How did they cut up the Roman Empire?

With a pair of Caesars!


Shall I get my coat (or should that be toga?)

Bodvoc - Forget your coat or toga, go for the knife proof vest, with a 'joke' like that I think you will receive points, lots of them, and very sharp ones, just as Caesar did!  

That jokes is definately a cut above the rest....

Reaches for coat before he's swept away in the ensuing torrent of puns from the sharp witted members

Caesar's wife made a stew and sent a bowl to Mark Anthony hoping he'd let all his friends know how good it was but it was so spicy he rushed round to Caesar's house and confiscated it.

Yes ... he came to seize her curry not to praise it!

You're all in detention !

Cheers - Phil.

What's green and conquered the known world?

Alexander the Grape 

Saturday detention !!
Cheers - Phil

How does Moses make coffee?

Hebrews it

Headmaster's study !
Cheers - Phil

why not an ACTUAL Roman joke?

Puer: Cur hi homines, pater, currunt?
Pater: Certant de argenteo calice
Puer: Et quis accipiet?
Pater: Primus
Puer: Cur igitur ceteri currunt?

Son: Father, why do those men run?
Father: They compete for the silver cup.
Son: And who will receive [the cup]?
Father: He who is first.
Son: So, why keep the others running?

Oh those WILD Romans, what a hoot!

Slight tangent (surely not - we would never do that) ....

Quote from: Bodvoc on 26 March 2015, 01:45:07 PM
(or should that be toga?)

True story. When I first encountered Sushi for sale in the UK, it was in Fortnum & Masons. With a name such as 'Togo," I thought, "This must be authentic Japanese stuff." 
It was not until later that I realised it was "to go." 

Now, that IS funny !
Westmarcher gets a gold star, to stick on the board. 
Cheers - Phil

Quote from: Techno on 26 March 2015, 05:24:13 PM
Now, that IS funny !
Westmarcher gets a gold star, to stick on the board. 
Cheers - Phil

Matron's pet

Go and stand outside the headmaster's study !
And stop fidgeting, boy !
Cheers - Phil

Quote from: Techno on 26 March 2015, 05:52:07 PM
Go and stand outside the headmaster's study !
And stop fidgeting, boy !
Cheers - Phil

Mumble mumble mumble...

dintsaynuffinlousymatronalwaysstickingupforwestmarcherjustcoshismumcameandcomplainedihatethisschooli'mgonnatellmemumandthenmatron'llbesorrythey'llseeihateitherethebiggerboysarealwayspickingonme...sniff