Elephants

[Ithoriel]

Mammoth are orange-brown and hairy 

Actually, mammoths had the same range of hair colours as humans do. Though I believe female mammoths had less of a tendency to die their hair blonde, aubergine or teal

[O Dinas Powys]

Actually, mammoths had the same range of hair colours as humans do. Though I believe female mammoths had less of a tendency to die their hair blonde, aubergine or teal

I believe there is some evidence of a worrying trend towards dip-died pink tips towards the end of the last ice-age 

Of course, I completely forgot about all the non-hairy mammoth species!  I'm off to hand in my pleistocene zoologist accreditations! 

[sean66]

I know female elephants like to colour their toe nails red.   
easier to hide in cherry trees 
regards
Sean

[Ithoriel]

I know female elephants like to colour their toe nails red.   
easier to hide in cherry trees 
regards
Sean

They also paint the soles of their feet yellow so they can hide upside down in bowls of custard.

[Techno]

 

Next 'joke' from that era will be getting his (or her) coat chewed by Nobby.

Cheers - Phil 

[Ithoriel]

Next 'joke' from that era will be getting his (or her) coat chewed by Nobby.

Cheers - Phil 

Perhaps he'd like some butter with that .... wait! .... there are footprints in it!!!

[Orcs]

I know female elephants like to colour their toe nails red.   
easier to hide in cherry trees 
regards
Sean

Q - Whats the loudest noise in the jungle?

A- Girraffes eating cherries


Here Nobby - chew my coat

[sean66]

Q - Whats the loudest noise in the jungle?

A- Girraffes eating cherries


Here Nobby - chew my coat

or even locals picking low hanging Fruit !!!!!
its OK Nobby I've chewed my own coat to save you the trouble
regard
Sean

[Techno]

Gimme strength ! 

Stop it.... or I'll join in with all the so called 'jokes' that were around, when I was about 13.

Cheers - Phil

[fred.]

Stop it.... or I'll join in with all the so called 'jokes' that were around, when I was about 13.

Will you be providing translations from Olde English?

[Lord Kermit of Birkenhead]

Gimme strength ! 

Stop it.... or I'll join in with all the so called 'jokes' that were around, when I was about 13.

They woukld be carved on stone tablets and writ in cuneform would they Phil ? 

[Techno]

Go away ! ....That's the polite version.

It's reminded me FAR too much of all the appallingly cr*p 'jokes' from well over 50 years ago.

Oh...sod it !

What's yellow, with black spots, and is very dangerous ?....Shark infested custard.
How do hefferumps get down from a tree......They sit on a leaf, and wait until Autumn.....

(There was one about a blackbird in a tree with a machine gun......amongst all the the others......I can remember dozens)

Now b*gger off !

Cheers - The Ancient One

[Ithoriel]

Q: How do elephants climb trees?
A: They stand on an acorn and wait.
Q: How do they get back down?
A: They stand on a leaf and wait 'til autumn?

Q: What's black, dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A crow with a machine gun.

Q: What's white and lives in the Borneo jungle?
A: A merangutan

Q: What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A: A nervous wreck

Q: How many people does it take to change a light bulb in a gallery of modern art?
A: Two, one to change the bulb and one to say,"My two year old could do better!"

Q: What do you do if your car runs out of petrol next to a hive?
A: Fill it with BP

Q: What has four legs and flies?
A: A dead horse

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'm here all week

.... if I can stay ahead of the mob with the torches and pitchforks

[Steve J]

 

[Orcs]

Q: How do elephants climb trees?
A: They stand on an acorn and wait.
Q: How do they get back down?
A: They stand on a leaf and wait 'til autumn?

Q: What's black, dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A crow with a machine gun.

Q: What's white and lives in the Borneo jungle?
A: A merangutan

Q: What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A: A nervous wreck

Q: How many people does it take to change a light bulb in a gallery of modern art?
A: Two, one to change the bulb and one to say,"My two year old could do better!"

Q: What do you do if your car runs out of petrol next to a hive?
A: Fill it with BP

Q: What has four legs and flies?
A: A dead horse

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'm here all week

.... if I can stay ahead of the mob with the torches and pitchforks

That deserves more than a coat chewing..... Nobby Chew his underpants!