1.  A best friend's job should be to clear your computer history if you die.

2.  Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize that you're wrong.

3.  There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

4.  SatNav should start their directions on #5, I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighbourhood.

5.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6.  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

7.  Bad decisions make good stories.

8.  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

9.  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVD's, I don't want to have to start my collection again.

10. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word, and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I didn't make any changes to.

11. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

12. I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello?  Hello? ... ), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail.  What did you do after I didn't answer?  Drop the phone and run?

13. I hate leaving my house confident of looking good, and then not seeing anyone of importance for the rest of the day.  What a waste.

14. I keep some people's numbers in my phone, just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid ghettos" routing option.

17. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and realise I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

18. I would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic carrier bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my shopping in.

19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

20. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear a word they said.

21. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk cutting in at the front.  Stay strong!

22. Shirts get dirty.  Underwear gets dirty.  Pants?  Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

23. Is it just me or do school kids get dumber each year?

24. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

25. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times, and still not know what time it is.

26. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in their pocket, finding their mobile, and pinning the tail on the donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the 'Snooze' button from 3 feet away, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Someone was up late with a bug in their brain

Must admit I can agree with a lot of these, but no 22. What are pants if not underwear? Or is it a translation for our transatlantic cousins?

In which case.

27. People who spell like Americans, who are not Americans should be beaten with a copy of Whinny the Pooh until bored/hungery

Okay it's been a long night for me too

No 24 should read "there's no worse feeling than when you wake with a start to find the central reservation of the M5 coming towards you." I can vouch for that one.

Quote from: republic of tolworth on 04 March 2011, 08:02:53 AM
Someone was up late with a bug in their brain

Nah, I found it on a different site and thought it was worth sharing!

Quote from: Hertsblue on 04 March 2011, 05:13:24 PM
No 24 should read "there's no worse feeling than when you wake with a start to find the central reservation of the M5 coming towards you." I can vouch for that one.

....   

Most of these allegations are The Truth^® !

I'm glad it's not just me with the 'Word' thing.

28. Is there a way out when you reach the crux of what you are saying, and find you have forgotten the point you were trying to make.

29.  Why aren't computer screens A4 paper-shaped?

30.  In America the mailman delivers the post.  In the UK the postman delivers the mail.

31.  Why is 11 not pronounced as 'onety one'?

32.  Why isn't 'phonetic' spelled the way it sounds?

33.  Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

34.  War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left,  -  Bertrand Russell

35.  At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

36.  Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

37.  Why do you constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?

38.  In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

39.  Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?

40.  Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?

Quote from: Luddite on 26 March 2011, 10:06:56 AM
29.  Why aren't computer screens A4 paper-shaped?

41.  Why do we abbreviate "world wide web" when "www" has more syllables?

Quote from: Leon on 26 March 2011, 11:27:55 PM


41.  Why do we abbreviate "world wide web" when "www" has more syllables?

Only in English it does 
We just call it weeweewee 

Quote from: Luddite on 26 March 2011, 10:06:56 AM
37.  Why do you constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?

Not me, no never ever... 

Russell Davies has his monitor portrait, and must probavly use the 'rotate' function in Windows Desktop - makes sense when you are a script writer.

31 Why are not the numbers 11 and 12 oneteen and twoteen?

42 - Pluralise the following
Mouse, louse, House

43 - conside the singular of
mice, lice, dice.

44 - a couple of weeks a go I posted this
http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2011/03/03/rhyming-ough/

Quote from: Luddite on 26 March 2011, 10:06:56 AM

34.  War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left,  -  Bertrand Russell

No-one was further left than Bertrand Russell

Quote from: Leon on 04 March 2011, 03:49:57 AM
1.  A best friend's job should be to clear your computer history if you die.

Quote from: Leon on 04 March 2011, 03:49:57 AM
1.  A best friend's job should be to clear your computer history if you die.

haha yes v important! 

I did this for my mate who sadly passed away in a motorbike accident a few years ago 

his PC and Sky + were full of XXX I thought that it was best that his missus/family didn't find out about it 

Quote from: nikharwood on 28 March 2011, 08:20:32 PM

Fantastic! I must have missed that episode, used to love that series!
"What do you mean, destroy!?"