Here's one for anyone who has ever sat through a boring sales meeting.
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar or conference call, prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card by drawing a square - 5" x 5" is a good size - and dividing it into columns five across and five down. That will give you 25 x 1-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
*synergy*
*strategic fit*
*core competencies*
*out of the box*
*bottom line*
*revisit*
*take that off-line*
*24/7*
*out of the loop*
*benchmark*
*value-added*
*proactive*
*win-win*
*think outside the box*
*fast track*
*result-driven*
*empower (or empowerment)*
*knowledge base*
*at the end of the day*
*touch base*
*mindset*
*client focus(ed)*
*ballpark*
*game plan*
*leverage*
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of these words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
Not sure you'll get a prize, though. 8)
Hertsblue,
In meetings I attend, whichever of those terms you chose you would be on your feet (and out the door ) within five minutes!
Mollinary,
Good to see we're all singing from the same song sheet
*take that off-line*
*24/7*
*out of the loop*
*benchmark*
*knowledge base*
Hmm, I found 5 that could fit into any of my meeting without sounding like management rubbish... then again, I'm a web developer so they have actual meaning rather than just being 'bumpf'
You used to be able to buy an aerosol labelled 'Bullshit Remover'. Don't if you can still get them.
Chad
You missed out “colleagues†and “pedagogy†;)
in our staff meetings in school the rules were that we were given a list of similar words and had to get them into the meeting without being noticed. we managed quite well before we were rumbled ;D ;D ;D
The wife of one of my freinds does signing for deaf kids in school. She taught me the sign for Bullshit. I then taught it to my colleagues and now when we have a meeting and one of us thinks the manager is talking crap we use it.
It brings smiles all round, and the best bit is the manager thinks we are enjoying the meeting and being really attentive and smiling at them.
Whats the sign then?
I've got a couple to add that cropped up at work this week.
'Optioneering'
'resist-ilience' (the mind boggles)
And courtesy of a friend, 'sunsetting'
Personally i've been using 'framework' a lot lately...
Quote from: Luddite on 01 February 2012, 03:51:31 PM
Personally i've been using 'framework' a lot lately...
Avaunt thee, Satan! :D
Quote'Optioneering'
'resist-ilience'
'sunsetting'
Fortunately haven't come across any of those 3.
Have been known to use Framework - but hopefully in a technical context.
You can add some of the newer ones:
Best shore
Agile
Right-size
Leverage
Best practice
So to use them in a sentence:
Our company must leverage the best practices of the industry, become more agile, and look for ways to right-size our operations and best shore our capabilities.
Translation: our competition is beating us so we need to do what they are doing, lay-off the expensive workers and replace them with people in India.
i think you need to look at that through a different optic, do a deep dive, kick the tyres and take a dip-check. You'll then be able to benchmark the degree of hardness that can be realised from our value creation deployment
And this is why management needs to be shot =)
:D
If I remember sign for bullshit is cow horns with one arm, while other flicks sh*t out at the elbo. Obviously as sign it's easier to show than explain :-[ ;)
Best put down I heard was:
Sales manager on disappointing sales figures: "I believe there is light at the end of the tunnel."
Frustrated Chairman: " Which bloody end are YOU looking from?"
Chad
Quote from: republic of tolworth on 02 February 2012, 02:17:41 PM
And this is why management needs to be shot =)
I'm not sure its just management.
I spend my working life being brought into projects to provide legal assessment etc.
I speak in plain language to decipher the legalese for the business and my first question is always along the lines of;
'OK, tell me what you're trying to do here'...
90% of the time i get a wall of blank faces glaring at me like i'd just deficated on the desk.
It usually ends the meeting pretty quick while they go away and figure out what it is they are actually...you know...trying to do.
Sometimes i despair...
:'(