Strangely enough I did the same thing last world cup - but used flower arranging ...


"... and now on Today, it's 6:30, so it's all the Flower Arranging with Muriel."

"Thank you John. Today's headlines – 'Might Mo' has aphid problem in Rome, concerns about the water ion levels for the Stirling Lilies in the Cherry Blossom in Bangladesh, but the lead story is Janice Spinks' bruised index finger..."

"The paper review. We'll start with the back pages, where all the papers today lead on the national outpouring of concern for Janice Spinks' bruised index finger. You will remember of course she bruised the same finger before the 2008 Iris Cup and was effectively ruled out of the competition. The Sun carries the same story on pages 32 to 48."

"Further down, there are good news rumours that the Golden Team, the 2009 Scottish World Shield winners are all to be made Dames of the British Empire in ..."
"On the front page everyone is talking about the wedding of 'Poppy' to her long time partner Mary Prentice. Lovely picture of them there, the flowers were arranged by Janice Spinks, and the editorial asks if this contributed to the national disaster that is her bruised finger."

"Later on, we'll be talking to the woman who organises the practice tulips for the Welsh under 16's about same sex relationships in flower arranging."

"The headlines at seven o'clock. Janice Spinks remains in hospital awaiting a specialist being flown in from the Netherlands. Members of the Scottish team have visited Janice, and as they left they gave an impromptu display with some of the thousands of flowers left outside by well wishers. One message from a six year old girl said that she was praying that Janice would recover, because without her the Scottish team may not be able to repeat the World Shield victories of 1965, 1969, and the five times since. In other news interest rates rose to 6% as ..."  

"A new perfume from Marissa Booth, the bottle shaped like one of her trademark daffodils ..."

"On Good Morning, we ask why don't males understand the Orchid Rule? Can you explain it to your man in less than 30 seconds?"

"The news at noon. There's still no word on Janice Spinks' bruised index finger. There are growing fears she may not be able to arrange in Saturday's European Quarter Finals to be held in Manchester. The Prime Minister sent his get well wishes and the Leader of the Opposition said the whole country wished Janice well.   It has been announced that interest rates have risen to 8%  ..."

"In local news, a traffic reduction scheme for the period of the European Quarter Finals means that people whose surname begins A to M are forbidden to drive in Manchester on Friday, and surnames N to Z are forbidden on Saturday. This will improve air quality, so vital to those delicate blooms, by 0.01. This could give the English arrangers a feeling of home advantage, but of course Scottish arrangers are used to better air quality than this. If anything, this may favour the Norwegian girls ..."

"On BBC tonight. At 8 Panorama investigates the crisis in men's flower arranging. Why doesn't it get as much TV coverage as women's arranging, and what can be done to encourage boys into competitive flower arranging? After that, and in place of 'Match of the Day' we will be showing the arrival of the flowers for the Quarter Finals in Manchester. Then at 10:50 the big film is 'Mean Magnolias', the story of Champion US Magnolia Arranger, 'Switcher' Martin, played by Jennifer Garner, who is wrongly accused of a crime and sentenced to a term in prison. There she must whip a team of cons into an American Magnolia Arranging team to take on a team of guards."

"iPM on Saturday will have to make way for live coverage of the practice arrangements in the Asian Cherry Blossom 3rd Round in Bangladesh. British interest there is of course from the Stirling team, and you can hear the whole thing from vase inspection to the final axilla brushing, with post arrangement commentary and interviews from 4 am until 7.30, and then from 7.30 on ..."

"... and the question for this Pointless final concerns 'Iris Cup Winners'. We're looking for Scottish winners of the Rose Award of the Iris Cup since 1974. Richard .."

"At 6 o'clock the news headlines. Janice Spinks remains in hospital waiting the results of tests on her bruised finger. The Scotland manager Millie McPhie gave a press conference in which she said that Janice's finger was responding well to treatment, and she was sure to turn out with the Scotland squad for the quarter finals.  In other news, within the last hour, interest rates have been raised to 9% ..."

"On Celebrity Chef Dancing on Ice tonight, Isadora Pomfrett swaps her secateurs for sequins ..."

"The headlines at 9 o'clock. Relief as Janice Spinks is released from hospital. The BBC has lost its broadcast rights to the World Flower Arranging Shield next year to Sky Arranging. Interest rates hit 9.5% in a dramatic ..."

"David and Samantha Cameron were at an Arranging Academy in Stirling today, where they shuffled a few stalks with the children. "

"... and the weather. Cornwall will be swept away in floods and tempests, but on the positive, it looks like it will clear the air for the Scottish team in Manchester on Saturday."

"It's midnight, here on Radio 5 Arranging Extra. From now until 2a.m. it'll be your chance to tell us how you think the Scottish team will perform on Saturday. Will the return of Janice Spinks give the Thistles a boost? They've been a bit lacklustre lately, squeezing out a 6.5 to 2.7 win against England in last week's friendly. Should Minnie have played a stronger foliage pairing? She played Foster in the Iris and Forget-me-not, when it's well known she's much happier in and around the rosebuds. Still, who could forget last year's 8.2 to 1.1 drubbing of the Mostly Blues? Can Spinks pull off another grade 3 diffusion given concerns about the quality of this year's Honesty? There have been complaints about the tones available on the UFAA's standardised vases, and the impact of the foam and pre-soaking rule changes have yet to be assessed."

"But what do you think? Here's Betty from Luton ..."

Sorry he said, getting his apology in first.

Thank God for football, I say. It appeals to all levels of society and is one of the more common conversation opening questions. Personally, I can't wait until the World Cup starts. Love me football (the proper one not the foreign version). I doubt if I'll watch the lower end of the scale matches but for all the biggies I'll be there in front of the box with my mug of tea watching with interest as the best exponents of the beautiful game on the planet take to the stage. Followed West Ham since 1966 after watching the Irons trio of Hurst, Peters and the incomparable Bobby Moore helped England win the title. Not sure about some of the current lot though.

The only thing that really, really bogs me off is when supporters talk using 'we' as in 'we played well on Saturday' when referring to their team as if they personally had anything to do with it. To my mind these people need to get a life as opposed to living a footballer managers life for him.

Quote from: FierceKitty on 14 May 2014, 09:31:12 AM

Quote from: Hertsblue on 14 May 2014, 09:20:47 AM
I never thought that breed had much intelligence. 

That's my wife you're talking about!

So you are agreeing with Hertsblue then 

I want to live in the world of news and archaeology please!

I second that!  Could we just have a TV channel dedicated to Lucy Worsley, Prof Francesca, Mary Beard, Bethany Hughes and the like? 

Quote from: fsn on 14 May 2014, 08:52:37 PM
I second that!  Could we just have a TV channel dedicated to Lucy Worsley, Prof Francesca, Mary Beard, Bethany Hughes and the like? 

Sod that! I want a world where showing the World Cup final is postponed by a fortnight because they just discovered that Richard III is buried in a car park!!

Quote from: Ithoriel on 14 May 2014, 09:34:35 PM
Sod that! I want a world where showing the World Cup final is postponed by a fortnight because they just discovered that Richard III is buried in a car park!!

Only a fortnight 

'Fraid I won't be tempted to stay up to watch anything live, this particular time.
Might listen to some of it on the radio, as I drift off to sleep.
Cheers - Phil

Quote from: Ithoriel on 14 May 2014, 09:34:35 PM
Sod that! I want a world where showing the World Cup final is postponed by a fortnight because they just discovered that Richard III is buried in a car park!!

Uh oh. I agree with you about this.

What utter tosh! There were, at the last count, well over a hundred channels on UK television. If you can't find an alternative to football on any of them you're just not trying. As for the clips and mentions on the news, why should they be any more irritating than the results of the latest insipid "reality" show or gossip about some famous-for-fifteen-minutes "celebrity". Get over yourselves.

Can't wait for the World cup, especially since England have no hope what-so-ever I feel like I can enjoy it more without incredulous over-expectation from the media.
The games are on BBC1 and ITV and there is never anything good to watch on those channels anyway (unless you like 'Eastenders' 'Coronation street' and 'come dine my fat dog with neighbours from hell while baking off with ant and dec)

QuoteThere were, at the last count, well over a hundred channels on UK television

None of which were showing anything worth watching last night, BBC4 had a program on a lost city of pyramids in Northern Peru which should have been intersting but turned out to be 15 minutes of actual interest with a lot of padding and dodgy reconstructions, even archiology ain't what it used to be.

On the positive side I did cook a very nice steak, have a couple of glasses of excellent wine, paint the trousers on my next battalion of French 1914 infantry get the packing done for going to Normandy on Saturday.

FORGET TELLY, RECLAIM YOUR LIFE

Well, I'm exploring the possibilities inherent in Asian mushrooms as a pizza topping this evening, now that the little lady has finished baking her profiteroles. And we may play some shogi later on....

Quote from: Matt of Munslow on 15 May 2014, 09:35:19 AM
Can't wait for the World cup, especially since England have no hope what-so-ever I feel like I can enjoy it more without incredulous over-expectation from the media.
The games are on BBC1 and ITV ...

I'm quite looking forward to it as well, as the games are all in the evening/night, so I'll be able to watch some for a change!

QuoteI'm quite looking forward to it as well, as the games are all in the evening/night, so I'll be able to watch some for a change

is that because you're at work at that time 

QuoteWell, I'm exploring the possibilities inherent in Asian mushrooms as a pizza topping this evening

Are they like 'magic mushrooms'?

Quote from: Matt of Munslow on 15 May 2014, 12:19:01 PM
is that because you're at work at that time 

No TV at work unfortunately (except online through the computer), but I'm hoping to be able to get some early finishes and get home for some of the games.  The first one is the same day as the Phalanx show, so I'll try and stay awake after we get home for that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MusyO7J2inM

Quote from: FierceKitty on 15 May 2014, 10:12:45 AM
And we may play some shogi later on....

Is that a euphemism? 

i) The magic in the mushrooms was purely culinary; ii) the activities for which it might have been a euphemism have already been right thoroughly attended to, thank you for the thought.