I Was Home Schooled

[Chad]

Most of us were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL  DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My father taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."

14.. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My father taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"

[Subedai]

 


Very good. I can relate to most of them. Makes you wonder how we managed to survive childhood with all those mixed messages.

[skywalker]

 
So true, I can hear my dear departed mum saying a lot of those

[Steve J]

 

I heard most, if not all of these, from my parents and I dare say I've used them as well. Brilliant.

[Ace of Spades]

Gee, was I Lucky my parents didn't speak English!

Cheers,
Rob

[FierceKitty]

Gee, was I Lucky my parents didn't speak English!

Cheers,
Rob

It sounds as if we had the same mother!

[Ace of Spades]

It sounds as if we had the same mother!

Come to think of it; she did mention you once I believe...?

Cheers,
Rob

[Hertsblue]

Come on - there must be Dutch equivalents. 

[Ace of Spades]

Virtually every single one when translated to be honest... and indeed I've had most of them being hurled at me too at one time or another
I must say that it made me much more awara of what I'm telling my kids! When I ask them do or don't do something specific their answer is normally 'so what, who cares?' I can always reply by saying 'Well apparently you don't but I do so I suggest we do it my way!' Then I start counting backwards from three...

Cheers,
Rob

[conster]

Why did i hear them in an Irish accent  in my head

[sebigboss79]

Went to the same school as me apparently