For those without a significant other some dating advice;-


"I'm only looking for someone who can financially support me."

"I've never dated someone less attractive than I am before."

"I'll be right back. I have to take the biggest dump."

"Why would I move out of my parents' house? I love it there!"

 Look, I'm all for gender equality, as long as women know their place.


Never complement a woman on her mustache - nomatter how epic it is.

You remind me of my mom

"Are those real?"

Given who posted, yes 

A few months ago I found a booklet in a garden centre called 'How to date a building' - and I caused my 31 year old daughter to crack up when I said '(Even if I wasn't married) Why would I want to date a building?'.

Edward

 

A couple appeared on my facebook page, the others I found online.

Is anybody else disturbed Orcs is giving dating advice?

Quote from: Last Hussar on 19 December 2025, 11:27:25 AMIs anybody else disturbed Orcs is giving dating advice?

Not really it's only for him after all

Quote from: Lord Kermit of Birkenhead on 19 December 2025, 11:46:46 AMNot really it's only for him after all

I have been with Mrs Orcs for nearly 22 years shows that I got something right, and have no need of dating advice.

That reminds me, aren't we due to send her the annual bribe to keep him out the way?

Key distinction for a gentleman to be aware of:

If a diplomat says yes, he means maybe. If he says maybe, he means no. If he says no, he's no diplomat.

If a lady says no, she means maybe. If she says maybe, she means yes. If she says yes, she's no lady.

Kitty,
No means no

I'm no less a feminist than you, sir. But I've had exasperated women say "Did you think I meant it, you wally?" often enough for observation to overcome dogma.

Quote from: FierceKitty on 20 December 2025, 08:57:49 AMI'm no less a feminist than you, sir. But I've had exasperated women say "Did you think I meant it, you wally?" often enough for observation to overcome dogma.

I've had my share of,"I know I said 'No' but surely you realised I didn't mean it. I just wanted you to try harder!"

I'm afraid my response has always been along the lines of,"You started our relationship by lying to me. And you're surprised it didn't go anywhere? Go figure."

QuoteFor those without a significant other some dating advice;-


"I'm only looking for someone who can financially support me."

"I've never dated someone less attractive than I am before."

"I'll be right back. I have to take the biggest dump."

"Why would I move out of my parents' house? I love it there!"

 Look, I'm all for gender equality, as long as women know their place.


Never complement a woman on her mustache - nomatter how epic it is.

You remind me of my mom

I mean, if she puts up with this sh*t, she's probably a keeper, but is he worth the effort?