Two Londoners are sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be open new store.

As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other,

"I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Yorkshireman walked to the window,... had a peek, and in a broad Yorkshire accent asked "What's tha sellin lads' ere?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arse-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the Yorkshireman said, "Tha's doing well ..........................Only two left!"

The moral for Southerners - Don't mess with Yorkshiremen!!!

Never compare a Yorkshireman to an arsehole.

Arseholes are useful.

Quote from: Last Hussar on 06 December 2013, 07:08:15 PM
Never compare a Yorkshireman to an arsehole.

Arseholes are useful.

Many years ago some friends and i had a heated argument with a lad from Stockton who claimed he was a Yorkshireman and we said he wasn't any more.
He took it all very seriously.
Ahhh the joys of youth.

I went to Uni in Sheffield. It really hacks them off when someone who speaks as I do (standard English) decries the locals as "Southerners". When I reveal that I was born in Shetland, they have to concede.

Ahhh, As you say Mr Howayman, the joys of youth. 

Quote from: Chad on 06 December 2013, 01:47:34 PM

Don't mess with Yorkshiremen!!!

They're already a mess! 

Quote from: Hertsblue on 07 December 2013, 08:46:39 PM
They're already a mess! 

To be honest, if you don't come from Yorkshire then your opinion goesn't count...

Then again, I'm from Sheffield in South Yorkshire.
So I'm not really all that fussed about North Yorkshire or West Yorkshire.
Not that keen on Rotherham. Or Barnsley, or Doncaster either.
There are many areas/postcodes in Sheff that I'm not especially taken with.

The big picture = I love my daughter, my wife's (mostly) OK and the rest of the world is just an inconveniece I have to put up with. 

Dead Mrs/Miss/Ms Sdad, or may I call you Ellie?

Firstly, I think it's great seeing female members on the forum. We should have more.

Secondly, I concur 100% with the sentiment.   

Thirdly, I will say that I loved my time in Sheffiield. The locals were friendly, generous and polite. Not like Yorkshire people are supposed to be. (Btw, this is me being sincere.)

Quote from: howayman on 07 December 2013, 06:25:00 PM
Many years ago some friends and i had a heated argument with a lad from Stockton who claimed he was a Yorkshireman and we said he wasn't any more.
He took it all very seriously.
Ahhh the joys of youth.

And how right you were. Stockton, being north of the Tees was always Durham, the Tees historically being the northern border of Yorkshire. 

Quote from: fsn on 07 December 2013, 07:14:52 PM
I went to Uni in Sheffield. It really hacks them off when someone who speaks as I do (standard English) decries the locals as "Southerners". When I reveal that I was born in Shetland, they have to concede.

I'm from Yorkshire, my wife is from Carlisle. I still haven't got used to her calling me a southerner.

Sent from my HTC Desire X using Tapatalk

Quote from: fsn on 08 December 2013, 08:56:09 AM
Dead Mrs/Miss/Ms Sdad, or may I call you Ellie?

It just gets worse and worse !
Would someone please take fsn to the bar.....Put him down in the cellar and lock the door ? 
Cheers - Phil

Awww! Not again! It's full of broken furniture!

Many years ago my grandmother was on her death bed and mum had to fly from London to Glasgow to see her before she passed away.

At one point in the flight pilot came on the intercom and informed the passengers that they had reached thir maximum altitude of 30,000 feet and were over Yorkshire.

Mum, who claims to have spent years of her life in cars and trains traversing that county later said, "30,000 feet and 600 miles and hour, best way to see bloody Yorkshire!"

 

 
Cheers - Phil.