolix216.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/zz10232.jpg)

Found this. Female crew of a Danish Centurion. 
(http://c7.alamy.com/comp/E7BEMG/nato-exercises-in-germany-female-crew-of-a-tank-centurion-of-danish-E7BEMG.jpg)

There is so much to love about this tank!

Excuse me gentlemen. I need to be alone for a little while.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 02 April 2018, 12:42:42 PM
Chieftains are better!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 02 April 2018, 12:55:29 PM
And Challengers even better !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 02 April 2018, 01:57:14 PM
I'm sorry Ian,
I might actually have to agree.
The original WW2 challenger was insane, the Iranian cast off was awesome, and the remodelled Challenger 2 is still incredible.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 May 2018, 08:48:35 PM
Bloke at work used to drive Chieftans. He said they had Leyland bus engines and were always breaking down.

He then did conversion onto Challengers, which had Roll Royce engines which they were expressly forbidden to touch
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 May 2018, 09:13:23 PM
Off to France tomorrow, so, Allen Les Bleu!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 May 2018, 11:52:15 PM
... or possibly "Allez les Bleus!" :)

(http://cheznectarine.c.h.pic.centerblog.net/o/89fbb6ee.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 26 May 2018, 07:55:01 AM
Blòødy phönê
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 May 2018, 09:52:55 AM
Will, your email yesterday took a little bit of translating !

Have a great time, Matey.
I'll have a question re the 'ancients' when you get back.  :D

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 27 May 2018, 06:58:16 PM
Ask away, I have comms
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 28 May 2018, 06:47:38 AM
Thanks Will.

I'll take a piccy of an old figure and send that with the question.
It's basically "What's this bit, then."  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: sunjester on 28 May 2018, 07:04:59 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 25 May 2018, 09:13:23 PM
Off to France tomorrow, so, Allen Les Bleu!

Where are you going Will? I'm off to Normandy a week today.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 28 May 2018, 08:52:14 AM
Quote from: sunjester on 28 May 2018, 07:04:59 AM
Where are you going Will? I'm off to Normandy a week today.

Only if you set the alarm !!  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 28 May 2018, 06:28:44 PM
I'm on the Marne about 45km se of Paris
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 30 May 2018, 11:05:15 AM
....Stay cos your bored at work!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 30 May 2018, 11:28:44 AM
Very tempted! I could do battlefield tours, honest!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 August 2018, 09:08:03 PM
*Puts pillow under Westie's head, gently removes lint (empty) from his hand and pits something soothing on the jukebox (Ranmsetein's Greatest Hits)!*
Shhhhhhhh, he's exhausted
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 04 August 2018, 09:29:46 PM
 ;D ;D ;D

Starting to wake up now - somewhat incongruously, with the help of some nicely chilled Chardonnay! ;)  ]
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 August 2018, 06:38:28 PM
Where is everyone, its been quiet fir days!
No sexism, no insults, no grammar corrections!
The peanuts are almost sterile...
I've even got pernod and creme d'menthe still in the bottles and not smashed over someone's head!
Not even a thread hijacking to moan about...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 15 August 2018, 08:57:21 PM
I've been grounded for two weeks.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 August 2018, 09:20:55 PM
Why, what did you do?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 August 2018, 09:26:14 PM
Quote from: d_Guy on 15 August 2018, 08:57:21 PM
I've been grounded for two weeks.
A sensible precaution when there may be lightning about. 
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 August 2018, 09:40:59 PM
I had a deep thought today.

Why is it that women, right?, y'know women. Women, right? Women, can wear anything... absolutely anything that men can wear. Right? Anything. Suit - yes, football kit - yup, just a plain white man's shirt - most definitely (especially with socks), even, right?  Even pyjamas. S'amazing! Anything a man can wear a woman can wear and look good. Anything. Prove me wrong.

(https://i.pinimg.com/236x/59/cd/e6/59cde69f79b21418ad6d8e814dd7603f--men-shirts-photoshoot.jpg)
See! Just a white shirt. Gorgeous.

But. BUT. BUT ... it's not the same the other way round, right? Men. Blokes. Men ... like me and d_Guy and ... and ... Leon ... well, Dave, well maybe not exactly, but you get the idea, right? So Men, right, can't wear women's stuff and look good? Sean Connery. Sean-bloody-Connery. Mr Scotland, James-Bloody-Bond, so manly that three women got pregnant just shaking his ... hand. What about him?  Even he can't wear a wedding dress and look good.

(https://c1.staticflickr.com/8/7041/6889388873_59f536af19_z.jpg)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 15 August 2018, 09:46:12 PM
For clarity though. Nobody can wear sandals and socks.

No-one.

Not even Anne Hathaway.

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4f/f6/90/4ff6908977a8c8123286dea017dc316f.jpg)
See. No socks. (There are a disturbing number of photographs of Anne Hathaway's feet.)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 16 August 2018, 06:04:35 AM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 15 August 2018, 06:38:28 PM
Where is everyone, its been quiet fir days!
No sexism, no insults, no grammar corrections!
The peanuts are almost sterile...
I've even got pernod and creme d'menthe still in the bottles and not smashed over someone's head!
Not even a thread hijacking to moan about...

Who wants to correct Will's spelling ?

I wasn't about yesterday afto'...'cos I was trying to get a poorly sheep into a wheelbarrow.....(And failing 'cos Von wasn't there to help)
Gave up, and waited for Von to get home from the Pembrokeshire show !

Then had a panic, when I saw on the news that a horse had injured a number of folk at the show, when it bolted from the showjumping ring. (And where exactly would I expect Von and her friend to be ?)

Phoned around (Police, hospital, Von's friend's husband)...to see if I could glean anything ?
Was somewhat relieved when she got home, while I was out in the field trying to move the sheep for the umpteenth time...and getting rather wet.

In the end, the pair of us managed to move the sheep into the big barn, where it seemed to perk up.

Didn't get a stroke of work done in the afternoon.....And I'd been hoping to finish (Or all but finish) the range I'm working on for Leon, at the mo'......Hey Ho !
Good grief.....I could have done with a pint of creme d'menthe last night !

Cheers - Phil......Who's got aches all over the place, this morning ! (And I'd better go outside and see if the sheep's survived overnight !)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 16 August 2018, 07:40:08 AM
Quote from: Techno on 16 August 2018, 06:04:35 AM
Who wants to correct Will's spelling ?

"Where is everyone, its been quiet fur days!
No sexism, no insults, no grammer corrections!
The peanuts is almost sterile*...
I've even got pernod and creme d'menthe** still in the bottles and not smashed over someone's head!
Not even a thread hijacking to moan about***..."

* No, they're just taking precautions
** No you don't. The last bottle of creme de menthe was humanely destroyed in 2002.
*** You will fly this thread to Cuba Libre! ... no ... it's not a gun in my pocket ... I am just pleased to see you.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 16 August 2018, 07:46:18 AM
Quote from: Techno on 16 August 2018, 06:04:35 AM
Who wants to correct Will's spelling ?

I wasn't about yesterday afto'...'cos I was trying to get a poorly sheep into a wheelbarrow.....(And failing 'cos Von wasn't there to help)
Gave up, and waited for Von to get home from the Pembrokeshire show !

Then had a panic, when I saw on the news that a horse had injured a number of folk at the show, when it bolted from the showjumping ring. (And where exactly would I expect Von and her friend to be ?)

Phoned around (Police, hospital, Von's friend's husband)...to see if I could glean anything ?
Was somewhat relieved when she got home, while I was out in the field trying to move the sheep for the umpteenth time...and getting rather wet.

In the end, the pair of us managed to move the sheep into the big barn, where it seemed to perk up.

Didn't get a stroke of work done in the afternoon.....And I'd been hoping to finish (Or all but finish) the range I'm working on for Leon, at the mo'......Hey Ho !
Good grief.....I could have done with a pint of creme d'menthe last night !

Cheers - Phil......Who's got aches all over the place, this morning ! (And I'd better go outside and see if the sheep's survived overnight !)

Reported you to RSPCA, and what range were dat ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 August 2018, 09:07:13 AM
Blue Bols and lemonade then Techno! Sounds like one hell of a day. Hugs.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 16 August 2018, 09:57:23 AM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 16 August 2018, 07:46:18 AM
Reported you to RSPCA, and what range were dat ?

They won't come here, Ian...They'll go next door, to the so called animal 'sanctuary'......She's always being reported to the RSPCA !

Quote from: mad lemmey on 16 August 2018, 09:07:13 AM
Blue Bols and lemonade then Techno! Sounds like one hell of a day. Hugs.

Thanks, Will.....She didn't make it. (Mind you, she was at least as twice as old as 'normal' sheep gets to be.)

She was as stiff as a board when I went out to check.
Knacker-man has been phoned, to come and collect, before she gets too ripe ! X_X.....YIKKK !

Cheers - Farmer Giles. (Get orf moi land !)

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 August 2018, 02:22:39 PM
Bar Menu is in

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dlb6uNpWwAAzOuW.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 25 August 2018, 04:06:13 PM
Sam and Ella extra ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 August 2018, 06:21:59 PM
I like your new board as well:
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/funny-bar-signs-2.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 August 2018, 09:49:21 PM
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/97/20/61/9720618542fb4833808991d0f28873a2.jpg)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 August 2018, 08:12:40 AM
I like that !! ;D

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 27 August 2018, 10:58:17 PM
Hamsters are the nickname adopted by Mark Hamill fans on twitter. Maybe 1 Star wars fan bought too many?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 September 2018, 01:16:43 PM
Oh good. Got here before Techno.

Barkeep! I'll have a double-death zombie killer and make it ... please.

What's a double-death zombie killer? have you not been trained as a barrista?

Right: a zombie is rum, rum, rum, pineapple juice, and lime juice. A zombie killer takes out the yucky bits - i.e the pineapple juice and replaces it with lemonade ... oh and the rum is yucky too.

A death zombie killer adds a bit of danger with an ice cube ... and a double death zombie killer is ...

Yes, two ice cubes. How perceptive of you.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 September 2018, 01:26:25 PM
Wotcha, Nobby.......Get 'em lined up...I'll be back in a minute (whenever).....Just gotta go and play on the barn roof, to clean out the gutters. =)

(I may be some time)

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 September 2018, 04:24:59 PM
Cleaning out the gutters?

Pint of gutter gunk for my friend, please.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 September 2018, 05:02:41 PM
I'm down......and safe !

Though I got saddled with yet another job, which involved mole grips......WD 40, plastic gutters , 30 feet up in the air.....and a HUGE amount of bad language.....But, it's done and I didn't fall off the roof.

I'm way too old for this 'poop'.

Cheers - Kn*ckered of Wales. ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 September 2018, 05:42:54 PM
Techno descends to Von

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 25 September 2018, 06:18:27 PM
He's got nothing on me. ;)

I wish I had a proper build for a bloke....Then I might be able to be at the top of a ladder...and undo 'things' that need undoing. (Rather than swearing at the Universe.....I DID win in the end, though. )

Cheers - Mr I'm going to have a really hot bath tonight, to ease Mr Back. ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 September 2018, 06:24:19 PM
Rum all round then...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Womble67 on 26 September 2018, 11:22:36 AM
The last time I went up a set of ladders the bloody things broke thankfully I never hurt myself since then I've been wary of ladders.

Take care

Andy
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 September 2018, 12:09:35 PM
I don't mind going UP the ladder......I don't mind getting onto the big barn's roof...(It's 'only'  about 20 feet up....But that's enough to do a lot of damage if I fell off.) And I don't mind walking along the very edge of the roof.

What gets me 'jittery' is getting my feet on the top few rungs of the ladder, when I'm coming down....'Cos I can't see exactly what I'm doing.

While I was up on the roof, yesterday....happy as anything....and having told Von I was perfectly safe......."Go and get on with the gee-gees, Von, I'm fine".....A gust of wind took the ladder crashing down....She thought I'd fallen off the roof. :o

Cheers - Phil

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 26 September 2018, 12:19:53 PM
Oi you lot, careful with bringing all those ladders into the bar - too late, there goes my pint.

I wouldn't mind so much only it was a pint of absinthe, and it's bloody hard to get the real thing round here.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 26 September 2018, 06:34:28 PM
Listen, stop arguing about the rules, you go UP ladders, DOWN snakes!

No Westie, you can't put a real diamondback on the board again...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 26 September 2018, 07:16:12 PM
Do you want me to see if I can find that young adder, I let loose a while ago ?

(I hope it's 'done well'.)

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 26 September 2018, 09:05:44 PM
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSJOAG0HMy2P98hTCr9Zcsnbxxg70sOY84jzYI_Vz7e4LUhxIMN)
Yes ...  *snurk* ... quite well ...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 27 September 2018, 03:59:33 AM
Snake Bites all round, barman!  <:-P

Quote from: Techno on 26 September 2018, 12:09:35 PM

While I was up on the roof, yesterday....happy as anything....and having told Von I was perfectly safe......."Go and get on with the gee-gees, Von, I'm fine".....A gust of wind took the ladder crashing down....She thought I'd fallen off the roof. :o


X_X  X_X

If a stray Ostrich ever wanders into the farm, Phil, be extra careful ....


Has anyone else noticed that ever since poor Rod Hull "fell off his roof," Emu's been keeping a low profile? Just saying ...

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 October 2018, 09:34:33 PM
These free crisps are stale.


They are crisps.



Aren't they?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 20 October 2018, 10:57:57 PM
Not sure, the eczema has been troubling me of late...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 20 October 2018, 11:00:12 PM
That is disgusting.


Cheese and onion.  :-&
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 21 October 2018, 08:16:41 AM
The Peanuts on the bas also are not very salty - have you been sucking them and putting them back Nobby?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 October 2018, 08:40:25 AM
No! But look ... if I put one in here ... then *uugh* ... it pops out ... *Snurk* ... here!  :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 21 October 2018, 09:08:56 AM
Talking of crisps.

The local 'mini supermarket'.....Had some new different flavours, on offer recently.....Really spicy....They were awesome......But I've not seen them since the promotion finished.
I wish 'they'd' doing that sort of thing.

(New flavours that you really think are brill....Then you never see them again ! >:( >:( >:()

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 21 October 2018, 05:49:22 PM
Has the speed of light peanut landed yet?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 21 October 2018, 06:03:22 PM
Quote from: Techno on 21 October 2018, 09:08:56 AM

<snip>

(New flavours that you really think are brill....Then you never see them again ! >:( >:( >:()

Cheers - Phil

Phil, I've joked to several supermarket managers that the company should hire me as a food tester because if I realy, really like a product it isn't going to last as much as a month on the shelves :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 21 October 2018, 06:44:29 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 21 October 2018, 05:49:22 PM
Has the speed of light peanut landed yet?
I think it was last seen in the Large Hadron Collider.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 22 October 2018, 08:06:39 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 21 October 2018, 06:03:22 PM
Phil, I've joked to several supermarket managers that the company should hire me as a food tester because if I really, really like a product it isn't going to last as much as a month on the shelves :)

What gets me, Mike.....Is that they do a 'promotion' for some new flavour/combination of flavours..........and then you never ever see them again.
What's the point in promoting something new, if it never sees the shelves, ever again ?

A bit like Curry flavoured twiglets. (I know I've gone on about those before....But I LOVED them.)

Cheers - Phil
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 22 October 2018, 09:52:51 AM
Same experience here. Any really good soft drink I encounter is living on borrowed time.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 24 October 2018, 11:10:45 PM
Quote from: fsn on 21 October 2018, 06:44:29 PM
I think it was last seen in the Large Hadron Collider.



I've never found out. Is it a large collider, or does it collide large hadrons?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 25 October 2018, 01:17:06 AM
A large collider of incredibly small hadrons
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 October 2018, 07:50:37 AM
Actually, when I said "large Hadron Colldier" I was referring to Orcs' drink.

Essentially a "Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster", but with cucumber instead of lemon.

... and now a hyper-velocity peanut.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 25 October 2018, 08:17:41 AM
It's best stirred, gently, with a 10' pole. Shaking can be... Interesting!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 25 October 2018, 10:20:27 AM
Quote from: fsn on 25 October 2018, 07:50:37 AM
Actually, when I said "large Hadron Collider" I was referring to Orcs' drink.

... and now a hyper-velocity peanut.

That Hadron ... he was a wall nut.

In fact, it is believed that the term, "Hadron Collider" may come from Roman times. One school of thought is this is the nickname marauding Picts gave to the Wall when they tried to invade Roman Britain. Another is that Hadron's Caledonian boyfriend came from the River Clyde area.   :-B
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 25 October 2018, 12:51:10 PM
Sir's outer covering, which I believe Sir likes to refer to as a "coat", has been offered to an animal sanctuary for the benfit of distressed mules.

The animal sanctuary rejected it, saying it was fit only for an ass, so Sir can find it mopping up a puddle.

Through the front door, to Sir's left.

Good day.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 25 October 2018, 01:20:19 PM
Quote from: fsn on 25 October 2018, 07:50:37 AM
Actually, when I said "large Hadron Colldier" I was referring to Orcs' drink.

Essentially a "Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster", but with cucumber instead of lemon.

... and now a hyper-velocity peanut.

Quote from: mad lemmey on 25 October 2018, 08:17:41 AM
It's best stirred, gently, with a 10' pole. Shaking can be... Interesting!

Yes If I drink one or two and jump up and down My vomit comes out Purple,  as do the carrots
Quote from: fsn on 25 October 2018, 12:51:10 PM

The animal sanctuary rejected it, saying it was fit only for an ass, so Sir can find it mopping up a puddle.

Through the front door, to Sir's left.

Good day.

That's just where I disposed of my last 2  Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters.   :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 25 October 2018, 11:40:26 PM
*thumps Orcs*
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 05 March 2019, 01:53:59 PM
OI! where's my drink I ordered it hours ago!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 March 2019, 01:59:33 PM
HOURS ??

If you think it was hours ago...I don't think Will should serve you.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 05 March 2019, 05:07:49 PM
You haven't finished your last two...
And the cinzano and lemonade Ithorial bought you, in 2013.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 11 March 2019, 12:06:50 AM
My manservant just told me that I'd drank all the absinthe.

I don't have a manservant so I suspect he was telling the truth.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 11 March 2019, 12:13:21 AM
Can we have the bottle back then, or are you going to empty it before you smash it over his head again?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 11 March 2019, 01:19:21 AM
Ladles and Jellyspoons, steamed memoirs of the forum all, I stand upon this speech to make a platform.

I rebuke the charge that I am as nissed as a pewt! I am in fact as jober as a sudge, indeed more sober than some judges of my quaintness!

If you are having half as much fun here as I am then I ... err ... um .... where was I? Ha yes, if you are having half as much fun as I am then I am having ... err ... twice as much fun as you are!

As a token of my infection I have left a little something behind the bar .... but I will clean it up later. Sorry.

Praps I shoont 'uve drank all the dregs an' leftovers. Hic!

<passes out>
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 11 March 2019, 06:43:23 AM
Nice to see Ithorial is cutting down...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 11 March 2019, 07:44:35 AM
I thought he was on the wagon.
Someone nip outside and see if the horses can be stopped.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 03 April 2019, 06:18:58 PM
Sitting waiting here for Techno to buy a round to celebrate him becoming a Count.

Think I'll have an "Old Fashioned" while I'm waiting.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 April 2019, 06:27:27 PM
The money's behind the bar.

(Unless Nobby's eaten it.)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 03 April 2019, 07:17:29 PM
Techno is a very old fashioned count!

6d, a denarii and a half eaten chocolate coin? Techno, you spoil us...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 03 April 2019, 08:35:34 PM
Half eaten ?

Nobby's eaten all the rest, then. =)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 04 April 2019, 08:38:10 AM
Must get roiund to making the sign - Dont feed the Dog or Nobby !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 04 April 2019, 11:51:39 AM
Hey! Why can't we feed the dog?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 04 April 2019, 12:22:00 PM
Chocolate is bad for him....
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: FierceKitty on 04 April 2019, 12:38:50 PM
If anyone here finds himself in Paris, don't miss going to the Foucher chocolate shop. The Louvre and the rest are OK, but these chox are the real thing. http://www.chocolat-foucher.com/
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 04 April 2019, 12:51:57 PM
Who ever said there's no foucher in chocolate?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 April 2019, 01:06:08 PM
Quote from: ianrs54 on 04 April 2019, 12:22:00 PM
Chocolate is bad for him....

Very true !

Quote from: Westmarcher on 04 April 2019, 12:51:57 PM
Who ever said there's no foucher in chocolate?

Language, Davy !!  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Westmarcher on 04 April 2019, 02:04:05 PM
Quote from: Techno on 04 April 2019, 01:06:08 PM
Language, Davy !!  ;)

:o Tut, tut! Shockarooney!

..... you know, sometimes I fear for the foucher foocher future of the older generation ...  =)

:P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 April 2019, 02:36:12 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Cheers - Phil  ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 04 April 2019, 04:45:52 PM
Quote from: mad lemmey on 03 April 2019, 07:17:29 PM
Techno is a very old fashioned count!

6d, a denarii and a half eaten chocolate coin? Techno, you spoil us...

That Denarii was what Dave paid him for doing the all Elizabethan Range masters. Dave offered to pay in Sterling, but Techno said "I'm not having any of that new fangled, pounds, shillings an pence.  Haven't you got any Groats"
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 04 April 2019, 09:23:53 PM
I've got some so called 'groats'.....Somehere. :-\

Though I think it's far more likely they're old 4d pieces from broken Maunday Monday sets.....Why did folk ever break those sets up ? 8-}

If I can find it, I'll leave the Victorian 1 1/2 d piece, as a tip for the bar staff. :P

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 04 April 2019, 10:30:34 PM
The day gets better and better!  :P
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 04 April 2019, 11:52:27 PM
I had a touch of groat in me big toe once.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 April 2019, 07:27:31 AM
The Mother In Law had groat from drinking too much orange juice.  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 05 April 2019, 07:59:07 AM
I got a bad foot when I was at the top of Snowdon.

It was a mountain groat.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 April 2019, 09:43:07 AM
See what you've started now, Bill ?  X_X

Cheers - Phil  :)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Orcs on 05 April 2019, 10:50:56 AM
Quote from: fsn on 05 April 2019, 07:59:07 AM
I got a bad foot when I was at the top of Snowdon.

It was a mountain groat.

Weren't you married to a woman who was a bity of an old groat ?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 05 April 2019, 11:47:15 AM
Tune down the Groat jokes - Phil might find em offensive  :'( :'(
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 April 2019, 02:27:01 PM
I thought we were heading towards animal puns, after Nobby's 'mountain groat'. X_X

Cheers - Phil.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 05 April 2019, 02:51:38 PM
No gnus is good gnus, Phil ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 05 April 2019, 04:03:24 PM
I pause for a serious question:
If "greet" were an irregular verb would it conjugate as, "greet", "groat", "grout"?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 05 April 2019, 04:34:55 PM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 05 April 2019, 02:51:38 PM
No gnus is good gnus, Phil ;)

Deer me.

Just stop badgering me, otterwise I'll frog march you to Nobby's house, so he can chew your coatl....:D

(I should NOT have posted this !) X_X
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 05 April 2019, 04:39:26 PM
Quote from: d_Guy on 05 April 2019, 04:03:24 PM
I pause for a serious question:
If "greet" were an irregular verb would it conjugate as, "greet", "groat", "grout"?


I greet
I was greeting
I will greet

Ally bally, ally bally bee,
Sittin' on yer mammy's knee,
Greetin' fur a wee bawbee,
Tae buy some Coulter's candy.

Ach, it gars me greet.

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 05 April 2019, 05:06:29 PM
Quote from: Techno on 05 April 2019, 04:34:55 PM
Deer me.

Just stop badgering me, otterwise I'll frog march you to Nobby's house, so he can chew your coatl....:D

(I should NOT have posted this !) X_X

Dognabbit, I was just horsing around. Didn't mean to get your goat. I do rabbit on sometimes (who said "only sometimes?"). Sorry if I'm hogging the thread and being shellfish but there's no need to be crabby! Must fly! I'll chew ,y owwn coatl, thank you!

:D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 05 April 2019, 05:44:28 PM
I know that tune. :) If greet were irregular, however, it would be:
"Once Ithorial had grout the gnu, he done ate it."
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 15 September 2019, 11:45:12 PM
Quiet in here, isn't it.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 16 September 2019, 07:15:42 AM
Too quiet  :-SS :-SS......And look at all the dust on the bar.

Can you hear something slithering down in the cellar ?

Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 16 September 2019, 06:05:08 PM
Oh, that's where we left FSN
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 16 September 2019, 06:37:22 PM
Wait, FSN is House Slytherin?  :o
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: fsn on 16 September 2019, 07:33:40 PM
Better believe it Muggle!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 16 September 2019, 11:24:15 PM
Muggle?! I'm an American by G'd! (Or North American, or Middle North American, or what ever other Leftist geolexicon is currently in vogue - G'd bless'em)

(Throws tattered riding coat on a table covered in craft-knife cuts and Humbrol tins, hitches up gun belt - a double rig - and shuffles toward the bar.)

A round of IC lite for all here!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 17 September 2019, 12:41:03 AM
Leftist?

You're a yank.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: d_Guy on 17 September 2019, 12:54:06 AM
I occasionally Jerk but hardly ever Yank.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Techno on 17 September 2019, 07:33:29 AM
Another coat for Nobby to chew, methinks !
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 17 September 2019, 08:33:23 AM
OI Quiet down, Ise try ta sleep over 'ere. And pour me another pint, this un is flat.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 17 September 2019, 09:33:20 AM
Limoncello and soda, please.
What, run out again?
How about a Cynar then.
Nor that neither?
What kind of establishment do you call this where a chap can't get a tot of his favourite rancid artichoke beverage?
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 18 September 2019, 06:06:25 PM
Not run out, we are just waiting for the next crop to go rancid.
Amarula instead.

Oh, and Ian, the reason your pint is flat is it's the same one you've been nursing for 5 years, and Bailey's is meant to be flat!
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Last Hussar on 15 December 2019, 10:53:18 AM
Right, I've looked in the till. We have 27 and a half pence. All in half pences, 3 Zloties, and a 25mm base with "£3" written on it.

I'm going to need all of you to clear your tabs.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 15 December 2019, 10:57:50 AM
Oh I don't do tabs, if you can't snort it up your nose I don't touch it.
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Ithoriel on 15 December 2019, 10:58:18 AM
Quote from: Ithoriel on 15 December 2019, 10:57:50 AM
Oh I don't do tabs, if you can't snort it up your nose I don't touch it.

Snuff, that's the stuff ;)
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 15 December 2019, 11:56:54 AM
Well I do about 10 tabs a day ! Another pint of Creme De Monte over hear barkeep
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 15 December 2019, 12:50:08 PM
Okay, but this time lay off the meths chaser...
Title: Re: Forum barfight
Post by: Chris Pringle on 15 December 2019, 01:16:44 PM
Quote from: Last Hussar on 15 December 2019, 10:53:18 AM
Right, I've looked in the till. We have 27 and a half pence. All in half pences, 3 Zloties, and a 25mm base with "£3" written on it.
I'm going to need all of you to clear your tabs.

That IOU's definitely not mine. That's nothing like my handwriting. More like someone deliberately scribbling wrong-handed while impaired by alcohol ... ah.

I suppose the three shots of Unicum gave me away.

If I wasn't in a fit state to give cons