Before my dad finally kicked the bucket, he turned to me and said..
"Son, watch how far I can kick this bucket".
;D
Reminds me [somehow, dunno why...] of Rodney Rude [Aussie comedian from '80s]:
Rodney: "Me grandad got burnt the other day..."
Audience: "How burnt did he get Rodney?"
Rodney: "They don't f*ck about at the crematorium..."
;D