Clever Jokes

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Not if you wash it in hot water, not grind with sand like what they do in Wales.....

IanS

[Techno]

HAH !
You may use sand in the Wirral...We've discovered fire and its heating properties here. 
Cheers - Phil

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Only by accident Techno, when that last storm set your scuddies ablaze on the line! Now you have to keep it alight! 

[Techno]

HAH !!....More abuse !   
Cheers - Phil

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Lov ya really Phil! 

[Si Tyler]

The TCP one isn't quite right so therefore doesn't qualify as clever.

The Starting SYN from TCP is essentially " Hello, I would like a beer"
It doesn't get repeated back in the the ACK from the Barkeep.  Essentially the response from thebar keep is given by the fact the communication was established in the same language (beer ordering)  The bar keep sends back a flag that it understood the SYN and confirms it can continue e.g The SYN and ACK are sent back "Good, you would like a beer" (I know you want bitter, I have some on tap, are you ready to order?)
The ACK back from TCP is essentially agreement that "Yes, a Beer" (I asked the barkeep, he has understood me, he has what I want to do and I am now confirming its beer and not shandy)

The application (beer drinker) communicates with the other application (barkeep) then about how much (pint, litre, half, Grosse, ladies portion), in what form (Sleeve, Jug etc) and whether he wants crisps.  TCP is the flow control that keeps the exchange of information going without any confusion.

The process closes with the  TCP ending it with "That's everything thank you", The barkeep replies with "about a weeks wages" money gets handed over, change given and then TCP walks away.

Now the one about the UDP packet going into a bar, that is the same as sending your mate down the off license with your order and hoping it comes back with what you want.

[Si Tyler]

Ooops

[Ithoriel]

Si,

I am convinced of two things.

1. you have a very good grasp of the TCP/IP process.

2. You overestimate the requirement for strict Real World(tm) accuracy in telling a joke.

[Si Tyler]

My bad.

[FierceKitty]

Me old mum loved 'em. But needed the tachyon one explained.

[Hertsblue]

You overestimate the requirement for strict Real World(tm) accuracy in telling a joke.

Brevity is the soul of wit - to quote Oscar Wilde.

[FierceKitty]

Indeed?

[Orcs]

Me old mum loved 'em. But needed the tachyon one explained.

I am gald you sent her these jokes and not some of my other ones 

[Fenton]

I am sure number 23 is an old Goon show joke , though Spike Milligan could also have nicked it

[FierceKitty]

I am gald you sent her these jokes and not some of my other ones 

Mummy's sense of humour is far bluer than mine at times.

[fsn]

I am sure number 23 is an old Goon show joke , though Spike Milligan could also have nicked it

... or indeed written it.


"What are you doing in that piano?"
"I'm hidin!"
"Don't be silly, he's been dead for centuries!"

[Hertsblue]

Milligan wasn't above recycling old jokes.

[Fenton]

... or indeed written it.


"What are you doing in that piano?"
"I'm hidin!"
"Don't be silly, he's been dead for centuries!"

Moriarty where are you?

I'm disguised as a G String

Ah...So that's why I cant see you

[Hertsblue]

Admit it, you're a spy.

Nein, nein I'm a shepherd

Ah, a shepherd spy!

[Ithoriel]

Late one night, there was a menacing knock on the door. Ariminius opened it.

He said "Who are you?"

They said "We've come for your berry."

He says "It's not my berry, it's my wife's berry. Have you come to praise her berry?"

They say, "No, we've come to seize her berry, not to praise it!"

paraphrased from I'm Sorry I'll Read It Again