Last night on getting into bed I was physically very cold. Consequently I moved across the bed to make use of the fact that Mrs Orcs was nice and warm.

The conversations went like this

Mrs Orcs : " Your cold"

Orcs " Yes, very that's why I have you in the bed.

Mrs Orcs " HMMMPHHH!

Orcs:  "Actually what I really need is another woman the other side to keep both sides warm "

Mrs Orcs : " You couldn't keep up"



So fellow forum members - Your suggestions please

My first wife used to complain about my cold hands (I usually had a cold shower before turning in) during the chilly Cape Town winter. Eventually she decided to get even by waiting until I was in bed, then steeping her own hands in (literal) iced water for a few minutes. Sadly for her, I noticed what she was up to, so when she joined me and laid on hands that would have frost-bitten a wraith, I remarked in a gentle and caring tone "Oh, baby, your poor little hands are cold. Here, let me warm them up for you...." Her groan of frustration was most entertaining.

Slightly more seriously, she's right, unless the women also fancy each other. No man can keep up with the female libido when it realises its potential.

Accept that an additional woman is more trouble than she will be worth, but still rise to the Challenge and Find another woman - preferably finding another woman who is more amenable to being used as a hot water bottle. However, you'd probably best, Accept that What Mrs Orcs said may be true.

I think that covers it.

Buying an electric blanket maybe just a little cheaper in the long run, though.

I think most of us probably couldn't keep up; I put the light off last night at about 10.45, next thing I knew it was 7a.m. this morning.

Quote from: Leman on 10 March 2016, 05:45:53 PM
I think most of us probably couldn't keep up; I put the light off last night at about 10.45, next thing I knew it was 7a.m. this morning.

We have a black out blind as well as heavy curtains as I work nights.  its not unusual at the weekend to find we don't wake up until 10am, especially if its dull outside.

I go to bed around 2 - 4am and get up between 10 and midday most days. I seem to be able to keep toastie warm all on my tod.

I might try that one.

Seeing as I'm always "too cold" to be allowed near the other half, perhaps a second lady that is open to the idea of rubbings sticks together for warmth....... 

I think she should agree.  The first 2-3 minutes might be tricky, but then she will have someone to talk to when you've fallen asleep.

Quote from: Last Hussar on 16 March 2016, 06:52:08 PM
I think she should agree.  The first 2-3 minutes might be tricky, but then she will have someone to talk to when you've fallen asleep.

As long as that?

Quote from: Last Hussar on 16 March 2016, 06:52:08 PM
I think she should agree.  The first 2-3 minutes might be tricky, but then she will have someone to talk to when you've fallen asleep.

Yes, your right, I should have pleasured them both by then !! 

Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 19 March 2016, 03:48:01 PM
Yes, your right, I should have pleasured them both by then !! 

Yes, by falling asleep.

And then they can get down to business........ 

Talking about Soap Operas