Man goes to his doctors with bad sunburn all over.  He says "I've had to take time off work, because if I wear clothes too long it is really painful.  That's ok, but I'm having trouble sleeping because the sheets rub."

The quack prescribes him Viagra.

The man says "Will that cure the sunburn?"

"No, but it will help keep the sheets off you..."

 

 

Wouldn't do me too good I'm afraid. 

With a pecker the size of mine I'd be lucky if the sheets cleared my beer gut

Too much detail Nosher .