If you want to see proper thread lunacy, you need to join the Facebook "I'm sorry I haven't a clue appreciation society" group.

"Most folk believe Barbara Windsor should have received a Damehood years ago for services to sexual innuendo.
It's nice to see that somebody's finally given her one"

"Soviet leader's family taken hostage in the siege of Stalin's Gran."

"A news update about Samantha. She's had so much action under the mistletoe her lips are badly swollen. From now on she's going to just kiss people."

"Witches' makeover show - Changing Brooms"

I LOVE, "I'm sorry, I haven't a clue."

It's the new meanings of words that really make me giggle.

(Though I can barely remember any of them.)

A recent one I CAN remember was.....The definition of "barrier"
(Someone who's more like Barry, than Barry himself...........Well....It was something like that.)

Cheers - Phil.

Jack Dee has fitted in well after the demise of the late lamented Humph.


"Samantha has to go now. She's meeting her new friend who works on the canal and they're going for an Indian meal. Samantha says she can't wait to get her lips around a bhaji."

I like his brother, Norman.  He's got a landing.

Irony .... rather like iron

Ready ... a sort of red colour

Property ... a well made cuppa

Martial music .... part of a spaghetti western soundtrack

Broken ... my brother Kenneth

Kissing cousins ... snogging a figure skater

Speedometer ... measures how stoned you are

Cold Turkey ... Boxing Day lunch

Farting ... a faraway object in Jamaica

Pigskin ... a pig's family

Hermit ... a woman's glove

Had enough yet?

.... 

One for Techno

Dragon: something he's been working on for far too long now.

A dragon........(Singular) 

I think not.....There are 6 on the table at the moment.

No wonder it's (they're) taking so long !   

Cheers - Phil

Lackadaisical - without sufficient flowers to make a chain

Sticky - like a stick

Sickly - Unwell Confederate general

Photon - Not a real 1000kg

Banana - plea to remove Ms Friel from our screens.