As the summer holldays approach I found some "useful" french phrases you won't find in most travel guides   


Greetings
"You've put on weight"
"Tu as grossi"
(tu ah gro - si)

"Haven't the police found you yet?"

"La police, ne t'a pas encore trouvé?"
(la po - lees ne ta pa zen - cor troo - vay)

General chit-chat
"Would you stop spitting on me while you're talking!"
"Voulez-vous cesser de me cracher dessus pendant que vous parlez!"
(voo - lay voo se - say de me cra - shay de - su pen - dan que voo parl - ay)

"Reality and you don't get on, do they?"

"Le réalité et toi, vous ne vous entendez pas, n'est-ce pas?"
(le ree - al - ee - tay eh twa voo ne voo zen - ten - day pah nes pah)

"You've got a face that would blow off manhole covers"

"T'as une tête a faire sauter les plaques d'egouts!"
(ta zoon tait a fair saw - teh leh plahk de - goo)

"Are you drunk?"

"Est-ce que vous êtes ivre?"
(es - ke voo zet eevr)

"You have a chive on your tooth."

"Vous avez de la ciboulette sur votre dent"
(voo za - vay de la see - boo - let ser votr den)

"You're a complete moron"

"Tu es completement debile"
(tu eh com - plet - e - men de - beel)

"You get on my nerves

"Tu me peles le jonc"
(tu me pel - e le zhonc)

"As a child, was your cradle rocked too close to the wall?"

"On t'a bercé trop près du mur?"
(on ta ber - say troa pray du mer)

"Idiot", "Fool", "Cretin", "Imbecile"

"Idiot", "Fou", "Cretin", "Imbecile"
(ee - dee - o, foo, cre - tin, Im - be - seel)

Helping Others
"What did your last slave die of?"
"De quoi est mort votre dernier esclave?"
(de kwa eh mor votr der - nee - er es - klahv)

"I'd help you, but I don't like you."

"Je vous aurais bien aide, mais je ne vous aime pas."
(zhe voo zaw - ray bien ai - de may zhe ne voo zaim - e pah)

"Do it yourself."

"Faites-le vous-même"
(fay - teh le voo mehm)

"Stop bothering me!"

"Parle à mon cul, ma tête est malade"
(parl a mon cul, ma teht eh ma - lahd)

Dealing with Parents of children
"My God your children are ugly!"
"Mon Dieu, que vos enfants sont laids"
(Mon dyer ke voe zen - fant son lay)

"Your children are very attractive. Are they adopted?"

"Vos enfants sont très beaux. Ils sont adoptes?"
(vo zen - fant son tray boh. Il sont a - dop - te)

"How much for the little girl?"

"Combien pour la fillette"
(com - byen poor la fill - et)

Le sens de l'humour britannique n'est pas qu'il a eu l'habitude d'être.

LMAO @ the both of you.

Quelle' que spectacle je pense.

Missed one:
je me rends 

A bunch of us are going to Normandy on the 6th. Our intention is to allow Just A Few Orcs to do all the talking, especially with anyone in a position of authority. 

We will remain at a safe distance and, if asked, pretend that we do not know him!

Look forward to seeing you all as an item on the news then.
Cheers - Phil.

Some translation (most of them) are grammatically correct but aren't used at all in French.

Quote from: sunjester on 04 June 2013, 12:04:34 PM
A bunch of us are going to Normandy on the 6th. Our intention is to allow Just A Few Orcs to do all the talking, especially with anyone in a position of authority. 

I have my stripy jumper, Beret and a string of onions ready to take so I can blend in with the locals    

Toutes merdes. Vous voulez arretes, mais non?  

Language that man !!
By the way.....Did you hear that the actual word 'Effing' is now considered a 'no-no' before the watershed on TV ?
'Spose that's fair enough in a way though.
Cheers - Phil.

So if I complain about the food I cannot say "Effingham" 

Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 04 June 2013, 09:09:43 AM
(...)

"Are you drunk?"

"Est-ce que vous êtes ivre?"
(es - ke voo zet eevr)
(...)

I like that, if you come to Brittany, the answer will be "yes, of course" !


"I'm drunk" = "Me zo mezv " in breton.  It may be useful, no ?   

--
Ronan, from Brittany 

PS : one main word we use every time is "putain" ( "bitch"), we use it every time, for something good, someting wrong, something bad. Juste change the tone : very short or very long , it's bad.  Otherwise it's good. It's very slang, but very commonly used.  Try google to hear it, I don't know how to spell it in english. 

When you encounter a police officer, be sure to say:

'Je vais te casser tout les dents.'

It means your uniform looks nice, and will open the way for further communiction.

Really it does mean that  

To me it sounds more like encouraging the "Flic" pour casser les dents pou toi. 

Un petit peu