Clever Jokes

[Hertsblue]

Here you are, TCP as we older generation know it:-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TCP_%28antiseptic%29

And, boy, does it sting!   

[raykey]

how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb,
The question is does it want to change

[fsn]

... TCP as we older generation know it:-

My dad used to make us gargle with it if we had a sore throat. Took about 3 days for the awful taste to go away.

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Sure that weren't jut air in Runcorn ?

IanS

[Techno]

My dad used to make us gargle with it if we had a sore throat. Took about 3 days for the awful taste to go away.

Talking of weird tastes....Have you noticed....If you have something like 'Lemsip' in your favourite tea/coffee mug, it takes about six cups of your normal beverage before you stop noticing the Lemsip taste ?

However many times you thoroughly wash the mug !

(Just thought I'd throw that in. )

Cheers -

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Not if you wash it in hot water, not grind with sand like what they do in Wales.....

IanS

[Techno]

HAH !
You may use sand in the Wirral...We've discovered fire and its heating properties here. 
Cheers - Phil

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Only by accident Techno, when that last storm set your scuddies ablaze on the line! Now you have to keep it alight! 

[Techno]

HAH !!....More abuse !   
Cheers - Phil

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Lov ya really Phil! 

[Si Tyler]

The TCP one isn't quite right so therefore doesn't qualify as clever.

The Starting SYN from TCP is essentially " Hello, I would like a beer"
It doesn't get repeated back in the the ACK from the Barkeep.  Essentially the response from thebar keep is given by the fact the communication was established in the same language (beer ordering)  The bar keep sends back a flag that it understood the SYN and confirms it can continue e.g The SYN and ACK are sent back "Good, you would like a beer" (I know you want bitter, I have some on tap, are you ready to order?)
The ACK back from TCP is essentially agreement that "Yes, a Beer" (I asked the barkeep, he has understood me, he has what I want to do and I am now confirming its beer and not shandy)

The application (beer drinker) communicates with the other application (barkeep) then about how much (pint, litre, half, Grosse, ladies portion), in what form (Sleeve, Jug etc) and whether he wants crisps.  TCP is the flow control that keeps the exchange of information going without any confusion.

The process closes with the  TCP ending it with "That's everything thank you", The barkeep replies with "about a weeks wages" money gets handed over, change given and then TCP walks away.

Now the one about the UDP packet going into a bar, that is the same as sending your mate down the off license with your order and hoping it comes back with what you want.

[Si Tyler]

Ooops

[Ithoriel]

Si,

I am convinced of two things.

1. you have a very good grasp of the TCP/IP process.

2. You overestimate the requirement for strict Real World(tm) accuracy in telling a joke.

[Si Tyler]

My bad.

[FierceKitty]

Me old mum loved 'em. But needed the tachyon one explained.