Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Wider Wargaming => General Discussion => Topic started by: Last Hussar on 12 December 2013, 10:10:49 AM

Title: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Last Hussar on 12 December 2013, 10:10:49 AM
Come on – something more creative than 'Unlucky Dice'

I, for instance, am blaming my ACW losses on the God of Aesthetics.

I have nice little markers for unit status – so for They Couldn't Hit an Elephant I use a dead man mounted singly on a penny for "Fightin' ", and stretcher bearers for "Defeated". Sunjester just has printed slips of paper (in different colours).

I think the God of Aesthetics wants the clutter off the table, so rarely causes a loss of status for SJ's units, while my figures add something, thus He is happy for my Morale to drop like a stone.
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: FierceKitty on 12 December 2013, 10:13:30 AM
I'm too open-minded. I can't really identify with my French (keep thinking of French soldiers using a Leonardo statue for target practice), but I can't really support the Hapsburg oppressor whole-heartedly either....I think I unconsciously want to lose.
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: slugbalancer on 12 December 2013, 10:16:19 AM
Not reading or misunderstanding the rules is the usual one for me.
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Fenton on 12 December 2013, 10:40:38 AM
the wobbly chair!

Everytime I play down at the club I always end up with the wobbly chair, so while my opponents move I am usually on the ground sticking bits of paper and soggy beer mats under one of the legs to make it stable

I am sure while I am doing this everyone of my opponents I have ever faced takes advantage of this and moves my figures, as when I stand up again my units are in a more tactically inept position than I remembered them being in before I undertook some basic DIY on the chair

Its a conspiracy you know!
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: goat major on 12 December 2013, 10:54:01 AM
my dice aren't unlucky but they do hate me. Since this has been the case with all dice for the last 35 years I am assuming there is some sort of underground dice illuminati network that decides which gamers to target and instructs junior dice accordingly.


Or it's just possible that i lose concentration at key moments (otherwise defined as - every one of my turns)
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Duke Speedy of Leighton on 12 December 2013, 11:04:56 AM
My reason at the moment is I'm so rearly out these days I've forgotten all the rules!!  :'(
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: kustenjaeger on 12 December 2013, 11:07:34 AM
Greetings

In my case it's usually incompetence ...

The blindingly obvious mistake (in hindsight), lousy deployment or just not knowing the game well enough.  

Regards

Edward
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Last Hussar on 12 December 2013, 11:31:33 AM
Quote from: goat major on 12 December 2013, 10:54:01 AM
my dice aren't unlucky but they do hate me. Since this has been the case with all dice for the last 35 years I am assuming there is some sort of underground dice illuminati network that decides which gamers to target and instructs junior dice accordingly.


I find this the most believable so far.
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: petercooman on 12 December 2013, 01:43:29 PM
I must say, i'm one of those players that doesn't lose that often.

I once won a game of bkc against my buddy, in 4 turns, with him missing every single command roll to show up except the last. He could just about see the back of my units when they left the table  ;D ;D

So, most of the time they just blame it on my luck.


Hope i haven't jinxed it!!
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Techno on 12 December 2013, 03:08:24 PM
I'm FAR too jammy with dice rolls to lose...(Oh alright....I have on very odd occasions).
But in the past, if you give me the side that's supposed to be slaughtered....I'll be the one that wins because.....
a)...My opponent's rolls are so completely AWFUL.....or
b)...You'd think I was rolling dice that were 'doctored'.....They aren't !

Cheers - Phil. (I can also pull the four aces out of a normal pack of shuffled cards if you want me to.)  :P
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Shecky on 12 December 2013, 04:05:18 PM
Ok, I'll admit it. I'm a piss poor tactician! Poor initial set up, not recognizing key fields of fire, bringing the wrong type troops to the fight, more concerned about having fun than winning >:(

That and the dice illuminati.

Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Ithoriel on 12 December 2013, 05:55:27 PM
I like multiplayer games because that way when my side wins it does so because of my skill and tactical brilliance and when it loses it does so due to bad luck and ineptitude of my allies  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Hertsblue on 12 December 2013, 06:01:19 PM
I like to umpire because:

a) I can doctor the scenario to confound people I don't like.

b) I can patronise the losers.

c) I never lose.

:d :d :d
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: mollinary on 12 December 2013, 06:16:10 PM
I'm with HB - umpiring minimises defeats nicely.  When  I play however, I think I lose because I chose my "handle" carefully to reflect the General from my favourite period who closest resembles my own leadership and personal qualities.  So I came up with General Festetics' ad latus, the plump and self opinionated General Mollinary.  Convinced of his own genius, he took his chance at Koniggratz to destroy spectacularly Benedek's only hope of victory, and then spent the following period convincing everyone else that he was right, and Benedek was wrong!   Plausible sort of chap, Mollinary!     ;D

Mollinary
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: ronan on 12 December 2013, 07:21:43 PM
I mainly lose because.. my opponents win !   ;D


Often I try strange plans ( "maskirovka") and so, they often fail.
My usual opponents are good, too. They often use their armies ar their best.

And the illuminati. ( I once throw 36 x D6 and get NO "6"   :'( )
I'm known to be unlucky.  ;)
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: howayman on 12 December 2013, 07:44:01 PM
Many, many years ago i was involved in a WRG modern 6mm game. The Russian player entered the table with a huge armoured phalanx T64s forming the outer shell and all the APCs, SPGs and AT gear in the centre. he moved on one turn. Our Fos spotted this force and brought down a HUGE amount of off board art on to it. Everything landed on target, minelet, bomblet. Then the hull down AT gear opened up and by the end of the turn 7 vehicles were left. We the British began the ritual mickey taking only to be met with one of the greatest statements ever . The Russian player said "I REFUSE TO LOSE"  no matter how much we argued that his force was dead and the game was over he just packed up his models and continued to say "I refuse to lose" He still refuses to accept that he lost that game.  
 So 35 years later, no matter how bad a game goes that classic line will be used to avoid humiliation. Try it, it annoys the hell out of the opposition. :-X
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: PatG on 13 December 2013, 02:45:32 AM
Too busy having fun pushing lead to worry about the outcome.  :D
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Orcs on 13 December 2013, 08:21:12 PM
The player commanding my allies was LH - Its all his fault  :)
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: ronan on 13 December 2013, 08:34:33 PM
I recall a "great" story
We were playing a very large Napoleonic battle, with many players ( LeManchou was here I think )
I was a french general, and our Napoleon sent me several orders ( written, on we only gave them to the players several turns after)
It was always the same order, some squares for the villages, two hills, and an arrow to move my division.
I was following his orders, the best I could, but he kept sending me the same drawings, with many  "!"    :-\

We lose the battle.  :(

Later, drinking beers, we talked, and he asked my why I didn't follow his orders. I show him the papers, and said "But I DID !"
Then he turned the papers 90°... They could be read on both ways.. My orders were to go back to the rear, not to do a flank attack !  :o
Many years after, we still recall this !  ;D
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: petercooman on 13 December 2013, 09:35:34 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: brummie76 on 13 December 2013, 10:13:29 PM
"Heads i win, tails you loose!" gets me every time!!! lol :D
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: fsn on 14 December 2013, 09:06:16 AM
As a solo gamer, I never loose ... but then again, I never win.
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: Ithoriel on 14 December 2013, 11:50:53 AM
In the little WW2 campaign I'm playing in my fellow German commander and I are adamant that we are not  retreating, we're simply advancing on Berlin :)
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: PatG on 14 December 2013, 02:45:36 PM
Oh if we are doing stories....

We were playing HotT my Irish Heroes vs my mate Marc's Epic Vikings. A base of fianna are camped out in a swamp minding their own business when some great thumping norse god comes stomping over the hills to interrupt their dinner. Now normally   Marc rolls dice like a demon but not this time. 6 for the fianna 1 for the god and Thor goes back to Valhalla screaming like a girl with his long blonde hair trailing behind him. The boys, they get get back to their drinking.
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: petercooman on 14 December 2013, 07:28:20 PM
Best way I ever one was fairly lame.

We were doing a breakout type scenario for BKCII, Where you had to get 25% troops off the opposite table edge, and that had to include 3 stands of infantry. We decided to run this game 3 times over 3 gaming nights, so each of our merry group of 3 could have a shot as the breakout force. The other Two would divide a defending force between them. Me and my buddy already had a go, The third of us being the last in the series.

HE put down his army.... he had only brought 2 stands of infantry  ;D ;D ;D ;D


Off course we are not complete Arseholes and we played the game anyway, treating his anti tank guns as infantry too.
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: ronan on 14 December 2013, 08:35:43 PM
Quote from: petercooman on 14 December 2013, 07:28:20 PM
(...)he had only brought 2 stands of infantry  ;D ;D ;D ;D

Excellent !

I could have done this...
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: GordonY on 14 December 2013, 10:03:57 PM
I seldom lose!!

There is nothing finer in this life than to defeat your enemies, drive the survivors before you and hear the lamentations of their women.

That and the fact that I usually play Mexican Dave.  :D :D
Title: Re: Best reasons you lose
Post by: PatG on 15 December 2013, 05:18:10 PM
Quote from: GordonY on 14 December 2013, 10:03:57 PM
I seldom lose!!

There is nothing finer in this life than to defeat your enemies, drive the survivors before you and hear the lamentations of their women.

That and the fact that I usually play Mexican Dave.  :D :D

Spoken by a man who has never been consistently fragged by his six year old daughter on Quake II - reflexes like a cobra on speed that one.  Never underestimate the crueler sex....