Things You Would Never Know Without the Movie Industry

[capthugeca]

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people—whether they're employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
4. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts—your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
5. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
6. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
7. Most dogs are immortal.
8. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
9. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
10. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

Anyone know any others?

[Leman]

Despite having shot and badly wounded the villain you have a strong sense that they should go on trial rather than be finished off, thus allowing them to escape and perpetrate further mayhem.

[fsn]

• A man armed with a pistol is quite capable of taking out a team of SWAT/Assassins/gangsters wearing body armour and carrying automatic weapons.
• Pretty girls prefer ugly poor men with a sense of humour to good looking rich men.
• A flare pistol is an accurate weapon.
• You can conduct significant car chases through many cities in the world without the police apparently noticing.

[FierceKitty]

A woman surprised in the bedroom under any circumstances will use a hand that could be employed waking a partner, pushing an alarm switch, or reaching for a weapon to hold a sheet in front of her breasts.

Despite the fact that next to nothing of global importance has ever happened in the US, that's where aliens will land.

Any personal problem in one's life can be solved in five minutes in a heart-to-heart talk with one's mother on a garden swing chair.

Any important black woman not in a comic role has a skin shade reminiscent of very milky coffee.

Any black man will either spend his life on the edge of a manic episode, or staring at the camera with an expression of eternal victimhood.

Nobody at an American university ever opens a book (admittedly, there is evidence to support this).

[petercooman]

• Pretty girls prefer ugly poor men with a sense of humour to good looking rich men.

By god there is hope for us!!!!!!!!

[Techno]

• A man armed with a pistol is quite capable of taking out a team of SWAT/Assassins/gangsters wearing body armour and carrying automatic weapons.

To expand on that point......

Six or more bad guys armed with automatic weapons couldn't hit the proverbial barn door, let alone the hero.
Cheers - Phil

[petercooman]

To expand on that point......

Six or more bad guys armed with automatic weapons couldn't hit the proverbial barn door, let alone the hero.
Cheers - Phil

I think, because criminal associations are pretty illegal, they don't have a health plan/ periodic checkups. All those goons probably have bad eyes, shaky hands and all that, and nobody to check them out! 

[Subedai]

The never-emptying magazine on any kind of weapon...until it becomes time for a dramatic change in the fight.

Only in films will you ever find the 'L' shaped bed sheet.

Grenade goes off next to hero -he carries on unscathed; grenade goes off anywhere within a 20m radius of villains henchmen or enemies of the hero and they all drop like flies.

Norfolk has mountains. (Check the film Reign of Fire where the survivors of the attack on London move to the mountains of Norfolk.)

A decent villain has to have a English accent.

[fsn]

On the *ahem* front, I am constantly surprised that a couple meet, have a drink, sex then wake up the next morning half dressed.  What self respecting man spends the night with a woman and she wakes up wearing her bra and her makeup perfect?

However fast you are driving, there's always another gear to go up into.

No-one ever uses the toilet - except to take drugs or to ready a weapon.

Any soldier with "a girl back home", isn't going to make it out of the film alive.

[Orcs]

A colt peacemaker revolver  is a highly accurate firearm, that despite being called a six shooter can fire 30+ rounds before reloading.

Americans are intelligent !

WW2 was fought entirely by the Americans with a few British being given cameo roles.

All women of importance to the plot are highly attractive.

Directors will go to great lengths to get most historical aspects of a film right, but will always make a glaring mistake.

The person in charge is always an idiot  

[philv]

The richest or poshest, or most religious person is always guilty of crime.

Police never have the fire escape covered.

[petercooman]

Any soldier with "a girl back home", isn't going to make it out of the film alive.

And most of the time he gets the 'i'm leaving you for someone else' letter before he dies

[FierceKitty]

Spitfires were the fastest things in the sky, and the most important figure in the Battle of Britain was Vera Lynn.

Nobody between 1400 and 1700 dressed in anything but dull brown and grey in Europe; likewise every barbarian tribesman.

Crusaders were heavily bearded.

Bad guys prefer to communicate with each other in unidiomatic and heavily-accented English.

Anyone in a turban is either entirely treacherous or 184% loyal.

Legionaries wore ill-fitting biker jackets instead of armour.

Women in movies where they might have hoped for the embraces of Sean Connery or Timothy Dalton are willing to settle for Roger Moore.

Every second man in France is Gerard Depardieu.

[Chris Pringle]

People in positions of authority - whether army officers, corporate managers, or political leaders - are generally either stupid or evil or both.
(See also the "Fury" thread: http://www.pendrakenforum.co.uk/index.php/topic,12878.msg178620.html#new )

Chris

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Nothing - I already knew every thing.

IanS