Australian Ventriloquist

[Orcs]

An Australian ventriloquist visitingNew Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to a local ,
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Kiwi (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements..'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f****n liar.

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Thats utterly terrible !!!       

[FierceKitty]

It's the third time it's been posted here. 

[Orcs]

It's the third time it's been posted here. 

Possibly, it was on my work emails from over a decade ago.

[rct75001]

Contains everything we Australians think of Kiwis

[Heedless Horseman]

Texan:
"Just Why is my Hat so Big? Waal... It keeps my head cool in the sun. It keeps my head dry in the rain. I can water my horse with it... and my Ladyfriends ain't complainin'!"   

[pierre the shy]

Aussie parody of Kiwi "100% Pure" tourism campaign from early 2000's.....