I will show the wife this one

 

Why is a wedding dress white?..............To match the appliances.
Why don't women need  a drivers license?.............I've never seen a road from the fridge to the stove.
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?...........Nothing, you done told her twice already.

Dave

Ouch on that last one

Ditto  

Even if it's tongue-in-cheek...

Quote from: CorvetteK225 on 22 August 2010, 10:30:23 PM
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?...........Nothing, you done told her twice already.

Just ain't funny.

Trust me, very much tongue in cheek.

Dave

Quote from: CorvetteK225 on 23 August 2010, 12:36:24 AM
Trust me, very much tongue in cheek.

Dave

It could have been worse mate, you could've gone for a mother-in-law joke!

Two men were in a pub.  One says to his mate, "My MIL is an angel."  His friend replies, "You're lucky.  Mine is still alive."

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.
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What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture?

The vulture waits until you’re dead before it eats your heart out.
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An anagram of mother-in-law is woman Hitler.
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My mother-in-law said to me: “I’ll dance on your grave.” I said: “I hope you do. I’m being buried at sea.”
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The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door there was my mother-in-law on the front step.

She said: “Can I stay here for a few days?”

I said: “Of course you can.” And shut the door in her face.
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Definition of mixed emotions. Seeing your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new car.
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All from here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/life/article181026.ece

Quote from: nikharwood on 23 August 2010, 08:36:12 PM
An anagram of mother-in-law is woman Hitler.

I knew my mother in law was coming when the mice started throwing themselves on the traps

Now thats better