Blather, Waffle and Poppycock!

[lowlylowlycook]

I'm trying to get my mom to use a cane to help with her balance  but I do worry about her leaving it places since she doesn't need exactly need it.

[sunjester]

It can get worse. We visited my brother-in-law at Christmas and the aged parents came over on Christmas Day. My mother-in-law came into the front room (admittedly she hadn't seen me for a while) and said "Hello, I think I should know you but I'm not sure".
I explained I was married to her daughter (for the past 35 years but who's counting). I had to leave the room for a few minutes and when I returned she said "Hello, do I know you?"
At this point my nephew left the room choking, as he passed me by he muttered "Well that was a good start!".

Christmas day went downhill from there, my father-in-law didn't speak to me at all, but by the time the meal was over he was just mumbling "I don't know who all these people are".

When we went over to see them on Boxing Day they had no memory of the the Christmas dinner the day before!

[Techno]

Blimey, Techno!
Good job you got to her.

As I mentioned before.....It was really lucky I heard her, Nobby....I couldn't tell what the sound was originally, or exactly where it was coming from. For a couple of seconds I though there was a cat outside having a 'barny' with another cat.....Then realised it was coming from the annexe.

The ambulance folk were superb as always. The 'worst' part of that, was having to sit waiting in the ambulance for a couple of hours. It was so busy in A&E there wasn't any room for Mum's stretcher to even be put in the corridor. Apparently a Monday is one of the worst, if not THE worst, day for delays.

"Is this fairly normal, then ?......How much of your shift, are you spending sitting outside an A&E ?"

"Well, we do a 12 hour shift...6:30 to 18:30.....and we just have to accept that we'll spend half of that time, having to wait to get a patient into A&E."
(Jaw drops !)

Anyway, having got Mum into A&E, and as settled as poss, we had no other option but to come home, as there were SO many things that simply HAD to be sorted out yesterday...Yes...we did feel guilty doing that, but at that time Mum was fairly well doped up on morphine and didn't really know we were there....There was nothing we could do.....And she was in the right place to be taken care of.

Von tried to ring to A&E about 6 in the evening...But they were still so busy, no-one would/could pick up the phone, so she left it until 9 to phone again....Then found out that Mum had fractured her left humerus.

In one respect, that's a small blessing, as that arm's got a big problem with the shoulder joint already, and she barely uses it. If it had been the right arm she would have had enormous problems for ages, even in sing the Zimmer-frame. Obviously we'd rather she hadn't broken anything !!

At least she's in the right place, as I mentioned earlier.

Peter.....So glad your Mum was OK....I would say Von's Mum managed with a walking stick fairly well, for a few years after she broke her hip...(That was 9 years ago)..Then it was apparent that a stick simply wasn't sufficient. A lot of the time she had to use a wall on the other side as a prop.

It took AGES to get her to use the Zimmer.....("I'm not using that !.....Only OLD people use those." ).....Nowadays, she knows she couldn't possibly manage without it..and even sings its praises !
I seem to remember that we ended up actually taking the stick away, so she had no option but to use the zimmer.

SJ....So FAR I don't have the same problem with Mum...Though I often get greeted with "Who are you?"....Which I'm 99.9% sure is in jest. Stroll on, she's known me for about 45 years now, and I see her anything up to a dozen times a day. Though when I take her 'tea' in, she sometimes seems to have a problem remembering my name for a few seconds.

Cookie.... I'd keep encouraging her to use the stick !...If her balance isn't brilliant......

Cheers - Phil

[fsn]

Techno: have a virtual and manly hug.

Just remember what my old Granny used to say - "bu**er off out my way, I need a gin." 

She also used to say "'smile' they said 'it could be worse'. So I did and it was."*

Take care.



*On reflection, that may not be as supportive as I originally intended.

[Orcs]

Sorry to hear your having a tough time Phil. The hospital is the best place for her at the mo. If they keep her in for a day or two perhaps you can both catch up a bit and have a proper sleep.

[Techno]

Thanks for the hugs, Nobby !

Mark.....(Orcs).....Definitely...She's in the very best place. (Though she's still 'stuck' in Accident & Emergency.... at 10:30, this morning...There is no room, at the Inn.)

I think we both had some sort of decent sleep last night.....But my brain is still so addled, I keep thinking I need to go and see her at the 'norma'l times.

I was going to make her  her 'tea', last night....When I realised she wasn't in there, 'next door'.......And I thought (early this morning)...Why's the TV not on ?...."Oh Yeah... I remember"

Cheers - Phil

[Westmarcher]

Sorry to read that, Phil. All the best. It seems the older they get, the more they need looking after like children again. We got the Zimmer comment from ours too, btw.  

My late in-laws were as deaf as posts. I got involved in their care towards the end so would see how they lived their lives. One would ask a fairly innocuous civil question, the other one wouldn't quite hear, ask a question back on a slightly unrelated subject, get an answer to a different question .... anyway, before you knew it there was a full blown argument and it would all have started over something innocent like, "What time is it?"    

We rented a 'safety button' for my father-in-law, which he was to wear at all times, the idea being if he fell (again) and she couldn't help/raise the alarm (e.g., fast sleep in bed without hearing aids on, etc.) and he couldn't reach the phone, he could press the safety button . This would then activate an alarm in a dedicated call centre who would talk to him through a speaker installed at the foot of the stairs in the house and, if appropriate, alert us or an ambulance or health worker to go round to the house. Of course, after installing this following a spate of falls, he didn't fall again for ages. He eventually got fed up with this 'safety button' dangling around his neck and started to take it off (brilliant - "I can now fall in the kitchen and all I have to do is crawl to wherever I left the button."). Months later one of them asked the other if he/she could hear a mysterious voice. The other one agreed but they couldn't quite figure out if they were hearing things or what. Eventually a nurse appeared at the door and finding out they were both OK, walked to the speaker, spoke to 'the voice' at the other end and reset it. Yes, they had totally forgotten they had this speaker in the house! We reckon Dad took off the button while seated on the sofa, sat on it and both being so deaf, were unaware it was the call handler's voice they had been hearing all along!    

They also used to get Community Meals ("Meals on Wheels") delivered. Twice a day, every day, my father-in-law would sit in his chair, looking out of the window, waiting for the arrival of their meals which would be delivered more or less at the same time every day. One day, it being 2pm, and the delivery well overdue, he reluctantly concluded there would be no lunch delivered that day. So, off he then went into the kitchen to open a tin a soup for them. There, on the work top, was their meals. He had been waiting so long that he had needed to go to the bathroom. While he was away, the Meals on Wheels guy had come in with the meals, spoke to the MIL, left the meals and gone back out the door again. Her, having dementia, had then totally forgotten the delivery had happened and he, unaware of this, had returned to his post to gaze down the street again!    

[Orcs]

My brother was full time carer to my parents going round at several times a day. One afternoon he went round to give them tea, to get an earful from DAD.  " I have been trying to call you all afternoon , this phone is not working properly you need to take a look at it,

My Brother asked him what the problem with the phone was. Dad said "I can't get a dial tome Look!".  He then picked up the TV remote presses a button and put it to his ear saying "you probably need to report the line" 

[Techno]

Davy (Westiie) That's far too close for the truth, as to what we're dealing with, at the mo'.
Yep....It's back to childhood again....Mum was asking a number of times yesterday...."Where's Teddy ?"...Back at home, Mum.

Mark (Orcs).....P**p ..I pick up one of the telephone handsets, and try and change channels on the TV in the kitchen.....I'm so frigging stressed.

Apparently...Mum's still in A&E, rather than a ward, as I type.

Von's just fielded a call from the hospital...trying to get us to have her Mum back here...as soon as .....NOPE !
She'll just fall over again.

We'll get it sorted....Eventually.

Cheers - Phil

[Ithoriel]

Before they went into residential care, I used to visit my parents 3 - 4 times a week to bring shopping and make sure they got at least some hot meals.

4 hour round trip on days where things ran on time. Home - taxi - Tesco - taxi - bus - bus - theirs - bus - bus - taxi - home.

Sometimes I'd stay over for a night or three if they seemed to be struggling more than usual.

One day, helping Dad to dress, I found a substantial amount of cash squirrelled away in a drawer and agreed with him that I should take it and pay it into his bank.

Couple of days later I went across for the day. In the wee small hours of the night, there was a ring on the door bell, followed shortly by bang, bang, bang on the door.

Two police officers had been sent to check on me because Dad had been found in his front garden calling my name, convinced I had been staying over and had been abducted from the house! When they asked if anything else was missing he'd checked his "emergency fund" and found it missing.

Fortunately, all was swiftly sorted out.

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Hugs all

[pierre the shy]

I really hope it all works out for you Techno, this sort of thing is never easy for anyone.

I am going up to see my mother in a couple of weeks......not sure how she will be.

Last time I went up I got to her apartment building and buzzed her to let me in the front door, which she did, but when she opened her own door she just looked blankly at me for a moment and asked "who are you? 

As someone at work said to me recently "be nice to your kids, they choose your retirement village" 

[Techno]

Thanks, Will. 

Mike....That is SO interesting about your Dad 'hiding' cash.
When my dear old Dad died, a good few years ago now.......Mum had a really good old clean out.

SHE found Fivers & Tenners secreted between the pages of various books, throughout their bungalow.
Not a fortune.....But I think between £100 & £200.....(Worth having, tho' !)

(Wish I had a secret stash that I'd forgotten about !)

Peter..... That's very sad.

It's the 'bookcase syndrome'.......Where your most recent memories 'are contained' in the books on the top shelf of an imaginary bookcase.
The 'books ' fall over....Starting on the top shelf......And that means those memories are gone forever...You can never put those books back up.

Von's Mum is still bloody good at mental arithmatic....She still remembers pushing model planes around the map of the British Isles during WWII...But ask her what the date is now...or expect her to remember what she just asked, half a minute ago....and she's gone.

Cheers - Phil

[Orcs]

On one occasion having spent the day listening to Mum repeat herself completely oblivious to who I was. She saw me to the door as I was leaving and all of a sudden "the lights came on". She realised which of her six sons I was and then preceded to tell me off for "living in sin" with Mrs Orcs, then the lights went out again. 

My Dad heard it all from his bed and nearly wet himself, as this was the only time she had been with it all day and she used it to tell me off. 

[Techno]

Oh, Mark ! 

Cheers - Phil