History Jokes

[Westmarcher]

ok ... back to history jokes ...

Teacher (Getagrip): Would Westmarcher (that's me. Matron's pet  ) be able to tell us what Napoleon's nationality was?

Pupil: 'Course he can! 

 

[Westmarcher]

A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers.

"Five beers, please."

Another Roman walks into the bar. "I'll have a martinus, please."

"Don't you mean a martini?" said the barman.

"No, I just want the one."

..... I'll get my cloak ......

[Techno]

Oh.....The temptation to click on the 'Lock' button.
Cheers - Phil.

[getagrip]

A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers.

"Five beers, please."

Another Roman walks into the bar. "I'll have a martinus, please."

"Don't you mean a martini?" said the barman.

"No, I just want the one."

..... I'll get my cloak ......

I like that; highbrow idiocy

EDIT: Quote fixed.

[Vamboozle]

Surprised no one has cracked the following:

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleevies. 

[Vamboozle]

How about:

Who supplied the half time orange segments at the battle of Naseby?

Prince Rupert of the Rind.

[getagrip]

Don't get married in Spring :

Beware the brides of March!

[Vamboozle]

Why couldn't Vice-Admiral François-Paul Brueys d'Aigalliers believe Nelson had beaten him?

He was in denial.   

[mollinary]

The Soviet Union. Moscow. Two in the morning.

A series of loud knocks on the door of the Security Chief of the Soviet Union, second only to Marshall Stalin.

Who is there?  What do you want? Do you know who lives here?

My name is not important.  I come to seize Beria, not to praise him!

Mollinary

[Techno]

I give up ! 
Cheers - Phil 

[getagrip]

I give up ! 
Cheers - Phil 

Good,  get back to the Dark Elves 

[FierceKitty]

How about:

Who supplied the half time orange segments at the battle of Naseby?

Prince Rupert of the Rind.

Please go away and don't come back, sir.

[Leman]

Near Hastings, 1066. King Harold is reviewing the skills of the Saxon warriors. The slingers are incredibly accurate and the javelinmen hit the target every time. However one of the archers is absolutely hopeless. Harold turns to his right-hand-man and says, "Slingers and javelinmen are great, but watch that archer closely; he'll have someone's eye out!"

[getagrip]

Near Hastings, 1066. King Harold is reviewing the skills of the Saxon warriors. The slingers are incredibly accurate and the javelinmen hit the target every time. However one of the archers is absolutely hopeless. Harold turns to his right-hand-man and says, "Slingers and javelinmen are great, but watch that archer closely; he'll have someone's eye out!"

Never saw that coming

[Fenton]

.