Before we have the funny comments, this means "straws used for drinking" and not the "consumption of liquefied straws".

I have a question, oh Gentlemen of the Forum. Do men use straws?

For toddlers, straws are great. The stop drink bottom rising so far in the vertical that they outdistance drink tops and so cause puddles, disconsolate toddlers and miffed parents.

For children they're fun. They can be swirly and multi-coloured and you can blow down them and make sucking noise that embarrass your parents.

For teenagers they can be romantic. One drink, two straws is almost a cliché of adolescent attraction.

For women they can be damned sexy. There is something innately phallic about them that is immediately enhanced by a pair of reddened lips gently sucking on the top, whilst varnished nails beat a gentle tattoo along the length. (Dammit, I need a cold shower.)

For men though? What would make a man use a straw, beside a broken jaw? Once could argue that certain cocktails loaded with fruit and umbrellas require straws but unless you're on your honeymoon, when would you drink such a thing?

I can't imagine a rugby team in the changing room delicately sipping through straws. Cans and bottles do not require straws. So why would a man use a straw?

"My name is Bond, James Bond. Dry Martini, made with vodka, shaken, not stirred ... and a straw."  Not right is it?  It's enough to drive wimp Galore to a name change.

I will give you Poirrot. That bewhiskered fop would definitely use a straw.

So, do we have anyone out there in defence of straw usage, or like me do you discard them at the earliest opportunity?

Have you been mixing your medication, again ? 
Cheers - Phil.

Possibly, but I never drink it with a straw.

A decent milkshake requires a suitable straw to drink it with.

Cocktails ... when can you NOT drink them? That fruit is the only part of "five a day" some people get!

You are NEVER too old to feed your SO Maltesers with a straw!

A real man doesn't give a flying f... what other people think and if he wants a straw he will have one.  

A modern man will discuss it withhis peers and will go with the general consenus.

A teenager can't be bothered to get one and just before he takes a sip will wonder what the time is and pour it into his lap.

A lefty will ask if the straw was produced using carbon neutral methods and was it a fair trade purchase and point out that those capitalist barst.... in charge should be providing all honest hard working workers with straws  

Dave would say "can you send me one through so i can look at it"  

Leon would say "we can't deal with these staws now, but perhaps in 2019 we may have a spot for them"  

Mad Lemmy would say "straws are this years in thing, darlings"  

FK would say "you've spelt straw wrong"

Steeleye would say "Feck you all I'm leaving..."  

Techno would say "Sorry I can't see at the moment I've just slipped and chopped my head off"  

Sunray would say "Over and Out!"  

I have literally just thought of this but am I taking a straw poll of the forum?

(Straw poll .. geddit? Straw ... 'cos I'm asking about straws. Straw Poll. Straw Poll. Please yourselves.)

I suppose the question does boils down to what does modern man (and forum members) do? I don't think I ever saw my father use a straw except to try and blow life into an ailing goldfish. I find myself instinctively rejecting them. Is straw usage a metrosexual thing, like skin moisturiser and waxing?  Are hairy rough-a**ses like me out of step with modern methods of fluid ingestion? (Answer is probably yes.)

Quote from: Ithoriel on 12 November 2015, 01:16:16 PM
A decent milkshake requires a suitable straw to drink it with.

Cocktails ... when can you NOT drink them? That fruit is the only part of "five a day" some people get!

You are NEVER too old to feed your SO Maltesers with a straw!

THIS!

I have nothing else to add.

- Neil.

Rob,
But they sooooooo are sweeety! 

A whiskey sour should be drunk through a straw if no more than 4", whereas a pins colada should be drunk with a straw so lucky bg that you can drink from the next county.

I think it's a matter of choice.
If one is offered, I will use it. Even if it's pointless!

apparently the Duke of Marlborough considered straws useful for distinguishing the left from the right.

I did not use a straw for cans of coke till recently.  There was a news story about people getting ill after drinking from cans. Turned out the shop had mice in, the mice had peed on the cans. Some nasty diseases in mouse and rat pee.

I still rub the tops of beer cans. My grandfather used to do it to get rid of the pee accumulated by the beer on the way up on board ship from Aberdeen to Shetland. 

I turned out normal.

Quote from: fsn on 12 November 2015, 07:04:41 PM
I turned out normal.

Cheers - Phil

I worry about you lot......

Same thing happened to me when someone spilt coke on my tins of pee

 

Quote from: Nosher on 12 November 2015, 07:23:05 PM
I worry about you lot......

Me, too. 

Quote from: fsn on 12 November 2015, 07:04:41 PM
I turned out normal.

Anyhoo.  James Bond had a novel use for a straw. He jumped into the drink and sooked in the air.


Dr. No