OK, you have the chance to pass three petty, small minded little laws.  What would they be?


Here's mine;

1.  If you have a cough/cold it is illegal to leave the house or go to work or any other place where you might infect other people.

2.  If you work in a shop, or on a till/checkout, it is illegal for you to lick your fingers in order to open a plastic bag. 

3.  Its illegal to make the title of any email, 'just a quick question', or to leave the email title blank.

1.  Make it illegal to have main beam headlights on in built up areas.  Also, clamp down on morons who insist on having their spotlight/foglights on as well when it isn't foggy.  (This is actually illegal already, but doesn't seem to stop half of them.)

2.  Make it illegal to cold-call people even if it's just for 'market research'.  I haven't had an accident, I've never used PPI, and I'm not planning on 'exposing' myself to foreign currency any time in the future.

3.  Make it illegal for banks to put a block on my card, just because they've seen a 'suspicious transaction', leaving me stuck at the petrol station unable to pay for my fuel.  If my card gets knicked, I'll phone you and tell you, I don't need you to jump the gun just because I bought something off eBay from a guy in the States.

Quote from: Leon on 15 February 2012, 06:07:30 PM
3.  Make it illegal for banks to put a block on my card, just because they've seen a 'suspicious transaction', leaving me stuck at the petrol station unable to pay for my fuel.  If my card gets knicked, I'll phone you and tell you, I don't need you to jump the gun just because I bought something off eBay from a guy in the States.

That happened to me just before Christmas!!!!

I was so angry with the bank they gave me fifty quid compensation 

Quote from: Rob on 15 February 2012, 11:39:42 PM
That happened to me just before Christmas!!!!

I was so angry with the bank they gave me fifty quid compensation 

They didn't give me anything!   

 

1. Soliciting should be illegal.
2. Advertising through phone calls, spam calls, and prank calls should be illegal.
3. Spam email, or blank messages should be illegal.

Have had way too much of that junk!

Peter - all three of those ARE.....

Enforcing it is the problem - particularly from international locations.

Should make debt collection agencies illegal.

IanS

Quote from: ianrs54 on 16 February 2012, 09:04:12 AM
Enforcing it is the problem - particularly from international locations.
IanS

Sadly.....Think you've hit the nail on the head there Ian.
Cheers - Phil.

It should be illegal in the UK to use the following phrases (ex-colonial types can speak as they please )

- "Math" when you mean Maths
- "Off of" when you mean off
- "Get go" when you mean beginning
- "Fries" when you mean chips
- "Regular" when you mean medium or normal
- "Grande" when you mean large

Punishable either by hanging or a £10 fine - haven't quite decided yet

Quote from: Luddite on 15 February 2012, 04:34:37 PM
OK, you have the chance to pass three petty, small minded little laws.  What would they be?

2.  If you work in a shop, or on a till/checkout, it is illegal for you to lick your fingers in order to open a plastic bag. 

Sadly, Luddite, it is actually impossible to open a plastic bag without licking your fingers. Try it sometime. So;

1. Plastic bags should be illegal for any use whatever (particularly the thin filmy ones they use for fruit and veg)

2. It should be illegal to play any form of i-pod/walkman or other noise-generating gadget in a public place even with earphones.

3. Anyone pronouncing the word "skedule" should be horsewhipped (unless they can produce hard evidence of colonial origin).

Bugger - two references to colonials....

Luddite has a lengthy debate going over at BKC Forum - lets not get it replicated here!!!

Little Laws:

1.  Shop assistants talking to their colleagues while serving you... unforgiveable. There's plenty of people out there looking for jobs - sack these people on the spot! I have walked out of shops before today leaving my shopping in situ when this has been done to me.

2.  Unwanted, un-solicited phone calls, emails, junk mail. Found my own punishment for these. All hard junk mail goes back in the post marked return to sender (without a stamp), phone calls I answer politely tell them to leave me alone ONCE of they ignore me I put down the phone and leave them to gabble, after all its costing them to call me... Dies anyone have a suggestion for junk mail?

3.  Sportsmen spitting - no need for it. They have now progressed to blowing snot from their nose by holding one nostril shut and hocking through the other. Bad enough when we had close up TV, but in HD its just disgusting. Dock them a weeks wages for EVERY offence

Quote from: Nosher on 16 February 2012, 11:44:11 AM
Dies anyone have a suggestion for junk mail?

I've been doing this for years Nosher mate:

Junk mail arrives from Company A & Company B: both have return slips & pre-paid envelopes.

You take the return slips & remove any identifying mentions of you.

You put Company A's slip into Company B's pre-paid envelope - and vice versa. Post.

Both companies then not only get junk mail themselves - they are paying for the privilege. Enjoy.  

Quote from: Nosher on 16 February 2012, 11:44:11 AM
Does anyone have a suggestion for junk mail?

If you're in the UK then register on the Mailing Preference Service Website http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/mpsr/ and the Telephone Preference Service website (for junk calls) http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/index.html

It definitely works - takes a month or so then junk mail will stop from any 'legitimate' company.

Right i'm on a roll now!.... We must immediately do something about the following;

- Shops/Hotels/Airlines etc should be banned from introducing self service tills on the basis that this is improving customer service. Is it bo**ocks.

But given that they already exist we need an interim law to ban....

- People who use self service tills when they have no ability to use a touch screen, no understanding of the concept of a bar code and lack the necessary motor skills/intelligience to use a credit card or type in a pin number 

1)  Brits sneering at Americans to be sent for life sentences in deepest Nebraska unless they've actually visited the States.
2)  Brits sneering at US English to spend five years in solitary confinement (unless they have a solid grounding in linguistic history) with only postings on this forum and The Sunfor reading matter'
2 (a)) Without page three.
3)  Directors filming gratuitous non-nude scenes to be deprived of their lens-licences.

Quote from: Hertsblue on 16 February 2012, 09:58:03 AM
Sadly, Luddite, it is actually impossible to open a plastic bag without licking your fingers. Try it sometime. So;

But sir, i riposte with a flourish!

It is indeed quite possible to open a plastic bag without covering your hands in slobber.

1.  Give the shop assisstand a small wet rag to moisten said fingers.  Still disgusting of course as the pad will no doubt harbour bacteria, but at least the assisstant isn't basically spitting on my food in front of me.

2.  Take the plastic bag, and at the top where it is failing to open, stretch it a little.  It wrinkles, breaks the surface tension and allows you to open the bag easily.



Further petty rules

1.  It is illegal to stop in the doorway of a shop or supermarket.  Why do women and old people in large groups do this?!?!!?  

2.  It is illegal for TV stations to make the adverts 120 decibels louder than the programmes its transmitting.

3.  It is illegal for a (typically feminine pointless smellies product) manufacturer to put the following on its adverts; '67% of 14 women agree'.  IF its using statistics to back up its ridiculous, lying claims about the new 'madeupetrese' or 'handwavium' ingredient, it has to have a scientifically conducted survey of at least 10,000 random people.

4.  It is illegal for any product to have more than one layer of packaging.


OK, i'm up to 7 now.  Broke my own OP...