SUPERB !!
Cheers - Phil.

Have you got time to talk?

Yep, you're paying the bill.

Then leave the phone off the hook whilst they ramble on.

Think I'll use it.

IanS

Great!   

 

Way to deal with these people! 

Only problem is you could be charged with impersonating a police officer. A fairly serious offence! 

Hello is that Mr G---- (assuming as my partner on their list was Mrs G----- I must be Mr G----)

No

May I speak Mr G-----

I hand the phone to my step-son

Five minutes later

I don't think I can afford that, I only get £5 pocket money.

Yeah, the "hold on a second, ill jut get him...." Then Ieave em for a while, I then pick the phone back up "you still there?..." If they are say, "sorry bout that, hold on one more minuet, ill just get him..." That's a good one, but if I'm in a really funny mood, especially if they ask me personal questions like, who do I bank with etc I like to ask,

"What are you wearing?"

Funny, some hang up, some actually tell me, I call theses guys a challenge, but once I go "oh! That sound really nice, are you wearing a __ too?"  If they a sure that I against say "ohhh nice" really fun

You see, Blackadder, I am a colossal pervert.

Quote from: Hertsblue on 02 March 2013, 12:19:16 PM
Only problem is you could be charged with impersonating a police officer. A fairly serious offence! 

For such a charge to be made the cold caller has to admit cold calling you - and thus accept a 250,000 € fine by European Dictators in Brussels (sic!). In the US you have to sue them for harrassment - not aware they have laws against these pests yet but maybe one of our brothers across the pond can enlighten me?

I actually started insulting those people untill one told me he would sue me. I replied I am happy to see him in court if he fancies the question why they called me without explicit permission. Since that was 4 years ago I guess the gentleman has evaluated his legal stance and chances to win (insulting costs 50 € in Germany - standard rate) in the proposed court arrangement.

I know one older chap who keeps a referee's whistle by the phone.....and if it's a cold call he gives them a very loud blast !
Dunno about that....If he somehow damages someone's eardrum, could he charged with assault ?
Cheers - Phil.

I think so.

IanS

Quote from: sebigboss79 on 03 March 2013, 08:36:33 PM
For such a charge to be made the cold caller has to admit cold calling you - and thus accept a 250,000 € fine by European Dictators in Brussels (sic!). In the US you have to sue them for harrassment - not aware they have laws against these pests yet but maybe one of our brothers across the pond can enlighten me?

Cold calling is not an offence in the UK, provided it's done before 9.00pm. Impersonating a Police Officer is contrary to Section 90 of the Police Act 1996 and quite often results in a custodial sentence.

Quote from: Techno on 04 March 2013, 08:11:47 AM
I know one older chap who keeps a referee's whistle by the phone.....and if it's a cold call he gives them a very loud blast !
Dunno about that....If he somehow damages someone's eardrum, could he charged with assault ?
Cheers - Phil.

Yes. Especially as assault is a "higher" offence than cold calling. Verbal insulting is not. So the choice is yours

WARNING: Threadomancy in progress!

<phone rings>
Him: Hello, my name is Kip. I'm phoning on behalf of BT (Yeah! Right!)
Me: I'm sorry I didn't catch that. Who are you calling on behalf of?
Him: BT
Me: Nope, sorry, still not catching that.
Him: BT .. British Telecom
Me: Oh! BT! Sorry, I'm having a problem with your accent.
Him: Sir ...
Me: Seems only fair, you're probably having a bit of a problem with mine.
Him: Sir, we have been monitoring ... blah, blah ... internet ... blah, blah, hacking ... blah, blah ... IP address ... blah
Me: Sorry did you say IP?
Him: Yes, your IP address has been hacked ...
Me: Sorry, what's an IP address?
Him: Sir your IP has been hacked ...
Me: Well, all that IP means to me is Intellectual Property and I can't think that's what you're talking about.
Him: Sir, may I continue?
Me: .....
Him: Sir, may I continue?
Me: I was waiting for an explanation of "IP address"
<call dropped>

Very poor effort on my part. A score of approximately 180 (seconds) is well below my best.

I have on occasion managed to wind cold callers up  so much they call me some very rude names.

I also know some very rude Punjabi words that they don't like. 

Never. Ever. Answer. Phone.
Possible interdimensional trap.

As above. I have an answerphone so listen to recorded messages, then swear at them with no comeback. If I am caught off guard my response is usually along the lines of, Brian? that's an unusual name for someone from the Indian sub-continent and leads me to suspect that this is a somewhat nefarious operation. Cheerio!

I insulted one so badly, he called me back sometime later to complain about my attitude.  Victory!  He received much worse the second time.