Shakespearean insult generator

[goat major]

For all the  Fawning onion-eyed varlots out there 

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?

[fred.]

Why, thou warped bat-fowling mumble-news!

[Ben Waterhouse]

Hence rotten thing! Or I shall shake thy bones out of thy garments.

[Techno]

Thou crusty botch of nature !
(I like this link ! )
Cheers - Phil.

[Duke Speedy of Leighton]

If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases.

Love it! 

[Ferb]

"Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon! "

Now I understand why Shakespeare is thought of as the greatest writer in the English language.

[Sandinista]

I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you moldy rogue, away!

I will use that next time my opponent saves all his hits 

[Hertsblue]

Thou gorbellied earth-vexing giglet!

Dunnon what it means, but he sure means business. 

[nikharwood]

Thou mammering rough-hewn bugbear!

Like it...

[mollinary]

This could become addictive:  combining two is fun as well

Drop into the rotten mouth of death, Idol of idiot-worshippers!

Mollinary

[mijalo]

Thou fusty clapper-clawed clack-dish!

[lentulus]

... mammering rough-hewn bugbear!

Is this the fantasy requests forum?

[Techno]

This could become addictive: 
Mollinary

I reckon you're right M...This link's a belter !
Cheers - Phil.

[Leon]

 

"Thou paunchy malmsey-nosed bum-bailey!"

"Thou spongy whoreson varlot!"

"Truly thou art damned, like an ill-roasted egg, all on one side."

[Luddite]

Are we quoting what comes up?  OK...i got:

You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe!



Personally i've always rather liked Flastaff's monologue in Act II of Henry V, where he lists his faults, knowing that he is bad company, and implores Prince Harry not to forsake him when he becomes king:

If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the wicked.
If to be old and merry be a sin, then many an old host that I know is damned.
If to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh’s lean kine are to be loved.
No, my good lord, banish Peto, banish Bardolph, banish Poins, but for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff, valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore more valiant being, as he is,    old Jack Falstaff,
Banish not him from thy Harry’s company.
Banish plump Jack, and banish all the world.

I've always rather identified with that.   

[Chad]

Nosher

In a modern version Falstaff's speech could quite easily be followed by:

'Know what I mean, 'Arry?'

[mollinary]

Chad,

Modern??  How long ago is it since the great Harry Carpenter ( R.I.P) stopped commenting on boxing??

I think we may be of a certain generation, but it ain't modern no more, mate!

Mollinary

[Last Hussar]

Romeo and Juliet And 'Arry, with Big Frank as Juliet was from Comic Relief - so '84ish

Gosh, I feel old.

[Fenton]

Would there be an aside from the stage of ' Brut...Splash it all over!'

[mollinary]

Gordon Bennett!  Is there anyone under 50 on this forum?

Mollinary