The Monks Secret.

[Orcs]

 
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night ?
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
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The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some yea! rs later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.
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The monks gain accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.
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That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
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The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
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The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
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The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.
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The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
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The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.
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The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door.
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The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, Real funny. May I have the key?
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The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
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Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door.
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The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,....
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>.......silver, topaz, and amethyst.
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Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door.
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The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
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 . . . But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
.

[Techno II]

  Should have seen that coming.

Mark...you're an OIK !

Cheers - Phil

[mmcv]

He realised the sound he'd been hearing was just people opening all those weird doors, the last door led him back to the corridor with the first door.

[Ithoriel]

A young man joins an order of very strict Trappist monks. So strict that novices may only speak to the Abbot and even then they may only do it once a year, on the anniversary of becoming a novice. They may only speak two words. Novices become monks after five years.

On the first anniversary the young man says,"Bed hard." By the time he gets back to his cell there is a softer mattress on his bed.

On the second anniversary the young man says,"Porridge cold." By the time he gets to breakfast next morning his porridge is beautifully warm.

On the third anniversary the young man says,"Habit itchy." By the time he gets back to his cell there is a new habit, soft and cosy, waiting for him.

On the fourth anniversary the young man says,"Cell dark." By the time he gets back to his cell there is a large, bright candle by his bed.

On the fifth anniversary the young man says,"I quit!!"

"Thank the Lord for that!" exclaims the Abbot,"You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"