Things I learned from watching American films

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

There is a very simple answer - who won the Napoleonic, French Indian and countless other wars, it werna the French, but they claim that Napoleon was the World's greatest general. 

[mollinary]

Actually - I don't know how Ian will distort this - I think the French got as undeniably important as they are by doing nothing best, but everything well.

Outrageous! Suggesting the French are better at doing nothing than anyone else............ I'll have you know I have spent an entire career earning that title!

[FierceKitty]

Vous etes un vrai grenouille, m'sieur!

(Any real French speakers, forgive me; I've never really learned your lingo.)

[flamingpig0]

Having sex in abandoned mental hospitals generally leads to bad things happening

[FierceKitty]

Something I have learned from watching German movies:

* There was no German history before 1937.

[FierceKitty]

Things I have learned from watching Swedish movies:

* Swedish cinema exists to push up the suicide rate of the rest of the world until it matches that of Sweden.
* Other Swedish cinema exists to demonstrate that it is physically possible to ***** **** ***** ** * **** even if you *** ***** ********* or for that matter *********. But it's important to get the goat's consent first.

[ronan]

Having sex in abandoned mental hospitals generally leads to bad things happening

Excuse me..?  Did you wrote this about the main topic or about our french way of life ??

[flamingpig0]

Excuse me..?  Did you wrote this about the main topic or about our french way of life ??

I have a feeling it might be universally applicable

[Heedless Horseman]

A teen computer hacker/genius can do ANYTHING in 2 minutes...so why bother with al the other stuff?      

[fsn]

There are many local, state and federal agencies involved in police work usually known by three letter acronyms. They just seem to interfere with each other and at least one is evil.

A good clue is that if it is run by one of the Baldwin brothers, then it is definitely evil. 

[fsn]

If your best friend dies and you don't see the body, then they're not really dead, but they are orchestrating the mischief that you're getting blamed for.

[Techno]

Has anyone said.......Two dozen 'baddies'......armed  with SMGs can't hit the hero....
Who happens to only be armed with a 'pistol'.......but, yet he still survives.......and the baddies end up as worm meat ?

Cheers - Phil

[fsn]

Good point.

Have you noticed that someone always shouts "RPG" before one is launched, giving the heroes plenty time to dive out of the way?

[FierceKitty]

Japanese cinema:
*  Japanese people communicate in staccato strings of monosyllables, or with a single Hai!.
*   Kimonos never get dirty.
*   Every second man in Japan was Mifune Toshiro.
*   In one of the most militarised societies in history, combat was either a chaotic skirmish, or a massed affair where "advance" and "retreat" were the only orders.
*   Muskets never missed.
*   With masses of Japanese literature to draw on, good Japanese movies rely on Shakespeare and Clint Eastwood.
*   With the advent of colour, it became the overriding concern of every Japanese director to show the world that Japanese people liked cats and that Japanese teenagers fell in love.
*   In a world containing animation, the Japanese will not face the fact that what was ground-breaking fifty years ago has been hopelessly left behind by the Americans.
*   All Japanese ghosts need a hairdresser (OK, this has been around longer than photography).

[steve_holmes_11]

Japanese cinema:
*  Japanese people communicate in staccato strings of monosyllables, or with a single Hai!.
*   Kimonos never get dirty.
*   Every second man in Japan was Mifune Toshiro.
*   In one of the most militarised societies in history, combat was either a chaotic skirmish, or a massed affair where "advance" and "retreat" were the only orders.
*   Muskets never missed.
*   With masses of Japanese literature to draw on, good Japanese movies rely on Shakespeare and Clint Eastwood.
*   With the advent of colour, it became the overriding concern of every Japanese director to show the world that Japanese people liked cats and that Japanese teenagers fell in love.
*   In a world containing animation, the Japanese will not face the fact that what was ground-breaking fifty years ago has been hopelessly left behind by the Americans.
*   All Japanese ghosts need a hairdresser (OK, this has been around longer than photography).

Not to mention that Japanese female education is centred around boarding schools located on giant aircraft carriers.
The carriers house the school, an otherwise unpopulated neighbouring town (See also Harry Potter), some countryside and an abandoned industrial complex containing abandoned WW2 tanks.
The only passtime permitted at school is Tank fighting.
The Volleyball team never play volleyball.