Ladies and Gentlemen. And Orcs...
If you have them to hand, please will you post any Christmas Cracker jokes from today.
Please post only actual Cracker jokes, not ones you have made up.
They will be forming a quiz round in 51 weeks time!
What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itis.
Why do Christmas trees like history?
Because the present is beneath them.
Why did the scarecrow win the competition?
Because he was out standing in his field!
Q: What does Santa use to grub up his potatoes?
A: A hoe! Hoe! Hoe!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snowball.
What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa's workshop?
A rebel without a Claus.
Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh?
A: Santa walking backwards
Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to ewe
Q: Why did the orange take a prune to the Christmas party?
A: Because it couldn't find a date
Note: When our local pub had it's pre-Xmas quiz they had a round of cracker jokes. It did not go down well.
Q: What did Cinderella say when her photos did not arrive on time?
A: One day my prints will come
Q: What do elves learn at school?
A: The elf-a-bet
Q: Which country's capital has the fastest growing population?
A: Ireland. Every day it's Dublin
Q: What do you call a bee that can't make up it's mind?
A: A maybe.
Q: What are snowmen before they grow up?
A: Chill-dren
QuoteWhy did the scarecrow win the competition?
Because he was out standing in his field!
I quite like that one. :)
Oh. I thought this was going to be jokes about my people.
Never mind.
Q: What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
A: Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
Quote from: Raider4 on 31 December 2024, 09:31:54 AMQ: What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
A: Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
Awww, that's a bit sad.... :-<
Just to confirm - these are all actual jokes from crackers? That is you can confirm provenance, not just Christmas jokes?
This will be the earliest I've ever written my round for the Pub Christmas Quiz!
Confirm. All of mine came from crackers.
Mine was from a Xmas cracker at the works Xmas do. There were some other great jokes, but I can't remember them!
Once or twice I made the crackers for the family lunch myself (we always got together with another family). It was great fun. I put in lewd or extremely literary written components (on one occasion, personally abusive), selected gifts suited to the recipient's tastes (an extra-wrapped netsuke in one of mine), and enough Chinese pull-string firecrackers to cause one to burst into flames, though that wasn't intentional.