As some of you have probably guessed about my comments about my Ex-wife I did not have a very happy marriage.
I got out of it some years ago and got together with Mrs Orcs. Who I have to say is wonderful. She puts up with my quirks, accepts that the dining room gets filled with a war gaming table that stays up for weeks if not months at a time. Does not nag etc etc.
Due to my horrible marriage I have been (and still am) very reticent of getting married again. Early on we both agreed we could not see the point in getting married. I have now been with Mrs Orcs for 16 years - longer than I was married, and things are great
Last weekend Mrs Orcs made an announcement " I know its a leap year, but there will be no funny stuff from me on 29th Feb". Obviously meaning she would not be proposing marriage to me.
While I am happy with this I was not sure how to take it. :) :)
Mr Slightly confused :)
It's a trap...
She wants you to propose! :D :P :x
Yep, she wants to get married but would understand if you didn't.
I can't qualify that statement but have been married a few times (so I'm probably wrong).
Quote from: Orcs on 20 February 2020, 08:12:56 PM
While I am happy with this I was not sure how to take it. :) :)
Mr Slightly confused :)[/q]
Is there any reason to take it other than as a straight reassurance by her to you that you need have no qualms as to the forthcoming date? What happened four years ago?
On a side note, have you sorted your legal position for the long-term?
Quote from: mad lemmey on 20 February 2020, 08:19:16 PM
It's a trap...
She wants you to propose! :D :P :x
Yes that's my initial thoughts.
Quote from: Matt J on 20 February 2020, 08:25:21 PM
I can't qualify that statement but have been married a few times (so I'm probably wrong).
We are discussing a woman so as we know its impossible to qualify any statement, as this may change regardless of the facts at any moment the said woman may choose :)
The legal stuff is all sorted out, provision made for both of us etc.
Four years ago it was not even mentioned. ??
(https://media.tenor.com/images/a3cb77cffb334fedcf342d54716a2b56/tenor.gif)
Distract attention from the whole second guessing game - just take her to Rome for a week.
Quote from: FierceKitty on 21 February 2020, 12:43:03 AM
Distract attention from the whole second guessing game - just take her to Rome for a week.
I am avoiding holiday talk as its a sore point at the moment.
I get the equivalent of 6.5 weeks leave a year, plus I work shifts so get quite a bit of time off as I average a 3 day week. Mrs Orcs only gets 4 weeks as she works for a small company. I suggested we go away for a week a couple of days ago as I find a weekend seems almost not worth the effort and she got quite cross as she does not have much spare leave after booking a fortnights holiday for later in the year.
OK, better learn to cook (it's rather fun, really).
Quote from: FierceKitty on 21 February 2020, 08:23:19 AM
OK, better learn to cook (it's rather fun, really).
No it's not !.....Unless it says heat on full power for 5 minutes....leave standing for one minute.....And then, heat on full power for another 3 minutes.
(But while you're doing this.....don't forget you've left the peas to boil dry.)
Thanks for reminding me, Alexander.....I really should get the Brussels sprouts on, within the next week or so....Otherwise they won't be ready for Christmas 2020.
Cheers - The Swedish chef. :D
Oi! I was enjoying my dinner till I read that!
;D ;D ;D ;D
Cheers - Phil
Quote from: Orcs on 21 February 2020, 02:24:09 AM
I am avoiding holiday talk as its a sore point at the moment.
I get the equivalent of 6.5 weeks leave a year, plus I work shifts so get quite a bit of time off as I average a 3 day week. Mrs Orcs only gets 4 weeks as she works for a small company. I suggested we go away for a week a couple of days ago as I find a weekend seems almost not worth the effort and she got quite cross as she does not have much spare leave after booking a fortnights holiday for later in the year.
Can relate to that! Same thing here. I work shifts and get 43 days of leave when i work fulltime. Wife is always angry about that :D
I'm wondering whether it's just code for 'buy more figures'!
but it could be more complicated, like ... 'buy more figures than you can afford and then send them off to be professionally painted'.
It can be hard to work out, but it will likely be one of those two things!
Quote from: Norm on 21 February 2020, 06:46:00 PM
I'm wondering whether it's just code for 'buy more figures'!
but it could be more complicated, like ... 'buy more figures than you can afford and then send them off to be professionally painted'.
It can be hard to work out, but it will likely be one of those two things!
OOOHHHHH , I like your thinking Norm. That must have been what she meant. ;) ;)
Quote from: Orcs on 21 February 2020, 07:59:37 PM
OOOHHHHH , I like your thinking Norm. That must have been whet she meant. ;) ;)
Brave. Very brave . . .
Quote from: Orcs on 20 February 2020, 08:12:56 PM
As some of you have probably guessed about my comments about my Ex-wife I did not have a very happy marriage.
I got out of it some years ago and got together with Mrs Orcs. Who I have to say is wonderful. She puts up with my quirks, accepts that the dining room gets filled with a war gaming table that stays up for weeks if not months at a time. Does not nag etc etc.
Due to my horrible marriage I have been (and still am) very reticent of getting married again. Early on we both agreed we could not see the point in getting married. I have now been with Mrs Orcs for 16 years - longer than I was married, and things are great
Last weekend Mrs Orcs made an announcement " I know its a leap year, but there will be no funny stuff from me on 29th Feb". Obviously meaning she would not be proposing marriage to me.
While I am happy with this I was not sure how to take it. :) :)
Mr Slightly confused :)
So, any (slightly) unexpected updates yet?
Have a wee think about what you would say/do if she did propose.
Mrs Orcs may have just had a reminder last week of the tradition and could be either messing with you or trying to put your mind at rest. Somewhat fantastic that a comment can be read two completely different ways.
I'm married when I was never intending to get married. To me it's made no difference to how things would have played out anyway.
I'll just stick with the first (and only) one. (Von)
Sounds like it's far simpler. ;)
Cheers - Phil :P
Quote from: Techno on 29 February 2020, 03:43:03 PM
I'll just stick with the first (and only) one. (Von)
Sounds like it's far simpler. ;)
Cheers - Phil :P
Yep far simpler, cheaper and MUCH, MUCH, MUCH less hassle.
Nothing to update. We were going out for a meal, but I think this is now going to be a takeaway whilst catching up on "endeavour"
Hope the meal with you and your good lady went well, Orcs. Like Endeavour myself.
A Saturday night question* if you don't mind me asking. Who is ruling your life? You or your ex-wife? Just a thought.*
p.s. there are also such things as pre-nupts ... mind you, weddings can be expensive. :)
* fuelled by a couple of malt whiskies, a couple of glasses of wine and a few beers. :-[
She's still got an hour to ask, being the 29th...
HIDE
You should sulk for a week for her not asking! ;)
Quote from: Westmarcher on 29 February 2020, 09:46:07 PM
Hope the meal with you and your good lady went well, Orcs. Like Endeavour myself.
A Saturday night question* if you don't mind me asking. Who is ruling your life? You or your ex-wife? Just a thought.*
p.s. there are also such things as pre-nupts ... mind you, weddings can be expensive. :)
* fuelled by a couple of malt whiskies, a couple of glasses of wine and a few beers. :-[
I rule my life, I have nothing tomdo with my ex. just not sure I actually want to be married again.
If you're both happy with the way it is........? :-\
Cheers - Phil
Quote from: Techno on 01 March 2020, 07:11:08 PM
If you're both happy with the way it is........? :-
Cheers - Phil
Well that's what I thought before Mrs Orcs said what she did. hence my confusion.
Quote from: Westmarcher on 29 February 2020, 09:46:07 PM
weddings can be expensive. :)
There are ways to reduce the cost, but If you count nephews and nieces and their growing band of kiddies I have 50 direct family, just on my side, so even a party with a hog roast would put a big dent in the Wargaming/holiday budget.
But I seem to have escaped for another 4 years :-bd
#:-S ;D
Orcs, I am assuming you are asking for our genuine opinion here and not just looking for "lads bravado" comments so, brace yourself. Don't hold it against me for my straight talking here.
Quote from: Orcs on 20 February 2020, 08:12:56 PM
As some of you have probably guessed about my comments about my Ex-wife I did not have a very happy marriage.
Due to my horrible marriage I have been (and still am) very reticent of getting married again.
Quote from: Westmarcher on 29 February 2020, 09:46:07 PM
Who is ruling your life? You or your ex-wife?
Quote from: Orcs on 01 March 2020, 06:03:32 PM
I rule my life, I have nothing to do with my ex. just not sure I actually want to be married again.
OK, but it looks like you just told us it's because of your horrible marriage.
Quote from: Orcs on 20 February 2020, 08:12:56 PM
I got out of it some years ago and got together with Mrs Orcs. Who I have to say is wonderful. She puts up with my quirks, accepts that the dining room gets filled with a war gaming table that stays up for weeks if not months at a time. Does not nag etc etc.
... I have now been with Mrs Orcs for 16 years - longer than I was married, and things are great
Quote from: Orcs on 20 February 2020, 08:12:56 PM
Last weekend Mrs Orcs made an announcement " I know its a leap year, but there will be no funny stuff from me on 29th Feb". Obviously meaning she would not be proposing marriage to me.
Quote from: Orcs on 20 February 2020, 08:12:56 PM
While I am happy with this I was not sure how to take it. :) :)
Mr Slightly confused :)
Not every woman is the same, Orcs. For every guy on this forum whose marriage has failed, there is another guy who has been fortunate (and I don't mean that in a bad way for those who have been unfortunate - if it's not working, it can't be helped. That's just life. .. which can stink, sometimes). I know at least three guys whose second marriage has turned out to be the best and still lasts. Of course there is much to be said for the "if it's not broke, don't fix it" approach, but 16 years now? If you are still not sure, why? Sounds like you've got a good lady to me.
[/quote]
Quote from: Orcs on 01 March 2020, 07:58:39 PM
There are ways to reduce the cost,
But I seem to have escaped for another 4 years :-bd
You seemed to have escaped? Ha, ha ... but seriously, you now have 4 years to save up for a nice celebration (and that will be 20 years together). :) You don't need to go overboard. For example, if you can't afford it now, £10 to £20 per month and you'll have £500 - £1,000 to hire a scout hall, provide a buffet and hire a band for the reception. In fact, why not just "elope" and just announce it to everybody? You're looking for an answer to her statement about the 29th so I say, don't ask us, ask
her (cautiously) what she wants, discuss it, just run the idea past her (in whatever way you think is best) of both of you getting hitched and find out what she (and you) really wants. If she's happy to continue the status quo, question answered. Just don't ask us. After all you've been together all of these years and from what you tell us, it seems to be working - unless you think it's not? [By the way, if she had asked you to marry her on the 29th, what would have been your reply?]
Thankfully for the rest of us, the final decision is yours. All the best to you and your good lady, Orcs, whatever you decide.
Yours sincerely, in strictest confidence, along with the other 2000+ members of this forum. :P
Westie
(Davy) :)
p.s. btw, disappointed the season of 'Endeavour' has finished so soon, but, so far, quite like the replacement, 'McDonald & Dodds.' Like the Dodds character - reminds me of my own experience dealing with these young "know it alls" who thought if you were old you were stupid.
HI Davy
No problem with "straight talking" I cannot stand beating about the bush.
Mrs Orcs is an absolute diamond and I would like to grow old with her, so had she asked the answer would have been yes.
It just that your feelings and logic do not always follow the same path. hence my reticence when the word "marriage" is mentioned. What we currently have is exactly the same as marriage but without the piece of paper. Financial provision has been made for both of us and wills written.
Paying for it would not really be an issue- sorting out who to invite and how many might be. Eloping and announcing later would be disappointing to most of the family as I think they would like to see us married.
Mrs Orcs previously has always maintained that she cannot see why we need to get married and is happy to maintain the status quo, hence my confusion when she made her statement. It did not fit in to any previous conversation of the past 16 years.