Pendraken Miniatures Forum

Non-Wargaming Discussion => Fun Stuff => Topic started by: Orcs on 30 July 2012, 03:32:02 PM

Title: Olympic Jokes
Post by: Orcs on 30 July 2012, 03:32:02 PM
The Olympic Diving Champion

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.
She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool!
She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No," she said, "I was a hooker in Alabama and I worked both sides of the Tennessee River."

President Bush's Olympic Speech
George W. Bush begins his speech to open the Olympic games.
"Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh."
An aide quickly rushes to his side and whispers "Mr. President, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is below that!"
Title: Re: Olympic Jokes
Post by: FierceKitty on 30 July 2012, 03:42:47 PM
Are you suggesting that the great and good "President" GW knew the alphabet?
Title: Re: Olympic Jokes
Post by: Orcs on 30 July 2012, 05:16:31 PM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 30 July 2012, 03:42:47 PM
Are you suggesting that the great and good "President" GW knew the alphabet?

You have to give some poetic licence for the joke to work
Title: Re: Olympic Jokes
Post by: Techno on 30 July 2012, 06:05:49 PM
Quote from: FierceKitty on 30 July 2012, 03:42:47 PM
Are you suggesting that the great and good "President" GW knew the alphabet?

Be fair FK. Even his middle name is spelled incorrectly according to many of your fellow countrymen. Or is that just a myth ? ;)
Cheers - Phil.