Forum Soapbox

Started by getagrip, 04 March 2015, 08:04:31 PM

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getagrip

Quote from: Just a few Orcs on 05 March 2015, 06:00:44 PM
I used to program TXE4 exchanges,  and before anyone asks -  I AM NOWHERE NEAR AS OLD AS TECHNO!!!

Phil's going to love the way you worded that  ;D  ;D  ;D
Buy plenty of Matron's sculpts now!

If he keeps using the chainsaw, the value of his work will soon go up.

Last Hussar

The Pendraken painting competition.
I have neither the time or the crayons to explain why you are wrong.

GNU PTerry

Techno

Quote from: getagrip on 05 March 2015, 06:09:13 PM
Phil's going to love the way you worded that  ;D  ;D  ;D

The thing is......I know how old Mark is,......and he knows how old I am.
And he's a young whippersnapper, as far as I'm concerned.  ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil

getagrip

Quote from: Techno on 05 March 2015, 06:38:43 PM
The thing is......I know how old Mark is,......and he knows how old I am.
And he's a young whippersnapper, as far as I'm concerned.  ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil

So is Methusela  :D
Buy plenty of Matron's sculpts now!

If he keeps using the chainsaw, the value of his work will soon go up.

fsn

Wasn't Techno the one who soldered the wires for that nice Mr Bell? It is well known that the first thing said over the telephone was Bell saying "come here Watson. I want you." What is less well known is that he was penned into a corner by Techno who was trying to explain the finer points of green putty to him.

Of course Techno had been sent to Bell by Edison, who hated Bell. At Edison's, Techno worked as the recording engineer. Every day he would sing into the phonograph, or perhaps recite some poetry, and in the evening, Edison would listen to the results. For years Edison tinkered with the machine, ironing out imperfections in sound quality and adjusting the speed of play back, working on removing the clicks and hisses, until someone pointed out that the recording was fine. That odd noise was just the sound Techno made.

Before that, Techno worked for Samuel Morse, and after a few years Morse sent Techno to Edison saying "I can teach this man no more." Morse hated Edison. It is well known that Morse became interested in long distance communication after he was unaware that his wife had fallen ill, and arrived only after she had died. What is less well known is that Techno was with Morse at that time, and during Morse's early attempts at creating the now famous Morse Code. As Morse slaved away, he was heard to exclaim "Dammit Techno! Will you stop tapping your fingers!" It is estimated that Techno's help added five years to the project.

Techno arrived at Morse's workshop with a letter of recommendation from Benjamin Franklin. Franklin hated Morse. Franklin described Techno as being key to his experiments. What is less well known that this meant that Franklin attached Techno to a large kite every time there was any prospect of lightning.

Techno arrived in America fresh from the laboratories of Luigi Galvani, who died shortly after Techno left his service - some say of relief. Galvani is most famous for his experiments with muscle tissue and electricity. It is well known that he accidentally touched the muscle of a frog with a scalpel that had collected a static charge, and the leg kicked. Some say his experiments were the inspiration for the Frankenstein story.

Nothing is known of Techno before his time with Galvani. 
Lord Oik of Runcorn (You may refer to me as Milord Oik)

Oik of the Year 2013, 2014; Prize for originality and 'having a go, bless him', 2015
3 votes in the 2016 Painting Competition!; 2017-2019 The Wilderness years
Oik of the Year 2020; 7 votes in the 2021 Painting Competition
11 votes in the 2022 Painting Competition (Double figures!)
2023 - the year of Gerald:
2024 Painting Competition - Runner-Up!

Techno

Just don't tell anyone I taught the 'ancients' how to electroplate.
AND I invented the first battery..

You're both horrid and mean to me  :'( :'( :'(
Cheers - Phil

getagrip

Quote from: Techno on 05 March 2015, 08:14:57 PM
Just don't tell anyone I taught the 'ancients' how to electroplate.
AND I invented the first battery..

You're both horrid and mean to me  :'( :'( :'(
Cheers - Phil

And God formed man of dust from the ground...  Genesis 2:7

Sound like the skills of anyone we know?  :D
Buy plenty of Matron's sculpts now!

If he keeps using the chainsaw, the value of his work will soon go up.

Vamboozle

05 March 2015, 08:23:42 PM #82 Last Edit: 05 March 2015, 08:25:27 PM by Vamboozle
So going back to the gist of this thread I'm going to try to keep this short (so I don't come across as one of them mad shouty blokes you cross the street to avoid) - what makes me mad....

- anyone who thinks its ok to be rude and abusive just by adding "it's only banter" at the end of a sentence - no it's not banter it's just rude and abusive.

- those news voxpops where they have someone who agrees, someone who disagrees and some who doesn't know - what's the point? It doesn't add anything

- interviewing the neighbours after a murder who always state "this sort of thing never happen around here" - of course they don't unless you live in the Bronx in the 1970s

- retired types who have all day to go in the post office but choose to go in on a weekday lunchtime. Why?

- celery
Old enough to know better

getagrip

Old people who drive during rush hour when they've had the whole freaking day to do whatever it is they do.  Then they drive 20 miles below the actual speed limit except in built up areas where they do 40!!!
Buy plenty of Matron's sculpts now!

If he keeps using the chainsaw, the value of his work will soon go up.

Vamboozle

When it snows people who drive having only cleared a letter box sized gap in the windscreen.

People who park across two spaces in a car park.

And celery.
Old enough to know better

Westmarcher

05 March 2015, 08:43:24 PM #85 Last Edit: 05 March 2015, 08:58:44 PM by Westmarcher
Quote from: getagrip on 05 March 2015, 08:17:43 PM
And God formed man of dust from the ground...  Genesis 2:7


And stuck him on ye base with ye super glue and ye baking soda. Amen.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

Fenton

People who like their own posts on Facebook

Anyone not from the Faroe Islands

People who use Twitter

Olives

That bloke who gave me a funny look at the petrol station the other day

Speakers Corner at Hyde Park

Uncooked Tomatoes

There is just so many..........
If I were creating Pendraken I wouldn't mess about with Romans and  Mongols  I would have started with Centurions , eight o'clock, Day One!

cbr3d.com

Bloody coeliac disease.

Reporters who ask politicians questions and nod at the reply (that isn't reporting that is advertising).

The smell of freshly roasted coffee - it never tastes as good as it smells.

Vegetarians who eat bacon (I know two)

Hypocrits who tell us how bad things are when they live in luxury (politicians, wannabe politicians, and idiots who think we should all listen to them because they read a book once about UFO's and corn circles)

Dog owners who don't clean up after their dog defecates in a public place (I am a dog owner)

Dog owners who allow their dogs out onto the streets unaccompanied

Finding someone has stuffed one of my brushes hair first down in my brush container

Companies who 'improve' their products - 99% of the time means making them with cheaper ingredients that means that the quality is reduced.

(This is good fun, I would imagine the post count this month will be through the roof.   :D  )

getagrip

Tomatoes really are vile in their raw state: acidic snot with bits in!

People who overtake on the motorway by drinking towards your rear bumper at 900 miles an hour!
Buy plenty of Matron's sculpts now!

If he keeps using the chainsaw, the value of his work will soon go up.

Fenton

People who like the word ' plop'


Forum threads that go on longer than they should
If I were creating Pendraken I wouldn't mess about with Romans and  Mongols  I would have started with Centurions , eight o'clock, Day One!