So.....Let me get this right, Dan.

If that wasn't the right baker.....are you going to be charged with stealing a canoe if you ever return to Greece ?
It's nice to hear of plans that couldn't really have worked out any better.
What a trip to meet a friend, in a bar....Good on you.
Cheers - Phil.

Okay but . . . .did you ever get home, or are you still stuck in a bar on a Greek island ?

If you have to be stuck anywhere Meganisi's as good a place as any. Better than bloody Manchester, anyway. 

Quote from: Hertsblue on 01 January 2014, 01:15:04 PM
If you have to be stuck anywhere Meganisi's as good a place as any. Better than bloody Manchester, anyway. 

Which is not hard I must say...

Feltham (W London near Heathrow) is much worse than Manchester

None of you have ever been in Newry then

QuoteOkay but . . . .did you ever get home, or are you still stuck in a bar on a Greek island ?

Unfortunately we got home ok, swapped a ferry and bus for the canoe on the last but one day to get back to Lekada then booked into a nice hotel for a night of luxury.  The only problem was I let the hotel reception book the moring taxi to the airport and they got the time wrong, shaved off almost all my 'wiggle time'.

After the initial hiatus let me now elaborate on three topics and common continental stereotypes concerning the UK:

1.   Totally ugly females
2.   The worst food you will ever encounter
3.   Probably the worst liquid named beer on the planet.


Besides numerous trips to the British Island (post 1992) I had serious doubts concerning the female populace. Even if married one likes to roam the eye and set it upon something beautiful.

Now just by chance I came across a piece of research by a very famous and traditional German bra maker (http://www.topix.com/forum/life/interracial/TJEK0CD18GNQKGUS0).

With scientific evidence in hand (pun intended ) that British women are particularly gifted several verification trips of mine were able to confirm this and contradict stereotype 1. Unfortunately there seems to be only two types of women, those you would like to jump on sight and those you prefer not to see at all. Unfortunately these two types mix very well and I have yet to find the male El Dorado where only the former type resides.

Issue 3 has considerably more depth and relates very well to Issue 1 so I shall for the moment set my attention there. Contrary to popular opinion a German does NOT go blind instantly when his taste buds encounter substances named beer that were produced OUTSIDE any German borders (yes historical borders DO count for once). The issue, to my opinion, is derived from two problems.

A )   Unconditioned taste buds and
B )   Taste buds with very narrow margins for re-adjustment

Luckily I suffer from neither and came to like alcoholic beverages produced within areas with British jurisdiction. IPA (Duchy's Originals), honey beer (Bulmers), Hefeweizen (Stewart) among others are perfectly drinkable and deliver the desired effect upon both body and mind.

Although I must confess to occasionally remind my taste buds of home at 2.50 to 3.30 per single application! Which raises an important point: Alcoholic beverages are totally overpriced in this country. One would assume if above Issue 1 and 2 are halfway true at least Issue 3 should be cheaply delivered to make up for said deficits. On the contrary! Her Majesty, pardon my English, seems to be extraordinary against consumption of said beverages. Not that I dispute Her Majesty's right to excise but quoting an old merchantmen's wisdom (Sell cheap, sell a lot), I must voice my concerns over her accounts and business acumen.

Nonetheless I hope both Issues (1+3) have been sufficiently revoked and if not I am happy to submit myself as a testing subject, pending the unlikely approval of my superior (wife).

Now finally the food issue is a matter I am quite in two minds. While I do indeed like Haggis (yes I know its content) and other peculiarities (Salt and Vinegar on crisps) there is some things a German born and raised person is hard to apprehend. Personally I have, without negative result, eaten such delicacies as Yorkshire pudding, roastbeef, ploughman's lunch (breakfast, sandwich...). Not only have I survived against published opinion but I do like many foodstuffs.

What I dislike is the massive differences in quality across supermarkets (not to mention the use of specialised grocers and butchers seems to be declining). Having said that I DO admit I am a particular picky eater and prefer "close to nature" wherever possible. On a more positive note I confess the British come much later to this "organic" but a variety of these shops are opening across the country and offer a wide selection of produce.

Additionally one must acknowledge the many delicatessen (I order German food from a shop in London) and international foodstuffs being for sale – something particularly my country of birth has a tremendous lack in. Living literally 5 minutes from the border to France I was absolutely unable to obtain certain things unless I did my shopping in France.

So in summary I can assure the reader that above issues are a total exaggeration of circumstances and in some ways blatant lies. To what purpose I am not yet sure but I am happy to theorize with you.


Roland

Quote from: sebigboss79 on 04 January 2014, 03:47:29 PM
After the initial hiatus let me now elaborate on three topics and common continental stereotypes concerning the UK:

1.   Totally ugly females
2.   The worst food you will ever encounter
3.   Probably the worst liquid named beer on the planet.


Roland

I think you have the order wrong

1.  Probably the worst liquid named beer on the planet.

They chill this to be very cold ( Poor lager normally) and a humans taste buds don't function that well on cold stuff so your average 18 year old student is none the wiser that he is drinking crap beer.  Because it has no taste or taste like fizzy pop (Kopperberg) he drinks lots of it and gets drunk

2 The worst food you will ever encounter

Because he is drunk he gets a driving impulse to eat a dodgy Donner Kebab or Vindaloo - to his inebriated brain  The hot chilly sauce or curry shows his manliness


3  Totally Ugly females
Because he has now shown he manliness by eating said crap food he needs to prove this by finding a female to mate with . As he is three sheets to the wind and now stinks of garlic and/or chilli sauce the only females that are interested are the Ugly ones  but due to his beer goggles he does not know this and said mating takes place.  Due to his inability to use contraception and said Ugly Female pleased at getting lucky she gets pregnant and another Ugly person enters the gene pool 

There is a thread somewhere where Leon claims that to get lucky in Middlesbro' it takes 2 beers and a kebab.

Is this suitable evidence to "prove" my above theory


P.S  To avoid the wrath of Mrs Leon I am sure this is a theory on Leaons part.

Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 04 January 2014, 06:35:42 PM
P.S  To avoid the wrath of Mrs Leon I am sure this is a theory on Leons part.

We started going out after a night of 69p drinks and a parmo I think...

Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 04 January 2014, 06:35:42 PM
There is a thread somewhere where Leon claims that to get lucky in Middlesbro' it takes 2 beers and a kebab.

Luckier would be to spend the £13 to get the train out of Middle Borough to York.

Quote from: fsn on 04 January 2014, 07:25:22 PM
Luckier would be to spend the £13 to get the train out of Middle Borough to York.

I thought true happiness is the delivery of (another) Centurion 


Concerning those three issues it sureley makes "mating" easier if there is plenty of (crap) beer involved. ...For both genders of course

THey only made 5000 Cents, FSN has em all.

IanS