I have finally discovered how to do it, reliably and irresistably. Today I was playing my Chinese (one of history's losers, by general consent) against the Japanese invasion, an army with very sharp teeth at the time of the Korean war. The enemy player was the most dangerous opponent I have in this town; and I wiped the floor with him, breaking all three Japanese commands.
How to do it? Just roll an amazing number of sixes in combat. Now that I know, world title, here I come!
how do you cope with the fact that dice hate humans ?
Curse you, Earthling! You've blown my cover. When the mothership arrives, I shall personally attend to your elimination.
be warned - i get a 2+ saving throw
I am reminded of a recent converstion
Club Know it all, "I wouldn't do that, I'd flank march and attack his flank!"
Me, "I tried that and rolled a 10"
half an hour later
Club know all "Why haven't you attacked that flank?"
Me "I rolled another ten then a double 6 for a fumble!"
An hour later
Club know it all,"you lost because you ignored his flank"
>:( >:( >:(
I thought the secret to winning was to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. :D :D :D
Quote from: Maenoferren on 24 January 2012, 10:47:53 PM
I thought the secret to winning was to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. :D :D :D
No it's "cheating"......... apparently, I just call it lucky dice!
It works for me most of the time.
Graham
Quote from: DanJ on 24 January 2012, 04:18:02 PM
I am reminded of a recent converstion
Club Know it all, "I wouldn't do that, I'd flank march and attack his flank!"
Me, "I tried that and rolled a 10"
half an hour later
Club know all "Why haven't you attacked that flank?"
Me "I rolled another ten then a double 6 for a fumble!"
An hour later
Club know it all,"you lost because you ignored his flank"
>:( >:( >:(
Have you considered a pointy stick? A liberal application of jabs and pokes in the general direction of the aforementioned gobshites eye generally brings about much merriment ;)
Other than that I also find the sentence *Go f*** yourself knobhead* has pretty much the same effect :D
The last person that did something like that to me, I just spent the next week flirting with his wife.
He's not spoken to me since.
I'd say I rolled a natural 6 on that one ;)
good tactic but i suspect those types are often wifeless (a cunning defence mechanism ?)
Quote from: goat major on 25 January 2012, 09:09:06 AM
good tactic but i suspect those types are often wifeless (a cunning defence mechanism ?)
;D ;D ;D
i always find a large hammer is very useful. Not a lot your opponent can do with battered lumps of metal!! ;)
Chad
Quote from: Chad on 25 January 2012, 09:49:07 AM
i always find a large hammer is very useful. Not a lot your opponent can do with battered lumps of metal!! ;)
Chad
I own both armies. That avenue is closed to me.
you don't have to restrict yourself to battering his metal lumps...
=O
Ah the joys of the club know-it-all. I don't miss these types at all now that I game at home. I'd forgotten how annoying they were until mentioned above.
Hang on a minute though...the club know-it-all was right... :-B =O
what is this "winning" you speak of? i've heard rumours of it, but never experienced it myself!
:-\
I'm about to market my special winning dice - they are marked with two sixes, two fives and two fours. Simples! :-B
Happily "Mr Know it all" doesn't, he knows rules and how to best play them but has no concept of history, troops are just random stats. This sometimes leads him to come unstuck...
Last week he was given command of some Germans in a late 1944 game, his forces included a unit of Flak 37 AA guns. Not wanting to be bothered with pidling 37mm AA guns when he did his set up map he put them in an out of the way corner.
Just after the game started I walked over look at the maps, looked at the table and asked "Why have you put your 88 battery in that corner?" Gosh how I laughed ;D ;D ;D
What was realy good was the game organiser also knew what he'd done and wouldn't let him re-organise. :D He was told to go away and read some history ;D
Little as I like moderns, I did rather enjoy a game in which a know-it-all knew that cavalry weren't dangerous on a 1943 battlefield, and so didn't trouble to defend himself against them.
My favourite of the club annoying person (cap) disaster was during a Napoleonic campaign.
The cap was running British and a frigate action was taking place in a North African harbour. French against British.
The cap was getting on everyone’s nerves with bombast about his luck, French don’t stand a chance, are you going to bother etc….
Anyhow the duel took place and we used computer moderated rules where you put in your actions and the computer tells you what happens, excellent for naval games. The French put up a plucky fight but were eventually beaten down and a fire started on their ship. At this point the cap said he would grapple and board, put out the fire and claim the frigate as a prize. (Much rolling of eyes)
During the grapple move the computer decided that the fire had reached the powder magazine so the French ship immediately blew up and sunk and so did the British frigate.
I have never seen so many people with tears in their eyes thru laughing.
;D =O
Nice one :D did he learn anything from it?
Quote from: Kiwidave on 26 January 2012, 08:31:27 PM
Nice one :D did he learn anything from it?
No, the cap can take all off the embarrasment and defeat you wish to heap on him and the following week will appear exactly the same.
it is a rule in life that stupid people are often overconfident and cocky, whereas intelligent people are self-questioning and modest. I know this is correct because I am never wrong.
Quote from: DanJ on 26 January 2012, 12:29:01 PM
Happily "Mr Know it all" doesn't, he knows rules and how to best play them but has no concept of history, troops are just random stats. This sometimes leads him to come unstuck...
Ah but there's a difference between a 'know it all' and a 'rules lawyer'.