In Honour of Stupid People . . .

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods.


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
'Do not turn upside down.'
(well,...duh, a bit late, huh!)


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On Sainsbury's peanuts --
'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)

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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)


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On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
'Product will be hot after heating.'
(...and you thought?...)


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On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
    (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

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On a bag of Fritos --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)


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On a bar of Dial soap --
'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be???....)


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On some Swanson frozen dinners --
'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's just a suggestion.)



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On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
'Do not iron clothes on body.'
(but wouldn't this save me time?)



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On Nytol Sleep Aid --
'Warning: May cause drowsiness.'
(..I'm taking this because???.....)


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On most brands of Christmas lights --
'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)


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On a Japanese food processor --
'Not to be used for the other use.'
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


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On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'
(Step 3: say what?)


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On a child's Superman costume --
'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


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On a Swedish chainsaw --
'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


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Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to
(maybe even chuckle)...


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****Blessed are the cracked:
for it is they who let in the light*****   

On a folding pram...

Do not fold whilst child is seated...

Warning.....

Do not read the one about stopping a chainsaw with your genitals while about to swallow a gulp of coffee

Unbelievable. (But sadly they're all almost certainly true aren't they ?)
But why aren't there any warnings on all the scalpel blades I get through, throughout the year ?....Don't these people think that I need saving from stupidity.
Do they ever tell me not to cut towards myself...Or not use while I'm sleeping....I think not ! 

Cheers - Phil

Quote from: Chad on 23 January 2012, 12:09:08 PM

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On most brands of Christmas lights --
'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to what?)


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Underwater ?

ianS

I stayed in a hotel in Liverpool once, where the trouser press had a sign on it saying:

'Remove trousers before using press.'

Signs like these should be banned completely.  Quite frankly anyone who thinks it's a good idea to stop a chainsaw using their knackers deserves everything they get.  It's just natural selection at work.

Fertilizer has been applied to the bowling green.
Please wash your hands after playing with your balls

Gandalf,

I suspect you of introducing the concept of fibbing, albeit subtly, into this thread, with the sole purpose of peddling puerile double entendres.
Good on you, Sir!

Mollinary

I've certainly seen a sign on a golf course while the greens are being treated.... "Players are advised not to lick their balls."....True !!
I believe they used to use very very low dosages of some poison like an arsenic (?) compound to kill the earthworms on the greens.
Don't know what they use nowadays tho'
(Think the green keepers do this sometimes as a joke nowadays to conform to what probably started as an 'urban legend'.)
Cheers - Phil.

Greetings

Many years ago our daughter was given a plush cuddly toy of a chicken whose label read 'Do not iron' ...

Unfortunately the instruction not to iron while wearing the clothes is based on a number of real life incidents.  My best man when at RN College Dartmouth years ago had a fellow trainee who decided to iron his shirt while wearing it to speed up getting to parade on time - he was rushed to the infirmary with serious burns.  Almost Darwinian.

Regards

Edward

i once saw a toy plastic sword (the soft plastic hollow type) which had a label saying - not suitable for self defence purposes

These are amusing but for real stupidity visit the Darwin Awards - one of my favourite sites