Forum barfight

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Lol

[Ithoriel]

"Went to see" = "delivered discreetly in plain package"

For goodness sake! Don't you know this is the Century of the Fruitbat! Performed by the tiny demons the wizard Jobs trapped within his iPod!

[Hertsblue]

I thought it was a review of garden structures - Fifty Sheds of Grey.

[Ithoriel]

Written by Jabba the Shed?

[getagrip]

No, Pizza the Hut

[Westmarcher]

  (Hoe, hoe, hoe)

[getagrip]

  (Hoe, hoe, hoe)

What a tool

[Techno]

Coat time !

[fsn]

I'm so nervous about the competition, I need a drink.

What's this sign? "You can drink from my slipper"?

I'm not falling for that one again. Last time I thought he said the slipper belonged to "Milday", but he actually said "mmm ... Lemmey".

Took me ages to get the taste of corn plaster out my mouth, and the policeman didn't believe me when I said it was athlete's foot powder round my nose. Suppose I should have guessed when it was a size 11. Either that or because it was shaped as Homer Simpson. In my defence, I've never had a good look at Milady's feet - obviously because she's always in a ball gown - and Lemmey's slingbacks are quite deceptive.

This time it's one of Techno's slippers. That'll probably be some sort of old Croc (make your own jokes up) with unidentified equine substances on the sole. He'll be  slopping around a soggy field with one bare foot. Probably thinks it's some kind of living archaeology, though it's doubtless still de rigeur in the backend of the backend of Wales in which he lives.

Think I'll pass on the slipper. What's the guest beer? Fierce Kitty's Bitter. Oh ... that's not the guest beer ... that's just a statement of fact. Is that the guest beer there? Fenton's Firkin! Is that just a statement? ... no? I think I'll pass anyway. The name just puts images in my mind I don't want there.

Perhaps I'll just have a glass of wine. The house white today is ... Ouestmarcheur Pap du Slop, 2015. Should it have that many cobwebs on it when it's so young? Wonder where it's been? Let's see the description ... "fruity, cheeky with a hint of rhubarb. Should be laid down  ... for a long time. A really long time." Not really selling it to me.

What's this? Cocktail of the day? A White Russian?

That's for me!

 

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Strange no one ever orders Red Russians...

Can you sling my slingback back please, Techno's Guinness is hell to scrape out, especially when he's been mucking out with them.

Size 9, wide fitting btw! 💃

[fsn]

You're not going to wear silver slingbacks with those brown socks are you?

[getagrip]

You're not going to wear silver slingbacks with those brown socks are you?

He's got to, his sandles are worn out.

[fsn]

Hang on - that's not socks! You been pressing beer again Lemmey?

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Nah, it's the residue of the aforementioned Guinness!

[Last Hussar]

Bar-keep - Make me a Red Russian.

[getagrip]

Bar-keep - Make me a Red Russian.

Your what?

[Westmarcher]

 

Black Russian springs to mind ....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5A55eWbiBI

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

Bar-keep - Make me a Red Russian.

Which version?
"A Red Russian is a cocktail named for its red color. A Red Russian is usually made up of equal parts Vodka and either cherry liqueur or strawberry schnapps. It has also been prepared with tomato or cranberry juice. In the former Soviet Union during World War II, it was sometimes prepared with boiled cow blood. While traditionally served over ice, it can be served warm."

[Last Hussar]

Strawberry Schnapps version.  What kind of brute drinks tomato juice?

[FierceKitty]

I love the stuff!