Rob, i'm afraid if you don't own that field you're on it's a £1000 fine and 10 minutes in the Aggro-Dome.

Self-incrimination is no defence.

I perhaps ought to keep it a secret that we also have 2 V8 Range Rovers.

Oh No did I say that out loud? 

1 Children should banned from supermarkets. The amount of times I have nearly run over some misbehaving brat while pushing a fully loaded trolley when they suddenly run accross the aisle in front of you....... .  I know if I hit them, thier parents will blame me as its not thier little darlings fault. No its not ..... ITS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT KEEPING THEM UNDER CONTROL.

2 Parents who allow thier little darlings to pick up other peoples figures or traders stock at wargames shows should be put in thumbscrews after being made to purchase everything said little darling has touched.

3 In summer the supermarket freezers should be kept with only a single layer of produce at the bottom. Thus improving the view as young ladies reach for the item.  .    Note law 1 also has to be in place or it might well be my fault when the little darling is run over.

Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 17 February 2012, 12:03:04 AM
3 In summer the supermarket freezers should be kept with only a single layer of produce at the bottom. Thus improving the view as young ladies reach for the item.  .    Note law 1 also has to be in place or it might well be my fault when the little darling is run over.

Don't work for RyanAir's PR department do you?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17036830

Quote from: goat major on 16 February 2012, 03:54:05 PM
three cheers for that man!!!

Entirely agree. But this thread has lost the path; we're listing offences, not laws.

Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 17 February 2012, 12:03:04 AM
2 Parents who allow thier little darlings to pick up other peoples figures or traders stock at wargames shows should be put in thumbscrews after being made to purchase everything said little darling has touched.

Haha!  I was at a show last year, happily chatting with a customer, when I looked down to find his young lad was systematically going along my display trees, smushing them between thumb and forefinger one at a time.   

Similar - once handed the loaves in my trolley to pensioner to "squash", as she hadn't done those two.....

IanS

It should be against the law for retired people to enter a bank, post office, buiding society etc. between the hours of 12 and 2.  They've all day to get their stuff sorted out, I've got half an hour.

Quote from: Rob on 16 February 2012, 11:21:52 PM
I perhaps ought to keep it a secret that we also have 2 V8 Range Rovers.

Don't worry Rob...
We've got more than enough fields to cover for you here in the Preselis.....We definitely need our Discovery here !
Shall we say £1000 per annum for each 4x4....Cash for preference 
Cheers - Phil

Quote from: DanJ on 22 February 2012, 02:22:47 PM
It should be against the law for retired people to enter a bank, post office, buiding society etc. between the hours of 12 and 2.  They've all day to get their stuff sorted out, I've got half an hour.

Speaking as a retired person, Dan, I agree entirely. Used to drive me crackers.

Quote from: Luddite on 15 February 2012, 04:34:37 PM
1.  If you have a cough/cold it is illegal to leave the house or go to work or any other place where you might infect other people.

Huh. You persuade my employer to pay people when they're sick, and I'll stay home with my runny nose.

Cheers, Martyn
--

Once rang in sick and wuz told - "git to that dat skool and infect em all", beauties of workin supply.

ianS

Quote from: Raider4 on 22 February 2012, 05:06:40 PM
Huh. You persuade my employer to pay people when they're sick, and I'll stay home with my runny nose.

Cheers, Martyn
--

Section 4 of my petty little law;

4.0 Payments to absent staff
Staff will be paid double time for their infection-based absence. 
This will benefit the employee who will be able to relax and recover faster, free from stress.
This will benefit the employer, who will only be losing 1-2 working days from one employee rather than dozens of working days from all the other employees that would have been infected by this unclean individual.

And while we're on work...

It shall be illegal for a manager to refer to a policy as a strategy, and vice versa.

It shall be illegal to call the department 'Human Resources'.  I am a person, not a resource. 

It shall be illegal to moan at me for not turning my PC monitor off overnight 'because it wastes energy', when the heating is on despite it being 12 degrees C outside, forcing me to open the windows to try and reduce the office temperature to below 38 degrees C.   

It shall be illegal to organise meetings between 12 and 1pm (lunchtime) any day, before midday on Mondays, or after midday Fridays.

Quote from: Luddite on 23 February 2012, 10:36:17 AM

It shall be illegal to call the department 'Human Resources'.  I am a person, not a resource. 

HR is very last century. Those at the cutting edge are now HCM (Human Capital Management). I wish i was joking