Two Londoners are sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be open new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other,
"I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Yorkshireman walked to the window,... had a peek, and in a broad Yorkshire accent asked "What's tha sellin lads' ere?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arse-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the Yorkshireman said, "Tha's doing well ..........................Only two left!"
The moral for Southerners - Don't mess with Yorkshiremen!!!
Never compare a Yorkshireman to an arsehole.
Arseholes are useful.
Quote from: Last Hussar on 06 December 2013, 07:08:15 PM
Never compare a Yorkshireman to an arsehole.
Arseholes are useful.
:-q
Many years ago some friends and i had a heated argument with a lad from Stockton who claimed he was a Yorkshireman and we said he wasn't any more.
He took it all very seriously.
Ahhh the joys of youth.
I went to Uni in Sheffield. It really hacks them off when someone who speaks as I do (standard English) decries the locals as "Southerners". When I reveal that I was born in Shetland, they have to concede.
Ahhh, As you say Mr Howayman, the joys of youth.
Quote from: Chad on 06 December 2013, 01:47:34 PM
Don't mess with Yorkshiremen!!!
They're already a mess! ;D
Quote from: Hertsblue on 07 December 2013, 08:46:39 PM
They're already a mess! ;D
To be honest, if you don't come from Yorkshire then your opinion goesn't count...
Then again, I'm from Sheffield in South Yorkshire.
So I'm not really all that fussed about North Yorkshire or West Yorkshire.
Not that keen on Rotherham. Or Barnsley, or Doncaster either.
There are many areas/postcodes in Sheff that I'm not especially taken with.
The big picture = I love my daughter, my wife's (mostly) OK and the rest of the world is just an inconveniece I have to put up with. ;) ;)
Dead Mrs/Miss/Ms Sdad, or may I call you Ellie?
Firstly, I think it's great seeing female members on the forum. We should have more.
Secondly, I concur 100% with the sentiment. =D>
Thirdly, I will say that I loved my time in Sheffiield. The locals were friendly, generous and polite. Not like Yorkshire people are supposed to be. (Btw, this is me being sincere.)
Quote from: howayman on 07 December 2013, 06:25:00 PM
Many years ago some friends and i had a heated argument with a lad from Stockton who claimed he was a Yorkshireman and we said he wasn't any more.
He took it all very seriously.
Ahhh the joys of youth.
And how right you were. Stockton, being north of the Tees was always Durham, the Tees historically being the northern border of Yorkshire. ;)
Quote from: fsn on 07 December 2013, 07:14:52 PM
I went to Uni in Sheffield. It really hacks them off when someone who speaks as I do (standard English) decries the locals as "Southerners". When I reveal that I was born in Shetland, they have to concede.
I'm from Yorkshire, my wife is from Carlisle. I still haven't got used to her calling me a southerner.
Sent from my HTC Desire X using Tapatalk
Quote from: fsn on 08 December 2013, 08:56:09 AM
Dead Mrs/Miss/Ms Sdad, or may I call you Ellie?
It just gets worse and worse !
Would someone please take fsn to the bar.....Put him down in the cellar and lock the door ? ;) :P
Cheers - Phil
Awww! Not again! It's full of broken furniture!
Many years ago my grandmother was on her death bed and mum had to fly from London to Glasgow to see her before she passed away.
At one point in the flight pilot came on the intercom and informed the passengers that they had reached thir maximum altitude of 30,000 feet and were over Yorkshire.
Mum, who claims to have spent years of her life in cars and trains traversing that county later said, "30,000 feet and 600 miles and hour, best way to see bloody Yorkshire!"
=O =O =O =O =O
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil.
Course the Welsh are even worse than Yokies - having lived in Ilkley for 4 yrs.
IanS :d :d :d :d
Ian, do y'ducks still play football?
Quote from: DanJ on 31 December 2013, 04:22:27 PM
Many years ago my grandmother was on her death bed and mum had to fly from London to Glasgow to see her before she passed away.
At one point in the flight pilot came on the intercom and informed the passengers that they had reached thir maximum altitude of 30,000 feet and were over Yorkshire.
Mum, who claims to have spent years of her life in cars and trains traversing that county later said, "30,000 feet and 600 miles and hour, best way to see bloody Yorkshire!"
Hmm not quite sky high and 6000 miles away. . .
To be honest that's the way we prefer non-paying visitors to pass through :D
Some singers add the responses "without thy trousers on" after the fourth line of each verse, and "where the ducks play football" after the seventh.
Or something like that! :P
Quote from: ianrs54 on 01 January 2014, 08:46:29 AM
Course the Welsh are even worse than Yokies - having lived in Ilkley for 4 yrs.
IanS :d :d :d :d
Here we go again ! :P :P ;)
Cheers - Phil
It ut cap fit wear jt, otherwise go ba t'hat.
IanS :D
I could have done with one half an hour ago......digging out a little ditch in the pouring rain.... =)
Cheers - Phil
Find any coal ?
IanS ;)
No Ian....Just lots of very runny mud. ;)
Sodding rain !! >:( >:(
Cheers - Phil
Hope you dry out soon.
Must be quite annoying and worrying.
Quote from: fsn on 02 January 2014, 09:19:03 AM
Hope you dry out soon. Must be quite annoying and worrying.
More annoying than
really worrying fsn....Every Winter we seem to get a deluge here.
Up until a few weeks ago I was thinking....."Gosh ! (Or something similar ;)).....The fields aren't anywhere
near as soggy as they usually are at this time of year."
I should NOT have voiced that to Mrs T.....So i blame my big gob for the way it's been since. ;D
Got to keep things in perspective again !......
Our problems are totally trivial compared to what an awful lot of folk are going through at the moment. ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Quote from: Techno on 02 January 2014, 11:20:18 AM
More annoying than really worrying fsn....Every Winter we seem to get a deluge here.
Up until a few weeks ago I was thinking....."Gosh ! (Or something similar ;)).....The fields aren't anywhere near as soggy as they usually are at this time of year."
I should NOT have voiced that to Mrs T.....So i blame my big gob for the way it's been since. ;D
Got to keep things in perspective again !......Our problems are totally trivial compared to what an awful lot of folk are going through at the moment. ;)
Cheers - Phil.
Phil, it would take more than a word out of place from you to prevent Wales from evolving into a soggy mess. To quote Neddy Seagoon, "it ain't sardines, Jim!"
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Never a truer word spoken, Ray.
This is Techno....News at 12....In his wellies.... squelching around...going, "S*d this for a game of soldiers !".
Cheers - Phil (It's actually NOT raining at the moment.....But the forecast for the next three days........ :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(....Deep joy ;))
It will rain at 16.45, as I cross the border.......
IanS ;)
Quote from: ianrs54 on 02 January 2014, 01:53:08 PM
It will rain at 16.45, as I cross the border.......IanS ;)
Count on it Ian !! ;D ;D ;D
I'm never sure whether N.Wales, or down here in the S.W. gets the most of the wet stuff........AAARGH !! ;)
Cheers - Mr Soggy.
Is the rain the reason there are no plumbed in baths in Wales ? :d
IanS
Don't need to plumb water here.....Just collect it in big ponds....And then pump it into England. :P ;)
Cheers - Phil.
My experience of spending around 10 months in Aberystwyth is that Wales has two types of weather ...
... raining
and
... about to rain!!
I remember sitting in my mother's kitchen in Shetland. Through the left windown it was raining, ahead it was reasonably sunny and to the right it was snowing.
Very odd micro climates up there. :-\
Quote from: Ithoriel on 02 January 2014, 09:29:36 PM
My experience of spending around 10 months in Aberystwyth is that Wales has two types of weather ...... raining....and... about to rain!!
You forgot the gales on the West coast I !! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: fsn on 03 January 2014, 08:14:29 AM
I remember sitting in my mother's kitchen in Shetland. Through the left windown it was raining, ahead it was reasonably sunny and to the right it was snowing. Very odd micro climates up there. :-\
It's a very strange micro climate here at Techno Towers too fsn.....Drive a mile or so to the nearest village and the weather can be completely different !
Cheers - Phil.
Cromer on the north coast of Norfolk is like that - overcast and miserable down in the town, gloriously sunny everywhere else. It's no accident that it has one of the most famous lifeboat stations in England....
Quote from: Techno on 03 January 2014, 08:21:47 AM
You forgot the gales on the West coast I !! ;D ;D ;D
That just affects the angle of the rain :)
Yeah, changes it from horizontal to vertical, upwards!