Seems like a British historian (Hugh Sebag-Montefiore) needs some students for grinding work in the Bavarian War Archives for a future book on the Battle of the Somme. I could imagine worse ways to get some additonal money, so I'm going to apply for the job. To spare myself the embarrassement of grammatical errors in a job application (even if it's just for a side job), I thought I might ask you guys if you could have a quick look at this:
October 11, 2013
Dear Mr. Sebag-Montefiore,
I'm writing you, because I think that I am skilled in all the necessary qualifications for the job. I have already obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree and started my Master studies in history last winter semester. Having thus far worked in both the Bayerische Hauptstaatsarchiv and the Bayerische Wirtschaftsarchiv in Munich, I was also able to gather considerable experience in the field of archival work. From both places I received excellent job references which I could hand in later, if so desired. Moreover, most files I worked with in the BayHStA consisted of material from the late 19th or early 20th century. Thus, I'm fluent in reading old German Sütterlin Schrift, even handwritten postcards, letters et cetera. I'm equally fluent in English and well acquainted with the British style of writing narrative history, which is among my favourite kinds of private lecture. The First World War in particular has always been among my chief interests. In fact, one of the first history books I've ever held in my hands was a work on the Battle of the Somme which my grandfather gave me as a present. I am therefore convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience and looking forward to hear from you.
Yours faithfully,
Jeremias Schmidt
So please don't let me down guys, I'm counting on you as I have no other native speakers at hand :D
I would say "I am writing to you" rather than "I am writing you" and "I think I have the necessary skills and qualifications for the job" rather than "I think that I am skilled in all the necessary qualifications for the job"
The first seems to me an Americanism and the second seems a little stilted to me.
What you wrote is OK but I think my versions are slightly more natural to British ears.
As for the rest, it reads perfectly well to me.
Good luck, I hope you are successful!
I agree with Ithorial.
The rest is great.
I would definitely include your references and Cv with it?
November 11, 2013
Dear Mr. Sebag-Montefiore,
I understand you are seeking a research assistant for your next book. I believe I have all the necessary qualifications for the job, and would therefore like to apply. I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in ?insert subject? from ? University and began my Master studies in history at the same university last winter. Having thus far worked in both the Bayerische Hauptstaatsarchiv and the Bayerische Wirtschaftsarchiv in Munich, I was also able to gather considerable experience in the field of archival work. From both places I received excellent job references which I can forward to you, if that would be helpful. Most files I worked with in the BayHStA consisted of material from the late 19th or early 20th century. Thus, I am fluent in reading old German Sütterlin Schrift, even handwritten postcards, letters et cetera. I am equally fluent in English and well acquainted with the British style of writing narrative history, which is among my favourite areas of private reading. The First World War in particular has always been among my chief interests. In fact, one of the first history books I ever held in my hands was a work on the Battle of the Somme which my grandfather gave me as a present. I am convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience, and looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
Jeremias Schmidt
Hope this is some help!
Regards,
Mollinary
Thanks a lot guys!!
QuoteI would definitely include your references and Cv with it?
I don't know whether Mr. Sebag-Montefiore is able to read German, so most certificates would be kind of useless. But I guess you are right, I better include them right from the beginning.
I would include them...you not losing anything by doing do
And if you do get the job I will be extremely envious
Good luck with it, I hope it works out!
The changes given above look good to me, only one small one in your last sentence:
"I am convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience, and I look forward to hearing from you."
OR
"I am convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience, and I am looking forward to hearing from you."
8)
Oops,
Just noticed, there should be an "am" in front of "looking forward to" in the last sentence.
Mollinary
"I am convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience, and I am looking forward to hearing from you."
Leon,
Not sure you need the second "I" in that sentence, I think the one at the beginning is sufficient - but I am sure an English teacher will. Be along shortly! ;)
Mollinary
Quote from: mollinary on 11 November 2013, 06:04:26 PM
"I am convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience, and I am looking forward to hearing from you."
Leon,
Not sure you need the second "I" in that sentence, I think the one at the beginning is sufficient - but I am sure an English teacher will. Be along shortly! ;)
Yeah, I'm not sure either, I read it through a few times, and it seems to read easier with the second 'I' in place? I prefer the first option I gave as a sentence though, seems to sound nicer.
:-\
Quote from: mollinary on 11 November 2013, 06:04:26 PM
"I am convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience, and I am looking forward to hearing from you."
Leon,
Not sure you need the second "I" in that sentence, I think the one at the beginning is sufficient - but I am sure an English teacher will. Be along shortly! ;)
Mollinary
would
look forward to hearing from you not suffice?
Quote from: Fenton on 11 November 2013, 06:07:23 PM
would look forward to hearing from you not suffice?
Works for me! Complicated language, what?!
Mollinary
Thanks for all the advice so far. Unfortunatelly I forgot a lot of things I learned in my English Writing classes. But that's the way things go..use it or lose it. Anyways, I'll spend the money on a Pendraken 1866 army if it works out ;)
[edited/redundant]
I have never heard of sending pictures with applications
What? ???
But ok, then one thing less to worry about. (maybe that's why i found no English term for "Bewerbungsfoto" [literally application-photo], there's no such thing)
I live in N.Ireland so it maybe different here than it is in England ...best to check first
Nope, never sent a photo with any applications before. They have all kinds of stupid legislation in place these days about what you can and can't ask for as part of a job application, all designed to stop any discrimination in the hiring process. The last time I had to interview anyone was about 6 years ago, but we couldn't even ask for a date of birth...? Luckily no 70 year olds turned up for the Saturday night bar job! :D
I've been recruitment for many, many years, and I would definitely not include a photo - unless you're appearance is germane to the role (e.g. as a model, or for TV appearances.)
Quoteall designed to stop any discrimination in the hiring process
That was my first thought after reading this. Sounds quite sensible, but isn't a standard here.
speaking of photos and the Somme, I guess this one is rather fitting for the topic
(http://s1.directupload.net/images/131111/j76zxy79.jpg) (http://www.directupload.net)
so once again thanks to everyone for helping out a German student, maybe I'm equally lucky with the job.
Good luck, let us know the result.
Best of luck! :-bd :-bd
Mollinary
For references, just put "The Pendraken Forum". We'll cobble something together for you. :d :d
Quote from: fsn on 11 November 2013, 06:46:50 PM
For references, just put "The Pendraken Forum". We'll cobble something together for you. :d :d
Especially if your future employer is a Centurion fanatic
Quote from: Leon on 11 November 2013, 06:01:10 PM
"I am convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience, and I look forward to hearing from you."
OR
"I am convinced that the work on your project would be both an exciting and rewarding experience, and I am looking forward to hearing from you."
I don't think there should be a comma after "experience". I think the sentence is too long not to include "I" or "I am" in the second part.
It probably really should be two separate sentences. However, I can see you are trying to link both parts so if you want to have it as one sentence you could use either of the above but without the comma.
Might I point out that no employer in his right mind would expect a native German-speaker to be entirely conversant with every nuance of the English language? Your English is perfectly acceptable for general communication, JS (and a lot better than that of some natives) and an intelligent man like your prospective employer will make allowances accordingly.
Good luck with your application.
JS,
HB is quite right, as always! Your first draft was entirely fit for purpose, and I would not have offered any suggestions if you had not specifically asked for them. I wish you every success with this.
Mollinary
Yes, I agree.
And good luck with your application.
Got the job. Once gain thanks to everyone for your generous help :-bd
Now I have to decipher stuff like this and then translate it into English :o 8)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6f/Feldpost_Erster_Weltbrief.jpg)
Hopefully, I'll find something more interesting than "Well, its wet in the trench and I'm hungry" in the process.
Congratulations on getting the job
Myself and the rest of us will choose which Pendraken figures we want now
That was the arrangement wasnt it?
Many congratulations! Brilliant news! 8)
Excellent news, congratulations!
I'll look forward to hearing about all the interesting things you find!
8)
Well done! =D> =D>I am sure it will be an exciting and interesting experience. Keep us informed as to how it goes.
Mollinary
Well done.
I wouldn't worry about this card though, the post mark is 22 Jan 15. It won't be posted for over a year.
Quote from: fsn on 10 December 2013, 09:07:32 PM
Well done.
I wouldn't worry about this card though, the post mark is 22 Jan 15. It won't be posted for over a year.
Your mistaken FSN. It was posted in 1915, but its only just arrived. :)
By the way - Congratulation JS. :-bd
I was wondering how you got on just a couple of days ago.
Congratulations. :-bd
Congratulations.
The specimen in question is a letter of a soldier from 1915. Would need a better quality scan to actually decipher the old German letters and then translate...
Apparently Hans is telling some ine quickly something. That much I can read...
Congratulations J.S - hope the job is both interesting and fun.
Well done that man !! :-bd
Cheers - Phil.
Great news, JS. Although I don't envy you the task of deciphering that postcard! :)
Top Banana....congratulations :D
It's signed "Hans"
Does that help? :D
thank you guys :) the postcard isn't that special..actually this Hans just told his brother that he's stuck it some village with his regiment and that's it. The real work starts in january, so hopefuly there's more than that in the rest of the documents ;D
Well done on getting the job and look forward to any updates you can share with us :).