Jokes

Started by Orcs, 21 October 2019, 10:42:07 AM

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Big Insect

22 January 2024, 03:53:08 PM #120
I saw this on a card and it made me chuckle:

"He's at that difficult age for a man. To old for a hoody and too young for a cardigan*"

* for those under the age of 40 (if we have any on here) a cardigan is like a hoody, but without the hood, made of wool, and the zip up the front is usually replaced by buttons  ;)
'He could have lived a risk-free, moneyed life, but he preferred to whittle away his fortune on warfare.' Xenophon, The Anabasis

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Raider4

22 January 2024, 04:43:25 PM #121
In this place, I suspect it would be more appropriate to explain what a hoody is.

Roy

22 January 2024, 06:36:53 PM #122
Quote from: Raider4 on 22 January 2024, 04:43:25 PMIn this place, I suspect it would be more appropriate to explain what a hoody is.

Isn't it someone David Cameron wanted us to all hug? [Blooming 'eck. 2006. Didn't think that speech was that old]

Sorry. LORD Cameron.
Rimmer: "Aliens."

Lister: "Oh God, aliens... Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it?

Rimmer: "Well, we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?"

Lister: "Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?"

Duke Speedy of Leighton

22 January 2024, 06:57:58 PM #123
I'm reporting that joke to the moderators, hoodies don't have zips, they're a one piece.
You may refer to me as: Your Grace, Duke Speedy of Leighton.
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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

23 January 2024, 09:44:21 AM #124
Quote from: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 January 2024, 06:57:58 PMI'm reporting that joke to the moderators, hoodies don't have zips, they're a one piece.
And all my Cardigans have zips......
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Orcs

23 January 2024, 10:33:26 AM #125
I am pleased to say I do not have a single cardigan in my wardrobe.

Quote from: Lord Speedy of Leighton on 22 January 2024, 06:57:58 PMI'm reporting that joke to the moderators, hoodies don't have zips, they're a one piece.

I have two hoodies, including one presented by the Dark Lord himself, both come with zips. So I am afraid the moderator is likely to find against you.   :)
The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Big Insect

23 January 2024, 11:47:12 AM #126
QuoteAnd all my Cardigans have zips......

I am a dyed-in-the-wool* traditionalist as regards cardigans. So buttons and a nice bit of Fairisle for me ... oooh-err-missus!

* nice to get that old phrase out, dust it down, pick-out the moths, give it a shake & use it again.
'He could have lived a risk-free, moneyed life, but he preferred to whittle away his fortune on warfare.' Xenophon, The Anabasis

This communication has been written by a dyslexic person. If you have any trouble with the meaning of any of the sentences or words, please do not be afraid to ask for clarification. Remember that dyslexics are often high-level conceptualisers who provide "outside of the box" thinking.

Ithoriel

23 January 2024, 01:02:45 PM #127
Currently wearing a hoodie ... with a zip
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Matt J

23 January 2024, 02:24:28 PM #128
Will is right a hoodie with a zip is not a hoodie, it's a jacket.
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Gwydion

23 January 2024, 02:46:00 PM #129
Would we have had a Charge of the Light Brigade at Balaclava if the Earl of Hoodie had been in charge?

Last Hussar

10 May 2024, 02:00:35 PM #130
I bought a whiteboard. It was remarkable.

Until I used the wrong kind of pen - it quickly became unremarkable...
I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain why you are wrong.

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Lord Kermit of Birkenhead

10 May 2024, 02:37:53 PM #131
Dont panic - it's cleanable
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d_Guy

10 May 2024, 03:19:11 PM #132
It is a hoodie if the zip doesn't go all the way down.

 
Quote from: Gwydion on 23 January 2024, 02:46:00 PMWould we have had a Charge of the Light Brigade at Balaclava if the Earl of Hoodie had been in charge?
Or even a Balaclava?
Encumbered by Idjits, we pressed on

FierceKitty

11 May 2024, 01:30:29 AM #133
Quote from: Gwydion on 23 January 2024, 02:46:00 PMWould we have had a Charge of the Light Brigade at Balaclava if the Earl of Hoodie had been in charge?

Yes, we wouldie.
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paulr

11 May 2024, 05:06:27 AM #134
 X_X
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