Flanders, Swan and how nations see each other

Started by Ithoriel, 03 October 2013, 10:19:53 PM

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Ithoriel

The current thread about how nations see and treat each other brought back childhood memories of this tongue-in-cheek piece from Flanders and Swan

The English
(Flanders & Swan)

The rottenest bits of these islands of ours
We've left in the hands of three unfriendly powers
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot
You'll find he's a stinker as likely as not

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

The Scotsman is mean as we're all well aware
He's boney and blotchy and covered with hair
He eats salted porridge, he works all the day
And hasn't got bishops to show him the way

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

The Irishman now our contempt is beneath
He sleeps in his boots and he lies through his teeth
He blows up policemen or so I have heard
And blames it on Cromwell and William the Third

     The English are moral the English are good
     And clever and modest and misunderstood

The Welshman's dishonest, he cheats when he can
He's little and dark more like monkey than man
He works underground with a lamp on his hat
And sings far too loud, far too often and flat

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

And crossing the channel one cannot say much
For the French or the Spanish, the Danish or Dutch
The Germans are German, the Russians are red
And the Greeks and Italians eat garlic in bed

     The English are noble, the English are nice
     And worth any other at double the price

And all the world over each nation's the same
They've simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they've won
And they practice before hand which spoils all the fun

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest

It's not that they're wicked or naturally bad
It's just that they're foreign that makes them so mad
The English are all that a nation should be
And the pride of the English are Chipper and me

     The English the English the English are best
     I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest
There are 100 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who can work from incomplete data

Orcs

Is that tongue in cheek????

I thought it was all true, thats what the Daily Mail said  ;D ;D

The cynics are right nine times out of ten. -Mencken, H. L.

Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. - Robert Louis Stevenson

fsn

Well the Englisg would say that it is tongue in cheek, but it's really the way they think.  :P
Lord Oik of Runcorn (You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

Oik of the Year 2013, 2014; Prize for originality and 'having a go, bless him', 2015
3 votes in the 2016 Painting Competition!; 2017-2019 The Wilderness years
Oik of the Year 2020; 7 votes in the 2021 Painting Competition
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2023 - the year of Gerald:
2024 Painting Competition - Runner-Up!

Ace of Spades

Well you can say what you want about the English, at least they've got a sense of humour if nothing else :D

Cheers,
Rob
;)
2014 Painting Competition - Runner-Up!