Quote from: pierre the shy on 24 October 2021, 11:43:38 PM
+1 from me.....in the middle of writing up a serious battle report right now actually 

No you are not, you are obviously reading this nonsense! 

Sir

In a recent letter from a military gentleman it was claimed that and I quote, “Eagles don’t hunt muskrats”. I must beg to differ. Have seen’ em do so with mine own eyes. I do concede to the gentleman that “we all eat oxburgers with mayonnaise”. As to the two-wheeled travel devices an inner ear injury during a hurling match in my youth has left me, non compos mentis ergo ego non canis in pugna.

Rt. Rev. Maxwell-Smith-Burton, MA, DD (in wistful anticipation)

Sir,

I submit that posts on muskrat hunting eagles would be better posted in the Nature file thread.

However, I must commend your correspondent for his suggestion that we should see more dogs in our model battles.  Although they seem sadly neglected in WRG army lists, dogs have often formed part of armies.  Commencing, as every schoolboy knows. with Alyattes of Lydia against the Cimmerians around 600 BC.   

Whilst NML5 do appear in one of my armies, I fear they are more cute pet than warrior. Indeed Rupert's fine poodle has sadly drawn many a ribald comment from those who have faced him on the tabletop.  Perhaps we may look forward in future to something more  fearsome along with a range of handlers through the ages.  Even 1/72 plastics can offer the fine mastiffs in the Strelets 909 box.    Alsatians were used in Polish armies so some handlers in Czapkas would be useful and given that all right thinking Englishmen are dog lovers, I am sure will easily sell in the 200 packs required to maintain our glorious founder's living.

Yours,

Captain Decem "Naseby" de Braose

Dear Sir,

I must voice a protest in the strongest possible terms about protests in the strongest possible terms.

Yours faithfully,

Major Enid Arbuthnot, 23rd Disgusting Bombay Fusiliers.

Dear Readers,

Whilst I have no particular truck with cyclists, I will admit a ceaseless frustration with a minor percentage of most categories of road-user.  Every day my commute to work is impacted by car drivers who can't indicate, can't get in the right lane, or think they have some superior right to drive like aggressive a*seholes.  At other times I have watched cyclists ignore red lights, swerve across traffic and jump onto pavements forcing pedestrians to avoid collision.  And then I've watched pedestrians amble across roads without a care in the world, glued to their mobile phone screens and unaware of the 2-ton metal box heading their way.  

Generally though, these people are the minority who give the majority a bad name and most folks get along fine and have some consideration for other road users.  Except taxi drivers, there it's certainly the majority who need to go back to driving school ...  

- Editor

Sadly vast numbers of people think they are the "special" ones and that society's rules don't apply to them (only to "others").
Of course, there is no consensus as to who is "special" and who isn't.

My opinion of taxi drivers is completely unprintable.

Dear Mr Editor,

I totally agree with your comments on Taxi drivers. One of the good ones al like the minority you referred to . You can tell he was a taxi diver due to his reluctance to give change when paying your subs at club. 

Regards

Mr S.K Int

Dear Editor,

Dungeons and Dragons 5e makes WRG 7th seem like child's play.
At least there are fewer miniatures to paint.

Yours,
George Engelheart

Sir.

Once again I have to draw your readers' attention to the paucity of accuracy in the BBCs (so called) News stories.
Today I have, on numerous occasions, heard the presenter talking about the Sewage Crisis.
Check your facts BBC !!
This happened back in 1956, and should be confined to the history books

Yours Col Buffinton-Tuffington (deceased)

(Seriously though  - YUKK !! )

Col Buffinton-Tuffington

        It appears that your demetia has taken far back into the past. No such Crisis is showing on my BBC News site. It's all about the budget. Can you forward me the address for your carrer as you obviously need some help.

            FM Chepstow Retd (Dec)

Sir

I write to complain in the strongest possible terms over the infiltration of this forum by sewage crisis deniers.  Less than a mile from where your correspondent is writing this, raw sewage is right now threatening my neighbour's homes.  Not only is it doing little for our tourist trade since the sea is unusable, if we are levelled down any further, we will be knee deep in the stuff.  No doubt the budget response will be to subsidise air freshener manufacturers rather than deal with our crumbling infrastructure.

  https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/19672912.southern-water-dealing-burst-sewer-lancing

Yukk indeed.   

 

Yours

G. "Pongo" Reaper

Sir

In response to Mr G Reaper, I can only offer my deepest sympathies at his very smelly predicament.  He has a surplus smelly fluid that needs to be moved elsewhere.

I would like to recommend the method we used in the army when we had liquid we wanted to move elsewhere.  We simply siphoned it into a bucket.  All he needs is a bucket, a  length of hose, and a good suck.

Regards

Major T Whit rtd.

To The Editor

I feel that I must express my OUTRAGE over the state of Public Toilets in the United Kingdom. There has long been a British traditional value of 'Spending A Penny' to use such conveniences... indeed, the phrase has become a recognised term  in our English language!
I carry a little embossed leather purse containing pennies sufficient for my needs.
However, in recent times, there has been a DEPLORABLE tendency for such conveniences to lack ANY FORM OF COIN SLOT!!!
What is one supposed to do? Wave one's 'thingy' around... so that anyone can see the numbers written upon it?

On a recent trip to our Capital City, I was very gratified to find a Gentleman's Convenience in an 'Underground Railway' station. Imagine my embarrassment to have to pass a TURNSTYLE in full public view! DISGRACEFUL! And there was a 20p charge!!! And THEN, the infernal thing could not be induced to accept my penny coins!
After many unsuccessful attempts to pay for my needs... quite unasked for and unexpectedly, , two kind gentlemen assisted me over the offending contrivance! My grateful thanks for your kind assistance to an ageing Gentleman. However, the unexpectedness of  such A Good Act had unfortunate consequence. and the facility was no longer required.
This once Great country is going to the dogs... but THEY do not get fined... agian... when THEY 'do it' against  llamp posts!

Lord George Wette-Fuyminge.

Dear Mr Editor

I must agree with wrath felt by Lord George Wette-Fuyminge.  I too wanted to use the convenience AT Euston station late one evening, only to find that I did not have a 20p piece.  None of the retailers would give change)(presumabley they would spend half the day giving out change for the toilets if they did).

The ticket office was closed  so I spoke to one of the station staff, who was most uninterested in my predicament. I asked if he had an override key and he replied in the negative.  I then said "Nature will not be delayed So I will be forced to relive myself behind your ticket booth.  Then Miracle of Miracles - An override key  materialised in his hand.

I suggest that in future times if caught short without the correct change Lord George Wette-Fuyminge offers to irrigate or even fertilise part of the station near the staff to see if the same miracle occurs.

Yours

Mr C.T Short.