Got sent this recently...
Some I've heard....Others not....
Some I think are terrific....Others Hmmm.
Hope you like 'em.

A member of parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease."
The reply...."That depends, Sir, whether I embrace your policies, or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."....Walter Kerr.

"He has all the virtues I dislike, and none of the vices I admire".....Winston Churchill.

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.".....Clarence Darrow (who he ?....have to look him up !)

"He has never been known to use a word that might send the reader to the dictionary."....William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemmingway).

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time in reading it." ...Moses Hadas...(Someone else I'll have to check on.)

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."...Mark Twain.

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."....Oscar Wilde

"He is a self made man and worships his creator."....John Bright..(Same again.)....

More soon.

Cheers - Phil

First time I've heard that one attributed to D'Israeli. Normally said to have been Wilkes, addressing the Earl of Sandwich.
Which said, my favourite Twain quotation is his comment on Rhodes:  I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Quote from: FierceKitty on 28 April 2012, 09:55:47 AM
Which said, my favourite Twain quotation is his comment on Rhodes:  I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Wonderful FK....

You're probably right about the Disraeli quote.....Who knows where these 'sort of' chain mails start from and if they're remotely accurate.
Still fun though !

Cheers - Phil.

Hahahaha great, more please

This is the worst sourced quote, but I think Disreali was involved in something like this;

During a heated debate he exclaimed "half the members of this house are mad men!". Uproar ensued and he was angrily told to withdraw the remark, to which he apparently replied "I do withdraw the remark; half the members of this house are not mad men"

Details are all wrong, but that's the gist.

"I've had a wonderful evening. But this wasn't it !"......Groucho Marx (Was that from a film though ?)

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."....Stephen Bishop.

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.".....Irvin S Cobb (And lots of others I reckon....An oldie but a goldie.)

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."....Mae West (Really ??..or was that from a film too ?)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."....Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music.".....Billy Wilder

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses a lamp-posts....For support rather than illumination."......Andrew Long

"He loves nature....In spite of what it did to him."......Forrest Tucker

Th...th...That's all folks !

Cheers - Phil.

Officer's Annual Appraisals....

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

- I would not breed from this Officer.

- This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.

- When he opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

- He would be out of his depth in a puddle.

- Technically sound, but socially impossible.

- This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

- This young Gentleman has delusions of adequacy.

- This Medical Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar.

- Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has continued to decline.

- He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

- This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.

- In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

- Works well when under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap.

Some absolute belters there Ben !!
Love 'em.
Cheers - Phil