A man is driving somewhat erratically when he is pulled over by the police.

The Constable approaches the driver and says 'I believe you may have been drinking and I'm required to give you a breath test'

The driver rummages through his wallet and hands the policeman a card which says:
'Manchester Royal Infirmary. To whom it may concern. This man is an asthmatic please don't ask him to blow into any bags'

The Policeman isn't very happy about that but says:
'Well in that case sir I must ask you to accompany me to the police station where a sample of your blood will be taken for analysis'

The driver rummages through his wallet again and hands the policeman another card which says:
'Manchester Royal Infirmary. To whom it may concern. This man is a Haemophiliac please don't try to take any blood samples.'

The policeman is getting rather annoyed by all this so says. 'In that case sir I must ask you to accompany me to the police station where a sample of your urine will be taken for analysis'

The driver rummages through his wallet again and hands the policeman yet another card which says:
'Manchester United Supporters Club. Please don't take the piss.'

Ferb

 
Oldie...... but a goldie.
Cheers - Phil.